Elisheva Liss, LMFT
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Showing Results 120 - 141 (141 total)
B'Sha'ah Tova Faux Pas
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
Adina’s eyes darted around my office, then closed and watered with unsuccessfully repressed shame. She was trying to explain the freshly sliced argument she’d had with her sister-in-law, Riva. Riva’s sister had gotten engaged that week, and Adina had been invited to the vort. She got dressed up on a weeknight(!), circled 20 minutes for parking, politely nibbled some sushi, and then made sure to wish mazal tov to all the main pla …
Broken Tablets, Broken Hearts
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
2021-06-27 16:06:51
A few years ago, I got a call from a mother, distraught over something that was happening at her kids’ school. Her 12 year old daughter was in avelus, and the school had told her that she needed to wait in the office, while her grade practiced for a music and dance performance. The girl felt like she was being punished for being in mourning and was devastated. The mom asked me to call the school and speak with them. I called the scho …
Bli Neder Blogging
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
Better Prep for Wedding Night and Beyond
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
2020-02-09 11:09:47
More Shovevim thoughts on enhancing marital intimacy: Something I have struggled with for a few years now is wanting to create and share more information for religious brides and grooms, more publicly than just with my private groups and clients. I actually have a document script for kallah teachers, that I have been editing slowly over the years, and sharing judiciously. But something held me back from posting it publicly- it's delicate, so cult …
Ballad of the Secretly Burnt Out Kollel Wife
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
2019-09-18 09:12:53
“I’m so happy and grateful- his Rebbe said he’s a meyuchad, a lamdan, really something special.” “I just want to do whatever is best for my husband’s learning.” “This is a good job for a working mom- it’s my privilege to support my husband’s Torah.” “As long as we can, we’re hoping long term.” “It’s a zechus for me, for our future children to have a ch …
Assessing Your Relationship
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
2017-02-09 13:52:14
On Choosing a Spouse: Looking for Love in all the Right Places By: Elisheva Liss, LMFT Selecting a spouse is possibly the most momentous decision that we humans make over the course of a lifetime. We are choosing our roommate, co-parent, romantic partner, teammate, and closest companion- ideally, for life. We live in times in which we have more autonomy and opportunity than ever before in history, we seem to be more emotionally complex, and deman …
Are You Starting to Lose it?
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
2020-05-14 16:22:57
Are you struggling to maintain your sense of equilibrium while trying to navigate all the new demands and realities of the COVID19 crisis? Many people seem to be reporting a variety of challenges, so if you are, you’re very much not alone. Therapists are trying to share whatever knowledge we have about encouraging people to especially attend to our personal needs and psychological well-being. Taking care of yourself is a worthy goal in its …
Are we roommates or spouses?
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
Anxiety and Elul
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
2022-08-29 14:25:32
Elul Anxiety Tami, a motivated college student, sought help to deal with her test taking anxiety. She describes her symptoms: “I just get so nervous starting a few days before the test. This sense of dread. I try to study but I get distracted by how worried I am. By the time I sit down to take the test, my hands are clammy, I feel chilly and sweaty, my head is swimming, and I can barely focus.” One of the tools Tami learned in terms o …
Announcements
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
Hi, blog-reading friends! Some of you may have noticed that I have been going more digital lately- course creation, writing a lot more, and producing a lot more content on social media. I've been trying get a little more organized about it, and so I have a couple of new projects going on : 1. I hope to start sending out a weekly newsletter. This content will be a little different from the blog; a little more personal and geared to my own sp …
Announcements
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
Hi, blog-reading friends! Some of you may have noticed that I have been going more digital lately- course creation, writing a lot more, and producing a lot more content on social media. I've been trying get a little more organized about it, and so I have a couple of new projects going on : 1. I hope to start sending out a weekly newsletter. This content will be a little different from the blog; a little more personal and geared to my own sp …
Announcements
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
2020-04-30 11:23:02
Hi, blog-reading friends! Some of you may have noticed that I have been going more digital lately- course creation, writing a lot more, and producing a lot more content on social media. I've been trying get a little more organized about it, and so I have a couple of new projects going on : 1. I hope to start sending out a weekly newsletter. This content will be a little different from the blog; a little more personal and geared to my own sp …
An Intimacy Dilemma
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
2022-05-10 07:01:45
*This post was excerpted from my schmoozeletter email.*
The following is a conversation that comes up a lot with my couples in therapy: Me: So what would you say are the challenges you're facing in your relationship that you want to address together? Him: Our intimate life isn't great. We're not "together" often and when we are it seems to fall flat. Her: Fo …
"Am I Normal?"
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
2020-11-28 21:48:10
At the root of so many people’s questions, doubts, insecurities and fears, lies this niggling question: Am I normal? And it shows up in a variety of permutations: Is this normal? My history? My family? My thoughts, feelings, relationships? And buried even deeper than that for many is the alternative: “Am I abnormal? Dysfunctional? Crazy?&r …
Am I a Bais Yaakov Lesbian?
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
2022-12-13 08:57:32
Am I a Bais Yaakov lesbian? Chani was 20 years old when she presented for therapy. The official referral was “anxiety about dating,” but when she began to share, it was more complex and specific than that: “I’ve never told anyone this before, but I have one friend who knows, because it involves her too. I am anxious about starting to date- that’s true. But it’s not just regular nervous. I know this might sound …
A Simple Sexuality Education Message from The Megila
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
2020-03-09 11:05:06
One year, when I went to shul for megila reading, I was a few minutes early, so I stopped to watch the adorable costumed children running around. I saw many little girls dressed up as princesses, fairies and brides, and most of the little boys were pirates, robbers, and ninjas. Not a prince in sight. A preschool version of the “shidduch crisis.” Of course, that was a joke, but the metaphor might fit… If you ask any Yeshiva grad …
A Separation Is Not Necessarily Step One to a Divorce
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
2020-10-18 12:03:34
Couples therapy is intense work. Back in grad school, I had a professor say: “We’re not in the business of saving marriages. We’re in the business of helping people.” At the time, I was young, arrogant, and naively idealistic, and I thought: “Well, I’m hoping to save marriages.” After years on the job, I’ve learned that he was right. While thankfully, most of the time, we do help clients save their …
A Different Kind of Sexual Trauma Among Us
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
2022-02-27 11:16:44
Trigger warning: this post discusses sexual trauma Zeesy, a 19-year-old newlywed, was referred for intense erotophobia- a fear of sexual activity. It’s been about three months since their wedding, but her aversion to sexual touch seems to be getting worse. Her young husband is worried, and the premarital educator who sent her asks me: “Do you think something happened to her?” What she means, of course, is trauma- s …
10 Tips to Minimize Family Drama over Yom Tov
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
2023-04-04 16:30:37
The yomim tovim / Jewish holidays are often “busy season” for Orthodox therapists. In our communities, where there’s a profound emphasis on the values of both family and holidays, these often converge to create a perfect storm of internal pressure and interpersonal mayhem. There are the social plans: who is hosting, who is traveling, which “side’s turn” is it to have the newlyweds, or the elderly relatives, and …
10 Ideas of What Not to Comment on when Spending Time with Extended Family (or Other Humans):
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
2022-10-07 08:49:44
With the upcoming holiday of Sukkos, many families are getting together in clans, and sometimes interactions that are well-meaning can take a turn for the awkward or hurtful. Here are some suggestions of ways to keep it clean and considerate, by trying to steer clear of the following common pitfall topics. It might be a good idea to not comment on: 1. How people look: style, weight, modesty- appearance is super-personal to m …
Confronting Happiness Anxiety
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT