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Showing Results 120 - 160 (271 total)
Identifying and Selecting Your Career
Author: Michael Simcha Lax Psy.D.
2016-02-29 00:00:00
“My son, the doctor” has been the pride and joy of many Jewish parents back in the day, and has no doubt been a motivating factor for many “sons” who have entered the field of medicine. The goal: do something society views as respectable and make my parents proud. Today this trend has taken on a new face. It’s going for a degree in Special Ed when you’d be more interested in a career in interior design, or doin …
If Not ADHD, What Can It Be?
Author: Michael J. Salamon, Ph.D
2016-11-23 12:38:41
Yaakov is 17. He has attended four different high schools before completely dropping out. His parents, not knowing what to do with him, had him visit to several different doctors and therapists over the last five years. All of the doctors diagnosed him with an Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). For many years, he willingly tried several different medications and combinations for the disorder in two different classes of drugs, and al …
If You Can Name It, You Can Tame It
Author:
2017-06-29 13:25:57
By Dr. Michael J. Salamon The daughter of my patient* called to speak with me about her mother’s treatment. Her mother had signed a release at the beginning of treatment granting me permission to speak with her husband, two sons and this daughter, should the need arise. On occasion, the patient brought some of these family members to the therapy room with her. It was not uncommon for them to call and ask how they might assist in helpin …
Impulse Control Disorders in Children
Author: Jonathan Bellin, LCSW
2015-08-26 00:00:00
When observing and diagnosing behavior in children, it is very important to differentiate between aggression and hyperactivity. Hyperactivity is not synonymous with being oppositional or aggressive. Whereas hyperactivity is a defining feature of ADHD, aggression is not. Similarly, a child with Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) is oppositional with rules at home and/or in school, but they are not physically aggressive. There are d …
In the Trenches with Covid-Destabilized Marriages
Author: Dr. Alan M. Singer
2022-03-08 15:44:22
The research on the impact of Covid-19 on marital well-being is just now coming to the fore. The goal of this essay is to provide the reader with some initial findings as it can help to explain comments made by couple’s therapy clients of this author. A remarkable thing about the pandemic is that therapists do not usually experience the same concerns and traumas at the same time as their clients do. “But during the pandemic, ev …
Influence Vs. Control
Author:
2019-06-03 09:35:16
By: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D. Many of us find ourselves in relationships. They can be familial, social, school, or business-related. Hopefully, we experience most of our relationships as satisfying; yet, not every relationship necessarily fulfills and nurtures. Some relationships may feel too distant while others may feel too close—too stifling—or just feel wrong. This edition of Mind Body & Soul, entitled Building Health …
Internal Family Stress
Author:
2019-02-26 12:05:23
By Frady Kess, LCSW I am depressed and it’s hard to get out of bed in the morning. I am so anxious I can barely function. I am stuck and don’t know what to do next. I am really angry and can’t move on. Therapists hear statements like this very often. People describe the symptoms that bring them into treatment and often talk about the many things they have tried in order to get these problems to go away. Depress …
Introduction August 2016
Author:
2016-08-24 09:56:25
Dear Readers. There are all types of unhealthy relationships and many reasons why people stay in them. For those who haven’t experienced this but who have played the confidant to someone in an unhealthy relationship, it can be understandable, from a practical standpoint, why people stay, Perhaps the person’s reasons for staying in the relationship are financial, or maybe it’s the feeling that if one makes a commitment, on …
Introduction August 2017
Author: Lisa Twerski, LCSW
2017-08-28 15:45:45
When it comes to childrearing, there are so many decisions to be made. One major area is schooling and all the decisions that go into making sure our children have the healthiest experience they can have in the place they spend the majority of their day. One of the reasons this can become anxiety- provoking is the fact that each child is different, and can require so many different things, depending on so many factors. More than one child can mea …
Introduction November 2015
Author: Lisa Twersky LCSW
2015-11-25 00:00:00
Dear Readers, Sarah*, a single young woman in her twenties, was talking to me about needing to make some changes. She described an incident that she was deeply uncomfortable with, which she felt she needed to do something about. Sarah and her friend Tzippy* got into a disagreement, and Tzippy said something that Sarah found very hurtful. Sarah’s response was to break down crying, unable to relay what she was feeling and express herse …
Introduction - Integration
Author:
2019-02-26 12:33:46
By Lisa Twerski, LCSW What is integration in a psychological sense and why is it important in our lives? An individual’s internal experience of self is understood to mean that one is fully connected with all parts of themselves and their life experiences, rather than in denial about those that are too painful. This is not to say that it’s possible to be completely aware of all of our thoughts, but rather that, in a general sense, the …
Introduction August 2015
Author:
2015-08-26 00:00:00
Recently a very tragic – very public – suicide has become fodder for countless news outlets, front page stories, blogs, and even more conversations. People who knew the young woman who jumped twenty stories to her death only tangentially, or not at all, expressed very strong ideas about what had happened, why it happened and whose fault it was. Everybody seems to have an opinion and something to say. When a tragedy such as this one oc …
Introduction December 2016
Author: Lisa Twerski
2016-11-23 12:38:21
When we look at others who are engaging in self-destructive behavior, the easiest way for us to understand what we are looking at is to relate it to our own experience, as we often have more compassion and understanding for ourselves than for the other guy. If I’m judging someone who has lost everything to an addiction, or illegal or illicit behavior, etc., and I’ve never come close to being caught up in anything of that nature &ndash …
Introduction February 2015
Author:
2015-03-01 00:00:00
Today, a frum person has so many options to choose from about the kinds of mental health services he or she needs. When once there were only a few providers, today there are more and more frum professionals training in psychiatry, psychology, social work, nursing, coaching and pastoral counseling. In addition, specialty fields such as trauma, sex abuse, addiction, marriage counseling, sex therapy, CBT, DBT and many others have grown, and Jewish m …
Introduction February 2018
Author:
2018-02-26 12:34:39
Introduction February 2018 By Lisa Twerski, LCSW What needs to be disclosed? For many of us, this question conjures up thoughts of shidduchim and mental health. Dr. Pamela Siller tackles many of these issues, both from the perspective of the law, the considerations of the clinician and the worries of the person in shidduchim and his or her family. Elizabeth Carmen talks about one of the kinds of disclosures we may be asked to make for shidduch pu …
Finding Acceptance: Remembering Ronnie, Z”L A Tribute to Rabbi Ronald Greenwald
Author: Hindie M. Klein, PsyD
2016-02-29 00:00:00
The world and I awoke on Wednesday, January 20, the 10th day of Shevat, to the devastating news that Rabbi Ronnie Greenwald was gone. Impossible to imagine, since for so many and for so long, the world was so often supported and sustained by Ronnie’s strength, compassion and benevolence. Ronnie was a champion of the human spirit, a man who always sought out truth, goodness and decency. He was passionate about helping his fellow Jew; h …
Introduction July 2017
Author:
2017-06-29 13:27:29
By Lisa Twerski Embracing Mental Illness. The words alone must create some confusion and much head-scratching. After all, why would we want to embrace mental illness? Aren’t we trying to cure it? Isn’t mental illness something that nobody wants to experience, and nobody wants to embrace? The short answer is yes, we do try to cure it, but the realistic answer is that it is not always possible, and the long answer is that even when it i …
Introduction June 2018
Author:
2018-05-31 10:09:54
By Rabbi Dr. Yehuda Krohn, Psy. D Let’s try a brief experiment. I’m going to share a word or two with you. As you read the word, I want you to pay attention to any emotions that may arise within you. Then, I want you to rate your experience on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 representing almost no emotion and 10 signaling emotions that are so intense they’re “off the charts.” Ready? Here’s the first wor …
Introduction March 2017
Author: Lisa Twerski
2017-02-22 13:13:44
When I think of the concept of “enhancing our relationships,” I think of two scenarios: either a mutual process where two people are working together, or a situation when someone is trying to improve a relationship without the active cooperation of the other person, someone who is working on themselves in relation to the other person. All too often, when people come in …
Introduction March 2017
Author: Lisa Twerski
2017-02-20 13:59:34
When I think of the concept of “enhancing our relationships,” I think of two scenarios: either a mutual process where two people are working together, or a situation when someone is trying to improve a relationship without the active cooperation of the other person, someone who is working on themselves in relation to the other person. All too often, when people come in …
Introduction May 2016
Author: Lisa Twerski, LCSW
2016-05-25 00:00:00
It’s that time of year again. Spring is in the air, summer is soon to follow. Everyone is out more, enjoying the nice weather. Children are playing ball, riding bikes, and maybe opting out of the stuffy school bus and walking home with their friends instead. Time to talk about safety. Have you made sure your children wear a helmet when they ride their bike? Check. Talked to them about not darting out into the street after a runaway ball? Ch …
Thriving Relationships
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2020-02-27 20:39:47
Dear Readers, Welcome to the newest edition of Mind, Body & Soul. Its theme is Surviving and Thriving. In this issue, we consider the lifelong journey from simply surviving to actually thriving. Sara Teichman points us toward a form of empathy that supports our children when they face bullying and teasing. Rachel Roshenholtz reminds us to model resilience for our children. Eitan Zerykier provides us with tools and meditations to ge …
Introduction November 2017
Author:
2017-11-28 12:12:57
By Yehuda Krohn, PsyD A little over a month ago, many of us were present in shul when Megillas Kohelles was read. In perhaps the best known section of Kohelles, the beginning of the third chapter, we are introduced to the notion that there is a time and season for every object under the heavens. What is remarkable about what follows – a time to give birth, a time to die; a time to plant, a time to uproot; and each of the subsequent pairings …
Introduction: November 2014
Author: Lisa Twerski, LCSW
2014-11-25 00:00:00
In contemplating the theme of this issue of Mind Body & Soul, so many possibilities of what it might mean to “face one’s fears” come to mind, both in the general context of life, and specifically, in the context of mental health and mental illness. Our own individual circumstances are the not the only times we find ourselves facing our fears, or trying to avoid doing so. As a community, there are times when we must act colle …
Is Your Spouse Your Best Friend?
