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Showing Results 40 - 80 (271 total)
A Nagging Problem in Marriage
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R DHL
2021-11-28 11:22:00
The Gemara Beutza 35b describes the halakhic status of water dripping into a house from a leaky roof, and if it is permitted to put a pot underneath it to collect the drippings. You can imagine this man’s wife begging him to get the roof fixed before Yom Tov (the Holidays), and him procrastinating. While we are on the subject of leaky roofs and nagging, let us take a look at what Mishlei (Proverbs) has to say about this: משלי כ״ …
Staying The Course - The Big Picture
Author: Esther Gendelman, MS, LPC, CPC
2021-11-28 11:10:46
One word encapsulates the theme of staying the course. That word is LIFE. If we want to choose life, we choose to stay the course no matter what happens. Sometimes, the course is filled with pain and grief while at others, there are experiences that elicit intense joy and we savor each moment. I might be a young child whose world changed when a parent died, or a special needs sibling was born, or my parents divorced, or I experienced …
Staying The Course of Therapy
Author: Pamela P. Siller, MD
2021-11-27 23:37:16
Patients frequently question their mental health professionals as to what action they should take in any given circumstance. Most want advice about marriage, children, jobs and coworkers, while others have concerns about other relationships. One of the most complicated of these, which can cause the most angst, and possible detriment, is the therapeutic relationship. ______________________________________ Miri is an 18-year-old g …
An Open Letter to Caregivers for the Opening of 5782
Author: Adina Segal, LCSW
2021-09-03 17:06:48
The month of Elul is the only time it is brought down in Halacha to visit the graves of departed family members. While there are a variety of reasons for this, it is a way to connect us to the full spectrum of the lifespan and to connect us to those who came before us. Instead of being a morbid practice, this minhag is meant to assist us in focusing on reevaluating our actions and priorities in our lives. In the vein of both teshuva and con …
The First Step Toward Change
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2021-09-01 20:52:12
Dear Readers, Welcome to the August edition of Mind, Body & Soul, themed “Taking the first step”. I’d like you to consider the many and varied ways that people take their first steps. A baby, transitioning from crawling and cruising to walking, is literally taking his first step. Until now he did not even have the capacity to walk. Children and adults, who can already walk, sometimes feel as though they are stuck in a …
First and Most Important: The Foundation Stone of Marriage
Author: Dr. Alan Singer
2021-09-01 20:52:02
The foundation stone of a building, also known as the cornerstone or setting stone, is the first stone set in the construction of a masonry foundation. All other stones will be set in reference to this stone, and will thus determine the position of the entire structure. This metaphor can be used in searching for the foundation stone of marriage. In my professional opinion, the foundation stone of marriage is TRUST. …
Why do We Hate The People Loved?
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
2021-09-01 20:51:36
Why do We Hate The People Loved? Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R The Recent daf Yomi (Succah 4b), quotes a verse (Shemos 25:22) that becomes the inspiration from one of my favorite sayings in the Gemara. וְנוֹעַדְתִּ֣י לְךָ֮ שָׁם֒ וְדִבַּרְתִּ֨י אִתְּךָ֜ מֵעַ֣ל הַכַּפֹּ֗רֶת מִבֵּין֙ שְׁנֵ֣י הַכְּרֻבִ֔ים אֲשֶׁ֖ר עַל־אֲר֣וֹן הָע …
An Open Letter to Caregivers for the Opening of 5782
Author: Adina Segal, LCSW
2021-09-01 20:50:02
The month of Elul is the only time it is brought down in Halacha to visit the graves of departed family members. While there are a variety of reasons for this, it is a way to connect us to the full spectrum of the lifespan and to connect us to those who came before us. Instead of being a morbid practice, this minhag is meant to assist us in focusing on reevaluating our actions and priorities in our lives. In the vein of both teshuva and con …
Emotional Well Being for Older Adults
Author: Douglas Balin, LMSW, MPA
2021-09-01 20:49:54
The Covid 19 pandemic has placed a spotlight on a long-neglected issue; the emotional health of older adults in America. Older adults have become a significant part of our society. Each day, 10,000 individuals celebrate their 65th birthday in the United States, and there are more than 40 million people over the age of 65, according to the Census Bureau. Peluso, Watts and Parsons, in their book, Changing Aging, Changing Family Therapy, predict tha …
Its Not On Me
Author: Tzipora Shub, LCSW
2021-09-01 20:49:45
My trusty 2008 Honda Accord was in the shop (it had been acting a bit less trusty than usual), and my very generous friend who was going out of the country on vacation offered me her brand new Toyota Corolla to use while she was away. It’s sleek, compact, smooth, and still has the new car smell. We were getting along great, the car and I, until it started telling me what to do. (I see some married people nodding at this point. You get it). …
Why Is it So Hard To Take The First Step?
