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Showing Results 160 - 200 (251 total)
SUCCESS!!! How to help your child survive and thrive in challenging situations
Author: Rachel Rosenholtz, LCSW-R
February 27th, 2020
“I can’t do it!” “Sure you can, honey; you’re great at this.” “I’m so dumb.” “No, you’re not. You’re one of the smartest kids in your class, your teacher even told me so.” Sound familiar? Have you ever wondered, “Why does my c …
Are you Ready to Fly?
Author: Dodi Lamm
February 27th, 2020
Have you ever asked yourself, “I’m at a transition point in my life, where do I go from here?” As a therapist, I have many clients who are at this point in my life. They are stuck about next steps. Sheila has come to therapy to talk about her sadness. She sits across from me and appears forlorn. There is a pallor to her face, she is plain-looking, and her speech lacks inflection. In fact, there is sadness in her eyes. She looks …
SUCCESSFUL “EMOTIONAL” RETIREMENT
Author: Douglas Balin, LMSW, MPA.
February 27th, 2020
Google retirement and you will receive literally thousands of sites focusing on the financial issues facing retirees. Financial security is definitely a very important aspect of retirement but not the only one and perhaps not even the most critical for a happy retirement. For the person who is either preparing for retirement or who is already retired, the emotional and mental health of the golden years can define the success or failure of th …
Introduction - Integration
Author:
February 26th, 2019
By Lisa Twerski, LCSW What is integration in a psychological sense and why is it important in our lives? An individual’s internal experience of self is understood to mean that one is fully connected with all parts of themselves and their life experiences, rather than in denial about those that are too painful. This is not to say that it’s possible to be completely aware of all of our thoughts, but rather that, in a general sense, the …
Empty Nest
Author:
February 26th, 2019
By Dvorah Levy, LCSW I had been lamenting to friends about my empty nest until over the summer, two birds, weeks apart, found their way into my home. I then stopped complaining. “The bus is coming in ten minutes.” “What time will you be home for dinner? Is there anything in particular you want me to make?” “Do you have money for your trip?” “Ice cream again before dinner?!” “It’s …
Internal Family Stress
Author:
February 26th, 2019
By Frady Kess, LCSW I am depressed and it’s hard to get out of bed in the morning. I am so anxious I can barely function. I am stuck and don’t know what to do next. I am really angry and can’t move on. Therapists hear statements like this very often. People describe the symptoms that bring them into treatment and often talk about the many things they have tried in order to get these problems to go away. Depress …
Shifra, Puah and PMADs
Author:
February 26th, 2019
By Michael Bleicher, LCSW From the time we read Parshas Shemos until we read Parshas Tetzaveh, we find ourselves in a period of the Jewish calendar known as “Shovavim Tat,” an acronym made of the first letter of Parshios Shemos through Tetzaveh. During this time in Jewish communities across the world, husbands and wives dedicate extra energy and time to fortifying their marriages. From reviewing the technical laws of family purit …
Who am I? – The Integration of Self
Author:
February 26th, 2019
By Pamela Siller, MD When she awoke in the morning, her first thought was of her darling baby, born prematurely, awaiting her arrival in his bassinette in the NICU. Although she knew that she needed to stay strong, her panic steadily rose, until she ran to the bathroom and began to dry heave. Several minutes later, she rinsed out her mouth and started to dress. A couple of hours later, she was in her stride, lecturing to 32 elementary schoo …
4 Tips for Living with our Brains
Author:
February 26th, 2019
By Eitan Zerykier, LMSW Hands Exercise Try this: Slowly raise your hands in front of your face, until they are covering your eyes. Try to see the world through the cracks between your fingers. Feeling weird enough yet? Take a moment to stop reading and try this. When you are done, come back. What would it be like to walk around like this all day? How much would you see? How much wouldn’t you see? This is what it is like to …
Introduction February 2018
Author:
February 26th, 2018
Introduction February 2018 By Lisa Twerski, LCSW What needs to be disclosed? For many of us, this question conjures up thoughts of shidduchim and mental health. Dr. Pamela Siller tackles many of these issues, both from the perspective of the law, the considerations of the clinician and the worries of the person in shidduchim and his or her family. Elizabeth Carmen talks about one of the kinds of disclosures we may be asked to make for shidduch pu …
Why Children Misbehave
Author:
February 26th, 2018
Why Children Misbehave By Sara Teichman, Psy. D. Do you find yourself embarrassed sometimes by your children’s behavior? Have you managed, by dint of consequences and threats, to teach them what not to do, but find they do not know what to do or how to do it? Do they have the knowledge and the skills they need in order to behave appropriately? We all know that children do well if they can. What child does not want to wake up to the love and …
Disclosure, How and When?