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R, DHL
2022-03-08 15:39:09
A recent Gemara from the Daf Yomi (Moded Kattan 7b) discusses in what situations a Cohen would inspect a metzora on Chol Hamoed. The deciding factor is will it result in an improvement of his situation instead of a worsening. When a metzora is declared definitely afflicted with Tzoraas by the Cohen, he must leave the Jewish camp and be in isolation, however he is still permitted to engage in marital relations. Once he is declared by the Cohen tha …
It Is Not Just About The Books
Author: Rabbi Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2022-03-08 15:50:05
Dear readers, Welcome to the February edition of Mind Body & Soul, themed Relationships in Crisis. This issue examines crises - situations that threaten the status quo - through the lenses of multiple relationships, ranging from marriage, to caregiving, to sober living. In addition, it pays special attention to a crisis that recently erupted into the consciousness of the Jewish community – that of child sexual abuse. …
Its Not On Me
Author: Tzipora Shub, LCSW
2021-09-01 20:49:45
My trusty 2008 Honda Accord was in the shop (it had been acting a bit less trusty than usual), and my very generous friend who was going out of the country on vacation offered me her brand new Toyota Corolla to use while she was away. It’s sleek, compact, smooth, and still has the new car smell. We were getting along great, the car and I, until it started telling me what to do. (I see some married people nodding at this point. You get it). …
Jewish Stories for Self-Esteem and Personal Growth
Author: Tina Kahn, LMHC, LMFT
2020-08-31 20:39:48
Stories have always intrigued people of all ages. They engage and stimulate us on both a cognitive and emotional level, leaving us open to receive their deepest messages, whether they are how to achieve self-esteem, experience personal growth, or gain a connection with the Ribbono Shel Olam. Welcome to my storybook, which you can interpret and relate to on any level. There is a story told about a rebbe giving counseling to his followers. Th …
Jews, Addiction And The Effects of COVID.
Author:
2020-12-04 12:28:41
She was a Jewish girl, very active in Chabad, in her late 30’s, with two teenage kids. “A very popular person,” Rabbi Avi Richler, founder of Chabad of Glouchester County, remembered. “I knew she was using prescription medication and that she had been in a car accident 5-10 years before. One day she called me and said ‘Rabbi, there’s no food in my house.’ I went to Shop Rite, filled the …
Just in Time
Author: Rabbi Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.,
2022-11-30 19:16:40
Mordy, a 40-something father of three, has been meeting with me for about a year. We focus on issues of intimacy, productivity, and accountability. His wife, Leah, works downtown, in an
executive position. Mordy’s graphic design job allows him to work part-time from home. He is present for their children, and manages assorted household responsibilities.
Mordy struggles, though, to follow through on tasks. The work-projects he unde …
Just in Time
Author: Yehuda Krohn, PsyD
2021-06-03 11:25:43
Author’s note: The privacy and confidentiality of individuals found in this narrative was safeguarded, by modifying identifying details. Mordy, a 40-something father of three, has been meeting with me for about a year. We focus on issues of intimacy, productivity, and accountability. His wife, Leah, works downtown, in an executive position. Mordy’s graphic design job allows him to work part-time from home. He …
Just in Time
Author:
2021-06-02 12:38:00
Author’s note: The privacy and confidentiality of individuals found in this narrative was safeguarded, by modifying identifying details. Mordy, a 40-something father of three, has been meeting with me for about a year. We focus on issues of intimacy, productivity, and accountability. His wife, Leah, works downtown, in an executive position. Mordy’s graphic design job allows him to work part-time from home. He …
Kids in Isolation
Author: Sarah Levy, PhD
2020-08-31 20:22:04
It started to spread like wildfire in Israel. No, I’m not referring to the coronavirus itself, but to the phenomenon of kids in isolation, or what is known in Hebrew as “bidud.” My daughters’ friends who lived in another city called to inform them of how they were preparing for a 14-day bidud after some classmates had tested positive for coronavirus. Some of these friends sounded excited as they described the mini fridge t …
Laugh With Me
Author: Michael J. Salamon, PhD
2017-02-22 13:13:19
There are a slew of variables that have been assessed to determine what predicts marital satisfaction: Attitudes, personality, temperament, interests, life goals, and intimacy are but a few of the ones shown to contribute to marital happiness. One variable, however, is not often included, but has been proven to impact marital contentment: humor. Apparently, the use of humor, which things a couple finds funny, how jokes are told to one another and …
LChaim To Life
Author: Michael J. Salamon, Ph.D., FICCP
2017-08-28 15:29:48
I recently saw a 12-year-old boy drinking bourbon at a party. He was making faces as he absorbed the burn of the liquid. I asked him who gave him the drink. “A friend,” he replied. “Do you like it?” I asked. “It’s uchy.” “So why drink it?” “I drink it so I can be part of their group,” was his honest, and very naïve, response. I followed him around for a few minutes and saw tha …
Living in Real Time
Author: Eitan Zerykier
2019-11-29 11:49:45
What is it like when you cannot find an item that you need, your child whines, or you see someone toss an entire meal’s worth of McDonald’s wrappers and soda bottles out their window? Frustrating, annoying, and disgusting? Our brain automatically sends us messages in response to what we see, hear, or experience around us. What we do next defines how we live our lives. No one will remember what you were thinking, only how you behaved. …
Looking Forward To the New School Year
Author: Rachel Rosenholtz, LCSW
2017-08-28 15:34:29
What is that deep feeling of relief washing over parents across the globe? Oh yes, school is almost here! As happy as parents were for the much needed break of summer, parents are just as happy at this point to wave goodbye as their children cruise down the road in the big yellow school bus. You are looking forward–but maybe your child is not. As the first day of school approaches, maybe you notice subtle differences in your chi …
Love in the Face of Pain
Author: Pamela P. Siller, MD
2016-08-24 09:56:17
They may not want it. They may not know they need it. But you need to know better. Discipline. Boundaries. The foundation of knowing how to navigate through society. You may not think that this applies to children with mental illness. However, structure is paramount for children, including those struggling with issues such as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Oppositional Behaviors, Mood Disorders... t …
Lowering the Temperature
Author: Sara Teichman, PsyD
2016-11-23 12:38:47
When you look into your children’s eyes, do you sometimes shudder to think of the parent you have become? Here’s what I mean: You wake up every morning with the best of intentions, determined to keep your cool and be positive with your children. But, like failed dieting, your resolve melts sooner or later in the day, when a child spills a drink, or you are late again, or there is just too much stuff for one set of parents to deal with …
Managing Mood Disorders
Author: Michael J. Salamon, Ph.D.