Author: Shuli Sandler, Psy.D.
2021-09-01 20:49:36
Many of us know what we want. We have ideas of what we want to accomplish, we may make lists, or set goals. And yet, productive action often evades us. We may feel a gap between what we want to achieve and what we do. Other times, we may feel confused and unable to define what it is it that we truly want. How do we take that first step? Or rather, why is it that we often don’t take the steps to define what we want and accomplish our goals. …
Write Your Way Home
Author: .Yocheved Rottenberg, CJF
2021-09-01 20:49:11
Imagine I told you that I know of a therapist that costs about a dollar an hour, has a lot of availability and is surprisingly effective. You wouldn't believe me, but I'd insist it's true. Take out a notebook, find yourself a pen, and begin writing. Therapy has officially begun.
Therapeutic writing is research-based, effective and very simple. Once you learn to do it properly, you can achieve tremendous growth by understanding yourself, cont …
The Anatomy of Bad Middos
Author: Yehuda Krohn, PsyD
2021-06-03 14:27:30
Dear Readers Welcome to the May edition of Mind Body & Soul, themed The Soul and the Psyche. “Soul” and “psyche” represent, respectively, the spiritual and psychological dimensions of a person. Interestingly, the two terms didn’t always have different meanings. When the term psyche was first introduced, it, too, was understood to be primarily a spiritual force, one that outlasts and outlives the body. In pa …
Debunking the Soul Partner Myth
Author: Alan M. Singer, Ph.D, LMSW
2021-06-03 12:51:53
My interest in this topic dates back to 2001 when the renowned National Marriage Project published its study of 1003 married and single young adults titled, “Who Wants to Marry A Soulmate?” Three findings were enlightening: Ninety-four percent of never-married singles agree that when you marry, you want your spouse to be your soulmate - first and foremost. Secondly, eighty-two percent of young adults agree that it is unwise for a woma …
Scare
Author: Sara Teichman, PsyD
2021-06-03 11:23:41
Is your child a real scaredy cat? With every noise your house makes, he reacts by crying, hiding under his bed or in the closet. He won’t go into the swimming pool or to a friend’s house. Climbing in the park or going on rides at amusement parks – don’t even think about it! So, how do we help him become brave? We want him to face new things, to trust himself to handle different experiences, and to use his body …
Just in Time
Author: Yehuda Krohn, PsyD
2021-06-03 11:25:43
Author’s note: The privacy and confidentiality of individuals found in this narrative was safeguarded, by modifying identifying details. Mordy, a 40-something father of three, has been meeting with me for about a year. We focus on issues of intimacy, productivity, and accountability. His wife, Leah, works downtown, in an executive position. Mordy’s graphic design job allows him to work part-time from home. He …
Just in Time
Author:
2021-06-02 12:38:00
Author’s note: The privacy and confidentiality of individuals found in this narrative was safeguarded, by modifying identifying details. Mordy, a 40-something father of three, has been meeting with me for about a year. We focus on issues of intimacy, productivity, and accountability. His wife, Leah, works downtown, in an executive position. Mordy’s graphic design job allows him to work part-time from home. He …
Debunking the Soul Partner Myth
Author:
2021-06-02 11:00:10
My interest in this topic dates back to 2001 when the renowned National Marriage Project published its study of 1003 married and single young adults titled, “Who Wants to Marry A Soulmate?” Three findings were enlightening: Ninety-four percent of never-married singles agree that when you marry, you want your spouse to be your soulmate - first and foremost. Secondly, eighty-two percent of young adults agree that it is unwise for a woma …
Dear Brave One
Author: Danielle Dragon, PsyD
2021-06-02 12:33:13
Dear Brave One, Before you come to your first appointment, I think it’s only fair that I share with you how stepping foot into my office could potentially impact you for the rest of your life. There will be some real consequences to borrowing the name of “client.” And I know you’re not thinking about that now. You just want to feel better. But it’s only right that I be transparent about …
Couples Counseling in a Pasuk
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
2021-06-02 11:04:16
The Recent daf Yomi, daily Talmud reading, (Yoma 23) discusses the prohibition of revenge and grudge bearing: What is revenge and what is bearing a grudge? Revenge is illustrated by the following example: One said to his fellow: “Lend me your sickle”, and he said: “No”. The next day he, the one who had refused to lend the sickle, said to the other person: “Lend me your ax.” If he said to him: “I …
Scared
Author: Sara Teichman, PsyD
2021-06-02 12:07:13
Is your child a real scaredy cat? With every noise your house makes, he reacts by crying, hiding under his bed or in the closet. He won’t go into the swimming pool or to a friend’s house. Climbing in the park or going on rides at amusement parks – don’t even think about it! So, how do we help him become brave? We want him to face new things, to trust himself to handle different experiences, and to use his body …
The Anatomy of Bad Middos
Author: Yehuda Krohn, PsyD
2021-06-02 12:01:25
