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Showing Results 160 - 200 (271 total)
Choose a Therapist Wisely
Author:
2017-11-28 12:12:51
By Michael J. Salamon, Ph.D. A recent report from ABC News Australia validates what those of us in the field already know, “Poorly trained relationship counsellors (are) doing more harm than good.” According to the Australian College of Relationship Counsellors, couples experiencing marital difficulties are turning to therapists who are not well prepared but are less expensive. This is due to the fact that, in Australia, less prepared …
Misdiagnosed: Overlooked medical issues and their effects on children’s behaviors
Author:
2017-11-28 12:12:48
By Rachel Rosenholtz, LCSW *Names and circumstances have been altered to protect client privacy He’s out of control. David is constantly fighting with kids in his class and taking things from them, often unprovoked. He has been this way since he entered preschool a year ago. He is defiant at school and aggressive at home. Leah has a difficult time focusing and following instructions. She often appear …
Sober Kiddushes and Sober-Brengens
Author:
2017-11-28 12:12:45
By Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D. Author’s note: The privacy and confidentiality of individuals found in this narrative was safeguarded, by modifying identifying details. Our session began, as scheduled, the Sunday after Simchas Torah. I waited for Moe to choose a starting point. He opened with “Well, Yom Tov was fine. It was really draining, though.” I thought I knew what Moe meant: There …
Being a Mindful Parent
Author:
2017-11-28 12:12:41
By Esther Goldstein LCSW How can you provide a framework for your children to develop into confident, solid individuals who can build meaningful lives? Let's take a look at the trajectory of a life. Children come into this world seeking safety, love, connection, and responsiveness. What matters beneath it all is that child know they are seen, heard, responded to, and reassured with safety. This way they can begin to trust that they are saf …
Parent Child Relationship Building: The Power of Praise
Author:
2017-11-28 12:12:31
By Regine Galanti, Ph.D. A parent was recently in my office to discuss her young daughter’s defiant behavior. She described noticing that, in her relationship with her children, she’s constantly busy with them, but rarely gives them her full attention, especially if they’re not misbehaving. As a parent, I can relate. My children take up almost all of my time, cooking their dinners, supervising homework, shepherding them between …
Emotions Of Loss
Author:
2017-11-28 12:12:27
By Dvora Entin, LCSW Let’s share a cup of tea: the emotional experience of grieving a pregnancy loss Bereavement doesn't really come with an instruction manual. Mourning does. As Torah guided people, we get the directions about burial, shiva, tearing clothes, where to sit, and what to cover, but the experience of what comes next is a bit absent for the grieving. Especially for those that have a less defined, focused period for …
Introduction August 2017
Author: Lisa Twerski, LCSW
2017-08-28 15:45:45
When it comes to childrearing, there are so many decisions to be made. One major area is schooling and all the decisions that go into making sure our children have the healthiest experience they can have in the place they spend the majority of their day. One of the reasons this can become anxiety- provoking is the fact that each child is different, and can require so many different things, depending on so many factors. More than one child can mea …
Choosing a Better Way to Divorce
Author: Alan Winder, PhD
2017-08-28 15:27:49
Wouldn’t it would be great if divorce didn’t exist, people were always happy in their marriage, and they stayed together for the rest of their lives? There was a time when people tended–for better or worse–to stay married, and divorce was not commonplace. Unfortunately today, as we are all aware, divorce rates have been quite high, and only continue to rise. When a couple separates and/or decides to divorce, there are cert …
Marital Compatibility and Communication and Why They Are Overrated
Author: Alan M. Singer, Ph.D., LMSW
2017-08-28 15:42:12
When one thinks of marital problems, two primary issues generally come to mind: compatibility and communication. Contrary to popular belief, compatibility is not something you have–it is something you create. It is about how you speak to each other, how well you get along, and how you move through time together. Rarely do couples call me for a counseling appointment and mention a lack of compatibility as their primary issue, even thou …
A Guide to Guided Imagery
Author: Marlene Greenspan, MA, LPC
2017-08-28 15:40:32
Today’s world is jam-packed with information via a constant and steady barrage on our technological devices that surround and accompany us everywhere we go. Our children, as well, are in the same predicament. PBS Kids, for example, offers an endless stream of programs designed to entertain and educate children practically from infancy. Using color and movement, these programs fascinate young viewers, regardless of whether or not they …
Consequences vs. Punishment
Author: Sara Teichman, Psy.D.
2017-08-28 15:44:40
All too many parents struggle with discipline. They will often complain that they have trouble making their rules stick, and busy themselves with searching for the “magic” that will make the process of discipline work. They may search for a list of punishments that they can whip out at a moment’s notice in the hope that that would get the children to listen. Unfortunately, despite ads and claims to the contrary, there is no magi …
Coping With Back to School Anxiety
Author: Pamela P. Siller, MD
2017-08-28 15:32:52
We have all experienced trepidation before a life-changing event, or a small anxiety-provoking experience. The feelings of butterflies in your stomach, your heart pounding in your chest, or the need to run to the bathroom several times in an hour, is a familiar sensation to most everybody. Regardless of whether you are worried about an upcoming flight, an important business meeting or a life-altering phone call, the physical sensation is the same …
13 Reasons Why: A Parenting Opportunity
Author: Dvora Entin, LCSW
2017-08-28 15:31:09
In a world where news headlines change dramatically at lightning speed almost hourly, perhaps the Netflix series, 13 Reasons Why, seems like an already irrelevant topic of conversation or discussion. As a therapist who had to watch most of the episodes for a work-related responsibility, the content of the show persists in my subconscious and continues to draw my attention even several months later. Seeing this series as a parent of teenagers, as …
LChaim To Life
Author: Michael J. Salamon, Ph.D., FICCP
2017-08-28 15:29:48
I recently saw a 12-year-old boy drinking bourbon at a party. He was making faces as he absorbed the burn of the liquid. I asked him who gave him the drink. “A friend,” he replied. “Do you like it?” I asked. “It’s uchy.” “So why drink it?” “I drink it so I can be part of their group,” was his honest, and very naïve, response. I followed him around for a few minutes and saw tha …
Looking Forward To the New School Year
Author: Rachel Rosenholtz, LCSW
2017-08-28 15:34:29
What is that deep feeling of relief washing over parents across the globe? Oh yes, school is almost here! As happy as parents were for the much needed break of summer, parents are just as happy at this point to wave goodbye as their children cruise down the road in the big yellow school bus. You are looking forward–but maybe your child is not. As the first day of school approaches, maybe you notice subtle differences in your chi …
Reward and Punishment
Author: Rabbi Dr. Joel Rosenshein, Ph.D.