2016-02-29 00:00:00
Moods are a psychological state of mind, and are different from personality. Personality traits linger, varying very little over decades, while moods tend to not remain rigid. A mood is best described as both a general and an internal state of feeling. People have good moods and bad moods, and these moods can and should change. Everyone experiences variations in their mood. If a person has mood shifts that are mild and the shifts occur only on oc …
Marital Compatibility and Communication and Why They Are Overrated
Author: Alan M. Singer, Ph.D., LMSW
2017-08-28 15:42:12
When one thinks of marital problems, two primary issues generally come to mind: compatibility and communication. Contrary to popular belief, compatibility is not something you have–it is something you create. It is about how you speak to each other, how well you get along, and how you move through time together. Rarely do couples call me for a counseling appointment and mention a lack of compatibility as their primary issue, even thou …
METHODOLOGIES FOR CHANGE WITHIN THE CONTEXT OF A DATING/MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP
Author:
2018-09-04 12:03:46
By: Marcy Davidovics, LCSW The couple sitting before me were dating for 6 months. After ups and downs and working through the logistical, emotional, and practical components of their relationship, they seemed to be making headway. It was now down to one perception that one of them labeled as seemingly “non-negotiable.” They felt stuck. The concern had nothing to do with character traits or negative behavior, for those are not f …
Mirrors and Therapeutic Listening
Author: Kalman Canant, LCSW, CSAT
2017-02-22 13:13:15
Exactly who are you? You are indeed unique, and no one else is quite the same. But what makes you you? Well, part of the answer is your appearance. Other people spot you in a crowd and recognize your likeness. They know it’s you. The way you look identifies you to others, and your appearance is part of your self-identity as well. How do you know what you look like, though? As part of the human condition, your eyes can only look outwards, an …
Misdiagnosed: Overlooked medical issues and their effects on children’s behaviors
Author:
2017-11-28 12:12:48
By Rachel Rosenholtz, LCSW *Names and circumstances have been altered to protect client privacy He’s out of control. David is constantly fighting with kids in his class and taking things from them, often unprovoked. He has been this way since he entered preschool a year ago. He is defiant at school and aggressive at home. Leah has a difficult time focusing and following instructions. She often appear …
Mothers and Daughters: Open Communication
Author: Sarah Lewis-Levy, PhD
2015-05-31 00:00:00
In my generation, many girls found out–not from their mothers, but from talking to friends–about what to anticipate when their body changes. In the backs of buses, during private moments with friends, whispers, giggles, sleepovers, sleep-away camp–that’s where much of the education still takes place today. As Jewish mothers, don’t we want to be the one to impart the joy and holiness of our femininity to our daughters …
Mussar or Marriage Counseling?
Author:
2015-03-01 00:00:00
Chaya Feuerman LCSW-R Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R The frustrations people experience in marriage are actually opportunities. According to Chazal, when Man was first created, he was a double being, with two faces and two sides. One side was male and the other was female (Rashi, Bereishis 1:27). This suggests that a human being is not complete unless he or she has successfully integrated both the male and female aspects of his or her perso …
My Fear That You Won’t Seek Help for Estrangement
Author: Alan M. Singer, PhD
2021-02-25 17:45:02
Estrangement is commonly defined as the intentional choice by one or more relatives to end contact because of an ongoing negative relationship. Primarily based on emotions, not facts, estrangement can bring unimaginable heartbreak to families. I implore you to seek help if the above describes you, as the numbers are staggering. Twenty-seven percent of Americans eighteen and older have cut off contact with a family member: 10% parent/child, …
Narcissism: Self Love Disordered
Author: Dvorah Levy, LCSW
2019-11-30 22:05:17
In the last edition of The Jewish Press’s Mind, Body and Soul, I published an article on attachment templates. In my article, I described a woman struggling to heal from a narcissistic relationship with her ex-husband only to find herself drawn to narcissists when she began dating again. In response, multiple individuals reached out to me wanting to talk about their relationship with a narcissist. Due to the interest this sparked, I thought …
Nature versus Nurture: An Age-Old Debate
Author: Marlene Greenspan, MA, LPC
2015-11-25 00:00:00
Part of the great debate of nurture versus nature includes the question of: who influences the student more, the family or the school? How important is it for children to be coddled and guided both at home and at school? Nowadays, children attend school almost as soon as they can walk, starting with a toddler program at just two years old (or younger). Some families prefer to have small groups of children rotating houses with parents serving as & …
NEFESH INTERNATIONAL 18th Annual Conference
Author: Yeta Solomon, LCSW
2014-11-25 00:00:00
What does a highly successful, international mental health organization do after it has attracted many hundreds of members worldwide, and coordinated 17 outstanding conferences? It does what NEFESH International is about to do. It does it again, of course. NEFESH is proud and very excited to announce the Eighteenth Annual Conference to take place on Sunday and Monday, December 28th and 29th, 2014, at the Hyatt Regency in Hauppauge, New Yor …
On Choosing a Spouse: Looking for Love in All the Right Places
Author:
2017-06-29 13:26:46
By Elisheva Liss, MA, LMFT Selecting a spouse is possibly the most momentous decision that we humans make over the course of a lifetime. We are choosing our roommate, co-parent, romantic partner, teammate, and closest companion – ideally, for life. We live in an era in which we have more autonomy and opportunity than ever before in history, we seem to be more emotionally complex, and we demand more of our love relationships than in any othe …
“Overstanding” Your Child
Author: Sara Teichman, Psy.D.
2016-02-29 00:00:00
Is your daughter a drama queen who holds you hostage with her tales of woe? Does your son want you to fight his battles with the hanhala of his yeshiva? Do your kids expect you to provide entertainment when they bleat “Maaa, I’m so bored…”? Do you sometimes long for the days when kids were “seen but not heard”? In our rational moments, we know that we do not want to go back to that old mentality. We do want ou …
Overview of Addictions
Author:
2015-03-01 00:00:00
Rabbi Dr. Abraham J. Twerski We know that people may become addicted to alcohol or drugs. There are a number of other common addictions: cigarettes, food, gambling, sex, shopping, the internet. Although addiction cannot be precisely defined, we may say that anytime a person loses control over a behavior that he wishes to control (or should wish to control), that is addiction. We do not know what causes addiction.In addition to psychological/emoti …
Parent Child Relationship Building: The Power of Praise
Author:
2017-11-28 12:12:31
By Regine Galanti, Ph.D. A parent was recently in my office to discuss her young daughter’s defiant behavior. She described noticing that, in her relationship with her children, she’s constantly busy with them, but rarely gives them her full attention, especially if they’re not misbehaving. As a parent, I can relate. My children take up almost all of my time, cooking their dinners, supervising homework, shepherding them between …
Parental Approval and the Adult Child
Author: Sara Schapiro-Halberstam, MHC-LP, CASAC
2016-02-29 00:00:00
“I don’t know why I cry... I cry because for the first time since I hated you, I remember that I loved you…” (Lyrics by Gwen Stefani). Adolescents and adult children often openly defy their parents’ wishes. Be it religious differences, career issues, or lifestyle matters, adult children make different choices than their parents, hoping that their parents will someday agree with the decisions they’ve made. When …
Parenting a Child with Mental Illness
Author: Sarah Kahan, LCSW
2015-08-26 00:00:00
“Hello Yehudis, how can I help you?” “I heard you have a residence for adults with mental illness. My son, who just turned 20, is in the psych ward for the third time this year. I am no longer able to care for him at home and I am imploring you for help. Do you know what it’s like to have a child who doesn’t want to take his medication and doesn’t come out of his room for days, doesn’t shower, and on …
Parenting Your Anxious Child
Author: Rachel Factor, MSW
2014-11-25 00:00:00
You have your sweet, intelligent, imaginative and creative child. A child who has clearly been blessed with endless potential and depth, a child that can blow your mind away with the most interesting questions you’ve ever been asked (which you only wished you could answer). The problem, or better said, the challenge, is that your child also has anxiety. You see, it’s part of this package deal. But there is good news; anxiety re …
Pedaling with a Purpose
Author: Tzipora Shub, LCSW
2020-06-01 22:13:56
It’s a well-known fact that the sorry fate of most eagerly purchased exercise bikes is to end up as a glorified clothing hanger—and not just for the clean clothing. In having pondered this life’s mystery at length, I have come to the conclusion that one potential reason for this is the futility of the activity of pedaling on a stationary bike. The idea of working so hard and getting nowhere fast, seems to go against the nature o …
The Power of Apology
Author: Sara Teichman, Psy.D.