Author:
February 26th, 2018
Disclosure, How and When? By: Pamela P. Siller, MD “Hello doctor, this is Mrs. Goldman. I just wanted to let you know that Shmuel Rosen, his mother, or the Shadchen will be calling about Rivky. Such a wonderful boy, truly Bashert, but he has some questions for you. Just let them know my Rivky is fine, and all should be good, Kol Tuv”. Voicemails such as these, or any variations thereof, may instill fear, or at the very least, some de …
What Truly Counts In A Mate
Author:
February 26th, 2018
What Truly Counts in a Mate? Michael J Salamon, Ph.D. I have heard many accounts of just what people are looking for in a spouse. These stories range from questions of tablecloth colors; to a potential bride’s mother’s, and even grandmother’s, dress size; to the age at which the potential choson was toilet trained; to whether or not they chew gum; to how much money the partner’s parents are committing to the couple for the …
Acceptance and Communication: Cornerstones in Marriage
Author:
February 26th, 2018
Acceptance and Communication: Cornerstones in Marriage By: David H. Rosmarin, Ph.D Imagine the following scenario: You and your husband are recently married. You move into a new community and are looking to become more acquainted with other people, so your husband joins the local shul and becomes involved with their evening programming. You are happy for him and don’t want to interfere, but as time passes you realize you really don&r …
The pressure is on: The impact of stress on our children and what we can do about it.
Author:
February 26th, 2018
The Pressure Is On: The Impact of Stress On Our Children and What We Can Do About It. By Rachel Rosenholtz, LCSW-R In today’s fast paced modern world, the experience of life is assaulted upon by a relentless barrage of stress and pressure. Mommy is rushing to get everyone out of the house. Mommy and daddy are getting ready for work and I am hurriedly escorted out of my home onto the school bus. I arrive at school and spend …
Changing the Rules
Author:
February 26th, 2018
Changing the Rules Dvora Entin, LCSW in collaboration with Zisa Levin, RMSWI Just when you think you finally know the way to talk about sexual abuse prevention, the rules change. Take a look at prevention curriculums, where we teach about "Ok Touch" and "Not OK Touch" and the caveat we put in that "even though you don't like how it feels, it's ok for a doctor to touch your private parts because he or she is there to keep you healthy." Oh, a …
When Asking for a Woman’s Dress Size Becomes the Norm: How Dating in the Jewish World is Contributing to Body Image Issues and Disordered Eating
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February 26th, 2018
When Asking for a Woman’s Dress Size Becomes the Norm: How Dating in the Jewish World is Contributing to Body Image Issues and Disordered Eating By: Elizabeth Carmen, MA, Ed.M, LMHC The media, both Jewish and secular, has been giving this topic a lot of attention lately, which is terrific, but also highlights the fact that there is a major pandemic in the community. While writing this article, an article was published in Self magazine abou …
Conquering our Fears, Introduction
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
February 25th, 2021
Dear Readers Welcome to the February edition of Mind Body and Soul, titled “Conquering our Fears”. Whereas anxiety may be considered a constant companion to only some of us, COVID has brought some degree of fear and uncertainty to virtually all of us. In this vein, I hope you, our readers, experience the following articles, in a soothing, calming manner. In this edition, Rona Novick walks us through the steps of providing …
We Needn't Feel Alone
Author: Dvorah Levy, LCSW
February 25th, 2021
There’s a storm raging outside. Finally, a familiar reason for staying at home. I’m sitting at my kitchen table, watching melted snow fall like tears along the sliding kitchen doors, while snowdrifts make mountains out of molehills. It’s been a year since life was disrupted by a microscopic enemy. It’s as if our world is a snow globe that’s been turned upside down, and we are still trying to find our footing. We&rsqu …
Dispelling the myths of aging and emotional wellbeing
Author: Douglas Balin, LMSW, MPA
February 25th, 2021
There are so many myths about aging that have become stereotypes, to the point that even older adults have come to believe they are true. Well, our mission is to debunk those myths and give you the truths about what happens as we all, G-d willing, become older. It is important, as these stereotypes frame prejudice against older adults. It will often result in ageism, which is discrimination against the older population. Much worse, ma …
Reassurance: An Anxiety Management Tool with Rona Novick's New Children's Book, "Mommy Can You Stop the Rain?"
