Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses a practice that was technically not usury, but the Talmud ruled that rabbis should abstain from it nonetheless, because they should behave according to a higher standard. The Gemara records that Ravina did not abstain from this practice and stuck with the letter of the law. Tosafos (ibid) wonders about this, and Rabbenu Tam suggests that thiswas due to Ravina’s humility in that he did not want to portray himself as a sage.

This Tosafos is used by the Chida (Shu”t Chaim Sha’al I:61) to rule in an unusual question. There was a well known pious individual who personally did not want to wear Tefillin of Rabbenu Tam because Shulchan Aruch (OH 34:3) declares that a person should not wear Rabbenu Tam tefillin unless he is well established and known in his piety. This person, though well-known and regarded, did not want to claim such a mantle. This became an ethical conundrum as, everyone knew him to be pious, and therefore not donning Rabbenu Tam tefilin might lead others to weaken their Torah observance in misattributing his non-observance of this practice as moral laxity. The Chida ruled, based on our Tosafos, that despite appearances and well known perception of the person as pious, he can choose to behave as an ordinary citizen out of his own wish to be humble. After all, who could have been more well regarded as a sage than Ravina, and yet he chose to behave as a regular person.

Yiddeshkeit constantly embodies contradictory priorities and ethics; to be humble or to inspire others by filling the shoes of a great sage? My father Z”L used to teach me as a child: “Don’t talk about the mitzvos you do, as the Satan will overhear and interfere.” It was good advice overall but I do think some of it can lead to a lack of vulnerability and emotional honesty with loved ones. After my getting married and learning new ideas, my wife would object to such excessively humble practices as she was used to the demonstrably pious acts of her father. (I don’t mean this in a mocking way - my father in law WAS pious, and wanted to model such behavior to his Talmidim and children.) I realized this was an important point as inside your family it is better to model piety and not keep religious strivings and efforts a secret. I wish my piety was revealed to my children and my impiety a secret, though it is more likely the opposite occurred.