Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum On love and marriage and the joys and challenges of intimacy.
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Showing Results 40 - 80 (86 total)
Episode 52:Why Doesn’t My Wife Want to Have Sex With Me?
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2023-12-05 12:24:53
When there are desire discrepancies between couples, women are often identified as the partner with less sexual desire. Yet the experience of desire may be different for men and women, and the expectation that desire should be equally matched can create feelings of frustration and rejection. The right question may not be “Why doesn’t she want?” but rather, “What does she want and how does she want it?” In this episod …
Episode 13:Marital Conflict.When couples disagree about religion
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2019-05-23 09:28:26
What happens when couples disagree over religious observance? When one spouse decides that he or she no longer wants to be observant? Is there a way to reach an understanding? Join Talli and Scott as we discuss these issues on the season finale of Intimate Judaism! To listen to the season finale episode of Intimate Judaism click here …
Episode17: Let's Talk About Sexual Pleasure
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2019-12-26 13:12:57
Is sexual pleasure considered an important value in Judaism? What place does sex for pleasure have in a healthy marriage? Join Talli and Scott here for a frank and open discussion about these and many other questions. …
Episode 49:Sexual Compatibility, Condom Use, Defining Jewish Sex and More
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2023-03-30 15:11:36
In our annual Q&A episode, Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn answer many questions and discuss numerous issues dealing with Judaism and intimacy, including whether avoiding sex before marriage means a likelihood of being sexually incompatible with your spouse, how to proceed when you start off shomer negiah and then… you’re not, finding porn on your husband’s intenet history, coping with changes in libido, de …
Episode 47:Episode 47: Unmarried and Dating in Midlife: Navigating Intimacy and Sexuality
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2023-02-22 10:26:12
Whether divorced, widowed or never married, seeking a new relationship is complex. While each individual has his or her own unique experiences and perspectives, being unpartnered in midlife usually represents mourning for having loved and lost, or not yet having experienced the joy of partnered intimacy. Added to this for Orthodox Jews, are conflicts around non-marital physical touch. Join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum here in a discussion …
Episode 10: When Taharat hamishpacha strains the marriage
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2019-04-10 14:15:51
Many people are taught that following Taharat HaMishpacha – the laws of family purity – keeps a marriage fresh, and adds passion to a couple’s sexual relationship. Often, this is true, but many times, it’s not. Some couples find that Taharat HaMishpacha adds a tremendous strain to their relationship. Are there solutions within Halacha? What should a couple in this situation do? Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn speak wi …
Episode 46: Want, will, should or must: Is the sex you are having really consensual?
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2022-12-23 08:00:56
I want to, so yes. I want to want to, so yes. I don’t want to, but I know I should, so yes I don’t want to, but must, so yes. I guess. Numerous sources in Jewish tradition demonstrate that sex in marriage must be mutual and consensual and at no time can sex be forced or coerced. The ideal consensual situation is enthusiastic consent with mutual desire. In reality a woman’s desire for sex may be influenced by s …
Episode 6: The Wedding Night Episode
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2018-10-09 10:34:33
Many couples await the wedding night with anticipation and excitement, as they are finally permitted to express their desire for one another and to consummate their relationship. For some couples, however, the wedding night, and sometimes the weeks and months thereafter, can be a source of anxiety and distress, and represents an obligation they struggle to “perform successfully.” How do couples negotiate the transition from abst …
Episode 42: The Surrendered Wife and Marital Intimacy:
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2022-05-26 04:31:46
Last month, Orthodox Jewish journalist Avital Chizhik-Goldschmidt published an article in The Atlantic highlighting the popularity of Laura Doyle’s 2001 New York Times bestseller, ‘The Surrendered Wife,’ among Orthodox Jewish women. Doyle’s book provides a practical guide to marital bliss and harmony, suggesting that women stop being critical and demanding of their husbands, respect and trust them, regularly engage in self …
Episode 15: Teshuva as a Guide to Repairing Intimate Relationships
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2019-10-02 11:52:49
During the month of Tishri, we engage in a process of Tshuva; self-reflection and repentance. Through prayer, we repair our relationships and connect with God, with ourselves, and with those we may have hurt. In this mini episode, join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum as they discuss how the basic elements of the tshuva process can serve as a model for healing and repairing our relationships with ourselves and the significant others in our li …
Episode 4: Shomer Negiah: Navigating Premarital Sexual Activity and Jewish Law and Values
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2018-08-28 12:21:53
As human beings, we are wired for connection. When we connect emotionally with a member of the opposite sex, and experience attraction, and/or affection, the desire for intimate touch is a natural instinct. In society at large, this desire is understood to be moderated by social rules that include determining availability, and mutual consent and should include communication about boundaries and prevention of pregnancy when applicable. According t …
Episode 5: Sexual guilt, shame and repentence
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2018-09-13 13:01:11
Intimate Judaism’s most recent episode, ‘Shomer Negiah: Premarital Sexual Activity and Jewish Values,” generated plenty of comments, discussion, and disagreement. In this bonus episode, Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn address listener comments, and expand on the differences between guilt and shame, whether a person “has to” consult a rabbi before making a Halachic decision, the consequences of non-Halachi …
Episode 35: Sex positivity,sexual health and sexual rights. Are these Jewish values?