2016-08-24 09:56:07
We’ve all been there. A loved one says “sorry” and we feel uneasy and confused. On one hand, it seems ungracious to refuse an apology; on the other, the apology feels empty and insincere. Because the other person has apologized, he feels that the matter is closed. So, unsettled as we may feel, we let it go… and the resentment begins to build. For those readers who have trouble recognizing this pattern, visit any schoolyar …
Praiseworthy Children
Author: Shaya Hecht, LMSW, CASAC-T
2015-08-26 00:00:00
Praise can be a very effective tool in reinforcing your child’s actions. Many parents seem to be resistant to praising their child, arguing that: “Praise doesn’t work… I don’t want to praise him too much because then he/she will get spoiled… I sound like a broken record when I tell my child “good job” every few minutes…” and similar excuses. It is important to note that although …
Precious Memories
Author: Rabbi Joshua Marder, MA, LMFT
2019-08-30 14:28:04
Relationship Insight: Research and experience teach us that children need to feel safe, secure, and comfortable within themselves and the environment around them. To accomplish this security, they seek proximity to their parents or other caregivers. As adults, we also need to feel safe, secure, and comfortable in our environment and within ourselves. And we also seek out safety, security, and comfort from our loved ones. As adults, we learn …
Preparing to Reopen a Post-trauma World
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
2020-08-31 19:35:51
Well, it seems like it's finally happening; after all of these surreal days and weeks and months, we are starting to reopen. But how do we prepare for a post-traumatic stress-flavored world? With all the talk about reopening, we still find ourselves just as torn and conflicted as we’ve been for the past three months. Along with an ideological civil war acting as the icing on the pandemic cake. The only consistent theme of this COVID-19 era …
Prevention is so much more
Author: Dr. Shani Zoldan-Verschleiser, AuD., LCSW
2022-03-08 15:30:10
The sexual abuse of children is very different than adult sexual abuse and needs to be handled in very different ways. With Child Sexual Abuse (CSA), physical force or violence is rarely used. The perpetrators more often try to manipulate a child’s trust and hide the abuse. The perpetrator, most of the time, is known and trusted to the child. The abuse often occurs over many weeks or even years and is typically repeated, becoming more invas …
Protecting Our Children from Abuse
Author: Sara Teichman, PsyD
2022-03-08 15:46:52
With all the recent press about the latest abuse scandal, parents have abuse on their mind. They worry- How would I know that my child is a victim? They feel powerless- How can I make sure my child is not abused? Because most abuse is done behind closed doors, detection is a challenge. It is typical that a child does not tell, particularly about sexual abuse, on his own. He may be afraid [‘I’ll kill your father if you tel …
Putting the Jew in Jewelry
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R, DHL
2022-11-29 20:42:44
On a recent daf yomi (Kesuvos 63) we heard about the great sacrifices that Rochel made to support her husband, the famous Rabbi Akiva, in his study of Torah. As the well-known story goes, Rabbi Akiva was unlettered and unlearned, but Rochel saw great character and potential in him. She married him even though her wealthy father disowned her, and she endured 24 years of poverty while her husband studied Torah abroad.
When she finally sees he …
Raising Resilient Children: Rising to the Challenges of Today and Tomorrow
Author: Chaya Drucker, MSW, LCSW, ACSW
2015-08-26 00:00:00
As loving parents, we understandably long to protect our precious children from all suffering, risks, hardships, and adversity. Yet we recognize that this is neither possible nor ultimately desirable, since we will not be permanently available to serve as their shield against the demands and difficulties of life. Furthermore, we realize that each person’s challenges constitute a customized crucible, divinely ordained to actualize his …
Reassurance: An Anxiety Management Tool with Rona Novick's New Children's Book, "Mommy Can You Stop the Rain?"
Author: Rona Milch Novick, PhD
2021-02-25 17:49:51
Children are scaredy cats! They are anxious in the dark, may shrink from costumed characters at birthday parties, and even in their school and teen years have numerous worries about their academic performance and social standing. How do children conquer their normal or potentially debilitating fears? Sometimes, they outgrow them and sometimes the efforts of caring, reassuring adults are needed to help them move past the fear. &n …
Relationship Rules: A Primer
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-02-22 13:13:11
In my practice, I’ve found that there are two aspects of relationships that clients consistently want to discuss. One aspect generally pertains to those who are considering a relationship and those who are in the beginning phase of a new relationship. The other aspect is usually brought up later on in the relationship—sometimes relatively early on, and sometimes after years of marriage. People interested in forming a relationsh …
Relative Connections
Author:
2017-06-29 13:25:44
By Marlene Greenspan, MA, LP Relatives come in all different ways. Some are closer and others are farther, both geographically and emotionally. No matter how mature some people may be, when they find themselves close to their parents, they may regress in behavior, attitude, and speech. Relationships reflect these connections and present as problems on many levels when grown-ups, without even realizing it, relapse into their adolescent roles …
Resilience and its Pitfalls
Author: Fraidy Zeidman M.S. Ed, LMHC
2020-08-31 20:33:50
Resilience is touted by scientists as one of the prime ingredients necessary to navigate life’s challenges. Merriam Webster dictionary defines resilience as “an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change." We often look towards children, with their positive outlooks on life, as a great example of resilience, to understand its benefits. While the advantages of resilience are numerous, let’s look at the …
Resilience for Healthy Living
Author: Douglas Balin, LMSW, MPA
2022-11-29 22:17:58
Resilience can be thought of as G-ds natural medication for a healthier and thriving life. We can learn a great deal from resilient people and each one of us can take advantage of this wonderful and holistic tool to stay physically and emotionally healthy. Some have it innately; most of us must learn the secrets. The best part is, we can all learn to become resilient. We can train ourselves to improve our lives and obtain the skills and knowledge …
Resilient Parents Increase Time with Children Despite Work Pressures
Author: Alan M. Singer PhD
2020-08-31 19:38:27
The “latest research” gets copious amounts of media attention as trends come and go. Remember way back in the 90’s when parents used to put their infants to sleep on their stomachs? Now, in 2020, you wouldn’t dare do such a thing! How about some years ago when large amounts of beta-carotene could supposedly prevent cancer? Now, in 2020, it’s beta-what …
Resistant to Change: Can a Treatment- Resistant Client Be Helped?
Author: Chaya Rubin, Ph.D.
2022-11-29 20:02:47
There used to be a popular joke about psychologists that went as follows: Q: How many
psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? A: That depends on if the light bulb
wants to change.
The mutative process in therapy is no laughing matter, though, and mental health
professionals differ in their understanding of these mechanisms. The most popular
therapeutic methods, namely behavioral therapies, hum …
RESOURCES ON COVID19
Author: NEFESH
2020-03-08 15:42:08
Dear NEFESH Community, There are many resources available to help navigate the coronavirus. Below are links to a number of them which you may find useful. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ADD ANY RESOURCES IN THE COMMENTS BELOW. We wish a refuah shelaima to all those who are ill, refuas Hanefesh and refuas Haguf. Rabbi Dr. Fox Lecture Rabbi Dr. Fox Lecture 2 Dr. Aaron Glatt and Dr. Norman Blumenthal (Ohel) https://www.yutorah.org/lectur …
Reward and Punishment
Author: Rabbi Dr. Joel Rosenshein, Ph.D.