2017-08-28 15:36:41
In today's day and age, there seems to be a popular belief that children should not be raised in the old method of reward or punishment. When we look around, however, it is apparent that many of our present problems with our children come down to our spoiling them, perhaps more so than in any previous generation. Although there is a need to praise more than to discipline, to reward more than to discipline, it is still essential to provide consequ …
Introduction July 2017
Author:
2017-06-29 13:27:29
By Lisa Twerski Embracing Mental Illness. The words alone must create some confusion and much head-scratching. After all, why would we want to embrace mental illness? Aren’t we trying to cure it? Isn’t mental illness something that nobody wants to experience, and nobody wants to embrace? The short answer is yes, we do try to cure it, but the realistic answer is that it is not always possible, and the long answer is that even when it i …
A Supportive Summer
Author:
2017-06-29 13:27:17
By Rachel Rosenholtz, LCSW Once again, another school year has come to a close. For some kids, the year was enjoyable and rewarding; for others, not so much. Struggle, frustration, disappointment, behavioral issues and failure were hallmarks of their experience. For these kids and their parents, the respite of summer vacation couldn’t come any sooner. Parents can become particularly frustrated when they know and believe that their child is …
Accessing Special Education Services: A Guide
Author:
2017-06-29 13:27:04
By Pamela P. Siller, MD There is a common misconception that if a child attends a yeshiva, he is not eligible to receive services from the Department of Education (DOE) within the five boroughs of New York City. As a psychiatrist who provides services for the DOE, I have been able to provide assessments in yeshivas, as well as in public schools. Consider the following scenario: Jacob is a nine-year-old boy who attends a yeshiva in Queens. Althoug …
On Choosing a Spouse: Looking for Love in All the Right Places
Author:
2017-06-29 13:26:46
By Elisheva Liss, MA, LMFT Selecting a spouse is possibly the most momentous decision that we humans make over the course of a lifetime. We are choosing our roommate, co-parent, romantic partner, teammate, and closest companion – ideally, for life. We live in an era in which we have more autonomy and opportunity than ever before in history, we seem to be more emotionally complex, and we demand more of our love relationships than in any othe …
Curiosity, a Blessing or a Curse
Author:
2017-06-29 13:26:31
By Dr. Sara Teichman Many a mother feels driven to distraction by her young child’s curiosity. Whether her child is into everything, tries to take things apart, or perpetually asks “why” – well, it’s enough to drive a mother crazy. Though there’s no denying that the curious child is a handful, curiosity is a very positive characteristic. In fact, curiosity is critical for our child to learn and grow throug …
Embracing Mental Illness
Author:
2017-06-29 13:26:14
By Chaya Blumenberg, LMSW To truly understand the impact of living with a mental illness, you either have to know someone who is diagnosed, have a diagnosis yourself, or have witnessed firsthand how mental illness can impact individuals and families. Take the journey of Racheli, for example, who has been diagnosed with “unspecified mood disorder.” Hers can be defined, not as a journey of burden and hardship, but as one of immense triu …
If You Can Name It, You Can Tame It
Author:
2017-06-29 13:25:57
By Dr. Michael J. Salamon The daughter of my patient* called to speak with me about her mother’s treatment. Her mother had signed a release at the beginning of treatment granting me permission to speak with her husband, two sons and this daughter, should the need arise. On occasion, the patient brought some of these family members to the therapy room with her. It was not uncommon for them to call and ask how they might assist in helpin …
Relative Connections
Author:
2017-06-29 13:25:44
By Marlene Greenspan, MA, LP Relatives come in all different ways. Some are closer and others are farther, both geographically and emotionally. No matter how mature some people may be, when they find themselves close to their parents, they may regress in behavior, attitude, and speech. Relationships reflect these connections and present as problems on many levels when grown-ups, without even realizing it, relapse into their adolescent roles …
The Power of Abuse
Author:
2017-06-29 13:25:09
Anonymous
The power of abuse
frightening and strong
leads to behaviors
irrational and wrong The power of abuse
the questions that arise
the multitude of thoughts
disbelief and lies The power of abuse
wreaks havoc on the soul
something is lacking
I feel empty, not whole The power of abuse
the drama that erupts
dealing with the abuser
the nightmare of the confronts The power …
Introduction March 2017
Author: Lisa Twerski
2017-02-22 13:13:44
When I think of the concept of “enhancing our relationships,” I think of two scenarios: either a mutual process where two people are working together, or a situation when someone is trying to improve a relationship without the active cooperation of the other person, someone who is working on themselves in relation to the other person. All too often, when people come in …
Introduction March 2017
Author: Lisa Twerski
2017-02-20 13:59:34
When I think of the concept of “enhancing our relationships,” I think of two scenarios: either a mutual process where two people are working together, or a situation when someone is trying to improve a relationship without the active cooperation of the other person, someone who is working on themselves in relation to the other person. All too often, when people come in …
Achieving True Attachment, Belonging and Connection
Author: Esther Gendelman MS, LPC, CPC
2017-02-22 13:13:24
A number of wedding brachos refer to the simchah of Adam and Chava in Gan Eden. At first, Hashem allowed Adam to experience the pain of utter solitude. As he named the other living beings and understood their essence, Adam instinctively grasped that they could not provide the depth of companionship that he craved. When Hashem created Chava, Adam recognized true kinship on a very deep level; he now found someone who could support and understand hi …
Laugh With Me
Author: Michael J. Salamon, PhD
2017-02-22 13:13:19
There are a slew of variables that have been assessed to determine what predicts marital satisfaction: Attitudes, personality, temperament, interests, life goals, and intimacy are but a few of the ones shown to contribute to marital happiness. One variable, however, is not often included, but has been proven to impact marital contentment: humor. Apparently, the use of humor, which things a couple finds funny, how jokes are told to one another and …
Mirrors and Therapeutic Listening
Author: Kalman Canant, LCSW, CSAT
2017-02-22 13:13:15
