Maseches Eruvin 86

גמ׳ אמר רב הלכה כרבי שמעון ודוקא בתו אבל בנו לא דאמרי אינשי נבח בך כלבא עול נבח בך גורייתא פוק:

GEMARA: Rav said: The halakha is in accordance with the opinion of Rabbi Shimon. The Gemara comments: And this is the halakha only if one went to his daughter’s house; but if he went to his son’s house, no, this is not the halakha. One cannot be sure that he will be able to stay at his son’s house, for his daughter-in-law might object to his presence and force him to return home. As people say: If a dog barks at you, enter; if a female dog barks at you, leave. In other words, the objections of a female, such as one’s daughter-in-law, who will certainly not be opposed by her husband, are more powerful than those of a male, such as one’s son-in-law.

שו״ע יו״ד ר״ם:י״ז 

אחד האיש ואחד האשה שוין בכבוד ובמורא של אב ואם אלא שהאשה אין בידה לעשות שהיא משועבדת לבעלה לפיכך היא פטורה מכבוד אב ואם בעודה נשואה ואם נתגרשה או נתאלמנה חייבת:

It is fascinating to note that the practical life situation runs contrary to the norms established by halakha. Meaning, despite the fact that it is the daughter who is exempted from honoring her mother or father when it runs contrary to her obligations to her husband, while a man is always obligated to honor his parents, the facts on the ground from this Mishna tell a different story. A father who leaves to stay by his daughter for Shabbos is not expected to return, however a father who leaves to stay by his son for Shabbos is considered that he might return home even on Shabbos. Why? Because the daughter-in-law is more likely to object in thereby it will cause a disagreement. On the other hand, when the father comes to his biological daughter, there is less likely for a disagreement.

We see from here That first of all, the woman is master of the Jewish home and it is her domain. Second, we see that the practicality trumps the halakha. The daughter-in-law can end up pushing her father-in-law out of the home, despite the fact that the husband remains fully obligated in kibbud av v’em, and on the other side, the biological daughter is able to maintain her father in her home, despite the fact that she is not necessarily obligated if it interferes with her responsibilities toward her husband.

This shows in a different way A theme which we have been discussing how they are real life situations, the fifth volume of Shulkhan Arukh if you will, which dictate practice.

for Video Shiur click here to listen:  Psychology of the DAF Eruvin 86

Translation Courtesy of Sefaria