Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the idea that once a matter is forbidden by a rabbinic vote, it requires a vote to lift the prohibition, even If the original reason no longer applies. Rav Yosef derives it from the verses that require celibacy from the Jewish people prior to the giving of the Torah. Even though it was clearly a temporary ban, in order to focus and prepare for this spiritual event, the verse later seemed to require an additional statement to permit resumption of sexual intimacy after the Torah was given.

Shem Mi-Shmuel (Shavuous 4) explains the ban via a derash. Though the ban was merely temporary for 3 days, the intention of experience during the ban was permanent. Meaning to say, WHILE the Jews were in a celibate state they should not have physical distractions and act as if sexuality did not exist, though for practical reasons it could not be sustained permanently. A good way to illustrate this is by comparing this to the idea that on Yom Kippur we strive to be like angels who have no physical need for food or sexuality. This is what makes the fasting on Yom Kippur different than the mourning of Tisha B’Av. It’s not a deprivation in order to suffer and grieve. Rather it’s a deprivation to free oneself temporarily from physical distractions to enter a higher state of consciousness. You can imagine that if one spent his or her entire Yom Kippur obsessing over and craving food, though this would be a technical fulfillment of the requirement, it would be lacking in the deepest fulfillment. This is because the point is to enter into a state where physical needs are not the focus. Though technically it is a temporary state, when one is in that state, the mindset should be beyond time.

Spiritual and emotional matters do not occupy time in the same manner as physical matters. They allow a person to temporarily reach a state of transcendence that within those moments feels Permanent, even though they really are not practically so. This is why there is this idea that יש קונה עולמו בשעה אחת, There is one who acquires his share in the World-to-Come in one moment (Avodah Zara 18a). Because even a lifetime of sin can be somehow completely countermanded via a momentary attainment of a spiritual state, that in its moment, can be eternal.

In marriages too, there can be moments where a certain intimacy is achieved that transcends years of pain and alienation. When I am working with a couple who are not getting along, and then they tell me they had a good two or three days, but then everything fell apart, I observe the following: the fact that it fell apart after a few days is an important technical point, and no doubt due to various patterns Of resentment and deficits in communication and empathy. However, it does not mean that the intimacy and connection that was achieved during those two or three good days are insignificant. To the contrary, if it could be achieved for two or three days, thenit also could be achieved for two or three weeks, years, and even ultimately, two or three decades.