Exactly who are you? You are indeed unique, and no one else is quite the same. But what makes you you? Well, part of the answer is your appearance. Other people spot you in a crowd and recognize your likeness. They know it’s you. The way you look identifies you to others, and your appearance is part of your self-identity as well. How do you know what you look like, though? As part of the human condition, your eyes can only look outwards, an …
Relationship Rules: A Primer
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-02-22 13:13:11
In my practice, I’ve found that there are two aspects of relationships that clients consistently want to discuss. One aspect generally pertains to those who are considering a relationship and those who are in the beginning phase of a new relationship. The other aspect is usually brought up later on in the relationship—sometimes relatively early on, and sometimes after years of marriage. People interested in forming a relationsh …
Understanding Why We Fight - Sara Schapiro-Halberstam, MHC-LP, CASAC & Renée Beyda
Author: Sara Schapiro-Halberstam, MHC-LP, CASAC & Renée Beyda
2017-02-22 13:13:06
Humans are peaceful creatures… when alone. Once there are two or more people sharing a project, a bank account, children, a religion, and even a country, there’s bound to be friction. Just take a look at what occurred during the 2016 election. Fiery debates sparked at dinner tables and on social media platforms, caused friction within families, between friends, and continued to do so even after the results were in! Whether discussing …
Introduction December 2016
Author: Lisa Twerski
2016-11-23 12:38:21
When we look at others who are engaging in self-destructive behavior, the easiest way for us to understand what we are looking at is to relate it to our own experience, as we often have more compassion and understanding for ourselves than for the other guy. If I’m judging someone who has lost everything to an addiction, or illegal or illicit behavior, etc., and I’ve never come close to being caught up in anything of that nature &ndash …
Addiction: A Primer for the Perplexed
Author: Shimmy Feintuch, LCSW
2016-11-23 12:38:30
This ice cream is addictive! You need to watch this new show on Netflix. I’m addicted to it! The word “addiction” has entered our vernacular in a variety of ways. It gives us a way to earnestly, sometimes humorously, express that we are really into something, or that something is very, very good. I’m addicted to Shimmy Feintuch’s blog, Spiritual Sofa. I can’t stop reading it! But the truth about addiction is m …
If Not ADHD, What Can It Be?
Author: Michael J. Salamon, Ph.D
2016-11-23 12:38:41
Yaakov is 17. He has attended four different high schools before completely dropping out. His parents, not knowing what to do with him, had him visit to several different doctors and therapists over the last five years. All of the doctors diagnosed him with an Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). For many years, he willingly tried several different medications and combinations for the disorder in two different classes of drugs, and al …
Lowering the Temperature
Author: Sara Teichman, PsyD
2016-11-23 12:38:47
When you look into your children’s eyes, do you sometimes shudder to think of the parent you have become? Here’s what I mean: You wake up every morning with the best of intentions, determined to keep your cool and be positive with your children. But, like failed dieting, your resolve melts sooner or later in the day, when a child spills a drink, or you are late again, or there is just too much stuff for one set of parents to deal with …
The Effects of Teasing
Author: Marlene Greenspan, MA, LPC
2016-11-23 12:38:52
Teasing has many faces. It can be used to make jokes, it can be used to play tricks, or it can be used to hurt someone as offense or defense, to suggest a few applications. When children do it to each other, teasing can lead to bullying. In fact, teasing is really steps away from bullying, if the behavior continues and if it is becoming hurtful. When adults tease children who do not know how to respond, teasing can be very detrimental. When a chi …
Understanding Self-Injury From Our Patients
Author: Pamela P. Siller, MD
2016-11-23 12:38:56
As an intern and psychiatric resident, I was presented with a myriad of psychiatric symptoms, with varying degrees of severity. The patients, as well as their disorders, came alive for me the more time I spent with them and the more my empathy grew. To better treat my patients, I needed to understand their points of view, and I tried to see the world through their eyes. Depression and anxiety were easy to relate to, as we all have felt sad …
When Siblings Fight
Author: Sara Schapiro-Halberstam, MHC-LP, CASAC
2016-11-23 12:39:00
When we watch our own children tumbling on the floor, grabbing toys from one another, shouting, screaming, and crying, we put our hands to our head and mumble: “Oh no, when will this ever end?” Children will tell you the facts of the fight, “he touched my stuff so I hit him,” and so forth, but what is the psychological cause of sibling rivalry and competition? From an evolutionary perspective, there is a biological …
Introduction August 2016
Author:
2016-08-24 09:56:25
Dear Readers. There are all types of unhealthy relationships and many reasons why people stay in them. For those who haven’t experienced this but who have played the confidant to someone in an unhealthy relationship, it can be understandable, from a practical standpoint, why people stay, Perhaps the person’s reasons for staying in the relationship are financial, or maybe it’s the feeling that if one makes a commitment, on …
Healing Early Wounds through Psychotherapy
Author: Chaya Rubin, Ph.D
2016-08-24 09:56:21
Our very first relationships are the ones that we form with our caretakers, most typically, our mother and/or father. It is these early bonds that serve as a template for all our other relationships to come. As a baby, and then as child, we learn exactly what is at stake in our closest relationships. These primary alliances are instructive in representing what we can expect from others throughout our life, as well as what we are required to provi …
Love in the Face of Pain
Author: Pamela P. Siller, MD
2016-08-24 09:56:17
They may not want it. They may not know they need it. But you need to know better. Discipline. Boundaries. The foundation of knowing how to navigate through society. You may not think that this applies to children with mental illness. However, structure is paramount for children, including those struggling with issues such as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Oppositional Behaviors, Mood Disorders... t …
The Power of Apology
Author: Sara Teichman, Psy.D.
2016-08-24 09:56:07
We’ve all been there. A loved one says “sorry” and we feel uneasy and confused. On one hand, it seems ungracious to refuse an apology; on the other, the apology feels empty and insincere. Because the other person has apologized, he feels that the matter is closed. So, unsettled as we may feel, we let it go… and the resentment begins to build. For those readers who have trouble recognizing this pattern, visit any schoolyar …
What's the Problem with Marriage?