Author: Rona Milch Novick, PhD
February 25th, 2021
Children are scaredy cats! They are anxious in the dark, may shrink from costumed characters at birthday parties, and even in their school and teen years have numerous worries about their academic performance and social standing. How do children conquer their normal or potentially debilitating fears? Sometimes, they outgrow them and sometimes the efforts of caring, reassuring adults are needed to help them move past the fear. &n …
My Fear That You Won’t Seek Help for Estrangement
Author: Alan M. Singer, PhD
February 25th, 2021
Estrangement is commonly defined as the intentional choice by one or more relatives to end contact because of an ongoing negative relationship. Primarily based on emotions, not facts, estrangement can bring unimaginable heartbreak to families. I implore you to seek help if the above describes you, as the numbers are staggering. Twenty-seven percent of Americans eighteen and older have cut off contact with a family member: 10% parent/child, …
Anger and Self-Care
Author: Adina Segal, LCSW
February 25th, 2021
Since the beginning of COVID-19, I have consistently been receiving calls from clients asking for help controlling their anger. With concerns around social distancing, less assistance is available to families. In my line of work, helping those caring for relatives with dementia, I see fewer resources available to assist with care. At home, school closures leave parents, such as myself, with little respite. When schools do open, the anxiety around …
Confidential: Psychotherapy behind the Scenes Gestalt Therapy: Empty Chair Technique
Author: Moshe Norman, LCSW
February 25th, 2021
Confidential: Psychotherapy behind the Scenes Gestalt Therapy: Empty Chair Technique “I can’t do it anymore.” “Therapy is getting to you, isn’t it?” “No, I’m not talking about therapy.” I raise my eyebrows. “I’m talking about living. Yoel had been the victim of abuse for two and a half years during his elementary school years. His parents struggled with their own marital strife, …
Introduction March 2017
Author: Lisa Twerski
February 22nd, 2017
When I think of the concept of “enhancing our relationships,” I think of two scenarios: either a mutual process where two people are working together, or a situation when someone is trying to improve a relationship without the active cooperation of the other person, someone who is working on themselves in relation to the other person. All too often, when people come in …
Achieving True Attachment, Belonging and Connection
Author: Esther Gendelman MS, LPC, CPC
February 22nd, 2017
A number of wedding brachos refer to the simchah of Adam and Chava in Gan Eden. At first, Hashem allowed Adam to experience the pain of utter solitude. As he named the other living beings and understood their essence, Adam instinctively grasped that they could not provide the depth of companionship that he craved. When Hashem created Chava, Adam recognized true kinship on a very deep level; he now found someone who could support and understand hi …
Laugh With Me
Author: Michael J. Salamon, PhD
February 22nd, 2017
There are a slew of variables that have been assessed to determine what predicts marital satisfaction: Attitudes, personality, temperament, interests, life goals, and intimacy are but a few of the ones shown to contribute to marital happiness. One variable, however, is not often included, but has been proven to impact marital contentment: humor. Apparently, the use of humor, which things a couple finds funny, how jokes are told to one another and …
Mirrors and Therapeutic Listening
Author: Kalman Canant, LCSW, CSAT
February 22nd, 2017
Exactly who are you? You are indeed unique, and no one else is quite the same. But what makes you you? Well, part of the answer is your appearance. Other people spot you in a crowd and recognize your likeness. They know it’s you. The way you look identifies you to others, and your appearance is part of your self-identity as well. How do you know what you look like, though? As part of the human condition, your eyes can only look outwards, an …
Relationship Rules: A Primer
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
February 22nd, 2017
In my practice, I’ve found that there are two aspects of relationships that clients consistently want to discuss. One aspect generally pertains to those who are considering a relationship and those who are in the beginning phase of a new relationship. The other aspect is usually brought up later on in the relationship—sometimes relatively early on, and sometimes after years of marriage. People interested in forming a relationsh …
Understanding Why We Fight - Sara Schapiro-Halberstam, MHC-LP, CASAC & Renée Beyda
Author: Sara Schapiro-Halberstam, MHC-LP, CASAC & Renée Beyda
February 22nd, 2017
Humans are peaceful creatures… when alone. Once there are two or more people sharing a project, a bank account, children, a religion, and even a country, there’s bound to be friction. Just take a look at what occurred during the 2016 election. Fiery debates sparked at dinner tables and on social media platforms, caused friction within families, between friends, and continued to do so even after the results were in! Whether discussing …
When Psalms Calms
Author: Yehuda Krohn, PsyD
December 4th, 2020
By: Yehuda Krohn, PsyD Dear Readers Welcome to the November issue of Mind Body & Soul, themed “The calm within the storm”. Let’s start with a basic question: What is a storm? Some would say that a storm is simply a meteorological event. Then again, the term storm is also used when a position held by one group is overwhelmed by members of a different group. “Storm” could also refer to a surprisingly strong …
Here is What Didn’t Calm the Divorce Storm
Author: Dr. Alan Singer
December 4th, 2020
No-Fault divorce was supposed to calm the storm of marital dissolution; well, it didn't. States that adopted no-fault divorce experienced a decrease of eight to sixteen percent of wives' suicide rates and a thirty percent decline in domestic violence. That is encouraging data. The Two Types of Marriages that End Some statistics are welcome news, but the “thirty three percent and sixty six percent” are not good news. Of …
A Kitten's Cry
Author: Esther Gendelman, MS, LPC
December 4th, 2020
Sounds of helpless, pitiful cries kept wafting through my backyard window as I gently refocused my attention on the clients sitting in my therapy office. At the next pause, I met the owner of the cries. An adorable, little, black and white kitten looked imploringly at me, hungrily begging for food and comfort. Wondering if it was lost or abandoned, I fed it, held it and post …
