Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D. Where Psychology and Judaism meet
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You better listen to your Dad, 2018
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
Mirrors of Desire
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
From light to darkness
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2024-12-21 23:44:02
I recently sat with a client and listened to a recording he’d made of himself, years earlier, playing the guitar and singing the song of his favorite artist. My client and I marveled at how meticulously he’d reproduced the riffs, the tones, and the timing of the artist. My client, who is older than I am, is no longer able to play the guitar; his voice is no longer quite able to hit the notes. It was a bittersweet moment. It highlighte …
Heart and Shoulders: Why civil law matters
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2024-02-23 14:16:23
When studying the Torah, it pays to attend not just to the recorded content - be it the narratives or the Mitzvos, but also to the language that the Torah uses in conveying its content. In particular, we can tap and mine the rich veins of Biblical wisdom, when we are willing to examine the Torah’s linguistic parallels and contrasts. A case in point is the wording found in Parshas Tetzaveh, as the Torah introduces the firs …
Confessions of a Chayal's Parent
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2024-02-14 22:19:04
My wife and I are in the unique position of living in between two distinct communities. We spent numerous years in Kollel and have been part of the larger Yeshiva community for decades. Those years and decades were deeply meaningful to us; they remain very much a part of us. We continue to cherish the friendships and connections we formed during our Kollel-plus years. My wife and I, though, also enjoyed upbringings that included a broader …
Avos, Aretz, and the cords that bind us
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2023-11-14 10:58:48
As Israel finds itself in the second month of its war on Hamas - this, following the shocking massacre of 1,400 Israelis and the taking of more than 200 hostages - I’ve decided to share a thought, a meditation. It’s one that grounds me and brings me solace. Perhaps, you too will find meaning. There are deeply disturbing facets to the war: the gruesome murder scenes, the unbearable images of people being tortured, the heart-wren …
Not Just Walder's Books: A conversation about abuse and prevention
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2022-02-23 12:20:49
It’s been only a few months since the shocking revelations about popular children’s author, Chaim Walder, first emerged. Walder was accused of sexual assault and/or child sexual abuse by tens of women and girls, the vast majority of whom he’d been entrusted with helping. Soon after the abuse was reported, some store owners stopped selling Walder’s books; Charedi media outlets took away the platforms they&rsquo …
Whatever it takes
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2022-01-09 14:25:44
At a recent address to a group of mental health professionals, Rav Dovid Cohen shared his perspective regarding the very disturbing events surrounding the sexual predator, Chaim Walder. Rav Dovid made more than one point, but I’d like to focus on what I believe is the most important, most essential one. Many of us have become so caught up in the question of whether Walder is evil or not, or whether he was mentally ill or not, that we …
Face to Face
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2021-10-18 14:36:34
Soon after Sukkos, we are given the opportunity to study the lives of the Avos and Imahos. Some Torah readings are immediately accessible to us; others are more complex. In two consecutive weeks of Torah reading, Sarah Imenu is taken captive by a powerful king. This, after Avraham Avinu portrays the relationship between them as being simply brother and sister. There is, though, a subtle difference between the narratives. When Sarah is taken by Ph …
A Fragile Process
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2021-03-05 12:15:37
Around this time of year, we spend several weeks reading about the construction of the Mishkan and its Keilim/vessels. Moshe is, early on, instructed to build the Aron. He is then told to place, in the Aron, the עדות/Edus - literally the testimony. We are taught elsewhere (Melachim 1: 8) that this includes the Luchos - the two tablets, given to Moshe, at Sinai. There are two difficulties with the above: 1. Why doesn’ …
Is the Wheel just a Spiel: A conversation about personal responsibility
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2021-03-01 13:48:12
A number of people have puzzled over why some observant Jews seem unconcerned about contracting COVID and/or following medical recommendations, while other observant Jews seem very concerned. I believe that a key factor relates to a discussion, within Judaism, as to the relationship between two seemingly opposing beliefs. In Jewish thought, we are given the conceptual tools, on the one hand, to feel safe and secure, and, on the other hand, …
Protective Gear
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2021-02-21 13:07:15
There are lessons nestled not only in what the Torah tells us, but how the Torah speaks to us. A prime example occurs around this time of year, when we read the detailed instructions for fabricating the Bigdei Kehunah – Priestly Garments. One of those garments is the Me’il, a poncho of sorts, that is worn underneath the Ephod - Apron. The most salient features of the Me’il are its shape, its brilliant blue pig …
Frum Fatigue
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2020-12-02 19:33:30
There’s a thought that’s been percolating inside of me. Most recently, it was activated by the surprising response of large segments of the Frum/Orthodox community, to the COVID crisis. The thought actually starts with a question: Why is it that a good many of the most observant members of our community seem almost allergic to rules that broader society tends to abide? In particular, why do a large number of Frum Jews make …
Just in Time!
