Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW Weekly Q&A As Published In Yated Ne'eman
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Showing Results 40 - 80 (373 total)
Somatic Symptom Disorder
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-11-08 14:31:00
Dear Therapist: Our teenage son has always been a bit of a complicated personality but he does well socially and academically. Recently we have noticed a trend where he keeps on asking to go to the doctor because of different things that are bothering him physically. My husband and I recently calculated that he has had 6 separate issues in the last year or so. Only once was there actually something wrong (strep); the other times the doctor …
Career Counseling
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-11-17 09:25:30
Dear Therapist: The time has come in my life for me to make a parnassah to support my family. I am having a difficult time choosing what career path I would like to take and what field I want to get involved in. I am generally not a person who has a hard time making up his mind but I can’t seem to settle on something that I think I would be good at and interested in. Someone mentioned that therapists are trained in career counseling so I th …
Self-Esteem Revisited
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-11-22 13:00:07
Dear Therapist: I am a young adult with anxiety and I constantly beat myself with mistakes that I make. I was wondering if you can please give me insight on how to deal with it. I'm a bit impulsive. Ex: I spent a bit too much on food recently and now I'm upset that I don't have any money left for more important things that I need. I think very bad thoughts that are not letting me move on in life. I get very tense and have negative thoughts like & …
Can I Force Someone Into Treatment?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-11-30 16:07:20
Dear Therapist: What options are there for someone who clearly needs treatment but refuses to get it? I am currently involved with two cases where the person has serious issues that are affecting themselves and their families but won’t go for help. In one case the person is so depressed they barely leave the house for anything and won’t even hear of it. In the other case the person thinks there is nothing wrong with them but the …
Hygiene Problems
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-12-07 11:00:22
Dear Therapist: Hi. The concern I am writing about is my almost 15-year-old son. He is Boruch Hashem a masmid. However, his personal hygiene is lacking. I do not recall ever having had an issue with him regarding this matter when he was a child. He showered, brushed his teeth and followed all the other norms regarding personal hygiene. I actually did try speaking to him about it a few times but he brushes me off. I have stopped …
Disposable Friends
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-12-13 13:53:44
Dear Therapist: At about age eleven or twelve my girls drift away from their one good friend and begin to spend time with other girls. This pattern has repeated itself several times. I think that the original friends have felt somewhat abandoned by this. I don't want to control my daughters' friendships. However, I don't want anyone to be hurt and I would like to see that my daughters have the meedah of loyalty. If this is a normal pattern of ado …
Inferiority Complex
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-12-20 12:29:19
Dear Therapist: I have many people in my life whom I feel have an inferiority complex and are in constant need of compliments and appreciation. Yet as much as I try I can't seem to fill their needs and they always feel I am under-appreciating their work. If they send me a cake for Shabbos I need to thank before, after, and once again. How do I feed their never satiated need for praise and compliments? It’s also very difficult for me to deal …
Addiction in the Jewish Community
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-01-03 14:14:35
Dear Therapist: My question is short, but not so simple. I am an addict. Being an addict is very challenging, painful and lonely, but it’s extra difficult to suffer from this disease in the Jewish community. It’s such a stigma and I have to hide my whole life from everyone. My question is, how can I learn to accept and love myself, to forgive myself for all the wrong I’ve done when I know that if people knew I am an addict, I wo …
Can I Pay for Your Therapy?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-01-03 14:21:55
Dear Therapist: I have a friend who is really struggling and after many conversations he has finally agreed to go to therapy. We did a lot of research and have found some therapists that would suit him. Unfortunately he cannot afford to pay for therapy. I have offered to pay for therapy but the therapist does not want to allow us to do so. He says he believes that it is important for the patient to pay for therapy themselves and that it is not a …
Depression or Normal Reaction?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-01-15 09:32:40
Dear Therapist: Thank you to the Yated for this excellent column which I read weekly. I am writing regarding my father. My father is an extremely bright person and a professional who has been working the same job for many years. As he has recently entered his 60’s I notice that he just seems to be very down. My youngest sister recently got married and there is no one living at home any more. I also see that the younger people seem to be adv …
Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make Me a Match
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-01-25 12:50:22
Dear Therapist: I am a single boy who has been dating for 4 years. Whenever I start dating I get tremendous pressure from my parents to get married. I can’t think straight when I am dating because of all the pressure; of course, the shaddchanim join in as well. I have started saying no to any shidduchim that are read to me because I can’t put myself through this again. My parents seem to think that all the girls I have dated are prett …
Homesickness...Bring Them Home Or Not?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-02-06 12:49:09
Dear Therapist: Our daughter went to seminary in Israel this year. This was something she had very much wanted and was looking forward to. Basically, since Succos she has been telling us how miserable she is and that she wants to come home. She is too old to be homesick and I’m not sure what is going on. She has never been the most independent girl but I didn’t think she would have such a problem there. The mechanchos in the seminary …
Sibling Rivalry
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-02-07 12:18:31
Dear Therapist: I boruch Hashem have two very wonderful young boys, ages 9 and 7. They fight a lot. I find that I am constantly refereeing their fighting. Part of me wants to just let them deal with it themselves but they wind up coming and crying to me at some point. I have no idea how I am supposed to judge and arbitrate 15 disagreements a day. Please give me some tips on how to manage this. Response: You presented your concern ver …
Parenting Beyond Childhood
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-02-16 09:58:29
Dear Therapist: My son (age 26) was diagnosed with anxiety by our family physician a few years back. I took him to a psychiatrist and he was given medication. He does very well when he is on the medication but I find he constantly skips doses. Even more concerning is that without telling me he will try and take himself off the medicine to see how he can do without it. I will often notice that he isn’t doing well and will confront him and re …
Emotions "Inherited"
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-02-21 12:24:37
Dear Therapist: I am an adult and I have a problem. I get extremely impatient to the point of becoming highly aggravated when sitting at drawn-out events. For example, sitting at a Shabbos meal at a relative’s house gets me nervous if they extend it too long. Waiting at a doctor’s office or at a line in a supermarket can almost put me into a rage. I can't hang around too long at a wedding if I am not doing anything there. I am an adul …
Trichotillomania
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-03-16 13:13:45
Thank you for your column. I really enjoy it. I am a teenage girl who bh has many things going for me; I have a great, loving family, plenty of friends, good grades and all in all I am very happy. I do suffer from trichotillomania (I pull out my hair). But just to make it clear those who don't know would not be able to tell. My friends know and really don't think about it—it really has no effect on my life. Do you think it is necessary to g …
Hagbah Issues
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-03-16 13:19:33
Dear Therapist: I appreciate your column and insights and I would like to get your opinion on something that has been bothering me for a long time. I am afraid to do hagbah. I have only done it once in my life (with a really small Sefer Torah). I should be strong enough but I just have such a fear that I will drop the Sefer. I usually duck out of shul when it’s time for hagbah so that the gabbai won’t approach me. If I do get asked I …
I Hate My Job!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-03-16 13:23:49
Dear Therapist: My husband has had a job in finance for around 15 years. He is very good at it and makes a nice living but it is a stressful job and he is under a lot of pressure. He has recently begun complaining a lot and is overwhelmed by work. He took off a few weeks recently and that helped, but only briefly. He is talking about changing careers but I don’t know why he suddenly can’t handle it. He says he just isn’t interes …
Bad Shidduch
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-03-30 12:04:08
Dear Therapist: My best friend recently became engaged. I should be overjoyed; however, I am very afraid for her. She has never had great self-esteem and is not a great judge of character. Her chosson does not appear to be a good person at all. He doesn’t treat her with respect and is constantly making demeaning remarks to her in front of everyone. You can tell a lot from the way others talk about him as well. I feel like she just has such …
Can I Quit Smoking?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-03-30 12:08:14
Dear Therapist: I took my first cigarette in 9th grade. I have been smoking steadily for the past 15 years. If I am honest I realize that it is a big health risk but that doesn’t seem to motivate me to stop. I guess I kind of “want to want” to stop. It certainly would make my wife and parents happy. My questions are: 1. Do you have any suggestions as to how to become more motivated to quit? 2. Are there any specific …