Keeping Our Cool
Author: Dr. Sara Teichman
December 4th, 2020
There are many disruptions and interruptions in our fast-paced society, and we are all guilty of losing it at times. Though it is human to react to things, being reactive and being overreactive are two very different things. When we overreact, we lose it- literally. Not just our temper, but our sense of proportion, and control of our emotions and behavior. We lose perspective, and our judgment is impaired. We feel out of control in the moment, an …
Chaos and the Dysregulated Individual
Author: Evan Steele, LCSW
December 4th, 2020
In these troubling times, we hear quite often about how much strain the current environment places on our mental health. We can see this when we self-introspect, when we observe others, and in the myriad data points in larger society, such as the current demand for mental health services, increase in suicidal episodes, increase in violent crime, and maybe even political intolerance. Still, as mental health providers, we’ve also observ …
Dealing With This Depressive Dystopia: Ecclesiastes, COVID, and the Paradoxical Commandments
Author: Jefferey Singer, PhD
December 4th, 2020
Dealing With This Depressive Dystopia: Ecclesiastes, COVID, and the Paradoxical Commandments By Jefferey Singer Before you think there is a new diagnosis being hoisted on the public, please rest assured that “depressive dystopia” is my own term for how I view our current collective condition. COVID life has helped create a societal malaise that has pushed our emotional tolerances to a state of constant, uncomfortable su …
Rising above
Author: Pamela P. Siller, MD
December 4th, 2018
By Pamella Siller, MD Text and Image published in in collaboration with the Jewish Press 2002 Rochel pulled the covers even more tightly over her head in a futile attempt to drown out the sounds. She knew, without looking, that her father had been drinking too much at the Weinstein’s L’Chaim, and he would be mean tonight. She was dreading the next day, knowing that she would not be able to hide the dark circles under her eyes after a …
School: Throw a Fit, Grin and Bear it or Hey, Let's See How we Can Benefit! How to end the daily power struggle over school and help your child thrive.
Author: Rachel Rosenholtz, LCSW-R
December 4th, 2018
Text and Image published in in collaboration with the Jewish Press “Why do I have to do all this dumb work? It's so boring. How is this going to help me anyway?” “Jake, for the 20th time, go do your homework!” “I'm not going to school, you can't make me.” Does this sound familiar? This is a picture of a child resisting and avoiding something in life that makes him miserable. A perfectly natural re …
Rising to Meet New Motherhood: SELF care in the Postpartum Period
Author: Dr. Sarah J. Miller
December 4th, 2018
Text and Image published in in collaboration with the Jewish Press Angry cries pierce the silence of a still house in the dead of night. It’s time for that 3 a.m. feeding again. Or is it? Blearily wiping your eyes, you glance at the clock. Actually it’s 1:52, and the baby has been up three times already since midnight. Sighing, you fumble for a pacifier. It’s going to be a long night. Becoming a new mother, even for the second, …
How to Find Your Horizon of Healthy Thinking: A Powerful Three-Step Therapy Technique for Addressing Negativity Based on a New Book
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
December 4th, 2018
Text and Image published in collaboration with the Jewish Press Moods, to some extent, are just part of being human. With the holiday season behind us and the chilly weather blowing in, many of us find ourselves feeling down more than we’d like. Almost everyone feels like this sometimes- I know I do. When we wake up “on the wrong side of the bed” or encounter frustrations, we may feel that we are being ambushed by inevitable neg …
Are You Experiencing Seasonal Affective Disorder?
Author: Mendi Baron, LCSW
December 4th, 2018
By Mendi Baron, LCSW Text and Image published in collaboration with the Jewish Press As Tishrei comes to a close and we head into the “pre-Chanukah” stretch, one important topic that comes up often, especially with teens, is S.A.D. Seasonal depression, also known as Seasonal Affective Disorder (or SAD), is a mood disorder that most commonly occurs during the late fall and winter months when the weather changes and it gets darker earli …
Her Silent Struggle
Author: Chaya Kohn, LMHC
December 4th, 2018
By Chaya Kohn, LMHC Text and Image published in collaboration with the Jewish Press It happened again. Of course it did. Why would she expect anything different when it happens every day? She comes home tired from the day, emotionally and physically drained. The day always plays out the same, starting with the mornings. Bracha wakes up to the sound of her alarm blaring. She leans over to turn it off and in that brief second, all the hurtful thoug …
Rising Above Pittsburg
Author: By Yehuda Krohn Psy.D
December 4th, 2018
By Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D Text and Image published in collaboration with the Jewish Press. There are situations in life that hold us back from reaching our fullest potential. They essentially keep us down. Some situations derive from our environment. They are about transitions, related to work, school, or even the change of seasons. Some hit closer to home, as with the experience of trauma or even the recent birth of a child, yet others are harder t …
How and why community safety matters
Author: Rabbi Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
August 31st, 2022
Dear Readers Welcome to the August edition of Mind Body & Soul, themed Safe families; safe communities. In this issue we consider the various opportunities that present themselves, to create safety within ourselves, our families and our communities. In particular, Menachem Hojda advises the larger community how to aim for security, especially when some of its members are at risk. Chana Mark guides individuals toward …
Dealing With Anger, The Advanced Course
Author: Chana Mark, LCSW
August 31st, 2022
Does feeling angry at someone always have to end in angry words, sore feelings and helpless frustration? Maybe not. In Pirkei Avos 5:11 we learn, “A person who seldom gets angry and is quick to be mollified is a tzaddik.” Tosfos Yom Tov and Rabbeinu Yona both point out that the Mishna is telling us that it is not humanly expectable to never get angry. Rabbeinu Yona notes that there are times when Kavod Shamayim requires it. Anot …
Safety or Security?