2017-08-28 15:36:41
In today's day and age, there seems to be a popular belief that children should not be raised in the old method of reward or punishment. When we look around, however, it is apparent that many of our present problems with our children come down to our spoiling them, perhaps more so than in any previous generation. Although there is a need to praise more than to discipline, to reward more than to discipline, it is still essential to provide consequ …
Reward and Punishment when Raising Children – A Second Look
Author: Chana Mark, LCSW
2014-11-25 00:00:00
Many parents use a system of rewards and punishments to help change children’s behavior. This idea has come down to us from behavioral psychology as part of what is known as “operant conditioning.” This phrase is simply the following: Reinforcement means increasing the frequency or duration of desirable behavior. “If you go to bed on time for the whole week, I will give you a prize at the end of the week.” Pun …
Rising above
Author: Pamela P. Siller, MD
2018-12-04 12:32:32
By Pamella Siller, MD Text and Image published in in collaboration with the Jewish Press 2002 Rochel pulled the covers even more tightly over her head in a futile attempt to drown out the sounds. She knew, without looking, that her father had been drinking too much at the Weinstein’s L’Chaim, and he would be mean tonight. She was dreading the next day, knowing that she would not be able to hide the dark circles under her eyes after a …
Rising Above Pittsburg
Author: By Yehuda Krohn Psy.D
2018-12-04 11:49:06
By Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D Text and Image published in collaboration with the Jewish Press. There are situations in life that hold us back from reaching our fullest potential. They essentially keep us down. Some situations derive from our environment. They are about transitions, related to work, school, or even the change of seasons. Some hit closer to home, as with the experience of trauma or even the recent birth of a child, yet others are harder t …
Rising to Meet New Motherhood: SELF care in the Postpartum Period
Author: Dr. Sarah J. Miller
2018-12-04 12:26:50
Text and Image published in in collaboration with the Jewish Press Angry cries pierce the silence of a still house in the dead of night. It’s time for that 3 a.m. feeding again. Or is it? Blearily wiping your eyes, you glance at the clock. Actually it’s 1:52, and the baby has been up three times already since midnight. Sighing, you fumble for a pacifier. It’s going to be a long night. Becoming a new mother, even for the second, …
Safe Relationships Facilitate Family Well-Being
Author: Dr. Alan M. Singer
2022-08-31 15:54:46
Hollywood has led us to believe that the fundamentals of a good marriage are: love, passion, infatuation, romance, and chemistry. In my professional opinion, those are the tier two fundamentals. The vital tier one fundamentals are: respect, empathy, friendship, forgiveness, trust, and safety, which is the focus of this essay. www.Shalomtaskforce.org Back in the early days of domestic violence awareness and prevention, safety in relationshi …
Safety or Security?
Author: Menachem Hojda LMSW
2022-08-31 17:31:06
Like so many others, I watched the videos of the police response in Uvalde, Texas with shock and disappointment. The scene brought me back to the afternoon just months earlier when a shooter attacked Oxford High School just 30 miles north of my home. As President of my local public-school board, and a mental health professional on the county’s crisis response team, I found myself at the intersection of school governance and community respon …
Scare
Author: Sara Teichman, PsyD
2021-06-03 11:23:41
Is your child a real scaredy cat? With every noise your house makes, he reacts by crying, hiding under his bed or in the closet. He won’t go into the swimming pool or to a friend’s house. Climbing in the park or going on rides at amusement parks – don’t even think about it! So, how do we help him become brave? We want him to face new things, to trust himself to handle different experiences, and to use his body …
Scared
Author:
Is your child a real scaredy cat? With every noise your house makes, he reacts by crying, hiding under his bed or in the closet. He won’t go into the swimming pool or to a friend’s house. Climbing in the park or going on rides at amusement parks – don’t even think about it! So, how do we help him become brave? We want him to face new things, to trust himself to handle different experiences, and to use his body …
Scared
Author: Sara Teichman, PsyD
2021-06-02 12:07:13
Is your child a real scaredy cat? With every noise your house makes, he reacts by crying, hiding under his bed or in the closet. He won’t go into the swimming pool or to a friend’s house. Climbing in the park or going on rides at amusement parks – don’t even think about it! So, how do we help him become brave? We want him to face new things, to trust himself to handle different experiences, and to use his body …
School: Throw a Fit, Grin and Bear it or Hey, Let's See How we Can Benefit! How to end the daily power struggle over school and help your child thrive.
Author: Rachel Rosenholtz, LCSW-R
2018-12-04 12:30:02
Text and Image published in in collaboration with the Jewish Press “Why do I have to do all this dumb work? It's so boring. How is this going to help me anyway?” “Jake, for the 20th time, go do your homework!” “I'm not going to school, you can't make me.” Does this sound familiar? This is a picture of a child resisting and avoiding something in life that makes him miserable. A perfectly natural re …
Shifra, Puah and PMADs
Author:
2019-02-26 11:59:03
By Michael Bleicher, LCSW From the time we read Parshas Shemos until we read Parshas Tetzaveh, we find ourselves in a period of the Jewish calendar known as “Shovavim Tat,” an acronym made of the first letter of Parshios Shemos through Tetzaveh. During this time in Jewish communities across the world, husbands and wives dedicate extra energy and time to fortifying their marriages. From reviewing the technical laws of family purit …
Sober Kiddushes and Sober-Brengens
Author:
2017-11-28 12:12:45
By Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D. Author’s note: The privacy and confidentiality of individuals found in this narrative was safeguarded, by modifying identifying details. Our session began, as scheduled, the Sunday after Simchas Torah. I waited for Moe to choose a starting point. He opened with “Well, Yom Tov was fine. It was really draining, though.” I thought I knew what Moe meant: There …
Sparks of Light
Author: Shaindy Urman
2015-05-31 00:00:00
You should hear the stories. My G-d, if only you heard some of the stories. The mother who punched her small child in the chest. The father who threw his daughter down a flight of stairs. The man who has nightmares, decades later, about the counselor in camp who violated him. Women who are afraid the moment their husband comes home from work. Newborn babies in intensive care, detoxing from their mother’s drug use. Toddlers left home alone f …
Standing in Silence
Author:
2018-05-31 09:58:00
By Dvora Entin, LCSW Several years ago, I had the privilege of accompanying a couple on a very painful path of medical care and difficult choices for their newly delivered child. This family had reached out to rabbonim months before the due date to plan a halachicly guided course of decision making and spent many hours devoted to preparatory palliative care and planning for the many outcomes both expected and unexpected. When that bab …
Standing Your Ground
Author: Zahavah Selinger, LMHC
2016-05-25 00:00:00
What do you do when you have a friend going through a difficult time and is relying on you too much for support? It could be difficult letting them know this because you want to be there for them, yet your tolerance slowly dwindles until you get to the point where you are so frustrated, you remove yourself completely from the situation. Being on either side is not comfortable. Someone who needs so much support is likely not getting it from the ri …
Staying The Course of Parenting
Author: Rabbi Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2021-11-28 19:32:32
Dear Readers Welcome to the November issue of Mind Body & Soul, titled “staying the course”. The term “staying the course” may not be familiar to everyone. Staying the course, in its most literal sense, refers to those on a sea journey, facing forces – be they powerful storms, loss of power, or even pirates – that jeopardize their reaching an intended destination. A skilled traveler calmly adjusts in a mann …
Staying The Course of Therapy
Author: Pamela P. Siller, MD
2021-11-27 23:37:16
Patients frequently question their mental health professionals as to what action they should take in any given circumstance. Most want advice about marriage, children, jobs and coworkers, while others have concerns about other relationships. One of the most complicated of these, which can cause the most angst, and possible detriment, is the therapeutic relationship. ______________________________________ Miri is an 18-year-old g …
Stopping the Stigma
Author: Bin Goldman, PsyD
2016-05-25 00:00:00
Mental illness hurts, but it is something acceptable, a decree from God that we can’t control, but that we can usually treat. Stigma also hurts, but it is not acceptable. The suffering that people experience from mental health problems is not limited to the symptoms of their particular disorder, but is multiplied and expanded by stigma. Our community can and must understand the stigma of mental illness and its effects, and mobilize to reduc …
SUCCESS!!! How to help your child survive and thrive in challenging situations
Author: Rachel Rosenholtz, LCSW-R
2020-02-27 20:05:47
“I can’t do it!” “Sure you can, honey; you’re great at this.” “I’m so dumb.” “No, you’re not. You’re one of the smartest kids in your class, your teacher even told me so.” Sound familiar? Have you ever wondered, “Why does my c …
SUCCESSFUL “EMOTIONAL” RETIREMENT
Author: Douglas Balin, LMSW, MPA.
