Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW Weekly Q&A As Published In Yated Ne'eman
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Showing Results 320 - 360 (373 total)
Parenting Beyond Childhood
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-02-16 09:58:29
Dear Therapist: My son (age 26) was diagnosed with anxiety by our family physician a few years back. I took him to a psychiatrist and he was given medication. He does very well when he is on the medication but I find he constantly skips doses. Even more concerning is that without telling me he will try and take himself off the medicine to see how he can do without it. I will often notice that he isn’t doing well and will confront him and re …
Sibling Rivalry
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-02-07 12:18:31
Dear Therapist: I boruch Hashem have two very wonderful young boys, ages 9 and 7. They fight a lot. I find that I am constantly refereeing their fighting. Part of me wants to just let them deal with it themselves but they wind up coming and crying to me at some point. I have no idea how I am supposed to judge and arbitrate 15 disagreements a day. Please give me some tips on how to manage this. Response: You presented your concern ver …
Homesickness...Bring Them Home Or Not?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-02-06 12:49:09
Dear Therapist: Our daughter went to seminary in Israel this year. This was something she had very much wanted and was looking forward to. Basically, since Succos she has been telling us how miserable she is and that she wants to come home. She is too old to be homesick and I’m not sure what is going on. She has never been the most independent girl but I didn’t think she would have such a problem there. The mechanchos in the seminary …
Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make Me a Match
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-01-25 12:50:22
Dear Therapist: I am a single boy who has been dating for 4 years. Whenever I start dating I get tremendous pressure from my parents to get married. I can’t think straight when I am dating because of all the pressure; of course, the shaddchanim join in as well. I have started saying no to any shidduchim that are read to me because I can’t put myself through this again. My parents seem to think that all the girls I have dated are prett …
Depression or Normal Reaction?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-01-15 09:32:40
Dear Therapist: Thank you to the Yated for this excellent column which I read weekly. I am writing regarding my father. My father is an extremely bright person and a professional who has been working the same job for many years. As he has recently entered his 60’s I notice that he just seems to be very down. My youngest sister recently got married and there is no one living at home any more. I also see that the younger people seem to be adv …
Can I Pay for Your Therapy?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-01-03 14:21:55
Dear Therapist: I have a friend who is really struggling and after many conversations he has finally agreed to go to therapy. We did a lot of research and have found some therapists that would suit him. Unfortunately he cannot afford to pay for therapy. I have offered to pay for therapy but the therapist does not want to allow us to do so. He says he believes that it is important for the patient to pay for therapy themselves and that it is not a …
Addiction in the Jewish Community
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-01-03 14:14:35
Dear Therapist: My question is short, but not so simple. I am an addict. Being an addict is very challenging, painful and lonely, but it’s extra difficult to suffer from this disease in the Jewish community. It’s such a stigma and I have to hide my whole life from everyone. My question is, how can I learn to accept and love myself, to forgive myself for all the wrong I’ve done when I know that if people knew I am an addict, I wo …
Inferiority Complex
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-12-20 12:29:19
Dear Therapist: I have many people in my life whom I feel have an inferiority complex and are in constant need of compliments and appreciation. Yet as much as I try I can't seem to fill their needs and they always feel I am under-appreciating their work. If they send me a cake for Shabbos I need to thank before, after, and once again. How do I feed their never satiated need for praise and compliments? It’s also very difficult for me to deal …
Disposable Friends
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-12-13 13:53:44
Dear Therapist: At about age eleven or twelve my girls drift away from their one good friend and begin to spend time with other girls. This pattern has repeated itself several times. I think that the original friends have felt somewhat abandoned by this. I don't want to control my daughters' friendships. However, I don't want anyone to be hurt and I would like to see that my daughters have the meedah of loyalty. If this is a normal pattern of ado …
Hygiene Problems
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-12-07 11:00:22
Dear Therapist: Hi. The concern I am writing about is my almost 15-year-old son. He is Boruch Hashem a masmid. However, his personal hygiene is lacking. I do not recall ever having had an issue with him regarding this matter when he was a child. He showered, brushed his teeth and followed all the other norms regarding personal hygiene. I actually did try speaking to him about it a few times but he brushes me off. I have stopped …
Can I Force Someone Into Treatment?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-11-30 16:07:20
