Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses a case where a person inflicts damage upon a person by pouring a caustic agent on the person’s head that causes permanent baldness. Each category of damage is evaluated, loss of livelihood, pain, medical bills, actual loss of physical feature, and humiliation.
How does loss of hair interfere with livelihood and/or cause pain? The Gemara explains that this person was a dancer or performance artist, and relied on gestures of his head and hair as part of his performance. The pain was caused by the presence of fissures in his scalp, so that the applied agent burned. And, in relation to the humiliation, the Gemara reflects, “What can be a greater humiliation than this?”
What is the “this” that our Gemara is referring to? How can the Gemara call baldness a humiliation that none can be greater than, when there are billions of people in the world who are balding or already have no hair? Rav Steinsaltz’s commentary, following his practice of giving the simplest explanation, assumes that the humiliation is the exposure of the fissures or sores on his scalp that were previously hidden by his hair. This is an original and creative peshat that solves this question, but the other commentaries do not seem to learn that way. Shulchan Aruch (CM 420:12) codifies this rule as applying to any case where the damager caused permanent baldness, and does not make payment for humiliation contingent upon having sores on the now exposed scalp. Rather, it would seem, the baldness itself is a humiliation. Our original question then returns: Why is baldness, a natural condition almost inevitable for most, considered such an embarrassment ?
We must conclude that a sudden loss of hair, especially when inflicted by another, is subjectively humiliating. This is most likely due to the lack of time to prepare or cope with this sudden unexpected change in appearance. This idea is also supported by an incident described later on daf 90b, where a woman claimed compensation for public embarrassment from a man who pulled her head covering off. The defendant set up his own sting operation, and set up witnesses who observed her voluntarily uncovering her hair in public. Despite this, Rabbi Akiva still awarded her the damages. One way to understand that ruling is along the lines of above. If she uncovers her hair voluntarily, that is one thing. But to have it suddenly done against her will is far more humiliating.
Humans do not do well with unexpected changes and the idea of needing time to transition and adjust has been extensively researched, especially in educational literature. Schlossberg and Goodman (1995. Counseling Adults in Transition: Linking Practice with Theory. New York: Springer. 2nd ed.) conducted research on how people cope with change. Some key points that he described are:
There are various types of transition:
- Anticipated transitions (Graduation)
- Unanticipated transitions: (such as divorce, sudden death of a loved one, loss of a job or social status)
- Non-events: transitions that are expected but do not occur
Schlossberg identified four major sets of factors that influence a person's ability to cope with a transition (known as the 4 S's):
- Situation
- Self
- Support
- Strategies
Situation
- Trigger: What precipitated the transition?
- Timing: Is the transition considered "on time" or "off time" in terms of one's social clock?
- Control: What aspect of the transition does the individual perceive as being within his/her control?
- Role change: Is a role change involved and, if so, is it viewed as a gain or a loss?
- Duration: Is it seen as permanent, temporary, or uncertain?
- Previous experience with a similar transition: How effectively did the person cope then, and what are implications for the current transition?
- Concurrent stress: Are other sources of stress present?
- Assessment: Who or what is seen as responsible for the transition, and how is the individual's behavior affected by this person?
Self:
- Personal and demographic characteristics affect how an individual views life, such as socioeconomic status, gender, age, stage of life, state of health, and ethnicity.
- Psychological resources include ego development, outlook, and commitment and values.
Social Support
- Intimate relationships
- Family
- Networks of friends
- Institutions and communities
Strategies:
- Those that modify the situation
- Those that control the meaning of the problem
- Those that aid in managing the stress in the aftermath
It is a human need to have stability and sudden changes, even for the better, can cause stress reactions, let alone traumatic and painful changes. However, humans are resilient and self-healing. Knowing and planning for transitions are most helpful, and if they occur suddenly, understanding and acknowledging the losses and the changes are important in the recovery process. Seeking ways to restore a sense of stability and control also help, and this does not necessarily mean fighting the change, but also finding new meaning and purpose to come to accept the change. This is a personal process that should not be rushed by others. Loved ones and family should be patient and supportive allowing the person time and space to grieve the loss.
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