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2020-11-15 14:46:05
Author’s note: The privacy and confidentiality of individuals found in this narrative was safeguarded, by modifying identifying details. Mordy, a 40-something father of three, has been meeting with me, for about a year. We focus on issues of intimacy, productivity, and accountability. His wife, Leah, works downtown, in an executive position. Mordy’s graphic design job allows him to work part-time from home. He is pr …
The Pain of an Individual
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2020-07-09 11:01:16
Author’s note: The privacy and confidentiality of individuals found in this narrative was safeguarded, by modifying identifying details. It didn’t dawn on me the first week of the shutdown, or even the second or third week. The pandemic had shuttered our schools and synagogues for more than a month, before I recalled my earlier conversation with Hank. Hank is a bright, sensitive young man. …
When Pandemic Leads to Abandonment
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2020-06-05 14:14:30
COVID-19 has turned our lives upside down. It’s killed many and sickened many more. The safety measures adopted to limit the spread of the coronavirus have greatly restricted our freedom of movement, shutting down community events, family visits, and play dates. Government-based restrictions have, until recently, shuttered businesses, schools, and houses of worship. Not surprisingly, the COVID-19 crisis also impacts on ou …
A Wordless Paradox
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2020-05-03 21:17:38
I can’t be boxed in. I may show attraction or revulsion. I broadcast power, alongside of vulnerability. I contribute, in equal measure, to comfort and tension. I am handmaiden of acceptance, but also weapon of disapproval. I can express submission or defiance, respect or disdain, connection or detachment. I am bright, when golden; dark, when guarding secrets of the grave. I am fence around wisdom, yet marker of incapacity. I accompany heart …
Hallowed Grounds and Suffering: Part 4
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2020-03-16 22:40:27
A brief note on timing: The foundations to this series, on suffering, were laid months, even years before I started posting. I don’t believe that I or anyone else could have foreseen the uncertainly, the fear, and the disruption that accompany COVID-19, the new coronavirus, as it spreads across the world. As I review parts of this, the last installment, I read new meaning into such sections as those that describe Hagbalah – the …
Hallowed Grounds and Suffering: Part 3
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2020-03-11 12:51:03
In the last post, I introduced a Chassidic approach to Hallowed Grounds in which holiness allows for vulnerability. The converse is also true; vulnerability oftentimes precedes and leads to holiness. Let’s start with an illustration: …
Hallowed Grounds and Suffering: Part 2
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2020-03-04 10:37:04
In my first post, I started a discussion about suffering and holiness. I focused on the narrative of Moshe and the S’neh to identify particular models of transcendence that lead to holiness. I concluded the first post with the question: Can holiness occur, in suffering that was neither preceded by choice, nor followed by a transcendent response? The pathway to answering this question leads through a particular detail – actually a comm …
Hallowed Grounds and Suffering: Part 1
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2020-02-26 13:19:54
It happened a while ago, but I vividly recall the scene. It was Yom Tov, and a middle-aged member of the Shul had, months earlier, suffered the loss of an adult child. Even from a distance, I couldn’t help but notice the sense of pain that seemed to radiate from him. The congregants sitting nearby tried to make conversation with him. He answered politely but in a manner that not too subtly conveyed his preferen …
Valentine's Day: An Orthodox Therapist's perspective