Dear Therapist: What options are there for someone who clearly needs treatment but refuses to get it? I am currently involved with two cases where the person has serious issues that are affecting themselves and their families but won’t go for help. In one case the person is so depressed they barely leave the house for anything and won’t even hear of it. In the other case the person thinks there is nothing wrong with them but the …
Self-Esteem Revisited
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-11-22 13:00:07
Dear Therapist: I am a young adult with anxiety and I constantly beat myself with mistakes that I make. I was wondering if you can please give me insight on how to deal with it. I'm a bit impulsive. Ex: I spent a bit too much on food recently and now I'm upset that I don't have any money left for more important things that I need. I think very bad thoughts that are not letting me move on in life. I get very tense and have negative thoughts like & …
Career Counseling
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-11-17 09:25:30
Dear Therapist: The time has come in my life for me to make a parnassah to support my family. I am having a difficult time choosing what career path I would like to take and what field I want to get involved in. I am generally not a person who has a hard time making up his mind but I can’t seem to settle on something that I think I would be good at and interested in. Someone mentioned that therapists are trained in career counseling so I th …
Somatic Symptom Disorder
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-11-08 14:31:00
Dear Therapist: Our teenage son has always been a bit of a complicated personality but he does well socially and academically. Recently we have noticed a trend where he keeps on asking to go to the doctor because of different things that are bothering him physically. My husband and I recently calculated that he has had 6 separate issues in the last year or so. Only once was there actually something wrong (strep); the other times the doctor …
Eating Disorder Group Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-11-02 15:17:45
Dear Therapist: Our daughter unfortunately suffers from an eating disorder. One of the things the doctor is recommending is “group therapy”. We have a number of concerns regarding this. First off, the people in the group will, presumably, be just as sick or worse than she is. We don’t want her to get any ideas that she doesn’t have already. Secondly, we are worried that she will meet people there and people will find out a …
Teacher Abuse Revisited
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-10-25 11:16:58
Dear Therapist: When I was a young boy in high school I was treated horribly by an English teacher. For whatever reason he would pick on me constantly, always pointing out when I didn't know something (I was not a good student so this was pretty often). He would embarrass me in front of the entire class and called me a "shoyta". It was a very bad tekufa in my life but I survived. Fast forward 20 years and I BH have a wonderful family with childre …
Is the Social Work Profession For Me?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-10-18 11:17:10
Dear Therapist: Thank you for taking your time each week for this column. I have found it to be very enlightening and educational. I am 33 years old and not finding fulfillment in my current occupation. I am considering going back to school to obtain a degree in social work. I have always been interested in helping people and people seem to gravitate to me when they need help solving a problem. I am curious as to what type of person you think mak …
Peer Pressure and Self-Esteem
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-09-28 12:22:12
Dear Therapist: Can you please give me some good guidelines on how to deal with peer pressure? I am very affected by what the people around me are doing. I don't know if it's that I'm afraid of people getting angry with me or I need to be the center of attention. I think that that is my most difficult challenge and if I could just not be afraid to be different I would be a much better person. Response: Most often, issues with peer pr …
Anxiety Or Concern...Which Is It?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-09-19 10:17:55
Dear Therapist: I have struggled with anxiety all my life. I spent a few years in therapy and BH have it under control to the point where is doesn't severely impact my life like it used to. My question is it ever appropriate for me to be anxious or should I always be working on trying to remain calm. I hear people say that some anxiety is good but I wonder if that applies to someone like me. Even regarding the Yemei Hadin I wonder if the yirah th …
My Husband's Secret Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-09-13 09:20:24
Dear Therapist: My husband recently revealed to me that he has been going to therapy for the last 6 months. I had no idea that he was going or that anything was wrong. I thought we BH had a good marriage and were doing well raising our family. When I asked him why he is going he says there are certain things he wanted to discuss with someone but refuses to tell me what they are. He won't even tell me the name of the person he is seeing. I am comp …
Balancing Differing Needs in a Family System
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-09-06 10:23:22
Dear Therapist: Our 19-year-old son is sadly no longer shomer torah umitzvos. This is a tremendous source of pain and turmoil for the entire family. My wife and I are trying very hard to do what is best for him in accordance with the guidance we are receiving from Rabbonim and professionals. With lots of thought and hard work, we are slowly working on repairing our relationship with our son. Our question is regarding our other children. While the …