Dear Readers Welcome to the May edition of Mind Body & Soul, themed The Soul and the Psyche. “Soul” and “psyche” represent, respectively, the spiritual and psychological dimensions of a person. Interestingly, the two terms didn’t always have different meanings. When the term psyche was first introduced, it, too, was understood to be primarily a spiritual force, one that outlasts and outlives the body. In pa …
Conquering our Fears, Introduction
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2021-02-25 18:06:55
Dear Readers Welcome to the February edition of Mind Body and Soul, titled “Conquering our Fears”. Whereas anxiety may be considered a constant companion to only some of us, COVID has brought some degree of fear and uncertainty to virtually all of us. In this vein, I hope you, our readers, experience the following articles, in a soothing, calming manner. In this edition, Rona Novick walks us through the steps of providing …
We Needn't Feel Alone
Author: Dvorah Levy, LCSW
2021-02-25 18:01:59
There’s a storm raging outside. Finally, a familiar reason for staying at home. I’m sitting at my kitchen table, watching melted snow fall like tears along the sliding kitchen doors, while snowdrifts make mountains out of molehills. It’s been a year since life was disrupted by a microscopic enemy. It’s as if our world is a snow globe that’s been turned upside down, and we are still trying to find our footing. We&rsqu …
Dispelling the myths of aging and emotional wellbeing
Author: Douglas Balin, LMSW, MPA
2021-02-25 17:55:52
There are so many myths about aging that have become stereotypes, to the point that even older adults have come to believe they are true. Well, our mission is to debunk those myths and give you the truths about what happens as we all, G-d willing, become older. It is important, as these stereotypes frame prejudice against older adults. It will often result in ageism, which is discrimination against the older population. Much worse, ma …
Reassurance: An Anxiety Management Tool with Rona Novick's New Children's Book, "Mommy Can You Stop the Rain?"
Author: Rona Milch Novick, PhD
2021-02-25 17:49:51
Children are scaredy cats! They are anxious in the dark, may shrink from costumed characters at birthday parties, and even in their school and teen years have numerous worries about their academic performance and social standing. How do children conquer their normal or potentially debilitating fears? Sometimes, they outgrow them and sometimes the efforts of caring, reassuring adults are needed to help them move past the fear. &n …
My Fear That You Won’t Seek Help for Estrangement
Author: Alan M. Singer, PhD
2021-02-25 17:45:02
Estrangement is commonly defined as the intentional choice by one or more relatives to end contact because of an ongoing negative relationship. Primarily based on emotions, not facts, estrangement can bring unimaginable heartbreak to families. I implore you to seek help if the above describes you, as the numbers are staggering. Twenty-seven percent of Americans eighteen and older have cut off contact with a family member: 10% parent/child, …
Anger and Self-Care
Author: Adina Segal, LCSW
2021-02-25 17:42:07
Since the beginning of COVID-19, I have consistently been receiving calls from clients asking for help controlling their anger. With concerns around social distancing, less assistance is available to families. In my line of work, helping those caring for relatives with dementia, I see fewer resources available to assist with care. At home, school closures leave parents, such as myself, with little respite. When schools do open, the anxiety around …
Confidential: Psychotherapy behind the Scenes Gestalt Therapy: Empty Chair Technique
Author: Moshe Norman, LCSW
2021-02-25 17:32:55
Confidential: Psychotherapy behind the Scenes Gestalt Therapy: Empty Chair Technique “I can’t do it anymore.” “Therapy is getting to you, isn’t it?” “No, I’m not talking about therapy.” I raise my eyebrows. “I’m talking about living. Yoel had been the victim of abuse for two and a half years during his elementary school years. His parents struggled with their own marital strife, …
When Psalms Calms
Author: Yehuda Krohn, PsyD
2020-12-04 13:53:11
By: Yehuda Krohn, PsyD Dear Readers Welcome to the November issue of Mind Body & Soul, themed “The calm within the storm”. Let’s start with a basic question: What is a storm? Some would say that a storm is simply a meteorological event. Then again, the term storm is also used when a position held by one group is overwhelmed by members of a different group. “Storm” could also refer to a surprisingly strong …
Here is What Didn’t Calm the Divorce Storm
Author: Dr. Alan Singer
2020-12-04 12:32:38
No-Fault divorce was supposed to calm the storm of marital dissolution; well, it didn't. States that adopted no-fault divorce experienced a decrease of eight to sixteen percent of wives' suicide rates and a thirty percent decline in domestic violence. That is encouraging data. The Two Types of Marriages that End Some statistics are welcome news, but the “thirty three percent and sixty six percent” are not good news. Of …
When Psalms Calms
Author:
2020-12-04 12:30:45
Dear Readers Welcome to the November issue of Mind Body & Soul, themed “The calm within the storm”. Let’s start with a basic question: What is a storm? Some would say that a storm is simply a meteorological event. Then again, the term storm is also used when a position held by one group is overwhelmed by members of a different group. “Storm” could also refer to a surprisingly strong reaction to a previous event. …
Jews, Addiction And The Effects of COVID.