Death and Children
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-04-13 09:21:11
Dear Therapist: Although your responses will be too late to be beneficial to me, I hope that by writing into this panel your responses will guide others who may be dealing with a similar dilemma. My wife’s father was recently niftar after a relatively brief illness. There was a lot of disagreement between my wife and me as to how much our 3 children (ages 12, 10 and 7) should participate in the levaya, shiva etc. My wife was very concerned …
Boredom or ADHD
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-04-20 15:05:10
Dear Therapist: My 10-year-old son constantly needs to be entertained. He is never able to just sit still and keep himself busy. He enjoys listening to Jewish tapes of stories (Rabbi Erps, Rebbe Hill, etc.) but he will listen for 5 hours straight. And he will constantly kvetch about not being able to listen if we don’t allow it. Is it healthy for someone to spend that much time like that? It’s like he has become obsessed with this stu …
Rabbi or Therapist
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-04-26 15:53:25
Dear Therapist: Our daughter has recently asked us to see (and pay for) a therapist. She says that her reasons for this are because she feels empty, without direction in life, and is not finding fulfillment. She is 22 years old, has never had any issues before, had no major difficulties in life, has a good job and has always done well. My husband and I have always felt that she could be a little more sincere with her yiddishkeit. She does everyth …
High School Isolation
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-05-15 11:36:30
Dear Therapist: I am 14 years old, in mesivta, and I have no friends. I never really fit in. I am not interested in sports and the things that other kids are into. I feel very lonely and spend most of my day reading. I have always been very shy and I am not comfortable talking to anyone. My parents are not nogeah to talk to. Please help me. Thank you. Response: I’m sorry that you feel that you don’t fit in. It’s very iron …
My Child is Stealing
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-05-15 11:39:58
Dear Therapist: Our 11-year-old son has been stealing things from his friends in school. We keep finding things in his room that we know he didn’t get from us. Recently he admitted that he took a toy from another boy’s briefcase. We are devastated. We give him everything he needs and he comes from a house that I would say has excellent chinuch. I have no idea where he picked up such a horrible thing. Additionally, we are very wo …
My Paranoid Sister
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-05-18 13:43:26
Dear Therapist: My sister has always thought that everyone was out to get her. She is extremely insecure and very sensitive. Now her paranoia has increased to the point where she is in a fight with everyone in her family. She is furious at me because she thinks I didn’t try hard enough to get her kids into high school. She thinks my husband ruined her kids’ shidduchim. She thinks my brothers are trying to push her husband out of the f …
My Wife Spends All My Money!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-06-07 08:48:16
Dear Therapist: I know this sounds almost cliché but I can’t get my wife to stop spending money. Sounds like a bad joke no? I work hard and make a very nice living but she seems to have no awareness of financial responsibility. Whenever I speak to her she feels bad about it but it doesn’t really stop her. I don’t want to turn this into a huge fight, and she is sensitive to confrontation, but I’m telling you it&rsquo …
Will My Therapist Report Me?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-06-07 09:04:04
Dear Therapist: There is a specific issue that I have been holding in for a long time. I understand that it is something that is very serious and needs to be discussed with a therapist. The issue is that it is a very serious thing that I am worried will need to be brought to the attention of the authorities. This is something I don’t want to happen. So, I am stuck, not getting the help that I need. Obviously, I can’t be specific …
The Condescending Therapist
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-06-14 13:53:43
Dear Therapist: I am a 19-year-old bachur in a top yeshiva. I have tremendous emotional difficulties: anxiety, panic attacks, obsessive looping, and depression. I also struggle with trauma and an unhealthy childhood. While I was skeptical of therapy, I decided to give it a try. I saw a highly recommended therapist for 8 months and found it to be a disappointing experience. While it helped me gain clarity about myself and a brilliant underst …
Childhood Obesity
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-06-25 11:34:19
Dear Therapist: Thank you so much for your insightful column each week. I gain a tremendous amount from your suggestions and advice. I am hoping that you can guide us. We B'H have a wonderful almost 10-year-old son; he is a fantastic kid, smart, conscientious, studious, well-behaved, bright, a real baal middos and a budding talmid chacham. He brings us a tremendous amount of nachas. The problem is that he likes to ea …
