Are Second Marriages More Likely to End in Divorce? What factors can help predict long term stability in second marriages?
Our Gemara at the end of amud aleph advises against a divorced man from marrying a divorced woman, the Gemara warns: There are four minds in the bed during intimacy. Each person thinks about his current and former spouse.
What does the research say about second marriages? In general, there are consistent indications that second marriages more frequently end in divorce. However, the hypothesized reasons are key, because they can make a difference in identifying what to beware of.
There are a number of possible forces and factors that could weaken or strengthen a second marriage, some of them personality and skill based while others circumstance and process based.
In terms of personality and skills, people who marry for a second time may have learned better communication skills, be more established financially, emotionally and career-wise. In addition, as they have already divorced, one might argue the person may employ better discernment and increased motivation in the choice of whom to marry and why one should stay married. On the other hand, those who divorce may have intrinsically more damaged attachment styles, more pathology, and even an appropriate or inappropriate willingness to “bail out” at signs of trouble, since he or she knows the warning signs, or he or she may be too pessimistic.
In terms of circumstance and process, second marriages often involve step children, complex custody and litigation, as well as ex-spouses which can put great strain on the new marriage.
A recent study attempted to factor out the various causes and seems to indicate that the personality/skills of the individuals was more of a factor in predicting stability than the circumstances and process. This indicates that motivation, attitude, communication skills and overall emotional health is a greater determinant of marital stability than the circumstances or process. This is good news because it tilts the odds in favor of people willing to learn and grow, and they truly can create a second marriage more stable than their first.
Source: Differences in Relationship Stability Between Individuals in First and Second Marriages: A Propensity Score Analysis
Journal of Family Issues 1–27 © The Author(s) 2015 .Todd M. Jensen, Kevin Shafer, Shenyang Guo, and Jeffry H. Larson
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