Author: Menachem Hojda LMSW
August 31st, 2022
Like so many others, I watched the videos of the police response in Uvalde, Texas with shock and disappointment. The scene brought me back to the afternoon just months earlier when a shooter attacked Oxford High School just 30 miles north of my home. As President of my local public-school board, and a mental health professional on the county’s crisis response team, I found myself at the intersection of school governance and community respon …
Years and Tears Later: The Price of Deception in Shidduchim
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R, DHL
August 31st, 2022
(Simcha Feuerman maintains a private practice specializing in high conflict and couples . His practice is in Brooklyn, Queens and Boca Raton.) The following ideas are based on his daily blog, Psychology of the Daf. The Gemara in Kesuvos dappim 12-13 deal extensively with the halakhic consequences and nuances of misrepresentation of facts in Shidduchim. How much exaggeration is normal when describing a Shidduch? How much should the pe …
Safe Relationships Facilitate Family Well-Being
Author: Dr. Alan M. Singer
August 31st, 2022
Hollywood has led us to believe that the fundamentals of a good marriage are: love, passion, infatuation, romance, and chemistry. In my professional opinion, those are the tier two fundamentals. The vital tier one fundamentals are: respect, empathy, friendship, forgiveness, trust, and safety, which is the focus of this essay. www.Shalomtaskforce.org Back in the early days of domestic violence awareness and prevention, safety in relationshi …
Community Conflict and Resilience
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
August 31st, 2020
Dear Readers, We are six months into a pandemic that has impacted almost every facet of our lives. Many of us have emerged from the more extreme forms of lockdown and are encountering an outside world that bears, at best, a limited resemblance to the world we once knew. Simchos are being celebrated on a size and scale that seems familiar; yet not all of us can safely attend. Some of us have been able to return to work; others have not. The childr …
The Pain of an Individual
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
August 31st, 2020
Author’s note: The privacy and confidentiality of individuals found in this narrative were safeguarded, by modifying identifying details. It didn’t dawn on me during the first week of the shutdown, or even during the second or third week. The pandemic had shuttered our schools and synagogues for more than a month, before I recalled my earlier conversation with Hank. Hank is a bright, sensitive young man. …
Jewish Stories for Self-Esteem and Personal Growth
Author: Tina Kahn, LMHC, LMFT
August 31st, 2020
Stories have always intrigued people of all ages. They engage and stimulate us on both a cognitive and emotional level, leaving us open to receive their deepest messages, whether they are how to achieve self-esteem, experience personal growth, or gain a connection with the Ribbono Shel Olam. Welcome to my storybook, which you can interpret and relate to on any level. There is a story told about a rebbe giving counseling to his followers. Th …
Resilience and its Pitfalls
Author: Fraidy Zeidman M.S. Ed, LMHC
August 31st, 2020
Resilience is touted by scientists as one of the prime ingredients necessary to navigate life’s challenges. Merriam Webster dictionary defines resilience as “an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change." We often look towards children, with their positive outlooks on life, as a great example of resilience, to understand its benefits. While the advantages of resilience are numerous, let’s look at the …
The World of the Family Caregiver
Author: Adina Segal, LCSW
August 31st, 2020
Shani is at her wits end. She is the only child of Holocaust survivor parents. Over the years they have faced a great deal of difficulty with memory issues, forgetting to pay bills, failing to take medications properly and not remembering doctor’s appointments. Her mother calls her several times a day, forgetting that she spoke to her 10 minutes prior. Her father expresses concern about strangers coming through the window. He leaves random …
Kids in Isolation
Author: Sarah Levy, PhD
August 31st, 2020
It started to spread like wildfire in Israel. No, I’m not referring to the coronavirus itself, but to the phenomenon of kids in isolation, or what is known in Hebrew as “bidud.” My daughters’ friends who lived in another city called to inform them of how they were preparing for a 14-day bidud after some classmates had tested positive for coronavirus. Some of these friends sounded excited as they described the mini fridge t …
The Face Behind the Mask
Author: Rachel Slochowsky LMFT, CSAT
August 31st, 2020
The Center for Disease Control and Prevention has stated that wearing masks have been proven to help protect us from Covid-19. In a world that feels so chaotic, unstable and unknown, many of us have been holding on to this theory. Just wear the mask and you’ll be safer, wear the mask and you won’t be exposed. As difficult and painful as this pandemic has been, it has brought to the surface something profound. Masks seem to be for the …
Building Resilience in Children
Author: Dr. Sara Teichman
August 31st, 2020
Do you ever worry that your kids have it ‘too good?’ They are carpooled to wherever, have their own rooms [well, maybe with one sib], and their own personal lawyer [you!] to help them deal with any issues at school. They have unlimited credit [your credit cards!] and by virtue of their very birth, are entitled to sleep-away camp and a gap year in Israel. How different this is from our childhood where we walked everywhere, shared a roo …
The meaning of ELUL
Author: Moshe Norman, LCSW
August 31st, 2020
Elul. It is a powerful and sobering time of year, a time for introspection, commitment and growth. For many it brings back memories of warm holiday spirits and long hours spent in shul davening and singing the heartwarming, seasonal songs. But for others, Elul has a completely different meaning. “I feel my whole body tense up as soon as I hear the words, ‘Rosh Chodesh ELUL.’ I constantly worry that I am going to do somethi …
Resilient Parents Increase Time with Children Despite Work Pressures
Author: Alan M. Singer PhD
August 31st, 2020