Author: Dvorah Levy, LCSW
2016-08-24 09:56:03
The problem with marriage is that our partner has the ability to hurt us in ways no one else can. We are hardwired to want to be in an intimate relationship with another. Our initial blueprint for attachment is formulated by our first intimate relationship, that of our primary caregiver. The messages we received as children around our worthiness, specialness, and lovability were reflected in the responses our caregiver gave us. Ideally, when we e …
Why Doesn't She Just Leave? Understanding the Complexity of Domestic Abuse
Author: Shoshana D Frydman, PhD, LCSW
2016-08-24 09:55:34
Imagine feeling like a hostage in your own home, unable to come and go as you please; always worrying about the next attack, even during times of relative peace. This fear is based on your experience and the awareness that, at some point, there will be another attack. And this fear takes over your life, and permeates itself into every experience and action that you take. I am not referring to what life is like in Israel or other terrorist-laden c …
When Expectations Differ
Author: Smadar Prager, CGP
2016-05-25 00:00:00
Mr. and Mrs. H. have an endearing habit. Every morning, they sip tea together and chat a bit before each turns to his/her daily routine. Their favorite location is their small kitchen table located next to the big window which overlooks the greenery outside and the neighbors’ houses. For the past few weeks, every time their neighbor comes out to hang her laundry, Mrs. H. gets this look in her eyes. She clicks her tongue and says in disappro …
The Shifting Sandwich Generation
Author: Marlene Greenspan, MA, LPC
2016-05-25 00:00:00
The current “sandwich generation” is both aging and shifting, and includes many baby boomers. As the oldest generation leaves this earthly existence, a new sandwich generation is emerging: those who are both grandparents to grandchildren, and children to parents. Many in this generation are responsible for any combination of difficult factors: elderly spouses, unmarried siblings, and parents who are not able to function without assist …
The Mean Girls
Author: Dr. Sara Teichman, Psy.D.
2016-05-25 00:00:00
It’s not just in the movies: The mean girls phenomenon is real and very much a subject of discussion today among professionals and parents alike. Unlike the boys who may be openly – and even physically – aggressive, mean girls use their words. They typically operate under the radar, far from adult view. And, no matter how many complaints there are from the other students, the mean girls continue to exclude, mock and/or tease, an …
Stopping the Stigma
Author: Bin Goldman, PsyD
2016-05-25 00:00:00
Mental illness hurts, but it is something acceptable, a decree from God that we can’t control, but that we can usually treat. Stigma also hurts, but it is not acceptable. The suffering that people experience from mental health problems is not limited to the symptoms of their particular disorder, but is multiplied and expanded by stigma. Our community can and must understand the stigma of mental illness and its effects, and mobilize to reduc …
Standing Your Ground
Author: Zahavah Selinger, LMHC
2016-05-25 00:00:00
What do you do when you have a friend going through a difficult time and is relying on you too much for support? It could be difficult letting them know this because you want to be there for them, yet your tolerance slowly dwindles until you get to the point where you are so frustrated, you remove yourself completely from the situation. Being on either side is not comfortable. Someone who needs so much support is likely not getting it from the ri …
How to be Part of the Solution
Author: Dr. Yaakov Siegel
2016-05-25 00:00:00
Lately, behavioral addiction has been in the forefront of the psychology world, and with good reason. Behavioral addiction covers a wide range of behaviors that can be devastating to marriages and to other relationships. When this occurs, otherwise functional people find themselves repeatedly engaging in unsafe behaviors to their own detriment. Oftentimes, they seem to be fully aware of the consequences, yet continue to return to the same old beh …
After Mother’s Day: Musings on Bereaved Mothers
Author: Dvora Entin, LCSW
2016-05-25 00:00:00
Historically, Mother’s Day involved a mother, her mother, and maybe her grandmother as well. Today, with Facebook, social media, and a multitude of blogs, Mother’s Day exposes us to everyone else’s mother-child relationships. We scroll through our newsfeeds and see photo after photo of mothers and their kids, as well as adult children celebrating their older moms. As a therapist with my heart immersed in the world of those who h …
Introduction May 2016
Author: Lisa Twerski, LCSW
2016-05-25 00:00:00
It’s that time of year again. Spring is in the air, summer is soon to follow. Everyone is out more, enjoying the nice weather. Children are playing ball, riding bikes, and maybe opting out of the stuffy school bus and walking home with their friends instead. Time to talk about safety. Have you made sure your children wear a helmet when they ride their bike? Check. Talked to them about not darting out into the street after a runaway ball? Ch …
Four Ways Psychotherapy Can Change Your Life
Author: Liz Wallenstein, LMHC
2016-02-29 00:00:00
Psychotherapy is built on the premise that if you are struggling with something, feel stuck, or are having strong feelings or reactions to something, it’s because there’s more going on in your life than you realize. According to psychotherapy, the problem you are dealing with is, in actuality, only a symptom of a bigger conflict going on inside you. Through expert-guided conversation, therapists help clients gain the awareness they ne …
Confidentiality: Not Just for Therapists
Author: Ilana Rosen, LCSW
2016-02-29 00:00:00
Chana* was clearly shaken when she came into session. After a childhood of abuse and significant trauma, she has been painstakingly working to become the best mother she could be. As a mother of five and approaching middle-age, Chana and I had spent months exploring her hopes and fears of having another baby. In addition to her therapy, Chana sees a chiropractor who gives her “corrections.” Recently her chiropractor, a …
Identifying and Selecting Your Career
Author: Michael Simcha Lax Psy.D.
2016-02-29 00:00:00
“My son, the doctor” has been the pride and joy of many Jewish parents back in the day, and has no doubt been a motivating factor for many “sons” who have entered the field of medicine. The goal: do something society views as respectable and make my parents proud. Today this trend has taken on a new face. It’s going for a degree in Special Ed when you’d be more interested in a career in interior design, or doin …
Managing Mood Disorders
Author: Michael J. Salamon, Ph.D.