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2021-10-12 12:51:32
The World Health Organization defines sexual health as fundamental to the overall health and well-being of individuals, couples and families, and considers sexual pleasure to be a basic human right. In Judaism, sexual pleasure is valued, but only in the context of marital sex, leaving many people in conflict between their sexual health and spiritual health. Join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum here as they discuss the six principles of sexua …
Episode 25: Sex and Guilt
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2020-09-23 07:15:00
Intimacy and sexual experiences are so closely connected with a person’s sense of identity, and so seldom discussed in many religious communities, that they often are the source of tremendous feelings of guilt.
When are these feelings misplaced and when do they serve a constructive purpose?
How should a religious individual manage his experience of guilt?
Is there a way to reframe the experience of shame or guilt in order to …
Episode 37: Reproductive Health, Birth Control and Halacha
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2021-12-08 07:26:17
Reproductive health is relevant to all couples in their childbearing years. Family planning, fertility interventions, and the use of contraception are guided by values and Halachic considerations, and involve several other factors including financial concerns, personal and professional goals, desired family size, and relationship stability. Join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum here in the first of a two-part series on reproductive health and …
Episode 38: Reproductive Health, Birth Control and Halacha Part 2
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2022-02-08 10:52:52
Reproductive health ensures that couples can lead satisfying sex lives, and make informed decisions regarding family planning. Decisions related to birth control methods are generally guided by various factors, including health, convenience, cost, preference, and sexual or other side effects. For most observant Jewish couples, these decisions are also informed by Jewish law.
In the second episode of our two-part series on reproductive health …
Episode 2 (Part 1): Raising Sexually Healthy Children
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2018-08-07 04:28:09
Parents who are part of the Halachic community must balance the messages children hear from the outside world with the Torah values they are taught at home and in school. How can we achieve this balance so that our kids respect the Halachic attitudes toward sex, while also growing into sexually healthy adults? Is there a way to use media in order to educate? How does our use of language convey appropriate or inappropriate messages? Join Talli Ros …
Episode 3 (Part 2) : Raising Sexually Healthy Children
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2018-08-07 04:32:54
How do we give our kids the right message so that they will be able to experience intimacy in marriage?. What is the connection between growing up in a safe and secure environment, and the ability to experience pleasure in the context of marital intimacy? Why is it necessary to avoid judging our children, even when we disagree with their decisions? What do we mean when we try to teach them about intimacy? And how can our relationship with G …
Episode 16: Outercourse, wasting seed, and Rabbis in the bedroom
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2019-11-12 04:48:45
Outercourse refers to sexual activity without intercourse. Couples may want to engage this way to experience alternative lovemaking options, or may need to because intercourse is painful or uncomfortable. Does Jewish law permit couples to choose what they do in the bedroom, even if it consciously involves extra-vaginal ejaculation? Join Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn here as they respectfully discuss, and at times debate, this sensitive top …
Episode 45: Navigating Relational and Sexual Intimacy During Pregnancy, Childbirth and the Postpartum Period
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2022-11-14 12:18:51
Pregnancy and childbirth are profound events in the life of a couple. The physical, psychological and hormonal changes that occur to women during pregnancy and in the postpartum period can impact both partners and affect emotional and sexual intimacy. Couples must learn to adjust to a changed family system and a new identity as parents. Observant Jewish couples are additionally affected by laws that restrict touch during childbirth and in the pos …
Episode 9: My Spouse Wants Sex Less Often Than I Do? What Does Halacha Say?