Author:
2020-12-04 12:28:41
She was a Jewish girl, very active in Chabad, in her late 30’s, with two teenage kids. “A very popular person,” Rabbi Avi Richler, founder of Chabad of Glouchester County, remembered. “I knew she was using prescription medication and that she had been in a car accident 5-10 years before. One day she called me and said ‘Rabbi, there’s no food in my house.’ I went to Shop Rite, filled the …
A Kitten's Cry
Author: Esther Gendelman, MS, LPC
2020-12-04 12:25:46
Sounds of helpless, pitiful cries kept wafting through my backyard window as I gently refocused my attention on the clients sitting in my therapy office. At the next pause, I met the owner of the cries. An adorable, little, black and white kitten looked imploringly at me, hungrily begging for food and comfort. Wondering if it was lost or abandoned, I fed it, held it and post …
Keeping Our Cool
Author: Dr. Sara Teichman
2020-12-04 12:24:48
There are many disruptions and interruptions in our fast-paced society, and we are all guilty of losing it at times. Though it is human to react to things, being reactive and being overreactive are two very different things. When we overreact, we lose it- literally. Not just our temper, but our sense of proportion, and control of our emotions and behavior. We lose perspective, and our judgment is impaired. We feel out of control in the moment, an …
Chaos and the Dysregulated Individual
Author: Evan Steele, LCSW
2020-12-04 12:23:04
In these troubling times, we hear quite often about how much strain the current environment places on our mental health. We can see this when we self-introspect, when we observe others, and in the myriad data points in larger society, such as the current demand for mental health services, increase in suicidal episodes, increase in violent crime, and maybe even political intolerance. Still, as mental health providers, we’ve also observ …
Dealing With This Depressive Dystopia: Ecclesiastes, COVID, and the Paradoxical Commandments
Author: Jefferey Singer, PhD
2020-12-04 12:21:42
Dealing With This Depressive Dystopia: Ecclesiastes, COVID, and the Paradoxical Commandments By Jefferey Singer Before you think there is a new diagnosis being hoisted on the public, please rest assured that “depressive dystopia” is my own term for how I view our current collective condition. COVID life has helped create a societal malaise that has pushed our emotional tolerances to a state of constant, uncomfortable su …
Community Conflict and Resilience
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2020-08-31 20:58:50
Dear Readers, We are six months into a pandemic that has impacted almost every facet of our lives. Many of us have emerged from the more extreme forms of lockdown and are encountering an outside world that bears, at best, a limited resemblance to the world we once knew. Simchos are being celebrated on a size and scale that seems familiar; yet not all of us can safely attend. Some of us have been able to return to work; others have not. The childr …
The Pain of an Individual
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2020-08-31 20:43:59
Author’s note: The privacy and confidentiality of individuals found in this narrative were safeguarded, by modifying identifying details. It didn’t dawn on me during the first week of the shutdown, or even during the second or third week. The pandemic had shuttered our schools and synagogues for more than a month, before I recalled my earlier conversation with Hank. Hank is a bright, sensitive young man. …
Jewish Stories for Self-Esteem and Personal Growth
Author: Tina Kahn, LMHC, LMFT
2020-08-31 20:39:48
Stories have always intrigued people of all ages. They engage and stimulate us on both a cognitive and emotional level, leaving us open to receive their deepest messages, whether they are how to achieve self-esteem, experience personal growth, or gain a connection with the Ribbono Shel Olam. Welcome to my storybook, which you can interpret and relate to on any level. There is a story told about a rebbe giving counseling to his followers. Th …
Resilience and its Pitfalls
Author: Fraidy Zeidman M.S. Ed, LMHC
2020-08-31 20:33:50
Resilience is touted by scientists as one of the prime ingredients necessary to navigate life’s challenges. Merriam Webster dictionary defines resilience as “an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change." We often look towards children, with their positive outlooks on life, as a great example of resilience, to understand its benefits. While the advantages of resilience are numerous, let’s look at the …