2016-02-29 00:00:00
Moods are a psychological state of mind, and are different from personality. Personality traits linger, varying very little over decades, while moods tend to not remain rigid. A mood is best described as both a general and an internal state of feeling. People have good moods and bad moods, and these moods can and should change. Everyone experiences variations in their mood. If a person has mood shifts that are mild and the shifts occur only on oc …
“Overstanding” Your Child
Author: Sara Teichman, Psy.D.
2016-02-29 00:00:00
Is your daughter a drama queen who holds you hostage with her tales of woe? Does your son want you to fight his battles with the hanhala of his yeshiva? Do your kids expect you to provide entertainment when they bleat “Maaa, I’m so bored…”? Do you sometimes long for the days when kids were “seen but not heard”? In our rational moments, we know that we do not want to go back to that old mentality. We do want ou …
Parental Approval and the Adult Child
Author: Sara Schapiro-Halberstam, MHC-LP, CASAC
2016-02-29 00:00:00
“I don’t know why I cry... I cry because for the first time since I hated you, I remember that I loved you…” (Lyrics by Gwen Stefani). Adolescents and adult children often openly defy their parents’ wishes. Be it religious differences, career issues, or lifestyle matters, adult children make different choices than their parents, hoping that their parents will someday agree with the decisions they’ve made. When …
Understanding Dissociative Disorders
Author: Lili Grun, LCSW-R
2016-02-29 00:00:00
Emotional, spiritual, and physical struggles faced by individuals who come for psychotherapy frequently find their origins in painful, frightening childhood experiences. People whose minds and bodies are still in a state of trauma, or who are living according to childhood survival tactics and rules of cause and effect, often lack the skills needed to lead healthy lives and have satisfying relationships. A common defense mechanism employed to cope …
Finding Acceptance: Remembering Ronnie, Z”L A Tribute to Rabbi Ronald Greenwald
Author: Hindie M. Klein, PsyD
2016-02-29 00:00:00
The world and I awoke on Wednesday, January 20, the 10th day of Shevat, to the devastating news that Rabbi Ronnie Greenwald was gone. Impossible to imagine, since for so many and for so long, the world was so often supported and sustained by Ronnie’s strength, compassion and benevolence. Ronnie was a champion of the human spirit, a man who always sought out truth, goodness and decency. He was passionate about helping his fellow Jew; h …
When to Worry About Your Child’s Worries
Author: Regine Galanti, PhD
2015-11-25 00:00:00
Sam Cohen* is a bright 7-year-old boy who notices everything. If a paper clip is out of place on my desk, Sam is the first to comment. Though he’s always been intelligent, Sam’s parents have also noticed that their son has been a worrier for as long as they can remember. His thoughts often include fears like: What will the other children at school think of him? What if his parents’ car crashes on the way to the grocery store? Wh …
Nature versus Nurture: An Age-Old Debate
Author: Marlene Greenspan, MA, LPC
2015-11-25 00:00:00
Part of the great debate of nurture versus nature includes the question of: who influences the student more, the family or the school? How important is it for children to be coddled and guided both at home and at school? Nowadays, children attend school almost as soon as they can walk, starting with a toddler program at just two years old (or younger). Some families prefer to have small groups of children rotating houses with parents serving as & …
Forgetting Father’s Day: Perinatal Mood Disorders in Men
Author: Dvora Entin, LCSW
2015-11-25 00:00:00
As the field of maternal mental health is growing and expanding, we are becoming more alert to the shifting family dynamics as parents and extended loved ones welcome new members of the tribe. After the initial celebrations of the shalom zachor, bris or kiddush have passed and shortly after the first car ride home in the cute new outfit selected for just this event, parents are introduced to a completely new reality. Even as couples welcome baby …
Choosing Life
Author:
2015-11-25 00:00:00
They tell me that my grandfather loved life. I never met him – he passed away many years before I was born. But I've always wondered what it's like to love life. If I could just get through life without too much pain, I would be happy. Happy. That might not be the right word. Do I really know what being happy feels like? Satisfied is more like it. My childhood home was not a happy one. Growing up in the shadow of "the War," there was a lot …
Helping Children Cope with Terrorism
Author: Dr. Sarah Lewis-Levy
2015-11-25 00:00:00
As a neuropsychologist who recently moved to Israel, I have been inundated with questions from parents about how to deal with their young children’s questions and fears stemming from the recent slew of terror attacks. Tthe truth is that my response to terrorism in Israel is different from my response to terrorism in the United States. When I worked as the director of guidance at a school in America, I recommended that, for 9/11 memorials, t …
Facilitating Acceptance, Part II
Author: Kalman Canant, LCSW, CSAT-c
2015-11-25 00:00:00
The Serenity Prayer The serenity prayer is central to various 12-step programs, such as Alcoholics Anonymous and the other “anonymous” groups. Outside the context of the 12-steps as well, the prayer helps many people to handle daily life issues. With the prayer’s concepts, one learns to “live life on life’s terms” and cope with reality. Instead of using a substance, a process, or a relationship for instant grat …
Depression in Our Community
Author: Michael J. Salamon, Ph.D.
2015-11-25 00:00:00
In the United States, roughly 12 million women suffer some form of depression. Symptoms of depression include changes in mood, sleep patterns and eating habits, along with decreased pleasure in many activities, fatigue, agitation, feeling worthless, helpless and alone, and difficulty concentrating. Although not everyone suffers from all these symptoms, women who have some of the symptoms should get proper care. Unfortunately, only about half of w …
Building Our Marriages through Torah
Author: David Mark, MS, LMSW, Certified Gottman Therapist
2015-11-25 00:00:00
It is not uncommon for all books of faith to honor and respect marriage. In Judaism, two sources of the Living Bible were given to Moses on Mount Sinai some 3,328 years ago. Both of equal importance, they are known as the Written Law (also referred to as the Torah, the Five Books of Moses, or the Old Testament), and the Oral Law (also known as the Mishna). This article will share some examples of how the wisdom in the Living Bible can be used to …
All in the Family
Author: Shaya Hecht, LMSW
2015-11-25 00:00:00
As many parents can attest, oppositional and defiant behavior can be quite difficult to manage. I have encountered parents who are eager to develop behavior plans from our very first meeting, as well as parents who report that behavioral interventions do not seem to work for their child. While research shows that behavioral interventions can be very helpful in reducing a child’s negative behavior, it is also important that the parent-child …
A Parenting Guide for the Chanukah Frenzy
Author: Sara Teichman, Psy.D.