The “latest research” gets copious amounts of media attention as trends come and go. Remember way back in the 90’s when parents used to put their infants to sleep on their stomachs? Now, in 2020, you wouldn’t dare do such a thing! How about some years ago when large amounts of beta-carotene could supposedly prevent cancer? Now, in 2020, it’s beta-what …
Preparing to Reopen a Post-trauma World
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
August 31st, 2020
Well, it seems like it's finally happening; after all of these surreal days and weeks and months, we are starting to reopen. But how do we prepare for a post-traumatic stress-flavored world? With all the talk about reopening, we still find ourselves just as torn and conflicted as we’ve been for the past three months. Along with an ideological civil war acting as the icing on the pandemic cake. The only consistent theme of this COVID-19 era …
Coming Full Circle
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
August 30th, 2019
In one of my early graduate classes, our professor posed the following question, “Given that so much of our existence touches on cycles—night and day, the seasons of the year, evaporation and rainfall, to name but a few—is there anything that can be described as linear?” One brave student volunteered the answer that human life is linear: a child is born, they mature, become an adult, begin to age, and then they die. Our pr …
Attachments
Author: Pamela Siller, MD
August 30th, 2019
Shoshana couldn’t wait to grab a cup of coffee with Perel, her childhood friend. As they had known each other since preschool, there was no need for pretense or presumption. Along with a steaming mug, the familiarity and acceptance was almost medicinal. There was so much waiting to be discussed: a controlling boyfriend, a demeaning supervisor, needy parents and intrusive friends. Shoshana could not understand why her interpersonal rel …
Precious Memories
Author: Rabbi Joshua Marder, MA, LMFT
August 30th, 2019
Relationship Insight: Research and experience teach us that children need to feel safe, secure, and comfortable within themselves and the environment around them. To accomplish this security, they seek proximity to their parents or other caregivers. As adults, we also need to feel safe, secure, and comfortable in our environment and within ourselves. And we also seek out safety, security, and comfort from our loved ones. As adults, we learn …
How Sowing in Tears Reaps in Joy
Author: Rabbi Joshua Marder, MA, LMFT
August 30th, 2019
Relationship Insight: I told my wife I was going to bed early last Tuesday night. I was wrong. At 10:30 pm, my anticipated bedtime, I found myself in the car taking one of my kids to the ER. It was a beautiful and extremely unpleasant experience. No one enjoys seeing their loved one in pain, and no parent—especially me—enjoys missing their bedtime, but those painful moments are often precious moments. Furtherm …
The Power of Attachment Templates
Author: Dvorah Levy, LCSW
August 30th, 2019
What makes us attracted to one person over another? What happens when we are continuously drawn to a personality type that we know is not good for us? Is attraction, and subsequently attachment, in relation to a significant other a conscious or unconscious process? The answer to these questions lies in an understanding of attachment templates. This understanding can make a big difference in determining who we choose to be in a relationship with. …
Forgiving Hashem
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
August 30th, 2019
The month of Elul is almost upon us. From the end of Elul through Yom Kippur, while many Jews recite, in an undertone, the formal script with which they seek forgiveness, some might simultaneously be conducting an even quieter, conversation with themselves. The personal conversation takes on a different tone and tenor than the forgiveness formula: I’ve been reciting the litany of my sins for weeks on end. It’s starting to grate on my …
Connecting With Resilience
Author: Menachem Hojda LMSW CCTP
August 29th, 2019
Eighty years ago, in the summer of 1939, fear and anticipation gripped the world. In London, government officials grappled with the difficult question of how to keep children safe during the expected bombing of London by the Nazis. The plan that was conceived involved loading thousands of children, with notes pinned to their clothing recording their identification and essential information, onto trains which carried them into the British countrys …
Introduction August 2017
Author: Lisa Twerski, LCSW
August 28th, 2017
When it comes to childrearing, there are so many decisions to be made. One major area is schooling and all the decisions that go into making sure our children have the healthiest experience they can have in the place they spend the majority of their day. One of the reasons this can become anxiety- provoking is the fact that each child is different, and can require so many different things, depending on so many factors. More than one child can mea …
Choosing a Better Way to Divorce
Author: Alan Winder, PhD
August 28th, 2017
Wouldn’t it would be great if divorce didn’t exist, people were always happy in their marriage, and they stayed together for the rest of their lives? There was a time when people tended–for better or worse–to stay married, and divorce was not commonplace. Unfortunately today, as we are all aware, divorce rates have been quite high, and only continue to rise. When a couple separates and/or decides to divorce, there are cert …
Marital Compatibility and Communication and Why They Are Overrated
Author: Alan M. Singer, Ph.D., LMSW
August 28th, 2017
When one thinks of marital problems, two primary issues generally come to mind: compatibility and communication. Contrary to popular belief, compatibility is not something you have–it is something you create. It is about how you speak to each other, how well you get along, and how you move through time together. Rarely do couples call me for a counseling appointment and mention a lack of compatibility as their primary issue, even thou …
A Guide to Guided Imagery
Author: Marlene Greenspan, MA, LPC
August 28th, 2017
Today’s world is jam-packed with information via a constant and steady barrage on our technological devices that surround and accompany us everywhere we go. Our children, as well, are in the same predicament. PBS Kids, for example, offers an endless stream of programs designed to entertain and educate children practically from infancy. Using color and movement, these programs fascinate young viewers, regardless of whether or not they …
Consequences vs. Punishment
Author: Sara Teichman, Psy.D.
