Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses various customs of abstention from demonstrations of joy, pleasure and material wealth in order to honor and internalize being contrite over our exile.

One of the challenges in our a time of relative prosperity is to honestly feel a sense of mourning and loss. We have to recall events from the Holocaust, or more recently October 7, and the general rise of antisemitism to arouse a mood of dread. It is important to be humbled and not let prosperity go to our heads so we not lose sight of our vulnerability and need to rely on God. This is a theme which was predicted prophetically in Devarim (32:15): 

So Jeshurun grew fat and kicked—You grew fat and gross and coarse —They forsook the God who made themAnd spurned the Rock of their support.

At the risk of being disrespectful, I would like to emphasize a different point in the name of rationality and psychological honesty. Of course the ideas above of remaining appropriately contrite and affected by our exile are worthy, yet I think there is another side. We cannot completely delude ourselves and pretend we are just so sad and suffering without a Temple and Jewish monarchy. In many respects, life in the 21st Century is good, even Jewish life. Some try to reframe the mourning along the lines that, “We are so lost in exile, that like a pig in mud, we are oblivious to what we do not have.” I think that it is a helpful approach but still lacking in the fullest authenticity, because well, to be honest it just doesn’t feel that sad, and we have great spiritual opportunities because of our prosperity and freedoms. It’s hard to deny it.  

Let’s look at an interesting source from Rosh Hashanah (18b) referring to the Four Fasts: Tzom Gedaliah, Asara B’Teves, Shiva Asar B’Tammuz and Tisha B’Av.

When there is peace in the world and the Temple is standing, these days will be times of joy and gladness; when there is persecution and troubles for the Jewish people, they are days of fasting; and when there is no persecution but still no peace, neither particular troubles nor consolation for Israel, the halakha is as follows: If people wish, they fast, and if they wish, they do not fast. Since there is no absolute obligation to fast, messengers are not sent out for these months.

In actual Halacha, the longstanding custom for generations, is to keep these fasts (Shulchan Aruch 550:1) no matter how prosperous the social and economic conditions are. Even when something is true in the technical Halacha, despite the custom being contrary, it still has ethical implications. The fact that there is an idea, albeit never followed, that during times of prosperity engaging in certain abstentions and morning processes were voluntary shows that there is some ethical merit to the notion that it is not the simplest thing to mourn and feel sad when there is prosperity.

The upshot is, that of course we must pay respect to the idea that in fact, we are still only by the grace of God in some degree of prosperity. Therefore it is incumbent upon us to remember the suffering of the past as well as the subtle indignities of current exile. At the same time, we can be honest with ourselves and realize that there is prosperity and that it can affect the degree and ability for us to realistically experience a sense of tragedy and grief.