The World of the Family Caregiver
Author: Adina Segal, LCSW
2020-08-31 20:26:37
Shani is at her wits end. She is the only child of Holocaust survivor parents. Over the years they have faced a great deal of difficulty with memory issues, forgetting to pay bills, failing to take medications properly and not remembering doctor’s appointments. Her mother calls her several times a day, forgetting that she spoke to her 10 minutes prior. Her father expresses concern about strangers coming through the window. He leaves random …
Kids in Isolation
Author: Sarah Levy, PhD
2020-08-31 20:22:04
It started to spread like wildfire in Israel. No, I’m not referring to the coronavirus itself, but to the phenomenon of kids in isolation, or what is known in Hebrew as “bidud.” My daughters’ friends who lived in another city called to inform them of how they were preparing for a 14-day bidud after some classmates had tested positive for coronavirus. Some of these friends sounded excited as they described the mini fridge t …
The Face Behind the Mask
Author: Rachel Slochowsky LMFT, CSAT
2020-08-31 20:10:49
The Center for Disease Control and Prevention has stated that wearing masks have been proven to help protect us from Covid-19. In a world that feels so chaotic, unstable and unknown, many of us have been holding on to this theory. Just wear the mask and you’ll be safer, wear the mask and you won’t be exposed. As difficult and painful as this pandemic has been, it has brought to the surface something profound. Masks seem to be for the …
Building Resilience in Children
Author: Dr. Sara Teichman
2020-08-31 20:04:51
Do you ever worry that your kids have it ‘too good?’ They are carpooled to wherever, have their own rooms [well, maybe with one sib], and their own personal lawyer [you!] to help them deal with any issues at school. They have unlimited credit [your credit cards!] and by virtue of their very birth, are entitled to sleep-away camp and a gap year in Israel. How different this is from our childhood where we walked everywhere, shared a roo …
The meaning of ELUL
Author: Moshe Norman, LCSW
2020-08-31 20:01:26
Elul. It is a powerful and sobering time of year, a time for introspection, commitment and growth. For many it brings back memories of warm holiday spirits and long hours spent in shul davening and singing the heartwarming, seasonal songs. But for others, Elul has a completely different meaning. “I feel my whole body tense up as soon as I hear the words, ‘Rosh Chodesh ELUL.’ I constantly worry that I am going to do somethi …
Resilient Parents Increase Time with Children Despite Work Pressures
Author: Alan M. Singer PhD
2020-08-31 19:38:27
The “latest research” gets copious amounts of media attention as trends come and go. Remember way back in the 90’s when parents used to put their infants to sleep on their stomachs? Now, in 2020, you wouldn’t dare do such a thing! How about some years ago when large amounts of beta-carotene could supposedly prevent cancer? Now, in 2020, it’s beta-what …
Preparing to Reopen a Post-trauma World
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
2020-08-31 19:35:51
Well, it seems like it's finally happening; after all of these surreal days and weeks and months, we are starting to reopen. But how do we prepare for a post-traumatic stress-flavored world? With all the talk about reopening, we still find ourselves just as torn and conflicted as we’ve been for the past three months. Along with an ideological civil war acting as the icing on the pandemic cake. The only consistent theme of this COVID-19 era …
An Insider’s View
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2020-06-02 09:52:36
Dear Readers When we published our last edition of Mind, Body & Soul, back in February, the world looked very different. The coronavirus was still perceived as a far-off threat. The terms social distancing and flattening the curve did not mean anything to us. Most of us did not think of our country as having limited healthcare resources, from PPE to hospital beds to ventilators. Few of us imagined that the industries and vocations we once cho …
A Window Within
Author: Esther Gendelman MS, LPC
2020-06-01 22:39:18
Living with constant uncertainty affects us deeply. Our perceptions of ourselves are either strengthened or turned upside down. Our true values become evident to ourselves and to those in our immediate vicinity. For example, perhaps we viewed ourselves as hard- …
Am I Losing My Mind?