Sensitive Children
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-06-28 14:03:16
Dear Therapist: My son is a very sensitive boy and every time I tell him “no” or reprimand him for something, as I would to any of my other children, he always looks deeply hurt. Should I treat him differently than, or the same as, my other children? I feel that in life he will have to deal with “no”s and not everything will go his way and people will tell him off. Am I correct in my judgment? Response: Your questio …
My Therapist Abandoned Me
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-07-05 14:59:35
Dear Therapist: Thank you so much for your weekly column, I really enjoy the panelists’ responses. I have decided to seek therapy because of my eating habits and low self-esteem. I started seeing a therapist with whom I was very happy and I enjoyed going every week. After around two months the therapist informed me that she will be opening her own private practice and referred me to a different therapist. I had a very hard time with this as …
Insomniac
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-07-18 08:42:03
Dear Therapist: I have a problem falling asleep so I take sleeping pills. They leave me feeling groggy throughout the day. My question, dear panelists, is: is it better to lie in bed awake until I’d fall asleep naturally, if ever, and be tired the next day, or to sleep with the pills and be tired the next day? Response: As a non-prescriber, I cannot speak to the effects of various medications, whether over-the-counter or prescribed. …
Peer Pressure in Adolescents
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-07-26 15:11:37
Dear Therapist: I am very concerned about the group of friends that my 14-year-old son has chosen. He has changed a lot for the worse since they started hanging out. It's a whole "pack" that spends all their time together and they are all negative influences on each other. The mesivta is struggling to try and figure out how to deal with them. I am hopeful that you could suggest a way that we could separate him from them. All our requests, pleas, …
Do I need to Choose Between My Kids and my Brother?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-08-09 09:21:26
Dear Therapist: My brother went through a very difficult tekufah as a teenager. There was a period of a few years when he was not at all frum. B'H he is doing much better now and continues to grow. He has always been welcome in my home and behaved appropriately around my children (his nephews). He is great with them, they love him and he adores them. As my children grow older I am becoming more concerned about his influence on them. He is not alw …
Young Sibling Rivalry
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-08-09 09:31:41
Dear Therapist: Thank you for this forum. Our oldest, a boy of 6, thinks that he is in charge of everything. He is in charge of every game, every digging session, and every clean-up job. He will constantly dominate every interaction with his younger siblings (boy 4 & girl 2) and attempts to control them. If his commands are not adhered to, he will yell and threaten etc. He cannot tolerate his younger brother superseding him in any way: "you a …
Oh! Was I Analyzing You?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-08-20 16:24:12
Dear Therapist: I am struggling with a problem I fear is most uncommon. I have recently started practicing as a therapist. This is a positive thing, or at least it should be. My concern is that some friends of mine from the past have begun to resent speaking with me because they feel that I will automatically treat them as clients. This is mostly, but not limited to, secret or personal events in their lives. My question is, as therapists what are …
Balancing Parents' and Children's Needs
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-08-23 10:45:57
Dear Therapist: My husband and I have been struggling with our 17-year-old son. He is not currently in yeshiva and his shmiras hamitzvos leaves a lot to be desired. We have been getting advice from some rabbonim with experience in this area and have been meeting with a therapist for the last few months. All agree that, at this time, we should not be pushing or forcing our son when it comes to his Yiddishkeit. The issue is that my husband ca …
Is My Daughter Ruining Her Sister's Marriage?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-09-07 09:51:58
Dear Therapist: My daughter has just left for a year of seminary in Eretz Yisroel. I am concerned about the amount of time she is spending in her just married, shana reshona, sister’s house. She has only been in Yerushalayim the last few weeks but, by all accounts, she is spending way too much time there. I know it's early but I want to deal with this before it becomes an issue. This doesn't seem to bother either of my daughters but I …
Passive-Aggressive Mother
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-09-07 09:59:56
Dear Therapist: I have always had a difficult relationship with my mother. I always blamed myself. As I get older, with the help of some friends, I can realize some of the issues. It is impossible to have a normal conversation with her. It’s like she won’t say straightforward what she means, and nothing gets resolved. For example, I can tell she is angry and something I did upset her, but she denies it but then seems to ignore me for …
