Our Gemara at the end of amud aleph into amud beis makes a rule regarding a situation when negative and critical speech, l’shon hara, is permitted:

 

כֹּל מִילְּתָא דְּמִתְאַמְרָא בְּאַפֵּי תְּלָתָא, לֵית בָּהּ מִשּׁוּם לִישָּׁנָא בִּישָׁא

 

Rabba bar Rav Huna says: Any matter that is said in the presence of three people is not subject to the prohibition of malicious speech, as it is already public knowledge. 

 

The exact interpretation of this line is subject to dispute amongst poskim, and to understand halacha le-maase, one should refer to Be'er Mayim Chaim on Chafetz Chaim, Part One, The Prohibition Against Lashon Hara, Principle 2 1:1:1.  Many of the peshatim involve a variation on the theme that since the statement is public or stated publicly, it therefore is not some kind of back room gossip. In that case, passing it along to others can be seen as not with an intention to spread hatred, but to share a fact that some may need to know or is inevitable that it will be known.

 

Using this idea, Be’er Mayyim Chaim (Bereishis 31:1) explains how Yaakov could have accepted rumors and grumblings that he heard about Lavan’s sons:

 

וַיִּשְׁמַ֗ע אֶת־דִּבְרֵ֤י בְנֵֽי־לָבָן֙ לֵאמֹ֔ר לָקַ֣ח יַעֲקֹ֔ב אֵ֖ת כׇּל־אֲשֶׁ֣ר לְאָבִ֑ינוּ וּמֵאֲשֶׁ֣ר לְאָבִ֔ינוּ עָשָׂ֕ה אֵ֥ת כׇּל־הַכָּבֹ֖ד הַזֶּֽה׃ 

 

Now he heard the things that Laban’s sons were saying: “Jacob has taken all that was our father’s, and from that which was our father’s he has built up all this wealth.”

 

Be’er Mayyim Chaim understands that since the verse does not record an actual dialogue, which is the usual the Biblical style, then Yaakov must have heard it second hand. According to this principle, Yaakov was not listening to idle gossip, as similar to the owner publicly objecting to the property-squatter in our Gemara, the intent is that the words should reach the person for a specific constructive purpose.  Lavan’s sons correctly or incorrectly, had a claim against Yaakov and wanted him to know that. Therefore, those that spread the word, and Yaakov’s attention to it, did not constitute gossip.

 

I will add an observation.  When Yaakov reacts to this intelligence and resolves that it is time to go, and even God tells him to, it is notable how and what he shares with Rachel and Leah (bid 2-13

 

וַיַּ֥רְא יַעֲקֹ֖ב אֶת־פְּנֵ֣י לָבָ֑ן וְהִנֵּ֥ה אֵינֶ֛נּוּ עִמּ֖וֹ כִּתְמ֥וֹל שִׁלְשֽׁוֹם׃

 

Jacob also saw that Laban’s manner toward him was not as it had been in the past.

 

וַיֹּ֤אמֶר ה אֶֽל־יַעֲקֹ֔ב שׁ֛וּב אֶל־אֶ֥רֶץ אֲבוֹתֶ֖יךָ וּלְמוֹלַדְתֶּ֑ךָ וְאֶֽהְיֶ֖ה עִמָּֽךְ׃

 

Then Hashem said to Jacob, “Return to your ancestors’ land—where you were born—and I will be with you.”

 

וַיִּשְׁלַ֣ח יַעֲקֹ֔ב וַיִּקְרָ֖א לְרָחֵ֣ל וּלְלֵאָ֑ה הַשָּׂדֶ֖ה אֶל־צֹאנֽוֹ׃

 

Jacob had Rachel and Leah called to the field, where his flock was,

 

וַיֹּ֣אמֶר לָהֶ֗ן רֹאֶ֤ה אָנֹכִי֙ אֶת־פְּנֵ֣י אֲבִיכֶ֔ן כִּֽי־אֵינֶ֥נּוּ אֵלַ֖י כִּתְמֹ֣ל שִׁלְשֹׁ֑ם וֵֽאלֹקְי אָבִ֔י הָיָ֖ה עִמָּדִֽי׃

 

and said to them, “I see that your father’s manner toward me is not as it has been in the past. But the God of my father’s [house] has been with me.

 

Yaakov proceeds to tell them that why he wants to leave:

 

1. He doesn't feel comfortable with the “theatening looks” Lavan is giving him.
2. God told him it is time to go.

 

It is notable that Yaakov does not mention their brothers.  I believe that since Yaakov did not witness that information first hand, he felt it was not right to mention it, as it was an unnecessary additional point that was not even 100% verified.  In addition, it is remarkable that though God tells Yaakov to go, Yaakov presents to his wives the order and process of his thinking. Indeed, first he heard the rumors in the name of Lavan’s sons, then he noticed Lavan’s attitude, and finally the prophecy.  There may be truth that we can only perceive what we are ready to perceive. Yaakov went through a process of realization and awareness before he could see the truth about his situation; this might even blunt his ability to receive a prophecy. (For an example of how having a certain incorrect belief can even affect the prophecy, see Tosafos Yevamos 62a, “Dikesiv”.)  This teaches a lesson in perception and cognitive bias. 

 

Additionally, perhaps Yaakov did not want to pull the “religion card”. He wanted Rachel and Leah to know the circumstances why he thought it was the right time to leave, and not merely ask them to take it on faith.