Therapy That Is Not Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-08-31 14:17:18
Dear Therapist: At the end of last year my son’s menahel requested that we set him up with therapy for the upcoming year. My son is 12 years old and has been misbehaving in class, makes all sorts of trouble to get attention, and has been very chutzpahdik to Rabbeim and teachers. There is a family friend who is a LCSW and we arranged with him to "learn" with my son twice a week but really it would be therapy. My son’s menahel says this …
Holocaust Anxiety
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-08-24 15:01:27
Dear Therapist: My 5th grade son recently came home from a friend’s house frightened and in tears. He was literally shaking. When I finally managed to calm him down he told me that his friend had been showing him books with pictures of the Holocaust. There were pictures of the mass graves, crematoria, and people being shot and hanged…including little children. My husband and I sat with him for a long time trying to reassure him and c …
Involuntary Truancy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-08-17 14:38:20
Dear Therapist: I am writing about a very painful matter that unfortunately other parents are struggling with as well. As I write this letter at the end of July my daughter does not yet have a high school for next year. I will leave aside the larger communal issue of children not getting into schools because I don’t think this is the forum for it but suffice it to say that she is an excellent girl with middos tovos and has ha …
Mazel Tov! It's...The Baby Blues
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-08-09 13:33:25
Dear Therapist: After my last baby, I was feeling very sad and not myself. I thought it was just because I was very tired but people said I was depressed and I had what they call the baby blues. Now I am BH expecting again and I want to know what steps I can take to prevent this from happening again. I would appreciate any advice you can offer. Response: What used to be known as postpartum depression is a very common. Though many peo …
Talking to Kids About Death
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-08-02 14:49:37
Dear Therapist: My mother-in-law has been fighting a very serious illness for the last few years. At this time the doctors say that they have no more treatments to offer her. I don't think my husband really accepts the implications of this. My children have always had a close relationship with their grandmother and are always asking when she is going to get better. We have been very positive throughout this but now I am not sure how to approach i …
My Daughter's Addiction Is Her Fault...Isn't It?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-07-26 12:50:14
Dear Therapist: Without getting into the gory details, my daughter is currently being treated for a substance abuse addiction. My husband and I are trying to be supportive of her while understanding that it is going to take time. We are being told that we are supposed to view this as an “illness” just like any other mental health or physical illness, such as depression or heart disease. I can’t for the life of me understand how …
Mindfulness Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-07-19 00:00:00
Mindfulness Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-07-19 15:06:08
Dear Therapist: I am a working mother of 6 beautiful children bh, and I am dealing with the regular life stresses that come from parnassah, shalom bayis, and running a family etc. A friend of mine suggested something called "mindfulness" as a way to help me ease the stress. I have looked into it and am wondering if this is something that is used by the frum therapists? Also, do I need to actually see a therapist who is trained in this (for …
Spanking: Punishment or Abuse?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-07-12 16:00:10
Dear Therapist: I am worried about how my husband interacts with our children. Most of the time he is great but when he is stressed out he can really be difficult. He yells a lot and on occasion potches the kids. He says there is nothing wrong with that and that it was never considered wrong for a father to potch and is part of chinuch. I think it's horrible and will ruin the children emotionally. Can you please settle this issue for us? R …
Why Are Teenagers Rebellious?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-07-05 12:34:35
Dear Therapist: My 18-year-old son has been going through a very difficult time recently. He has been acting very rebellious and his yiddishkeit is suffering tremendously. We have been advised by many rabbonim and others that the key is for my wife and me to retain our relationship with him and unconditionally love him. Though he has not shown us that he is very responsible, we did not put up a fight and allowed him to get his driver’s lice …
BDD, OCD, or Normal Teenage Concern About Appearance?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-06-29 08:26:44
Dear Therapist: My 13 year old son is very busy with how he looks. He is my oldest so it's hard for me to get a sense of what's normal for this age. My friends say it's just a stage but I am worried about it becoming a problem. He has taken up exercising and dieting and is very into it. He spends quite a bit of time each day getting dressed. He has made a few cracks to my husband about how he looks. I would appreciate any guidance you can give me …