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2019-01-08 09:31:59
Sexual relations are considered to be a meaningful aspect of Jewish marriage. Sex is a positive commandment for procreation, and it is considered a negative commandment for a man to withhold his wife's "onah", understood to mean, her entitlement to sex. (שְׁאֵרָהּ כְּסוּתָהּ וְעֹנָתָהּ לֹא יִגְרָע" (שמות, כ"א, י' Food, clothing and sex, he should not withhold from her A woman is expected to …
Episode 40: Male and Female He Created Them: Trans, Non-Binary and Orthodox Judaism
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2022-03-16 17:05:26
According to Jewish sources, God created humans as distinctly male or distinctly female. The roles, obligations and privileges of each gender are clearly defined in our tradition. Yet, not everyone conforms to the gender assigned to them at birth and some individuals experience their gender as distinctly opposite. Can Orthodox individuals who identify as non-binary or transgender find welcoming places, literally and figuratively, in Orthodox soci …
Episode 12: Monogamy and Exclusivity: Defining, Preventing and Dealing with Betrayal
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2019-04-10 14:19:57
Sexual exclusivity is a core value of Jewish marriage. Extramarital sexual contact – infidelity – represents not only a breach of Jewish law, but also a rupture of the couple’s loyalty and trust. While sexual intercourse with another person is almost universally considered adultrous behavior, how do couples define what they consider to be a betrayal? Is texting, having lunch with a member of the opposite sex, or flirting conside …
Episode 8: Marital sex-advice from ministering angels?
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2018-12-06 06:35:58
In the Talmud, (Nedarim 20a-b) Rabbi Yochanan Ben Dabai provides some advice about marital sex that he received from ministering angels. Children are born lame, he relates, because, the parents "turned the table upside down" for intercourse. They are born mute because of kissing 'that place' (the genitals), are born deaf because the parents spoke during intercourse, and are born blind due to the man looking at his wif …
Episode 55: Loving Again After Loss: Dating and Remarriage After Widowhood
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2024-04-12 00:30:28
Losing one’s spouse is one of life’s most difficult and painful experiences. The process of grieving includes feelings of loneliness, abandonment, and isolation. While grieving the loss of a spouse, one also mourns the loss of identity as a member of an intimate partnership and acceptance of a new identity as a widow/er. Well-intentioned friends and family members may urge those who have lost a spouse to “move on,” while o …
Episode 50: Like Fine Wine-Sex After 50
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2023-05-07 10:51:52
What happens to the sex life of couples during middle age? Does the familiarity of long-term marriage breed sexual boredom ? Does aging reduce sexual interest? What happens when intimacy is no longer mediated by nidah laws? Listen here to Rabbi Scott Kahn interview Talli Rosenbaum as she presents surprising research findings and insights that will dispel myths about sex in midlife and beyond. …
Episode 48: Is There a Modern Orthodox Shidduch Crisis?