2020-02-27 19:45:13
Google retirement and you will receive literally thousands of sites focusing on the financial issues facing retirees. Financial security is definitely a very important aspect of retirement but not the only one and perhaps not even the most critical for a happy retirement. For the person who is either preparing for retirement or who is already retired, the emotional and mental health of the golden years can define the success or failure of th …
Survive versus Thrive
Author: Pamela Siller, MD
2020-02-27 20:20:43
The Merriam Webster dictionary defines survival as “to remain alive or in existence.” This requires the very basic necessities of life, such as food, water, oxygen, shelter, and sleep. However, humans are quite complex beings; they may be able to survive with when their fundamental needs are met, but they require far more in order to thrive. Thrive, as defined by the Merriam Webster dictionary, encompasses “flourish, prosper, an …
Taking Responsibility
Author: Sara Teichman, PsyD
2019-11-30 22:43:47
Taking responsibility—for our attitudes, actions, and behavior—is a sign of maturity and good mental health. So, while we can understand that a five-year-old denies taking a cookie when his face is covered with crumbs, we are less forgiving of the adolescent who cheats on a test because “all his friends do.” As we mature, we develop more of an internal locus of control, (i.e. the understanding that our behavior is the resu …
Tall Guys Don’t Jump
Author: Shimmy Feintuch, LMSW
2015-05-31 00:00:00
No disrespect to sports fans, but sports discussions are not known for their wealth of theoretic wisdom. Certainly, sports are great fun, and the pull of professional sports has even the attention of the Wall Street Journal. Articles on sports are full of analysis and postgame hindsight, but rarely philosophical insight.
And so it was to my great surprise that an innocuous conversation about basketball turned up a philosophical gem. A child …
Teenagers: Mission Impossible
Author: Alexander Rand, LCSW-R CASAC
2015-08-26 00:00:00
Raising teenagers in 2015 requires education, skill, luck, practice, and of course, prayer and God. Even with all that, it’s still not enough. We need more prayer and more God, and if you’ve ever raised a teenager, you’ll understand exactly why. Adolescence is a time when a child naturally starts to experiment with rules, challenging authority, and beginning to form his/her own identity. While that can be terrifying for parents, …
The Anatomy of Bad Middos
Author: Yehuda Krohn, PsyD
2021-06-03 14:27:30
Dear Readers Welcome to the May edition of Mind Body & Soul, themed The Soul and the Psyche. “Soul” and “psyche” represent, respectively, the spiritual and psychological dimensions of a person. Interestingly, the two terms didn’t always have different meanings. When the term psyche was first introduced, it, too, was understood to be primarily a spiritual force, one that outlasts and outlives the body. In pa …
The Anatomy of Bad Middos
Author: Yehuda Krohn, PsyD
2021-06-02 12:01:25
Dear Readers Welcome to the May edition of Mind Body & Soul, themed The Soul and the Psyche. “Soul” and “psyche” represent, respectively, the spiritual and psychological dimensions of a person. Interestingly, the two terms didn’t always have different meanings. When the term psyche was first introduced, it, too, was understood to be primarily a spiritual force, one that outlasts and outlives the body. In pa …
Staying The Course - The Big Picture
Author: Esther Gendelman, MS, LPC, CPC
2021-11-28 11:10:46
One word encapsulates the theme of staying the course. That word is LIFE. If we want to choose life, we choose to stay the course no matter what happens. Sometimes, the course is filled with pain and grief while at others, there are experiences that elicit intense joy and we savor each moment. I might be a young child whose world changed when a parent died, or a special needs sibling was born, or my parents divorced, or I experienced …
The Cell Phone Parent
Author: Michael J. Salamon, Ph.D., FICPP
2015-05-31 00:00:00
An earlier version of this article appeared on the Times of Israel. When parents ask me directly at what age they should get their children a cell phone, I generally do not answer. Despite the specificity of the question and regardless of what I say, parents make their own decisions, and these decisions usually fall into reasonably well-defined categories. Overprotective parents justify purchasing cell phones for their children while they are st …
The Change From Within
Author:
2018-09-04 10:37:35
By Lisa Twerski, LCSW When we are children, our parents can imbue us with a healthy sense of self. They love us and we feel loved, they show confidence in us and we feel self-confident, they esteem us and we feel self-esteem. They may do this by expressing these things directly. They may do this by giving us the opportunity to try and succeed or fail, showing us that we have them by our side no matter what. There are many ways parents can seek to …
The Dangers of Over Intellectualization
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R, DHL
2022-06-02 17:48:29
The recent Daf Yomi (Gemara Yevamos 14a) tells us that prior to the decision to universally follow the School of Hillel, there was a period of time where the School of Shammai followed their rulings independently. The Gemara wonders how the School of Shammai rationalized this when the general principle is that the halacha (law) is decided in accordance with the numerical majority. Since the School of Hillel was the majority, even the School of Sh …
The Effects of Teasing
Author: Marlene Greenspan, MA, LPC
2016-11-23 12:38:52
Teasing has many faces. It can be used to make jokes, it can be used to play tricks, or it can be used to hurt someone as offense or defense, to suggest a few applications. When children do it to each other, teasing can lead to bullying. In fact, teasing is really steps away from bullying, if the behavior continues and if it is becoming hurtful. When adults tease children who do not know how to respond, teasing can be very detrimental. When a chi …
The Face Behind the Mask
Author: Rachel Slochowsky LMFT, CSAT
2020-08-31 20:10:49
The Center for Disease Control and Prevention has stated that wearing masks have been proven to help protect us from Covid-19. In a world that feels so chaotic, unstable and unknown, many of us have been holding on to this theory. Just wear the mask and you’ll be safer, wear the mask and you won’t be exposed. As difficult and painful as this pandemic has been, it has brought to the surface something profound. Masks seem to be for the …
The First Step Toward Change
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2021-09-01 20:52:12
Dear Readers, Welcome to the August edition of Mind, Body & Soul, themed “Taking the first step”. I’d like you to consider the many and varied ways that people take their first steps. A baby, transitioning from crawling and cruising to walking, is literally taking his first step. Until now he did not even have the capacity to walk. Children and adults, who can already walk, sometimes feel as though they are stuck in a …
The Gift of Not-Knowing
Author: Sara Teichman, Psy.D.
2020-06-01 22:24:28
Getting to know our children is a very gradual process and an imperfect one as well. Though parents vary in their ability to read their children—some of us do better than others—there is no fool-proof way to know what another is thinking or feeling, even if that someone is our child. In general, a parent who has a high EQ (Emotional Intelligence) who is self-aware and attuned to their own thoughts, feelings, motivation, and behavior h …
The Mean Girls
Author:
It’s not just in the movies: The mean girls phenomenon is real and very much a subject of discussion today among professionals and parents alike. Unlike the boys who may be openly – and even physically – aggressive, mean girls use their words. They typically operate under the radar, far from adult view. And, no matter how many complaints there are from the other students, the mean girls continue to exclude, mock and/or tease, an …
The Mean Girls
Author: Dr. Sara Teichman, Psy.D.
2016-05-25 00:00:00
It’s not just in the movies: The mean girls phenomenon is real and very much a subject of discussion today among professionals and parents alike. Unlike the boys who may be openly – and even physically – aggressive, mean girls use their words. They typically operate under the radar, far from adult view. And, no matter how many complaints there are from the other students, the mean girls continue to exclude, mock and/or tease, an …
The meaning of ELUL
Author: Moshe Norman, LCSW
2020-08-31 20:01:26
Elul. It is a powerful and sobering time of year, a time for introspection, commitment and growth. For many it brings back memories of warm holiday spirits and long hours spent in shul davening and singing the heartwarming, seasonal songs. But for others, Elul has a completely different meaning. “I feel my whole body tense up as soon as I hear the words, ‘Rosh Chodesh ELUL.’ I constantly worry that I am going to do somethi …
The Pain of an Individual
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2020-08-31 20:43:59
Author’s note: The privacy and confidentiality of individuals found in this narrative were safeguarded, by modifying identifying details. It didn’t dawn on me during the first week of the shutdown, or even during the second or third week. The pandemic had shuttered our schools and synagogues for more than a month, before I recalled my earlier conversation with Hank. Hank is a bright, sensitive young man. …
The Power of Abuse
Author:
2017-06-29 13:25:09
Anonymous
The power of abuse
frightening and strong
leads to behaviors
irrational and wrong The power of abuse
the questions that arise
the multitude of thoughts
disbelief and lies The power of abuse
wreaks havoc on the soul
something is lacking
I feel empty, not whole The power of abuse
the drama that erupts
dealing with the abuser
the nightmare of the confronts The power …
The Power of Attachment Templates
Author: Dvorah Levy, LCSW
2019-08-30 14:20:26
What makes us attracted to one person over another? What happens when we are continuously drawn to a personality type that we know is not good for us? Is attraction, and subsequently attachment, in relation to a significant other a conscious or unconscious process? The answer to these questions lies in an understanding of attachment templates. This understanding can make a big difference in determining who we choose to be in a relationship with. …
The Power of Dreams
Author: Marlene Greenspan, MA, LPC
2015-05-31 00:00:00
Dreams come to us in different waves of experience. In the days of old, cavemen and women left pictures of dream fantasies; Shakespeare talked about his characters’ portrayal of dreams in a number of his plays. Today’s scientists have noted that individuals have different periods of dreaming in their sleep cycles, some of which are remembered while others are forgotten. Dreaming can refer to hopes that individuals have for their futur …
The Power of the 3AM Wake-up Call
Author:
2019-06-03 09:50:40
The Power of The 3 AM Wake-up Call: Shaping your child’s relationships for years to come By: Rachel Rosenholtz, LCSW-R It begins again with a 3:00 AM wake-up call. There’s no snooze button: it’s your baby and she’s hungry. After that's taken care of, she needs to be burped, changed, cuddled, and lovingly put back to sleep. Predictably, a simmering frustra …
The pressure is on:
Author:
In today’s fast paced modern world, the experience of life is assaulted upon by a relentless barrage of stress and pressure. Mommy is rushing to get everyone out of the house. Mommy and daddy are getting ready for work and I am hurriedly escorted out of my home onto the school bus. I arrive at school and spend the next seven to eight hours jumping from one subject to another. I have to keep my finger on the place and I am expected to …
The pressure is on: The impact of stress on our children and what we can do about it.