Everyone Thinks I should be Married...Aside from Me!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-09-21 13:15:05
Dear Therapist: I am an older year old single bochur who is learning in yeshiva. I have been told I am picky, unable to make a commitment, lazy, unambitious and many other diagnoses and labels. Many people have suggested that I “speak to someone” (meaning a therapist) in order to resolve the major issues I must have if I am not married at the old age of 28. I think I have just not yet met the right person. Thoughts? Response: Y …
Night Terrors
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-10-25 13:42:44
Dear Therapist: My very bright, mature, lovable, happy 5-year-old son has begun to experience what I have been told is called "night terror". He is a very happy child during the day, definitely with a more intense personality, but very healthy and well-adjusted and extremely bright. At night, he will wake up in terror, screaming, cowering in the corner, looking at me or my husband with terror, eyes opened wide, with real fear...and then a few min …
Marriage and Siblings
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-10-25 14:01:31
Dear Therapist: My younger sister (20 years old) got married last year. Although I am happy that she doesn’t have to deal with shidduchim any more, I am struggling with my own emotions about it. My sister was in seminary and already decided she was going to date when she came home. She “asked me” permission to date when I came to visit her that year—but only because my father told her she should. Then, when she came home s …
I'm Being Bullied on the Bus
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-10-25 14:12:11
Dear Therapist: I am an 8-year-old boy. There is an older boy who beats me up and bothers me every day on the bus. He is bigger than me and if I ignore him he just acts worse. There is nothing the Yeshiva can do because there is no teacher on the bus. I really worry about it a lot and I don't like going to school anymore (although it is true that I really like it once I get there). My parents said I can write to you to ask you for advice. …
Marital Communication
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-11-09 12:59:06
Dear Therapist: I have been married for almost a year. Overall things are good. The problem is that whenever my husband and I have a disagreement he will completely shut down. For example, I didn't appreciate that he came home really late the other night and I told him so but instead of discussing it he got all offended and basically avoided me for 2 days. I get the impression that he thinks that I am never allowed to be upset at him or justified …
My Unstable Parents
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-11-09 13:21:27
Dear Therapist: My parents are very controlling, critical, self-centered and emotionally unstable (they may possibly have personality disorders). One of my sisters recently started disconnecting by minimizing her interactions with my parents. My parents are very hurt and angry and are trying many tactics to change my sister's behaviors (which includes badmouthing her to rabbanim). I come from a large family and all of the children are married. We …
Rambunctious Boys
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-11-16 10:00:13
Dear Therapist: We are parents of 4 lovely boys BH. The house is very "rough and tumble" and while the boys often play very well together they also get physical with each other. We are having trouble figuring out when to intervene and when to let it go. We feel that on the one hand they need to learn to work it out among themselves; on the other hand at some point we need to intervene. Can you please give us some guidelines in raising rambunctiou …
A Child's Fear of Death
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-12-03 09:57:45
Dear Therapist: One of our children is obsessed with death. He is 6 years old and is constantly asking questions about it. He asks us when we will die, when bubby and zaidy will die, etc. It used to be kind of cute when he planned for our demise, but recently he has been getting much more serious about it. He has been worrying more and has been waking up with "bad dreams" in middle of the night. We try to be reassuring, and that used to be enough …
Assertiveness in a Medical Crisis
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-12-03 10:12:39
Dear Therapist: I am currently involved in a medical crisis (I was diagnosed with an illness, but we are not sure how serious it is yet). I need to get a lot of opinions from doctors and make choices regarding my treatment. I have never really been an assertive person but now I am really lost. Everyone has an opinion, I have no idea what to do and the doctors are talking over my head. It seems that if I don’t push I don’t get answered …
Have Kids Become Less Responsible?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-12-14 12:35:55
Dear Therapist: Our 16 year old son was suffering from severe stomach pains. We took him to a specialist who basically said that he would have to make some small changes to his diet, and a follow a regimen every day, if he wanted to get better. In the beginning, he basically followed her instructions, but he started struggling with keeping to the regimen, and sure enough, the pain came back. Now he started following the instructions again, but so …