2015-11-25 00:00:00
You don’t have to be Orthodox or even Jewish to know about the commercialization of Chanukah in our time. What with too many parties, too much fried food, endless doughnuts and an abundance of gifts, the holiday starts to lose its meaning. The surplus of stuff (some families give a gift every night!) makes some children grabby and whiney, and liable to lose appreciation for each individual gift – and its giver. For the parents of thos …
Introduction November 2015
Author: Lisa Twersky LCSW
2015-11-25 00:00:00
Dear Readers, Sarah*, a single young woman in her twenties, was talking to me about needing to make some changes. She described an incident that she was deeply uncomfortable with, which she felt she needed to do something about. Sarah and her friend Tzippy* got into a disagreement, and Tzippy said something that Sarah found very hurtful. Sarah’s response was to break down crying, unable to relay what she was feeling and express herse …
Teenagers: Mission Impossible
Author: Alexander Rand, LCSW-R CASAC
2015-08-26 00:00:00
Raising teenagers in 2015 requires education, skill, luck, practice, and of course, prayer and God. Even with all that, it’s still not enough. We need more prayer and more God, and if you’ve ever raised a teenager, you’ll understand exactly why. Adolescence is a time when a child naturally starts to experiment with rules, challenging authority, and beginning to form his/her own identity. While that can be terrifying for parents, …
Raising Resilient Children: Rising to the Challenges of Today and Tomorrow
Author: Chaya Drucker, MSW, LCSW, ACSW
2015-08-26 00:00:00
As loving parents, we understandably long to protect our precious children from all suffering, risks, hardships, and adversity. Yet we recognize that this is neither possible nor ultimately desirable, since we will not be permanently available to serve as their shield against the demands and difficulties of life. Furthermore, we realize that each person’s challenges constitute a customized crucible, divinely ordained to actualize his …
Praiseworthy Children
Author: Shaya Hecht, LMSW, CASAC-T
2015-08-26 00:00:00
Praise can be a very effective tool in reinforcing your child’s actions. Many parents seem to be resistant to praising their child, arguing that: “Praise doesn’t work… I don’t want to praise him too much because then he/she will get spoiled… I sound like a broken record when I tell my child “good job” every few minutes…” and similar excuses. It is important to note that although …
Parenting a Child with Mental Illness
Author: Sarah Kahan, LCSW
2015-08-26 00:00:00
“Hello Yehudis, how can I help you?” “I heard you have a residence for adults with mental illness. My son, who just turned 20, is in the psych ward for the third time this year. I am no longer able to care for him at home and I am imploring you for help. Do you know what it’s like to have a child who doesn’t want to take his medication and doesn’t come out of his room for days, doesn’t shower, and on …
Impulse Control Disorders in Children
Author: Jonathan Bellin, LCSW
2015-08-26 00:00:00
When observing and diagnosing behavior in children, it is very important to differentiate between aggression and hyperactivity. Hyperactivity is not synonymous with being oppositional or aggressive. Whereas hyperactivity is a defining feature of ADHD, aggression is not. Similarly, a child with Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) is oppositional with rules at home and/or in school, but they are not physically aggressive. There are d …
Finding the Teachable Moment
Author: Sara Teichman, Psy.D.
2015-08-26 00:00:00
Many a parent believes in the power of constant discipline, providing further proof that “when you’re a hammer, everything looks like a nail.” However, in my mind, strong discipline is overkill – and subject to the law of diminishing returns. In other words, when it comes to discipline, more is less. Like any system, overuse may breed ineffectiveness and even resentment. And the last thing a parent wants to do is compromis …
Facilitating Acceptance
Author: Kalman Canant, LCSW, CSAT-c
2015-08-26 00:00:00
Life seldom gives us exactly what we want or the way we want it. Disappointment can be difficult for us in many ways, causing a lot of disturbance. The way we expected reality to turn out just doesn’t match the way that it does turn out, and this incongruity produces much suffering. Expectations are like entry ramps into our journey through the spiral of non-acceptance. We experience at least two stages on this journey, and enter into …
Can Two Wrongs Make One Right?
Author: Marlene Greenspan
2015-08-26 00:00:00
Two wrongs do not make a right, as the old saying goes – and this usually works quite well when parents encourage their children to get past a fighting mode. But in fact, two negatives do make a positive in the disciplines of math and grammar. So why doesn’t it apply to a person’s consideration of morality? Don’t the two principles seem to contradict each other? Math and grammar are challenging subject skills for many. On …
Introduction August 2015
Author:
2015-08-26 00:00:00
Recently a very tragic – very public – suicide has become fodder for countless news outlets, front page stories, blogs, and even more conversations. People who knew the young woman who jumped twenty stories to her death only tangentially, or not at all, expressed very strong ideas about what had happened, why it happened and whose fault it was. Everybody seems to have an opinion and something to say. When a tragedy such as this one oc …
The Power of Dreams
Author: Marlene Greenspan, MA, LPC
2015-05-31 00:00:00
Dreams come to us in different waves of experience. In the days of old, cavemen and women left pictures of dream fantasies; Shakespeare talked about his characters’ portrayal of dreams in a number of his plays. Today’s scientists have noted that individuals have different periods of dreaming in their sleep cycles, some of which are remembered while others are forgotten. Dreaming can refer to hopes that individuals have for their futur …
The Cell Phone Parent
Author: Michael J. Salamon, Ph.D., FICPP
2015-05-31 00:00:00
An earlier version of this article appeared on the Times of Israel. When parents ask me directly at what age they should get their children a cell phone, I generally do not answer. Despite the specificity of the question and regardless of what I say, parents make their own decisions, and these decisions usually fall into reasonably well-defined categories. Overprotective parents justify purchasing cell phones for their children while they are st …
Tall Guys Don’t Jump
Author: Shimmy Feintuch, LMSW
2015-05-31 00:00:00
No disrespect to sports fans, but sports discussions are not known for their wealth of theoretic wisdom. Certainly, sports are great fun, and the pull of professional sports has even the attention of the Wall Street Journal. Articles on sports are full of analysis and postgame hindsight, but rarely philosophical insight.