August 28th, 2017
All too many parents struggle with discipline. They will often complain that they have trouble making their rules stick, and busy themselves with searching for the “magic” that will make the process of discipline work. They may search for a list of punishments that they can whip out at a moment’s notice in the hope that that would get the children to listen. Unfortunately, despite ads and claims to the contrary, there is no magi …
Coping With Back to School Anxiety
Author: Pamela P. Siller, MD
August 28th, 2017
We have all experienced trepidation before a life-changing event, or a small anxiety-provoking experience. The feelings of butterflies in your stomach, your heart pounding in your chest, or the need to run to the bathroom several times in an hour, is a familiar sensation to most everybody. Regardless of whether you are worried about an upcoming flight, an important business meeting or a life-altering phone call, the physical sensation is the same …
13 Reasons Why: A Parenting Opportunity
Author: Dvora Entin, LCSW
August 28th, 2017
In a world where news headlines change dramatically at lightning speed almost hourly, perhaps the Netflix series, 13 Reasons Why, seems like an already irrelevant topic of conversation or discussion. As a therapist who had to watch most of the episodes for a work-related responsibility, the content of the show persists in my subconscious and continues to draw my attention even several months later. Seeing this series as a parent of teenagers, as …
LChaim To Life
Author: Michael J. Salamon, Ph.D., FICCP
August 28th, 2017
I recently saw a 12-year-old boy drinking bourbon at a party. He was making faces as he absorbed the burn of the liquid. I asked him who gave him the drink. “A friend,” he replied. “Do you like it?” I asked. “It’s uchy.” “So why drink it?” “I drink it so I can be part of their group,” was his honest, and very naïve, response. I followed him around for a few minutes and saw tha …
Looking Forward To the New School Year
Author: Rachel Rosenholtz, LCSW
August 28th, 2017
What is that deep feeling of relief washing over parents across the globe? Oh yes, school is almost here! As happy as parents were for the much needed break of summer, parents are just as happy at this point to wave goodbye as their children cruise down the road in the big yellow school bus. You are looking forward–but maybe your child is not. As the first day of school approaches, maybe you notice subtle differences in your chi …
Reward and Punishment
Author: Rabbi Dr. Joel Rosenshein, Ph.D.
August 28th, 2017
In today's day and age, there seems to be a popular belief that children should not be raised in the old method of reward or punishment. When we look around, however, it is apparent that many of our present problems with our children come down to our spoiling them, perhaps more so than in any previous generation. Although there is a need to praise more than to discipline, to reward more than to discipline, it is still essential to provide consequ …
Teenagers: Mission Impossible
Author: Alexander Rand, LCSW-R CASAC
August 26th, 2015
Raising teenagers in 2015 requires education, skill, luck, practice, and of course, prayer and God. Even with all that, it’s still not enough. We need more prayer and more God, and if you’ve ever raised a teenager, you’ll understand exactly why. Adolescence is a time when a child naturally starts to experiment with rules, challenging authority, and beginning to form his/her own identity. While that can be terrifying for parents, …
Raising Resilient Children: Rising to the Challenges of Today and Tomorrow
Author: Chaya Drucker, MSW, LCSW, ACSW
August 26th, 2015
As loving parents, we understandably long to protect our precious children from all suffering, risks, hardships, and adversity. Yet we recognize that this is neither possible nor ultimately desirable, since we will not be permanently available to serve as their shield against the demands and difficulties of life. Furthermore, we realize that each person’s challenges constitute a customized crucible, divinely ordained to actualize his …
Praiseworthy Children
Author: Shaya Hecht, LMSW, CASAC-T
August 26th, 2015
Praise can be a very effective tool in reinforcing your child’s actions. Many parents seem to be resistant to praising their child, arguing that: “Praise doesn’t work… I don’t want to praise him too much because then he/she will get spoiled… I sound like a broken record when I tell my child “good job” every few minutes…” and similar excuses. It is important to note that although …
Parenting a Child with Mental Illness
Author: Sarah Kahan, LCSW
August 26th, 2015
“Hello Yehudis, how can I help you?” “I heard you have a residence for adults with mental illness. My son, who just turned 20, is in the psych ward for the third time this year. I am no longer able to care for him at home and I am imploring you for help. Do you know what it’s like to have a child who doesn’t want to take his medication and doesn’t come out of his room for days, doesn’t shower, and on …
Impulse Control Disorders in Children
Author: Jonathan Bellin, LCSW
August 26th, 2015
When observing and diagnosing behavior in children, it is very important to differentiate between aggression and hyperactivity. Hyperactivity is not synonymous with being oppositional or aggressive. Whereas hyperactivity is a defining feature of ADHD, aggression is not. Similarly, a child with Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) is oppositional with rules at home and/or in school, but they are not physically aggressive. There are d …
Finding the Teachable Moment
Author: Sara Teichman, Psy.D.