Author:
2018-02-26 12:34:02
The Pressure Is On: The Impact of Stress On Our Children and What We Can Do About It. By Rachel Rosenholtz, LCSW-R In today’s fast paced modern world, the experience of life is assaulted upon by a relentless barrage of stress and pressure. Mommy is rushing to get everyone out of the house. Mommy and daddy are getting ready for work and I am hurriedly escorted out of my home onto the school bus. I arrive at school and spend …
The Relationship Dance
Author:
2019-06-03 09:47:28
The Relationship Dance By: Dvorah Levy I asked the following question to a group of single men and women in their 50s and early 60s: “What is the hardest part about being single?” The answers given covered the lack of physical intimacy as well as the absence of someone who knows you well, with whom you can always talk and create new memories. The desire to be in a relationship with a significant other is hardwired into our very being; …
The Shifting Sandwich Generation
Author: Marlene Greenspan, MA, LPC
2016-05-25 00:00:00
The current “sandwich generation” is both aging and shifting, and includes many baby boomers. As the oldest generation leaves this earthly existence, a new sandwich generation is emerging: those who are both grandparents to grandchildren, and children to parents. Many in this generation are responsible for any combination of difficult factors: elderly spouses, unmarried siblings, and parents who are not able to function without assist …
The World of the Family Caregiver
Author: Adina Segal, LCSW
2020-08-31 20:26:37
Shani is at her wits end. She is the only child of Holocaust survivor parents. Over the years they have faced a great deal of difficulty with memory issues, forgetting to pay bills, failing to take medications properly and not remembering doctor’s appointments. Her mother calls her several times a day, forgetting that she spoke to her 10 minutes prior. Her father expresses concern about strangers coming through the window. He leaves random …
Transcending Adversity
Author: Harriet Cabelly, LCSW
2014-11-25 00:00:00
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” – Viktor Frankl Throughout life, people transcend their adversities in different ways; some people can go through a lot and be able to rise above and live well, and some people simply succumb to their circumstances. Th …
Two Ways to Experience Uncertainty, Doubt & Other Sticky Thoughts
Author: EITAN ZERYKIER, LCSW
2020-02-27 20:30:33
Will you have enough money for retirement? How long will your loved ones live? Will it rain on the day you planned your vacation? Will your next project be a failure? Did you choose the right career? What if you had gone to a different university? Should you have made that investment? Are you really married to the right person? What is it like to try and think about the past and the future? Are you feeling anxious just by reading these ques …
Understanding Assessments
Author:
2015-03-01 00:00:00
Dr. Judith Guedalia, PhD As a parent, teacher or mental health professional, we have surely, at one point or another, been bombarded with referrals to do testing or assessments. “Testing” may refer to every area in our anatomy and psyche. Some are physically intrusive, and others emotionally so. Most are expensive in time and money. What is the purpose for, and what exactly are, assessments? When a child or adult is referred fo …
Understanding Dissociative Disorders
Author: Lili Grun, LCSW-R
2016-02-29 00:00:00
Emotional, spiritual, and physical struggles faced by individuals who come for psychotherapy frequently find their origins in painful, frightening childhood experiences. People whose minds and bodies are still in a state of trauma, or who are living according to childhood survival tactics and rules of cause and effect, often lack the skills needed to lead healthy lives and have satisfying relationships. A common defense mechanism employed to cope …
Understanding Self-Injury From Our Patients
Author: Pamela P. Siller, MD
2016-11-23 12:38:56
As an intern and psychiatric resident, I was presented with a myriad of psychiatric symptoms, with varying degrees of severity. The patients, as well as their disorders, came alive for me the more time I spent with them and the more my empathy grew. To better treat my patients, I needed to understand their points of view, and I tried to see the world through their eyes. Depression and anxiety were easy to relate to, as we all have felt sad …
Understanding Why We Fight - Sara Schapiro-Halberstam, MHC-LP, CASAC & Renée Beyda
Author: Sara Schapiro-Halberstam, MHC-LP, CASAC & Renée Beyda
2017-02-22 13:13:06
Humans are peaceful creatures… when alone. Once there are two or more people sharing a project, a bank account, children, a religion, and even a country, there’s bound to be friction. Just take a look at what occurred during the 2016 election. Fiery debates sparked at dinner tables and on social media platforms, caused friction within families, between friends, and continued to do so even after the results were in! Whether discussing …
Unfinished Business
Author:
2022-03-08 15:37:34
“It’s so interesting. There are so many aspects of my wife that remind me of my mother. What’s so weird is that I promised myself I would never marry someone like her, and then I did. “I find it immensely frustrating that my wife doesn’t seem to be interested in me. My parents had many children, and my mother was constantly overwhelmed. She was also raised by Holocaust survivors and did not seem to have the emotional …
What are the dangers of vaping nicotine and marijuana to the Jewish community? Here is the unvarnished truth.
Author: Dr. Eric Bornstein
2022-07-22 09:21:55
In the last 18 months, I have given multiple seminars on behalf of MASK (Mothers & Fathers Aligned Saving Kids) to many NY Yeshivas, Jewish drug rehab and counseling groups, and parents on the subjects of vaping, nicotine, marijuana, alcohol, and opioid addiction. In the last four years, I have given similar seminars to over 125,000 medical professionals throughout the United States. During this time, I have listened to numerous horror storie …
Victim of Abuse or Just a Bad Marriage?
Author:
2015-03-01 00:00:00
Lisa Twerski, LCSW Differentiating Between Dysfunction, Disorders and Domestic Abuse When people feel abused in their marriage, it can be very confusing to try and determine if the cause is a dysfunctional relationship that may have some abusive features, a spouse with a mental illness, or domestic abuse. In fact, some of the abusive ways one may be treated by their spouse may be similar from situation to situation; what determines which type of …
We Needn't Feel Alone
Author: Dvorah Levy, LCSW
2021-02-25 18:01:59
There’s a storm raging outside. Finally, a familiar reason for staying at home. I’m sitting at my kitchen table, watching melted snow fall like tears along the sliding kitchen doors, while snowdrifts make mountains out of molehills. It’s been a year since life was disrupted by a microscopic enemy. It’s as if our world is a snow globe that’s been turned upside down, and we are still trying to find our footing. We&rsqu …
What Truly Counts In A Mate
Author:
2018-02-26 12:34:12
What Truly Counts in a Mate? Michael J Salamon, Ph.D. I have heard many accounts of just what people are looking for in a spouse. These stories range from questions of tablecloth colors; to a potential bride’s mother’s, and even grandmother’s, dress size; to the age at which the potential choson was toilet trained; to whether or not they chew gum; to how much money the partner’s parents are committing to the couple for the …
What's the Problem with Marriage?