Obsessive or Religious?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-12-14 12:51:12
Dear Therapist: We have a wonderful daughter who is back from seminary, happily working and doing very well BH, but here is the concern... While my daughter was in high school she started taking on more and more chumras and started becoming more and more frum and shtark. It affected her relationship with her friends, how she dressed, what she ate, (or didn't eat), her sleep, her davening, her ability and confidence in herself when making decision …
I Lost My Social Skills!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-12-21 13:44:57
Dear Therapist: I have over the last few years lost my ability to socialize. I have always been a quiet person but I hung out with the friends I grew up with and that was enough. Now they have all gotten married and are busy with their families and I really have no relationships. When I am with people it’s not so much that I am afraid to talk; it’s just that for the life of me I can’t think of anything to say. Can you please rec …
Will I Always Have Anxiety?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-02-07 10:11:43
Dear Therapist: I am 46 and have been living with anxiety my entire life. Every few years I go back to therapy for a while until I start feeling better. Then I stop with my therapist and it gets me through a year or two then it gets bad again and I wind up back in therapy again. I tried medication for a while a few years back but the side effects weren't really worth it. I have done 2 rounds of CBT where I analyzed my thinking patterns and how th …
Bipolar or Normal Mood Swings
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-02-07 10:29:23
Dear Therapist: I often experience what seem like dramatic mood changes. One day I'll wake up with loads of energy ready to take on the world and the next I will sit in bed trying to convince myself to get out of bed. I am sometimes full of joy and optimism and other times just retreat into myself. My friends joke that I am "bipolar." I asked my doctor about it and his response was something to the effect of, "We all have our ups and downs" and …
Is My Daughter Addicted to Painkillers?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-02-07 10:32:37
Dear Therapist: I am writing regarding my 28-year-old daughter who has a slipped disc. She is in chronic pain and nothing seems to be working (PT, etc.). Surgery has been suggested but we are trying to avoid it because of the inherent risks. My husband and I are becoming more and more concerned about her use of pain medication. Some of the medicine she has been prescribed is highly addictive and we are concerned about her developing a real issue …
Unlicensed "Therapist"
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-02-07 10:36:40
Dear Therapist: My sister-in-law sees an unlicensed therapist. This concerns me and I asked my sister-in-law about it who assured me that the therapist has very solid training and good results and she is happy with her. This doesn't sound right or ethical to me, but I am not sure what to do, if anything. I would appreciate the thoughts of the panel members. Response: Generally speaking, it’s not ethical for someone who is unlicensed …
NVLD Anyone?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-02-07 10:41:05
Dear Therapist: I was recently at a meeting at my son's yeshiva and was told that my son should be evaluated by a neuropsychologist. When I asked why, the principal suggested that he should be tested to see if he has a nonverbal learning disability. I have scheduled an appointment, but was curious what this condition is, how it would present with a frum boy in yeshiva, and what can be done about it. I am looking for practical suggestions that ca …
Anxiety or ADHD
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-02-07 10:50:13
Dear Therapist: I have always struggled in several areas such as concentration, inability to complete projects, and too much talking. I have read articles about this and some seem to suggest that this is about anxiety while others indicate that it is ADHD related. How do I differentiate between these two possibilities? Response: There are many symptoms that can apply to various disorders. Sometimes it can be difficult to ascertain which p …
Therapist Vs. Psychiatrist
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-02-07 10:53:05
Dear Therapist: My wife has been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. She has been seeing a therapist who has been treating her using cognitive behavioral therapy. She has not made that much improvement and our family doctor suggested she see a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist is recommending that she take medication to help with this. However, her therapist is strongly discouraging taking medication and is adamant that she has the strength with …
Divorce Therapist?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-02-14 15:34:40
Dear Therapist: Without going into the gory details my husband and are having serious problems in our marriage. We have been married 10 years and have 3 children...Some have suggested that we go for therapy as a couple. This might be a good idea but others have warned us not to because "therapists will wind up pushing you to get divorced." Things are bad but this is not what we want at all. Can you please give us some guidance (reassurance?) rega …