Author: Menachem Hojda LMSW
2020-06-01 22:31:53
Where are their BRAINS?!?! I am hearing that question now all the time as we deal with the threat of Covid-19. I have friends who tell me that they watch reports of the protests to end stay-at-home orders and think how could those people do that? Where are their brains? Others ask the same questions about those putting the orders in place. “Don’ …
The Gift of Not-Knowing
Author: Sara Teichman, Psy.D.
2020-06-01 22:24:28
Getting to know our children is a very gradual process and an imperfect one as well. Though parents vary in their ability to read their children—some of us do better than others—there is no fool-proof way to know what another is thinking or feeling, even if that someone is our child. In general, a parent who has a high EQ (Emotional Intelligence) who is self-aware and attuned to their own thoughts, feelings, motivation, and behavior h …
Why Do We Find It So Hard to Wait?
Author: Chana Mark LCSW
2020-06-01 22:18:25
“When will this be over?” “I am running out of patience with the kids. It’s too much.” “They say the state is re-opening soon. Then what?” We know that the Covid-19 era will eventually come to an end. It has certainly imposed substantial material hardship on many families. Yet all of us are waiting and waiting, feeling more and more worn down with each passing day. Waiting does not come naturally to us. A …
Pedaling with a Purpose
Author: Tzipora Shub, LCSW
2020-06-01 22:13:56
It’s a well-known fact that the sorry fate of most eagerly purchased exercise bikes is to end up as a glorified clothing hanger—and not just for the clean clothing. In having pondered this life’s mystery at length, I have come to the conclusion that one potential reason for this is the futility of the activity of pedaling on a stationary bike. The idea of working so hard and getting nowhere fast, seems to go against the nature o …
RESOURCES ON COVID19
Author: NEFESH
2020-03-08 15:42:08
Dear NEFESH Community, There are many resources available to help navigate the coronavirus. Below are links to a number of them which you may find useful. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ADD ANY RESOURCES IN THE COMMENTS BELOW. We wish a refuah shelaima to all those who are ill, refuas Hanefesh and refuas Haguf. Rabbi Dr. Fox Lecture Rabbi Dr. Fox Lecture 2 Dr. Aaron Glatt and Dr. Norman Blumenthal (Ohel) https://www.yutorah.org/lectur …
Thriving Relationships
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2020-02-27 20:39:47
Dear Readers, Welcome to the newest edition of Mind, Body & Soul. Its theme is Surviving and Thriving. In this issue, we consider the lifelong journey from simply surviving to actually thriving. Sara Teichman points us toward a form of empathy that supports our children when they face bullying and teasing. Rachel Roshenholtz reminds us to model resilience for our children. Eitan Zerykier provides us with tools and meditations to ge …
Two Ways to Experience Uncertainty, Doubt & Other Sticky Thoughts
Author: EITAN ZERYKIER, LCSW
2020-02-27 20:30:33
Will you have enough money for retirement? How long will your loved ones live? Will it rain on the day you planned your vacation? Will your next project be a failure? Did you choose the right career? What if you had gone to a different university? Should you have made that investment? Are you really married to the right person? What is it like to try and think about the past and the future? Are you feeling anxious just by reading these ques …
Building Resilience
Author: Sara Teichman, PsyD
2020-02-27 20:16:08
Your five-year-old comes home and says that the other kids say he is fat. He is big—tall and muscular. He also is chubby in the way that many adults might find lovable—the teddy bear effect. The point is he is way bigger than his friends. He does not look five. But you are not worried per se as he and his older brothers take after your husband who is over six feet. The pediatrician feels confident that his weight will adjust, just lik …
Survive versus Thrive
Author: Pamela Siller, MD
2020-02-27 20:20:43
The Merriam Webster dictionary defines survival as “to remain alive or in existence.” This requires the very basic necessities of life, such as food, water, oxygen, shelter, and sleep. However, humans are quite complex beings; they may be able to survive with when their fundamental needs are met, but they require far more in order to thrive. Thrive, as defined by the Merriam Webster dictionary, encompasses “flourish, prosper, an …
SUCCESS!!! How to help your child survive and thrive in challenging situations
Author: Rachel Rosenholtz, LCSW-R
2020-02-27 20:05:47
“I can’t do it!” “Sure you can, honey; you’re great at this.” “I’m so dumb.” “No, you’re not. You’re one of the smartest kids in your class, your teacher even told me so.” Sound familiar? Have you ever wondered, “Why does my c …
Are you Ready to Fly?
