Love at First Sight

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the possibility that even viewing certain ownerless items, with the intent to possess them, effects a binding acquisition.

Rav Shlomo Kluger (Chachmas Torah, Vayetze) asks, The sages teach, one who is without a woman, is without Torah (Yevamos 62b). If so, how could Yaakov maintain that he was observant of all the mitzvos while he was at Lavan’s house (see Rashi Bereishis 32:5), when for a good portion of that time he was unmarried? The answer is based on our Gemara, which holds that sight alone can allow for acquisition. From the moment Yaakov met Rachel, he no longer had the status of “without a woman”. I will add, the language of the teaching may have been intentionally precise, in describing the state as “without a woman” instead of being “without marriage”. The implication being that having a relationship, even in the engagement or dating phase, is also valuable. The beneficial social and spiritual functions of relating to another deeply trusted person begins before marriage. The dating process, and certainly the engagement process is where the relationship starts. Friction and disparities between two people are opportunities for new-order thinking.  Torah can only be intelligently expressed when there is humility and perspective, otherwise it can be a tool that is misused to control or hurt people. When one has to cooperate and work together with a different person other than self, it stimulates important functions of empathy, communication and self-knowledge.