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2020-02-14 13:43:01
A number of years ago, an Orthodox Jewish teenager described for me in session how he and his friends “ditched” their evening Study Hall, in order to participate in a Valentine’s Day tryst with their girlfriends. Toward the end of his narrative, he grinned and wondered aloud how his religious teachers could not have anticipated that their students would try to “get some action” on this day. I co …
The bind of Avraham
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2019-11-14 14:23:35
The Torah reading, around this time of year, includes a unique and remarkable narrative – The binding of Yitzchok. It is a story that illuminates, first and foremost, the values of fidelity and sacrifice. A careful reading of the text and its commentaries, though, yields a bonus lesson. There is a clear illustration of how an individual can meaningfully address a bind in which he’s been placed. A bind is a situation that …
Alternate realities
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2019-02-10 14:49:39
Around this time of year, we read, in Parshas TeTzaveh, G-d's instructions to Moshe, regarding the construction of the Mizbe’ach HaKetores. In and of itself, the passage of the Mizbeach in unremarkable. What is surprising, though, is the timing and placement of this commandment. G-d had, in the previous week’s reading, instructed Moshe to build the other Keilim that populated the Mishkan. G-d also instructed M …
Forgiving G-d
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2018-09-17 13:09:29
On Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, while many Jews recite, in undertone, the formal script with which they ask for forgiveness, some might simultaneously be conducting an even quieter, personalized conversation with their selves. The personal conversation takes on a different tone and tenor than does the forgiveness formula: I’ve been reciting the litany of my sins for weeks, on end. It’s starting to grate on my nerves. I&rsqu …
Kiddush Hashem, from the inside out
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2018-05-24 12:47:32
A short while ago, a student I know informed me of a Kiddush Hashem that occurred at his Yeshiva. The administration found out that a local police officer who’d been helping the school with dismissal, for years, was about to retire. In appreciation, staff hosted a school-wide assembly in which they recognized the officer’s service and dedication. The event was videoed and widely shared on social media. In relating t …
Sister Jean
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2018-03-27 17:31:40
So, I am a Chicagoan, and I probably care more than most people about the fate of the Loyola Chicago Ramblers, an NCAA men’s basketball team that has reached The Final Four – that is the semi-finals of the national championship. There is, though, something (or more accurately someone) remarkable about this team that has much broader appeal. Any of us who experiences disability and the effects of aging, whether in hi …
You'd be better, if you listened too, Dad!
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2018-03-21 22:07:05
This post is a follow up to my “You better listen to your dad” post, in which I described an evocative parenting video, making the rounds on social media. The video is shot through the windshield of a moving car. It opens with a father narrating how his bullying son was suspended from using the bus to school. “Dad” demonstrates, on camera, how he now makes his son run to school. At various points, Dad sha …
You better listen to your Dad!
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2018-03-20 13:50:01
There is a remarkable video that has, of late, been making the rounds, on social media. The video is shot through the windshield of a moving automobile. The wipers are operating; it is raining outside. A father, whom we can’t see, narrates, as he drives. He draws our attention to a 10-year-old child, wearing a backpack, who is running a short distance ahead of the car. "Dad" informs viewers that his son …
TEAR DOWN THIS WALL!