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2023-02-22 10:28:28
The shidduch crisis refers to the phenomenon in the Orthodox Jewish community whereby eligible single persons, especially women, have difficulty finding a suitable spouse. While there are definite differences between the way dating for marriage is approached and conducted in the Hasidic, Yeshivish and Modern Orthodox worlds, there are also some similarities. Recently, a research study was conducted to better understand and promote awareness regar …
Episode 41: Is there a Jewish Principle of Pleasure
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2022-04-08 11:24:06
The Jewish “Pleasure Principle” Sexual pleasure. Does religion seek to minimize pleasure? This message was communicated in the recent Netflix documentary “The Principles of Pleasure” And to be honest, you don’t have to look hard to find Jewish sources, some in the Talmud, that do just that. Then again, there are also sources, some mystical, that glorify (marital) sexual pleasure and satisfacti …
Episode 56: Inviting Single Religious Women to the Sexuality Conversation
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2024-06-06 07:47:33
The discourse on marital intimacy and sexuality in Judaism has become a normative topic of conversation. Rabbanit Shayna Goldberg, an educator and spiritual advisor at Migdal Oz, a Midrasha of higher learning for young women in Gush Etzion, believes that conversations about desire, sex and sexuality are relevant for unmarried women as well, and not just as part of premarital education after they have become engaged. In this episode, we discuss th …
Episode 14: Intimate Relationships and Orthodox Singles
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2019-09-19 03:24:56
“It’s not good for man to be alone.” Living a traditional Jewish life implies marriage and raising a family. Sexual intimacy is highly valued, but only within the framework of a marital bond. However, whether due to the “shidduch crisis,” rising divorce rates, or other circumstances, our communities include many individuals who haven’t married, or are widowed or divorced. What are the experiences of singles in …
Episode 32: Intimacy Enhancement Products
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2021-04-25 07:39:48
Modesty, lack of information, and embarrassment are just some factors that inhibit observant couples from using products designed to enhance sexual intimacy. In this episode, Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum host Beverly Damelin, who shares her expertise in the field of sexual enhancement products and explains how they can help improve the sexual experience. Listen here. …
Episode 29: Intimacy After Sexual Abuse
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2021-02-17 14:11:40
Sexual intimacy provides the opportunity to express love with connection, pleasure, and satisfaction. Yet, for people who have experienced sexual assault, sexual violence, and abuse, intimacy can feel very unsafe. Being on guard, and sometimes checking out and dissociating, is what has allowed abuse victims to survive, and the idea of “relinquishing control and getting lost in the moment” can be terrifying. Rather than associate physi …
Episode 44: Infertility and Relationships
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2022-10-19 08:21:47
Infertility and pregnancy loss affects relationships: with self, God, partner, family, friends and community. In part 2 of this two part series, Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum discuss the general implications of infertility and pregnancy loss on these relationships and on marital intimacy and sexuality. Listen here to Talli and Rabbi Scott discuss this as well as the specific considerations for observant Jewish couples. …
Episode 1: Healthy male sexual development
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2018-08-07 04:21:45
While male masturbation is unequivocally prohibited under Jewish law, this prohibition often creates serious conflict and guilt in the religious and private lives of young Orthodox men, with serious long-term consequences. In this episode of Intimate Judaism, Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum discuss this important topic, and attempt to outline how parents, teachers, and children should navigate the dual tracks of strengthening a commitment to …
Episode 27: Frum and Gay
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2020-11-09 14:12:09
Harav Binyamin Lau, community leader, author, teacher, and former Rabbi of the Ramban Synagogue in Jerusalem, recently introduced a document providing guidance for members of the religious LGBTQ community and their families. This document is a collection of recommendations that, according to Rav Benny, “Do not permit prohibitions or prohibit things that are permitted,” but seek to pave the way to integrate one’s identity with re …
Episode 26: Enhancing Sexual Intimacy Using Ancient Eastern Philosophies and Techniques
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2020-11-01 13:38:26
Tantric sex originates from ancient Hinduism and revolves around sexual practices that focus on creating a deep, intimate connection. It is a meditative sexual practice that encourages people to focus on the connections between the mind, the body, and the soul. It is intended to lead to fulfilling sexual experiences and greater intimacy.
Taoism is a system of traditional beliefs from China. Taoists believe that when a man ejacul …
Episode 31: Consent and Coercion: What Does Forced Marriage and Obligatory Sex Look Like in the Jewish Community?
