Talent is a gift, but character is a choice

― John C. Maxwell

How do you work with the most irritating person in the world, Who knows all your tricks, and is as bad as you and is as good as you? Yes, I’m talking about yourself. All of us have a wellspring of talents and deficits, sensitivities and weaknesses. How do we use what we have and not lie to ourselves?

Our Gemara on amud Beis and Tosafos (“Dilma”) Discuss the concept of eating the Paschal sacrifice while being so full of food as to detest it. This is also discussed further and defined in Gemara Nazir (23a). The Gemara in Nazir quotes a verse in Hoshea (14:10), that two people can both appear to be fulfilling the mitzvah of pesach with great intent and effort, yet one can be heading toward greatness and the other, toward failure:

מִ֤י חָכָם֙ וְיָ֣בֵֽן אֵ֔לֶּה נָב֖וֹן וְיֵֽדָעֵ֑ם כִּֽי־יְשָׁרִ֞ים דַּרְכֵ֣י יְהוָ֗ה וְצַדִּקִים֙ יֵ֣לְכוּ בָ֔ם וּפֹשְׁעִ֖ים יִכָּ֥שְׁלוּ בָֽם׃

⁦He who is wise will consider these words, He who is prudent will take note of them. For the paths of the LORD are smooth; The righteous can walk on them, While sinners stumble on them.

This verse is tapping into a deep idea that it is easy to fool ourselves. Even in the act of doing great things, “the ways of Hashem”, if our intentions are not proper we can easily stumble. How many times do we engage with friends, loved ones, family members telling ourselves all kinds of stories which are true enough. But we don’t care enough, we are not humble enough, we are not selfless enough. We tell ourselves stories, and then when problems happen, we say “why me? I really meant well.“

Rabbi Chaim of Tchernovitz (1760 — 1817).

באר מים חיים בראשית כז, ג

Explains in more depth that this is just not about commandments but even about the qualities of a person. All of our character traits have the ability to guide us toward greatness or toward depravity. Even the so-called bad character traits can guide us to greatness, and the so-called good character traits can guide us toward depravity.

How difficult this work is, to care deeply and know deeply ourselves and others, and to be guided by what is right even when it doesn’t feel good, and to stay away from wrong even when it does feel good.