Our Gemara on Amud Aleph refers to an adage that the Nazir is expected to heed, but also is a general ethical direction to becautious in not getting too close to temptations:

 

Go, go, we say to a nazirite, go round, go round; do not approach a vineyard. It is prohibited for a nazirite to eat any of the products of the vine. To keep a nazirite away from temptation, the Sages attempt to deter him from accepting work in a vineyard.

 

One of the most famous Nazirs was Shimshon. The Malbim used this Gemara to explain an incident from his life (Judges Chapter 14):

 

וַיֵּ֧רֶד שִׁמְשׁ֛וֹן וְאָבִ֥יו וְאִמּ֖וֹ תִּמְנָ֑תָה וַיָּבֹ֙אוּ֙ עַד־כַּרְמֵ֣י תִמְנָ֔תָה וְהִנֵּה֙ כְּפִ֣יר אֲרָי֔וֹת שֹׁאֵ֖ג לִקְרָאתֽוֹ׃

 

So Samson and his father and mother went down to Timnah.When he came to the vineyards of Timnah [for the first time], a full-grown lion came roaring at him.

 

וַתִּצְלַ֨ח עָלָ֜יו ר֣וּחַ ה׳ וַֽיְשַׁסְּעֵ֙הוּ֙ כְּשַׁסַּ֣ע הַגְּדִ֔י וּמְא֖וּמָה אֵ֣ין בְּיָד֑וֹ וְלֹ֤א הִגִּיד֙ לְאָבִ֣יו וּלְאִמּ֔וֹ אֵ֖ת אֲשֶׁ֥ר עָשָֽׂה׃ 

 

The spirit of GOD gripped him, and he tore him asunder with his bare hands as one might tear a kid asunder; but he did not tell his father and mother what he had done.

 

Various commentaries ask, if Shimshon was traveling with his parents, how could they not have seen this event. It’s hard not to notice a lion attacking and then being torn apart. What does the verse mean when it says, “He did not tell his father and mother what he had done.”? The Malbim answers, since the verse tells us that they were passing the vineyards of Timna, Shimshon parted company with his parents. They walked through the vineyard, and Shimshon took the long route to circumvent temptation. It was then that the lion attacked, and so his parents did not see any of the miracles transpire.

 

I must ask, why did his parents not accompany Shimshon on that route? It is dangerous to let someone travel alone, especially when we have a teaching that a lion does not pounce on two people (Shabbos 151a). I suppose the answer is that his parents were elderly and could not easily follow his path.

 

A more creative answer occurs to me as well. Where was Shimshon’s family going and why? The verses tell us, that he requested to marry a philistine woman, to the dismay of his parents ibid 2-3):

 

וַיַּ֗עַל וַיַּגֵּד֙ לְאָבִ֣יו וּלְאִמּ֔וֹ וַיֹּ֗אמֶר אִשָּׁ֛ה רָאִ֥יתִי בְתִמְנָ֖תָה מִבְּנ֣וֹת פְּלִשְׁתִּ֑ים וְעַתָּ֕ה קְחוּ־אוֹתָ֥הּ לִ֖י לְאִשָּֽׁה׃

 

On his return, he told his father and mother, “I noticed one of the Philistine women in Timnah; please get her for me as a wife.”

 

וַיֹּ֨אמֶר ל֜וֹ אָבִ֣יו וְאִמּ֗וֹ הַאֵין֩ בִּבְנ֨וֹת אַחֶ֤יךָ וּבְכׇל־עַמִּי֙ אִשָּׁ֔ה כִּֽי־אַתָּ֤ה הוֹלֵךְ֙ לָקַ֣חַת אִשָּׁ֔ה מִפְּלִשְׁתִּ֖ים הָעֲרֵלִ֑ים וַיֹּ֨אמֶר שִׁמְשׁ֤וֹן אֶל־אָבִיו֙ אוֹתָ֣הּ קַֽח־לִ֔י כִּי־הִ֖יא יָשְׁרָ֥ה בְעֵינָֽי׃

 

His father and mother said to him, “Is there no one among the daughters of your own kindred and among all our people, that you must go and take a wife from the uncircumcised Philistines?” But Samson answered his father, “Get me that one, for she is the one that pleases me.”

 

But as the verse (ibid 4) also tells us:

 

“His father and mother did not realize that his request was from GOD, who was seeking a pretext against the Philistines, for the Philistines were ruling over Israel at that time.”

 

Can you imagine the scene? Shimshon is demanding to intermarry but all of the sudden he’s too frum to walk in the vineyard, because he might be tempted? It is possible that his parents found his motives and behavior so inconsistent that they did not feel compelled to accompany him on a fool’s quest. As it says in Avos (2:5): “A brute is not sin-fearing, nor is an ignorant person pious.”

 

If so, this is an important lesson. Sometimes our loved one’s quest to perform a mitzvah or enact piety may seem incongruent or hypocritical. We should be careful to not judge quickly and consider supporting the efforts within reason, despite apparent inconsistencies.