August 26th, 2015
Many a parent believes in the power of constant discipline, providing further proof that “when you’re a hammer, everything looks like a nail.” However, in my mind, strong discipline is overkill – and subject to the law of diminishing returns. In other words, when it comes to discipline, more is less. Like any system, overuse may breed ineffectiveness and even resentment. And the last thing a parent wants to do is compromis …
Facilitating Acceptance
Author: Kalman Canant, LCSW, CSAT-c
August 26th, 2015
Life seldom gives us exactly what we want or the way we want it. Disappointment can be difficult for us in many ways, causing a lot of disturbance. The way we expected reality to turn out just doesn’t match the way that it does turn out, and this incongruity produces much suffering. Expectations are like entry ramps into our journey through the spiral of non-acceptance. We experience at least two stages on this journey, and enter into …
Can Two Wrongs Make One Right?
Author: Marlene Greenspan
August 26th, 2015
Two wrongs do not make a right, as the old saying goes – and this usually works quite well when parents encourage their children to get past a fighting mode. But in fact, two negatives do make a positive in the disciplines of math and grammar. So why doesn’t it apply to a person’s consideration of morality? Don’t the two principles seem to contradict each other? Math and grammar are challenging subject skills for many. On …
Introduction August 2015
Author:
August 26th, 2015
Recently a very tragic – very public – suicide has become fodder for countless news outlets, front page stories, blogs, and even more conversations. People who knew the young woman who jumped twenty stories to her death only tangentially, or not at all, expressed very strong ideas about what had happened, why it happened and whose fault it was. Everybody seems to have an opinion and something to say. When a tragedy such as this one oc …
Introduction August 2016
Author:
August 24th, 2016
Dear Readers. There are all types of unhealthy relationships and many reasons why people stay in them. For those who haven’t experienced this but who have played the confidant to someone in an unhealthy relationship, it can be understandable, from a practical standpoint, why people stay, Perhaps the person’s reasons for staying in the relationship are financial, or maybe it’s the feeling that if one makes a commitment, on …
Healing Early Wounds through Psychotherapy
Author: Chaya Rubin, Ph.D
August 24th, 2016
Our very first relationships are the ones that we form with our caretakers, most typically, our mother and/or father. It is these early bonds that serve as a template for all our other relationships to come. As a baby, and then as child, we learn exactly what is at stake in our closest relationships. These primary alliances are instructive in representing what we can expect from others throughout our life, as well as what we are required to provi …
Love in the Face of Pain
Author: Pamela P. Siller, MD
August 24th, 2016
They may not want it. They may not know they need it. But you need to know better. Discipline. Boundaries. The foundation of knowing how to navigate through society. You may not think that this applies to children with mental illness. However, structure is paramount for children, including those struggling with issues such as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Oppositional Behaviors, Mood Disorders... t …
The Power of Apology
Author: Sara Teichman, Psy.D.
August 24th, 2016
We’ve all been there. A loved one says “sorry” and we feel uneasy and confused. On one hand, it seems ungracious to refuse an apology; on the other, the apology feels empty and insincere. Because the other person has apologized, he feels that the matter is closed. So, unsettled as we may feel, we let it go… and the resentment begins to build. For those readers who have trouble recognizing this pattern, visit any schoolyar …
What's the Problem with Marriage?
Author: Dvorah Levy, LCSW
August 24th, 2016
The problem with marriage is that our partner has the ability to hurt us in ways no one else can. We are hardwired to want to be in an intimate relationship with another. Our initial blueprint for attachment is formulated by our first intimate relationship, that of our primary caregiver. The messages we received as children around our worthiness, specialness, and lovability were reflected in the responses our caregiver gave us. Ideally, when we e …
Why Doesn't She Just Leave? Understanding the Complexity of Domestic Abuse
Author: Shoshana D Frydman, PhD, LCSW
August 24th, 2016
Imagine feeling like a hostage in your own home, unable to come and go as you please; always worrying about the next attack, even during times of relative peace. This fear is based on your experience and the awareness that, at some point, there will be another attack. And this fear takes over your life, and permeates itself into every experience and action that you take. I am not referring to what life is like in Israel or other terrorist-laden c …