I Can't Stand my Mom's Criticism
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-03-27 11:40:57
Dear Therapist: I am a 20 something year old girl struggling with shidduchim and finding Mr. Right. In the meantime I am living at home with my parents and here lies the problem. My mother doesn't realize but she is singling me out for emotional mistreatment. Nothing I say, think, or wear is good enough. My opinions are too left wing, my clothing is too tight, this outfit doesn't make me look good. All day every day that's all I hear from her. I …
Constant Blushing
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-03-27 11:52:15
Dear Therapist: I am a 19-year-old boy who went to an out of town yeshiva this year. My yeshiva provides a dormitory, but they don't provide Shabbos seudas. Every Shabbos I have to find meals and many times I end up by people whom I don't know and never met before. There is one issue with this. When I introduce myself to new people I turn red in the face. This is something that I feel I can't control as much as I prep myself before. This is extr …
Graphology
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-03-27 11:59:06
Dear Therapist: I once used the services of a graphologist to gain some insight into myself and my challenges. I sent in my handwriting and a drawing, and I received a short reply with some advice, basically that I am living in a way that I exert myself very strongly, striving to force myself to be something I am not, and I must stop living with my illusions and focus on being myself and achieve according to my ability in order for me to be happ …
What is Happiness?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-03-27 12:03:27
Dear Therapist: As the yom tov of Purim approaches, I wonder if the esteemed panel can elaborate a bit on "happiness." There is so much attention today being paid to being happy. It is even enshrined in the declaration of independence as a right. I sometimes wonder if the fact that people chase happiness, which can be so elusive, actually makes them more miserable. As therapists who are bnei torah I was hoping you could share your thoughts on ha …
"Losing It" with the Kids
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-03-27 12:10:12
Dear Therapist: Pesach is approaching! I find that as a mother of a large family I get overwhelmed at this time of year and really lose it with my kids. Overall I think I am a wonderful parent but I could use some extra tools to deal with this extra stress. Any advice? Or does this just come along with being a Jewish mother? Response: I don’t know exactly what you mean by “lose it.” I also don’t know the ages of yo …
My Sister's Rare Condition
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-03-27 12:15:56
Dear Therapist: I have a sister with a rare medical condition. Hardly anyone knows about it and I found out by mistake. I have watched her surmount her many challenges, but I am stuck pitying her (and myself) and wishing things were different. She’s such a good person so why her?! I have not moved past it and it pains me deeply watching her... I’m helpless and powerless in terms of helping and I wish there was something I can do Any …
Traumatic Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-05-16 10:34:28
Dear Therapist: A few years ago, I went to a therapist to deal with something very difficult going on in my life. Instead of validating my pain and letting me share my feelings in a non-judgmental environment, my therapist hurt me deeply. She said things that damaged my self-esteem more than anyone in my life had ever done. You might say that she was trying to help me grow? There is a way to say things to someone. Th …
Hypnotherapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-05-16 10:42:40
Dear Therapist: What is the panel’s opinion and experience with hypnotherapy? Does hypnotherapy work? How about when regular therapy fails? I have heard that hypnosis works because it reaches your unconscious self vs traditional therapy which only works on a conscious level. Response: Although I have had some training and experience with hypnotherapy, I’m certainly not an expert. I can speak generally, but I defer to those pane …
Is Financial Stress Hurting My Family?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-05-16 10:48:20
Dear Therapist: We have recently experienced some significant financial difficulties which require us to change our standards of living. Up until 4-5 months ago, we were living what most people would consider a wealthy lifestyle. The reasons for the downturn are not important but it has been very rough on us as a family. This has caused my husband a lot of stress and has impacted our marriage as well. We are also having a difficult time explainin …
My Children Are My Life
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-05-16 10:54:24
Dear Therapist: I am a mother of a large family k"ah, with a B"H healthy good marriage. I have come across many times in articles, speeches, etc.… a concept that is stressed that when couples talk just between themselves (i.e. date nights, walks, or just some good old schmoozing), they shouldn't talk about the kids and about the husband's work. We are told that couples should speak about "other stuff like they spoke when the …