And so it was to my great surprise that an innocuous conversation about basketball turned up a philosophical gem. A child …
Mothers and Daughters: Open Communication
Author: Sarah Lewis-Levy, PhD
2015-05-31 00:00:00
In my generation, many girls found out–not from their mothers, but from talking to friends–about what to anticipate when their body changes. In the backs of buses, during private moments with friends, whispers, giggles, sleepovers, sleep-away camp–that’s where much of the education still takes place today. As Jewish mothers, don’t we want to be the one to impart the joy and holiness of our femininity to our daughters …
Sparks of Light
Author: Shaindy Urman
2015-05-31 00:00:00
You should hear the stories. My G-d, if only you heard some of the stories. The mother who punched her small child in the chest. The father who threw his daughter down a flight of stairs. The man who has nightmares, decades later, about the counselor in camp who violated him. Women who are afraid the moment their husband comes home from work. Newborn babies in intensive care, detoxing from their mother’s drug use. Toddlers left home alone f …
Does Alan Turing have Asperger’s Syndrome?
Author: Sarah Kahan, LCSW
2015-05-31 00:00:00
The recent release of the movie “The Imitation Game” is about the life of Alan Turing, who lived from 1912-1954. He was a British computer scientist, mathematician, logician, cryptanalyst, philosopher, mathematical biologist, and marathon and ultra distance runner. He was highly influential in the development of computer science, providing a formalization of the concepts of "algorithm" and "computation" with the Turing machine, which …
Can't vs. Won't
Author: Dr. Sara Teichman
2015-05-29 00:00:00
Do you ever wonder about your children: they can’t orthey won’t? Are your children unable, or are they unwilling to meet your expectations? Are they deliberately sabotaging your Shabbos meal, or are they not ready to handle the challenge of a lengthy and structured seudah? The “can’t vs. won’t” conundrum comes up frequently in child rearing. There is a tremendous difference between the child who can’t do …
Bonding with Our Children
Author: Chaya Drucker
2015-05-29 00:00:00
Since my own childhood, I have had a passion for positive parenting, for which I credit my mother, of blessed memory. Perhaps because she lost her own mother at the tender age of five, she did not take being a mother for granted and consciously devoted herself to growing as a parent, by reading and attending lectures. As a little girl, I would lie on my mother’s bed, poring over the parenting manuals of that era. When I was older, she invit …
Black and Beautiful
Author:
2015-05-29 00:00:00
I’m washing my hands mindlessly when I look into the mirror. Just out of habit. To stare at that annoying pimple, I guess, or search for blackheads that keep popping up. Something makes me stop. And stare. There is something… so symmetrical. I stare, and it is true. It takes my breath away. That skin is marred by pimples, it is true. Malnourishment and not washing enough and fluctuating body temperature does that. That hair is messy …
Introduction February 2015
Author:
2015-03-01 00:00:00
Today, a frum person has so many options to choose from about the kinds of mental health services he or she needs. When once there were only a few providers, today there are more and more frum professionals training in psychiatry, psychology, social work, nursing, coaching and pastoral counseling. In addition, specialty fields such as trauma, sex abuse, addiction, marriage counseling, sex therapy, CBT, DBT and many others have grown, and Jewish m …
Victim of Abuse or Just a Bad Marriage?
Author:
2015-03-01 00:00:00
Lisa Twerski, LCSW Differentiating Between Dysfunction, Disorders and Domestic Abuse When people feel abused in their marriage, it can be very confusing to try and determine if the cause is a dysfunctional relationship that may have some abusive features, a spouse with a mental illness, or domestic abuse. In fact, some of the abusive ways one may be treated by their spouse may be similar from situation to situation; what determines which type of …
Overview of Addictions
Author:
2015-03-01 00:00:00
Rabbi Dr. Abraham J. Twerski We know that people may become addicted to alcohol or drugs. There are a number of other common addictions: cigarettes, food, gambling, sex, shopping, the internet. Although addiction cannot be precisely defined, we may say that anytime a person loses control over a behavior that he wishes to control (or should wish to control), that is addiction. We do not know what causes addiction.In addition to psychological/emoti …
Mussar or Marriage Counseling?
Author:
2015-03-01 00:00:00
Chaya Feuerman LCSW-R Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R The frustrations people experience in marriage are actually opportunities. According to Chazal, when Man was first created, he was a double being, with two faces and two sides. One side was male and the other was female (Rashi, Bereishis 1:27). This suggests that a human being is not complete unless he or she has successfully integrated both the male and female aspects of his or her perso …
Getting the Help You Need: Who Can Provide Treatment?
Author:
2015-03-01 00:00:00
Hindie M. Klein, PsyD Beginning psychotherapy can be very liberating. It is often the first step in a therapeutic process that hopefully ends with a decrease in disturbing symptoms, improved relationships and a restored sense of well-being. Getting to that first step takes strength and courage. It requires recognition that there are vulnerabilities, problems, and challenges. It requires a true desire for change. A frequent question may ari …
Depression or Ordinary Sadness?
Author:
2015-03-01 00:00:00
Pamela P. Siller, MD All of us know what sadness feels like. Some may feel disappointment with a less-than-perfect grade in school. Others get upset after an argument with a spouse. Many of us have cried after a loss, whether a death, argument, or even a geographic relocation. Sadness is expressed differently by each of us, as we are individuals. Yelling, crying, and irritability are the most common reactions to loss or unhappiness, but so …
Understanding Assessments
Author:
2015-03-01 00:00:00
Dr. Judith Guedalia, PhD As a parent, teacher or mental health professional, we have surely, at one point or another, been bombarded with referrals to do testing or assessments. “Testing” may refer to every area in our anatomy and psyche. Some are physically intrusive, and others emotionally so. Most are expensive in time and money. What is the purpose for, and what exactly are, assessments? When a child or adult is referred fo …
Anxious? Or Just Jewish?