Author: Dodi Lamm
2020-02-27 19:55:01
Have you ever asked yourself, “I’m at a transition point in my life, where do I go from here?” As a therapist, I have many clients who are at this point in my life. They are stuck about next steps. Sheila has come to therapy to talk about her sadness. She sits across from me and appears forlorn. There is a pallor to her face, she is plain-looking, and her speech lacks inflection. In fact, there is sadness in her eyes. She looks …
SUCCESSFUL “EMOTIONAL” RETIREMENT
Author: Douglas Balin, LMSW, MPA.
2020-02-27 19:45:13
Google retirement and you will receive literally thousands of sites focusing on the financial issues facing retirees. Financial security is definitely a very important aspect of retirement but not the only one and perhaps not even the most critical for a happy retirement. For the person who is either preparing for retirement or who is already retired, the emotional and mental health of the golden years can define the success or failure of th …
Empowering Ourselves
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2019-11-30 22:56:54
Dear Readers: Welcome to the newest edition of Mind Body & Soul. Its theme is. Power is an evocative term, an emotion-laden concept. Allow me to illustrate: Have you ever been in the presence of a powerful person? How did you come to know that they were powerful? Did you feel as though their power was supporting you, that some of their power might even be flowing through you, making you stronger? Alternatively, were you painfully aware of hav …
Taking Responsibility
Author: Sara Teichman, PsyD
2019-11-30 22:43:47
Taking responsibility—for our attitudes, actions, and behavior—is a sign of maturity and good mental health. So, while we can understand that a five-year-old denies taking a cookie when his face is covered with crumbs, we are less forgiving of the adolescent who cheats on a test because “all his friends do.” As we mature, we develop more of an internal locus of control, (i.e. the understanding that our behavior is the resu …
Empowerment
Author: Pamela Siller, MD
2019-11-30 22:20:02
“To be empowered you have to know what you want for your life and why. Without some degree of personal empowerment, your life will live you. Nothing changes unless you change it. No matter what you’re seeking it can only happen if you do something about it” (The Startup) Some children are lucky enough to grow up with parents who are nurturing and supportive. They teach their children from a young age that they can accomplish the …
Addiction Challenges a Parent’s Love
Author: Alberta Montano-DiFabio
2019-11-30 22:10:36
In my present life, I welcome the opportunity to write on the topic of addiction, but this was not always the case. Life experiences, knowledge, and the healing of time have brought a clarity of thought and feelings to be shared. For some, this article may provide an opportunity to experience an inside view on addiction as well as new information and insight on the effect of addiction on families with a focus on how it challenges a parent’s …
Narcissism: Self Love Disordered
Author: Dvorah Levy, LCSW
2019-11-30 22:05:17
In the last edition of The Jewish Press’s Mind, Body and Soul, I published an article on attachment templates. In my article, I described a woman struggling to heal from a narcissistic relationship with her ex-husband only to find herself drawn to narcissists when she began dating again. In response, multiple individuals reached out to me wanting to talk about their relationship with a narcissist. Due to the interest this sparked, I thought …
Are Positive-Thinking Gurus Snake Oil Salespeople?
Author: Benjamin Halpern, LCSW
2019-11-30 21:54:03
There are so many gurus who talk about positive thinking. They teach that everything is essentially positive. You need to recognize that everything is great and rosy, if you don’t then you are not thinking positively, and you will not have the happy life that you desire. This is taken even a step further, that if you don’t see something as positive, you make it become negative; you are in control and responsible for all the negativity …
Caring for an Invisible Illness
Author:
2019-11-30 21:22:23
I once had an ingrown toenail which got removed but kept coming back. So, I went to my foot doctor to treat it. As I was sitting on the reclined chair, he sprayed a saline solution, which numbed my toe and allowed him to work on it without causing me an ounce of pain. He finished his job, but I couldn’t wear my regular shoe, as my toe had swelled from the injection. And so, I was given a boot to wear for two days. I was a bit embarrassed to …
Living in Real Time
Author: Eitan Zerykier
2019-11-29 11:49:45
What is it like when you cannot find an item that you need, your child whines, or you see someone toss an entire meal’s worth of McDonald’s wrappers and soda bottles out their window? Frustrating, annoying, and disgusting? Our brain automatically sends us messages in response to what we see, hear, or experience around us. What we do next defines how we live our lives. No one will remember what you were thinking, only how you behaved. …
Coming Full Circle
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2019-08-30 14:44:03
In one of my early graduate classes, our professor posed the following question, “Given that so much of our existence touches on cycles—night and day, the seasons of the year, evaporation and rainfall, to name but a few—is there anything that can be described as linear?” One brave student volunteered the answer that human life is linear: a child is born, they mature, become an adult, begin to age, and then they die. Our pr …
Attachments
Author: Pamela Siller, MD
2019-08-30 14:36:25
Shoshana couldn’t wait to grab a cup of coffee with Perel, her childhood friend. As they had known each other since preschool, there was no need for pretense or presumption. Along with a steaming mug, the familiarity and acceptance was almost medicinal. There was so much waiting to be discussed: a controlling boyfriend, a demeaning supervisor, needy parents and intrusive friends. Shoshana could not understand why her interpersonal rel …
Precious Memories
Author: Rabbi Joshua Marder, MA, LMFT
2019-08-30 14:28:04
Relationship Insight: Research and experience teach us that children need to feel safe, secure, and comfortable within themselves and the environment around them. To accomplish this security, they seek proximity to their parents or other caregivers. As adults, we also need to feel safe, secure, and comfortable in our environment and within ourselves. And we also seek out safety, security, and comfort from our loved ones. As adults, we learn …
How Sowing in Tears Reaps in Joy
Author: Rabbi Joshua Marder, MA, LMFT
2019-08-30 14:26:16
Relationship Insight: I told my wife I was going to bed early last Tuesday night. I was wrong. At 10:30 pm, my anticipated bedtime, I found myself in the car taking one of my kids to the ER. It was a beautiful and extremely unpleasant experience. No one enjoys seeing their loved one in pain, and no parent—especially me—enjoys missing their bedtime, but those painful moments are often precious moments. Furtherm …
The Power of Attachment Templates
Author: Dvorah Levy, LCSW
2019-08-30 14:20:26
What makes us attracted to one person over another? What happens when we are continuously drawn to a personality type that we know is not good for us? Is attraction, and subsequently attachment, in relation to a significant other a conscious or unconscious process? The answer to these questions lies in an understanding of attachment templates. This understanding can make a big difference in determining who we choose to be in a relationship with. …
Forgiving Hashem
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2019-08-30 14:15:58
The month of Elul is almost upon us. From the end of Elul through Yom Kippur, while many Jews recite, in an undertone, the formal script with which they seek forgiveness, some might simultaneously be conducting an even quieter, conversation with themselves. The personal conversation takes on a different tone and tenor than the forgiveness formula: I’ve been reciting the litany of my sins for weeks on end. It’s starting to grate on my …
Connecting With Resilience
Author: Menachem Hojda LMSW CCTP
2019-08-29 21:08:38
Eighty years ago, in the summer of 1939, fear and anticipation gripped the world. In London, government officials grappled with the difficult question of how to keep children safe during the expected bombing of London by the Nazis. The plan that was conceived involved loading thousands of children, with notes pinned to their clothing recording their identification and essential information, onto trains which carried them into the British countrys …
Your Spotlight and How to Use it
Author:
2019-06-03 10:05:23
Your Spotlight and How to Use It By: Eitan Zerykier If the human mind is truly an unstoppable thought-machine, what good is it anyway? Have you ever watched a show or movie and without noticing, suddenly felt excited or found yourself crying? Or after it ended, you realized how engrossed you were and suddenly snapped back to reality? After watching a comedy, you may feel happier and lighter than before it began. Many have said …
Do I Apologize to My Child?
Author:
2019-06-03 10:01:08
By: Sara Teichman This question was a no-brainer to our grandparents and perhaps our parents as well. Parents were thought to be always in the right. The very idea of them apologizing was considered ludicrous, to say the least. Yet, the ability to apologize is critical in all human relationships. Let’s face it: in close relationships there are inevitably little breaches and breaks. However, by apologizing we mend the tears and strengthen th …
Building Healthy Relationships
Author:
2019-06-03 09:54:42
By: Pamela Siller What is a relationship? A relationship is defined as the way in which two or more people behave towards each other. Most of us relate to multitudes of people—consisting of all ages, races, creeds, roles, and socio-economic stations—during our daily lives. Just as no two people are alike, no two relationships are exactly the same. When asked what constitutes a positive or healthy relationship, many …