His Therapist, Her Therapist, Their Therapist
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-06-21 14:06:51
Dear Therapist: My wife and I began seeing a therapist a few months ago. After a few weeks the therapist suggested that my wife begin seeing a therapist by herself (in addition to together with me) to help her with her anxiety. Now our therapist has suggested that in addition I begin seeing another therapist to deal with some issues of my past. It's not like we started this because of a massive issue; we just had some things we needed to work on …
Terrorist Anxiety
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-06-14 11:43:19
Dear Therapist: I have tremendous anxiety from the news, especially nowadays when there are so many videos of terror attacks and other terrible things. I saw a video of a terror attack and I think about it all the time. I had this problem a few years ago but it didn't bother me again until recently. Whenever I go to Manhattan I am so afraid of something terrible happening. Please give me advice on how to deal with this. Response: There are …
Confidentiality Breached
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-06-09 10:53:24
Dear Therapist: I have been seeing a therapist for the last few weeks. Recently, while I was waiting for my appointment in the waiting room, I overheard him discussing another patient on the phone. The door to his office was wide open and he knew I was there because he had buzzed me into the waiting room. Since then I just don't feel comfortable speaking with him because maybe he discusses me when there are other people listening. The problem is …
I'm Socially Awkward...Or Am I?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-05-24 08:54:10
Dear Therapist: I know someone who has a sibling who is in his early 20's and is holding down a job. However, he is socially awkward and can really benefit from therapy. However, this person will get highly insulted after being told this and may resent the person who told him. How can he be told (by a relative or professional) that his behavior calls for therapy? Can it be said straight out? If so, how should it be done? On the other hand, is fin …
Generational Mental Health
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-05-17 13:13:27
Dear Therapist: I am wondering if you can help with the following question that I frequently wonder about. Why is there more of a need for therapists today than a generation or two ago? Somehow we managed fine in the past. I am not, chas v'shalom, against therapists, especially those who follow Da'as Torah. I am just seeking to understand. Response: Your question is one that bothers many people. It can be viewed from a theological, p …
Trauma Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-05-10 14:16:05
Dear Therapist: Around a year ago I went through something very difficult (I am not comfortable providing all the details). I have found that the passing of time since the event, keeping busy so that I don't have time to think about it, as well as writing about it, have helped but would appreciate any other suggestions that you might have. Someone I spoke to said it was a “trauma” and that something called “EMDR” is used t …
My Father Won't Let Me See a Therapist
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-05-03 15:54:19
Dear Therapist: I am a 12th grader in what is considered a very chosuva mesivta. There are some things that I would like to discuss with someone. They cause me a lot of worry but I do not feel comfortable discussing this with a rebbe or mashgiach in yeshiva. I think that maybe a therapist would be the right type of person to discuss this with. The issue is that my father doesn't hold of therapy. I am not sure how to bring this up with him and I d …
Do I need More Sleep or Am I Simply Lazy?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-04-26 12:27:27
Dear Therapist: I am 21 year old Bochur just back from Eretz Yisroel. Can you please explain to me why some people have such a hard time waking up in the morning? This is something I constantly struggle with and I never am able to beat it. Oversleeping is something that is constantly getting in the way of my aliyah. It also really annoys my parents and rabbeim. I wouldn't say it just has to do with going to sleep late because I have fr …
Anonymous Overeaters
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-04-05 15:57:54
Dear Therapist: I have struggled for years with overeating and dieting. I was put on a diet at a young age (I was not overweight; it was purely for aesthetics) and as a result I have spent over 20 years yoyo dieting. I mostly maintain a normal to slightly large physique, so my health is not in great danger. But I cannot seem to get beyond this. I use food to cope and to relieve any emotions I cannot handle. I basically wake up and crash whatever …
Should I Be My Friend's Therapist?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-03-29 12:09:27
Dear Therapist: I am a 17 year old girl and one of my closest friends is constantly saying very depressing things. I'm not always sure if she is serious or just doing it to get attention. I don't know if anyone else is aware of this but she definitely does not want me to tell anyone. Point is, I'm not really sure what to do about it. It's getting to be a bit much for me but if I don't listen to her and take her seriously I don't think she will ha …
Work Anxiety?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-03-23 08:43:53