Childhood Triggers
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-05-16 11:00:09
Dear Therapist: Today I am a married woman with a family and have friends b”h, but as a child, I didn’t have any friends. When I was with classmates and when I would try to interject with a comment my comment would go unnoticed. I only made friends after I finished school and started working. When I bump into people I knew as a child, such as classmates, I become terrified and start to shake and the unbearable pain that lays deep …
Teenage Anorexia
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-05-16 11:05:04
Dear Therapist: I am a sixteen-year-old girl, and I hope you can help me with my struggle. I will go straight to the point. I feel extremely uncomfortable in my skin; I feel very blown up and fat. I know that maybe that's not how I look, but this is how I feel. I badly want to be (super) thin. My family thinks and says I am thin. Whenever I go hungry I don't have this uncomfortable pit in my stomach. Yet …
Anti Vaxxers
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-07-18 08:44:54
Dear Therapist: As everyone not living under a rock is aware, there has recently been an outbreak of measles in the frum community. While most of you are not medical doctors I was hoping you can help me from a psychological perspective. How can it be that something like vaccines that are considered safe and necessary by 99.9 percent of the medical community and somehow people have a cramp in their head against it? How are we to understand this p …
Stress or Anxiety?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-07-18 08:55:09
Dear Therapist: A few months ago, I bought out my partner who I started my business with. B’H things have gone better than I could have ever imagined. Recently, however, I have become very overwhelmed trying to stay on top of the growth of the company. I have mentioned to some friends and family how I have been feeling and I am met with a lot of flak for complaining about something that is a positive thing. I understand that, but the fact …
Should I Stop my Meds?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-07-18 08:58:57
Dear Therapist: I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder as a teenager and have been on medication since then. While I am doing well and have not had any episodes in a long time I have not been successful in work or in shidduchim. I feel that the medication stifles my personality and makes me less of who I really am. I have discussed this with my psychiatrist, but he just tries to push me off. I think I am ready to move off my medication and move o …
My Father-in-Law's Ultimatum
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-07-18 09:06:52
Dear Therapist: My husband and I are faced with the following situation and we're stumped as to what to tell our children. Our family was always very close to my parents in law and their children at home. My father in law is a controlling person. He thinks the world is against him. He doesn't talk to most of his married kids because he thinks they don't "hold" of him. My husband and I are close to the married siblings. My father in law recently …
Misophonia
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-07-18 09:14:02
Dear Therapist: I have this "thing" where I get filled with extreme rage, frustration, and hate from hearing certain sounds like chewing loud, slurping, whistling, wiggling of feet, snoring... These sounds drive me crazy to the point where I need to leave the room or I might just yell at the person causing the trigger. People think I'm just finicky and I have to learn to deal with these noises. When I mentioned this to a friend, they said it sou …
Fear of Illness
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-07-18 09:17:35
Dear Therapist: I work as a social worker in a New York area hospital. I work closely with patients and families of some very sick people. I love what I do and wouldn't trade it for anything. Every year, around the same time (early summer) my anxiety about becoming ill really ratchets up. I have discussed this with supervisors and fellow clinicians and have come to understand this as being something that comes along with the territory of my job …
Summer Camp and Homesickness
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-07-18 09:23:04
Dear Therapist: Our 11-year-old son is going to sleepaway camp for the first time this summer. While he is excited about this he has always had difficulty adjusting to new situations and environments. Meaning he has a bit of an anxious personality. That being the case we are wondering if you have any advice as to how to "prevent" homesickness? What can we do to best prepare him for his first sleepaway experience? I also wonder what you think of …
Depression in Childhood
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-07-18 09:26:08
Dear Therapist: It is scary to hear about kids/teenagers who looked like they were fine but were really suffering emotionally or dealing with very difficult issues that no one was aware of. My friend’s daughter, who is now older, recently told her that she was dealing with some serious depressive thoughts as a teen but had kept it all in and pretended to be happy on the outside. Is it possible that something as significant as depression ca …