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2021-04-25 07:36:22
“Forced marriage” and coercive sex are terms that most believe have no relevance to Judaism. Nevertheless, in communities where marriages are typically arranged by parents and matchmakers, does the couple truly have the freedom to reject the match? And even in modern Orthodox circles, do young men and women sometimes feel pressured to marry when they aren’t sure about the partner, aren’t ready for marriage, or are uncertai …
Episode 11: Asexuals, homosexuals and more
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2019-03-19 02:54:24
Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn address your questions in this special Q&A episode of Intimate Judaism. Among the issues they deal with are homosexuality and Orthodoxy, Halacha’s attitude toward sterilization via tubal ligation or vasectomy, whether we should encourage our children to talk to kids of the opposite gender, and more. You can listen to the episode here …
Episode 19: Porn, Fantasy, and Compulsive Sexual Behavior: How Much is Too Much?
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2020-03-02 12:35:04
Our sense of self is largely defined by our system of values and spiritual identity, along with many other aspects of the self, including our physical, cognitive, intellectual, professional and relational parts. We are also sexual human beings, and are wired to be curious about sexuality and to develop an interest and longing for sexual expression. Religious sources teach that “straying after our hearts and eyes” is prohibited. …
Date 'Em Till You Hate 'Em: Bonus episode
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2023-08-20 09:46:12
Not since Yenta from Fiddler on the Roof has there been a matchmaker as famous as Aleeza Ben Shalom! Join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum for a rollicking discussion with the colorful, engaging and entertaining host of “Jewish Matchmaking.”Listen here. …
Crisis of Faith and Post Traumatic Growth
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2022-01-05 14:47:05
First published in Times of Israel The recent suicide of Chaim Walder has created an enormous ripple effect in the Jewish community worldwide. Within seconds of the announcement of his death, social media exploded with emotional reactivity and commentary. Few have remained unaffected. Walder’s victims (one died by suicide shortly after his funeral) are suffering repeated re-traumatization by the tributes that were paid to Walder after his d …
Can a pill make her desire me?
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2017-01-01 05:54:33
Couples seeking sex therapy, often indicate that a lack of sexual desire by one of the partners, more often than not, the woman, is the presenting problem. They often look for a behavioural solution, perhaps hormone treatments, exercises, bedroom gadgets or a libido boosting pill can ‘fix’ the problem for the low-desire partner
Certainly many factors can contribute to low desire in women. Hormonal changes, particularly aft …
Episodes 21 & 22: Unorthodox, Intimacy, and Authenticity: How Accurate is the Netflix Series’ Portrayal of Chasidic Intimacy?
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2020-05-12 06:42:59
The Netflix series, “Unorthodox”, has generated a great deal of discussion and debate. Dozens of op-eds and blogs have been published and various Zoom panels created to discuss the authenticity, or lack thereof, of Hassidic life, marital customs, and sexuality. This makes sense, as the intimate lives of Hassidic Jews, particularly as presented in Hollywood -esqe style, is likely to arouse legitimate curiosity as well as pr …
Ancient Love in Modern Times: Tu B'Av Bonus Episode
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2023-08-20 09:48:54
The 15th of Av , also known as Tu B’Av, is a minor Jewish festival which in modern day Israel is celebrated as a holiday of romantic love, not unlike Valentine’s Day. In this mini bonus episode, Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum discuss the Mishnaic origins of this day, and compare ancient and modern day beliefs about love.Listen here. …
Ancient Love in Modern Times: Celebrating Love on Tu B'Av
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2023-08-20 09:51:55
The 15th of Av , also known as Tu B’Av, is a minor Jewish festival which in modern day Israel is celebrated as a holiday of romantic love, not unlike Valentine’s Day. In this mini bonus episode, Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum discuss the Mishnaic origins of this day, and compare ancient and modern day beliefs about love. Listen here. …
Am I ready to be engaged?
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
2017-01-11 03:50:42
Originally posted in Kol-Isha on 9.1.17 Depending on your background, you may be hearing shidduch recommendations, a friend may set you up, or you may even meet someone at a simcha. In many frum communities, long-term dating is not the norm and many young women feel pressured to ‘decide’ to get engaged after only a handful of meetings. Frequently, the match is encouraged by parents and shadchanim and outside acquaintances, …