Dear Therapist, I recently graduated from college and began a job in an accounting firm. Although the job is working out well and I get along with everyone there, I have been feeling increasingly anxious as time goes on. I can't put my finger on what is bothering me because nothing else in my life has changed. In school I was always a relaxed, happy, popular person. I have good relationships and I am happy with my career, but I can't seem to shak …
Do Genetics Determine Mental Health?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-03-15 12:23:24
Dear Therapist, I have an older (half) brother who has a serious mental condition. I'm not sure exactly what it is but he has often had to go to the hospital for a few days till he gets "stabilized". My parents don't really like to talk about it and I try not to bother them with it. I think there are also some other people in my mother’s family who have mental issues. My question is: People have told me (and I have also read online) t …
Has Depression Become a Catch-All?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-03-09 08:32:42
Dear Therapist: I was wondering what your opinion was regarding taking anti-depressants. I have been feeling extremely tired and fatigued recently and when I went to my doctor thinking I needed some blood work he prescribed me an anti-depressant. Is this an advisable course of treatment? Do you think it would be more beneficial for me to see a therapist in addition to, or perhaps instead of, medication? Response: I’m not a psychiatri …
Help Me Sleep!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-03-01 20:18:25
Dear Therapist: I'm really enjoying your column, and I'd love to hear your take on my problem. I am eighteen and I've always suffered from anxiety, and in times of stress also insomnia, but since I graduated from school last year and started working it’s gotten a lot worse. These days, I barely sleep and I am constantly in a state of sleep deprivation and exhaustion. I've tried melatonin, but it doesn't really help much. It basically only m …
Can Therapy Hurt My Family?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-02-22 16:44:05
Dear Therapist: I have a son who would like to see a therapist to deal with some issues. I think it would be beneficial for him but I am concerned that therapy might damage his relationship with my wife and myself. Every parent makes mistakes and I am sure we have as well, but I am worried by the sentiment I hear expressed that therapists "estrange" children from their parents. Can you please clear this up for me and perhaps give me some ideas as …
Work To Live or Live to Work?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-02-16 10:46:30
Dear Therapist: Hi, Thank you for your column. Since parnassa pressure is something we all face, I hope you will print my question. I am the mother of a growing family, BH, and like most women today, my income is essential. Perhaps my husband is learning and I am the primary breadwinner. Or perhaps my husband is working, but his income covers basics while mine pays the tuition. Either way, the pressure that I am feeling to increase my income as m …
The Pre-school Whisperer
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-02-08 10:32:31
Dear Therapist: I am a pre-school Morah in the local Yeshiva. There is a boy in my class who never talks above a whisper. This has been going on since the beginning of the school year. While the parents insist that the child is just shy I am convinced that this is more than that. Can you please give me an idea of where the line is between shyness and a more serious problem? I would also appreciate any strategies you can suggest in convincing the …
Am I a Hypochondriac?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-02-01 08:56:07
Dear Therapist: I go through periods of time when I am consumed with worry about my health. I will be OK for a few months but then I wind up spending all day convinced that I have some sort of horrible illness. I wish I would be able to function normally. Why is this happening to me, and what can I do to stop it? Response: There can be numerous triggers for fears related to health. From a clinical perspective, Illness Anxiety Disorde …
Are my issues conscious or unconscious?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-01-25 11:30:36
Dear Therapist: One of the panelists recently mentioned that “the source of the problem needs to be uncovered and healed” in order to really feel safe and secure. I’ve been wondering for a while how this is actually done in therapy. I’m married in my twenties with some kids and have been struggling with general anxiety. I’ve been seeing a therapist for a couple of months now and she’s really helped me a lot on …
Why can't I remember what I learn?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-01-19 14:43:42
Dear Therapist: I have been enjoying this column in the Yated very much. I was wondering if you would be able to help me out. I’m going through a very hard period. I’m only 28 years old and I’m realizing that I have an issue in retaining information that I learn. I’m realizing it now because I got a job and it’s really affecting my job. I am slowly getting very very down on myself and I no longer have any interest in …
Opposites Attract...Or Not
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-01-13 10:11:00
Dear Therapist: I am in my low 20's and have OCD and Anxiety. Baruch Hashem, I am more or less stable as I am in college, and holding down a job at the same time. My question is: In a Shidduch, do you think I should look for someone who’s similar to me- someone who also has Anxiety or some other disorder, or should I rather look for someone who’s "regular" without those kinds of challenges? (Honestly, I would prefer someone who doesn' …