Author:
2015-03-01 00:00:00
Shimmy Feintuch, LMSW Being Jewish would make even a Buddhist monk anxious. There are so many laws and rituals that are part of our daily lives. Did you eat enough matzah? Is it time for davening yet? Or worse, is it too late? Did you say the words just right, or was it slightly off? Better say it again, then. Young children learn particular laws, such as those regarding hand washing, early, to form routines that will last a lifetime. But …
All Care is Not Equal: The Advantage of Treatment by a Psychiatrist
Author:
2015-03-01 00:00:00
Shalom Feinberg, MD But they are both MD’s… Moshe hasn’t been feeling well for months. He has a growing list of medical complaints and worries. His family doctor examines him and finds no illness to explain his symptoms. Moshe is no longer able to help his wife Leah with their children as he withdraws into bed whenever he is at home. With the help of a credible referral agency, Leah finds a competent psychiatrist nearby and cal …
Introduction: November 2014
Author: Lisa Twerski, LCSW
2014-11-25 00:00:00
In contemplating the theme of this issue of Mind Body & Soul, so many possibilities of what it might mean to “face one’s fears” come to mind, both in the general context of life, and specifically, in the context of mental health and mental illness. Our own individual circumstances are the not the only times we find ourselves facing our fears, or trying to avoid doing so. As a community, there are times when we must act colle …
Facing Our Fears
Author: Shimmy Feintuch, LMSW
2014-11-25 00:00:00
What is fear? Is it a monster under your bed, or in the closet? Is it wide eyes, thumping heart, panicked breathing? Is it dangling off a cliff by your fingertips? Fear is all those things, and more. Fear, at its essence, is actually a good thing. Our bodies let us know when we are in a dangerous situation, so we can act accordingly. Do you have an aversion to standing near the subway platform edge? Do you tend to walk faster through a rough neig …
Reward and Punishment when Raising Children – A Second Look
Author: Chana Mark, LCSW
2014-11-25 00:00:00
Many parents use a system of rewards and punishments to help change children’s behavior. This idea has come down to us from behavioral psychology as part of what is known as “operant conditioning.” This phrase is simply the following: Reinforcement means increasing the frequency or duration of desirable behavior. “If you go to bed on time for the whole week, I will give you a prize at the end of the week.” Pun …
FEAR: Controlling the Wide Spectrum of Moods and Feelings
Author: Marlene Greenspan, MA, LPC
2014-11-25 00:00:00
From anxiety to trauma, fear is a feeling of many colors. Colors and musical notes have a certain resonance or intensity that may vary with the emotion the artist wants to evoke. Feelings are emotions and also have stronger or weaker intensities, depending on the way a person is expressing those feelings inwardly or outwardly. Fear may begin with a mild feeling of worry or concern about someone or something that can escalate to the vibrancy of pa …
Coping Successfully with Stress
Author: Chana Simmonds, MSW, LCSW
2014-11-25 00:00:00
In the 12th century, the Rambam (Moshe ben Maimon, Maimonides), addressed the interconnection of the mind, body and spirit. He recognized that an ill person's thoughts and beliefs affected both his emotional state and physical experience. He did not believe in amulets, and yet, he wrote in his Laws of the Sabbath that a patient who believed that charms or talisman were healing should be allowed to wear them, even on Shabbat, because it mig …
Parenting Your Anxious Child
Author: Rachel Factor, MSW
2014-11-25 00:00:00
You have your sweet, intelligent, imaginative and creative child. A child who has clearly been blessed with endless potential and depth, a child that can blow your mind away with the most interesting questions you’ve ever been asked (which you only wished you could answer). The problem, or better said, the challenge, is that your child also has anxiety. You see, it’s part of this package deal. But there is good news; anxiety re …
Finding Humor in Everyday Situations
Author: Joel Verstaendig, PhD
2014-11-25 00:00:00
"A merry heart is a good medicine and a broken spirit dries the bones.” (Proverbs: Chapter 17, Verse 22) The health benefits of humor and a good laugh have long been hypothesized, and recent research has substantiated these assumptions. Norman Cousins, who researched the biochemistry of emotions, was diagnosed with a debilitating and painful illness late in life. In his best-selling book, Anatomy of an Illness, he related how ten min …
Bridging the Gap Between You and Your Teen
Author: Sara Teichman, Psy.D.
2014-11-25 00:00:00
Are you the cool mom? The mom who is young in attitude, spirit, and dress? Can you be mistaken for your teenager’s sister? Have you succumbed to the allure of Forever 21 or are you striving to win points in your teen’s eyes? Well, here’s the thing. Despite well-intentioned efforts to keep up with the times, many a daughter still sees her mom as irrelevant. Being young at heart, it seems, does not bridge the generation gap …
NEFESH INTERNATIONAL 18th Annual Conference
Author: Yeta Solomon, LCSW
2014-11-25 00:00:00
What does a highly successful, international mental health organization do after it has attracted many hundreds of members worldwide, and coordinated 17 outstanding conferences? It does what NEFESH International is about to do. It does it again, of course. NEFESH is proud and very excited to announce the Eighteenth Annual Conference to take place on Sunday and Monday, December 28th and 29th, 2014, at the Hyatt Regency in Hauppauge, New Yor …
How to Choose a Career that is Best for You
Author: Tzvi Pirutinsky, Ph.D.
2014-11-25 00:00:00
How to Choose a Career that is Best for You By Tzvi Pirutinsky, Ph.D. Choosing the right career can be a difficult and anxiety-provoking process. Will I enjoy it? Will I be good at it? Will it provide an adequate livelihood? Will my family support this choice? On the other hand, it is also an opportunity to actively explore and discover more about yourself and the world, so picking the right career can be exciting, informative, and even fun.
Do You Need a Marriage Therapist?
Author: Ovadia Trepp, MSW, LCSW
2014-11-25 00:00:00
For the purpose of this article, we will be discussing two distinct types of problems that impact marriages, namely, couple problems and individual problems. We will also be talking about two types (or modalities) of therapy: marital and individual. Like the handyman who needs to know the details of a job before choosing the appropriate set of tools, it is helpful to identify the type of issue you are experiencing before choosing one type of ther …
Transcending Adversity
Author: Harriet Cabelly, LCSW
2014-11-25 00:00:00
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” – Viktor Frankl Throughout life, people transcend their adversities in different ways; some people can go through a lot and be able to rise above and live well, and some people simply succumb to their circumstances. Th …