Author: Dvorah Levy, LCSW
2016-08-24 09:56:03
The problem with marriage is that our partner has the ability to hurt us in ways no one else can. We are hardwired to want to be in an intimate relationship with another. Our initial blueprint for attachment is formulated by our first intimate relationship, that of our primary caregiver. The messages we received as children around our worthiness, specialness, and lovability were reflected in the responses our caregiver gave us. Ideally, when we e …
When Asking for a Woman’s Dress Size Becomes the Norm: How Dating in the Jewish World is Contributing to Body Image Issues and Disordered Eating
Author:
2018-02-26 12:33:31
When Asking for a Woman’s Dress Size Becomes the Norm: How Dating in the Jewish World is Contributing to Body Image Issues and Disordered Eating By: Elizabeth Carmen, MA, Ed.M, LMHC The media, both Jewish and secular, has been giving this topic a lot of attention lately, which is terrific, but also highlights the fact that there is a major pandemic in the community. While writing this article, an article was published in Self magazine abou …
When Compassion Heals
Author: Rabbi Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
2022-11-29 22:59:10
Dear Readers
Welcome to the November edition of Mind Body & Soul, themed “Is there more than one way to heal?” Interestingly, most of the articles submitted focus less on the differences between treatment modalities and more on the common threads of effective, healing treatment. Also, several articles challenge the notion that emotional healing must eradicate any and all vestiges of illness. In particular, Douglas Balin d …
When Expectations Differ
Author: Smadar Prager, CGP
2016-05-25 00:00:00
Mr. and Mrs. H. have an endearing habit. Every morning, they sip tea together and chat a bit before each turns to his/her daily routine. Their favorite location is their small kitchen table located next to the big window which overlooks the greenery outside and the neighbors’ houses. For the past few weeks, every time their neighbor comes out to hang her laundry, Mrs. H. gets this look in her eyes. She clicks her tongue and says in disappro …
When Psalms Calms
Author: Yehuda Krohn, PsyD
2020-12-04 13:53:11
By: Yehuda Krohn, PsyD Dear Readers Welcome to the November issue of Mind Body & Soul, themed “The calm within the storm”. Let’s start with a basic question: What is a storm? Some would say that a storm is simply a meteorological event. Then again, the term storm is also used when a position held by one group is overwhelmed by members of a different group. “Storm” could also refer to a surprisingly strong …
When Psalms Calms
Author:
2020-12-04 12:30:45
Dear Readers Welcome to the November issue of Mind Body & Soul, themed “The calm within the storm”. Let’s start with a basic question: What is a storm? Some would say that a storm is simply a meteorological event. Then again, the term storm is also used when a position held by one group is overwhelmed by members of a different group. “Storm” could also refer to a surprisingly strong reaction to a previous event. …
When Siblings Fight
Author: Sara Schapiro-Halberstam, MHC-LP, CASAC
2016-11-23 12:39:00
When we watch our own children tumbling on the floor, grabbing toys from one another, shouting, screaming, and crying, we put our hands to our head and mumble: “Oh no, when will this ever end?” Children will tell you the facts of the fight, “he touched my stuff so I hit him,” and so forth, but what is the psychological cause of sibling rivalry and competition? From an evolutionary perspective, there is a biological …
When to Worry About Your Child’s Worries
Author: Regine Galanti, PhD
2015-11-25 00:00:00
Sam Cohen* is a bright 7-year-old boy who notices everything. If a paper clip is out of place on my desk, Sam is the first to comment. Though he’s always been intelligent, Sam’s parents have also noticed that their son has been a worrier for as long as they can remember. His thoughts often include fears like: What will the other children at school think of him? What if his parents’ car crashes on the way to the grocery store? Wh …
Who am I? – The Integration of Self
Author:
2019-02-26 11:50:55
By Pamela Siller, MD When she awoke in the morning, her first thought was of her darling baby, born prematurely, awaiting her arrival in his bassinette in the NICU. Although she knew that she needed to stay strong, her panic steadily rose, until she ran to the bathroom and began to dry heave. Several minutes later, she rinsed out her mouth and started to dress. A couple of hours later, she was in her stride, lecturing to 32 elementary schoo …
Why Children Misbehave
Author:
2018-02-26 12:34:28
Why Children Misbehave By Sara Teichman, Psy. D. Do you find yourself embarrassed sometimes by your children’s behavior? Have you managed, by dint of consequences and threats, to teach them what not to do, but find they do not know what to do or how to do it? Do they have the knowledge and the skills they need in order to behave appropriately? We all know that children do well if they can. What child does not want to wake up to the love and …
Why Do We Find It So Hard to Wait?
Author: Chana Mark LCSW
2020-06-01 22:18:25
“When will this be over?” “I am running out of patience with the kids. It’s too much.” “They say the state is re-opening soon. Then what?” We know that the Covid-19 era will eventually come to an end. It has certainly imposed substantial material hardship on many families. Yet all of us are waiting and waiting, feeling more and more worn down with each passing day. Waiting does not come naturally to us. A …
Why do We Hate The People Loved?
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
2021-09-01 20:51:36
Why do We Hate The People Loved? Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R The Recent daf Yomi (Succah 4b), quotes a verse (Shemos 25:22) that becomes the inspiration from one of my favorite sayings in the Gemara. וְנוֹעַדְתִּ֣י לְךָ֮ שָׁם֒ וְדִבַּרְתִּ֨י אִתְּךָ֜ מֵעַ֣ל הַכַּפֹּ֗רֶת מִבֵּין֙ שְׁנֵ֣י הַכְּרֻבִ֔ים אֲשֶׁ֖ר עַל־אֲר֣וֹן הָע …
Why Doesn't She Just Leave? Understanding the Complexity of Domestic Abuse
Author: Shoshana D Frydman, PhD, LCSW
2016-08-24 09:55:34
Imagine feeling like a hostage in your own home, unable to come and go as you please; always worrying about the next attack, even during times of relative peace. This fear is based on your experience and the awareness that, at some point, there will be another attack. And this fear takes over your life, and permeates itself into every experience and action that you take. I am not referring to what life is like in Israel or other terrorist-laden c …
Why Hasn’t My Therapist Called?
Author: By Moshe Norman
2022-06-02 17:45:11
If you are a former therapy client or patient you may likely have built a deep, intimate relationship with your therapist. Clients tell us their innermost challenges, dreams and aspirations. Then, they move on. Have you ever wondered why your therapist hasn't called to see how you have been? Often, therapists would love to know more about the developmental trajectory of former clients. We are, of course, human. We care about our …
Why Is it So Hard To Take The First Step?
Author: Shuli Sandler, Psy.D.
2021-09-01 20:49:36
Many of us know what we want. We have ideas of what we want to accomplish, we may make lists, or set goals. And yet, productive action often evades us. We may feel a gap between what we want to achieve and what we do. Other times, we may feel confused and unable to define what it is it that we truly want. How do we take that first step? Or rather, why is it that we often don’t take the steps to define what we want and accomplish our goals. …
Write Your Way Home
Author: .Yocheved Rottenberg, CJF
2021-09-01 20:49:11
Imagine I told you that I know of a therapist that costs about a dollar an hour, has a lot of availability and is surprisingly effective. You wouldn't believe me, but I'd insist it's true. Take out a notebook, find yourself a pen, and begin writing. Therapy has officially begun.
Therapeutic writing is research-based, effective and very simple. Once you learn to do it properly, you can achieve tremendous growth by understanding yourself, cont …
Years and Tears Later: The Price of Deception in Shidduchim
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R, DHL
2022-08-31 17:25:24
(Simcha Feuerman maintains a private practice specializing in high conflict and couples . His practice is in Brooklyn, Queens and Boca Raton.) The following ideas are based on his daily blog, Psychology of the Daf. The Gemara in Kesuvos dappim 12-13 deal extensively with the halakhic consequences and nuances of misrepresentation of facts in Shidduchim. How much exaggeration is normal when describing a Shidduch? How much should the pe …
Your Spotlight and How to Use it
Author:
2019-06-03 10:05:23
Your Spotlight and How to Use It By: Eitan Zerykier If the human mind is truly an unstoppable thought-machine, what good is it anyway? Have you ever watched a show or movie and without noticing, suddenly felt excited or found yourself crying? Or after it ended, you realized how engrossed you were and suddenly snapped back to reality? After watching a comedy, you may feel happier and lighter than before it began. Many have said …