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2017-10-09 14:01:44
The ancient Jewish custom of Hoshanos focuses our attention on crops, rain and vulnerability. It includes the act of parading around the Bimah, (synagogue's centrally located table) once a day, for each of the first six days of Sukkos (The Festival of the Booths), and then circling the Bimah seven times on the seventh day. The seventh day is referred to as Hoshanah Rabbah. The above parallels the manner that Joshua led the Jewis …
Find YOUR way back
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2017-09-24 12:34:51
As we stand in the midst of the Aseres Yemai Teshuvah, the ten days of repentance that stretch from Rosh Hashanah to Yom Kippur, many of us likely recall what we’ve been taught, over the years, about Teshuvah. For some of us, the lessons remain deeply moving. Others may be burdened by painful memories - the baggage of repeated failure. Yet others may feel unable to relate to Teshuvah, having been numbed to and by the proce …
A student's memories of Rabbi Aaron Brafman
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2017-09-15 17:23:13
Our class was not all that receptive to him. He taught us during an era in which the entertainment world placed a premium on being “cool”. He was anything but cool. He wore his feelings – even the uncomfortable ones, like sadness and apprehension – on his sleeve. He wasn’t anti-establishment. He couldn’t afford to be. As Menahel, he was part of the establishment. Our c …
A tale of two clerics
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2017-08-25 03:55:12
One lived during what could have been the best of times; the other lived through what was undoubtedly the worst of times. One blighted the religious life of a young student, in what had been the spring of his hope; the other cast brightness on the life of a young refugee, in the winter of her despair. Clive Hazell, professor extraordinaire, at the graduate school I attended, spoke with a delicious English accent. …
Bar Mitzvah Handbook: Part 4
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2017-08-06 11:17:30
(This is the last post of the series. It continues our conversation about being connected and it then it summarizes.) Choosing connectedness also means identifying who your friends are and forging potentially lifelong relationships with them. Choose friends who are wholesome, who are supportive of you and your growth and to whom you enjoy giving. Invest in these friendships. I’m speaking less abou …
Bar Mitzvah Handbook: Part 3
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2017-07-28 16:04:00
(In our last post, we began to discuss the importance of connecting. There was an understanding that we would not go into specifics, until – this – the next post. What follows is a conversation about connecting with Hashem.) Whether you understand the story of Bereishit in its most literal sense – that everything started a little more than 5775 years ago – or whether you believe in things like the Big Ba …
Bar Mitzvah Handbook: Part 2
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2017-07-20 12:16:40
(In our first post, we started a conversation about the ways that you are leaving childhood behind, and that you are now thinking in more grown up ways.) There are more factors that are broadening your horizons. Your body, has either already started or will soon start to grow rapidly. Your hips may get thinner and your shoulders will get broader. Yet other changes will occur. You will likely become interested in peo …
Bar Mitzvah Handbook: Part 1
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2017-07-13 22:27:01
This is for anyone who is about to become or who has recently become Bar Mitzvah. Mazal Tov! You are now an adult…well sort of. You see, you may be counted toward a Minyan, you can read from the Torah and you can lead the Tefilot. On the other hand, you can’t yet sell the family farm, or house, or any land for that matter. You are also not yet fully a Bar Onshin. This means that you will not …
Not even a target
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2017-07-02 13:40:40
“Gabriel” is one of the higher functioning residential clients I treat. He is tall and has an athletic build. Gabriel is articulate: He can deliver razor sharp sports analyses. (Decades ago, Gabriel attended college on a sports scholarship.) He speaks with sensitivity, intelligence and wit, on a wide range of other topics. Gabriel holds a Community Pass. He takes long walks, shoots baskets at a local park and interac …
Korbon Copy
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2017-06-27 14:34:10
Around this time of year, we read the Torah portion of “Chukas” and are shown two contrasting models of parenting. We encounter the first model, when the Torah relates the narrative of Aharon’s death. Moshe is commanded “קח/take” Aharon and his son, Elazar, to a secluded mountain spot. Moshe is told to remove Aharon’s special garments and dress Elazar with those selfsame garme …
Winnicott and the Wailing Wall
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2017-05-24 02:02:20
I am not the kind of person who cries at the drop of a hat. I have experienced, over the decades, more than one sudden, profound loss and have found myself almost unable to shed tears. My stoicism has led others and, at times, myself to wonder whether I was capable of caring. A number of years ago, I came across a history series produced by a prominent American Rabbi. One of his tapes (yes, it was that long ago) foc …