Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW Weekly Q&A As Published In Yated Ne'eman
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Showing Results 80 - 120 (373 total)
Should I Stop my Meds?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-07-18 08:58:57
Dear Therapist: I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder as a teenager and have been on medication since then. While I am doing well and have not had any episodes in a long time I have not been successful in work or in shidduchim. I feel that the medication stifles my personality and makes me less of who I really am. I have discussed this with my psychiatrist, but he just tries to push me off. I think I am ready to move off my medication and move o …
Should I Seek Therapy Simply for Accountability?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-11-28 11:22:11
Dear Therapist: Is there a benefit to using therapy just for accountability? I pretty much know what I need to do but I push things off a bit and I find that it helps for me to have someone that I check in with weekly to keep me on my game. I have done therapy in the past for deeper issues but I feel like at this point it's more about taking action. I am considering resuming therapy but mostly just for the goal of being accountable to someone. Pu …
Should I Hire an Addict?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2020-03-31 12:15:03
Dear Therapist: Can you please share your opinion on whether it is possible to be "cured" from an addiction? If someone had an addiction and had treatment are they ok now or is this something they will struggle with for the rest of their lives? I ask specifically because it's nogeah a business partner who wants to come back in the business now but when he was struggling caused the business significant harm. He is a good friend and a talented pers …
Should I Choose My Husband or My Parents?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-03-07 15:23:08
Dear Therapist: My husband has a very difficult time getting along with my parents. I am not sure what the source of this is but it's been like that for a while. My husband is a great father and wonderful husband and man, and my parents are wonderful too. We all have our quirks and somehow my husband and parents just grate on each other the wrong way. We have somehow managed this over the first 5 years of our marriage but it seems to be get …
Should I Be My Friend's Therapist?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-03-29 12:09:27
Dear Therapist: I am a 17 year old girl and one of my closest friends is constantly saying very depressing things. I'm not always sure if she is serious or just doing it to get attention. I don't know if anyone else is aware of this but she definitely does not want me to tell anyone. Point is, I'm not really sure what to do about it. It's getting to be a bit much for me but if I don't listen to her and take her seriously I don't think she will ha …
Should All Children Express Emotion?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2020-03-31 12:40:21
Dear Therapist: What can I do to help my child express his emotions better? Most of my kids young and old don’t have any problems discussing issues, how they feel, or expressing emotion but my 8-year-old just doesn’t seem to have the vocabulary to describe how he feels. He seems to get “stuck” when it comes to emotions. Overall, he is a great kid who does well in school and with friends; it’s when it comes to things …
Shiva House Etiquette
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2020-08-13 12:30:30
Dear Therapist: A friend of mine who recently sat shiva made a comment to me about how some people were so helpful and supportive and others not so much. As professionals I was wondering if you could give your suggestions on how to properly be menachem avel and be supportive of those who have suffered a loss? Response: Every person mourns differently. According to the Kübler-Ross model, there are official …
Sensitive Children
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-06-28 14:03:16
Dear Therapist: My son is a very sensitive boy and every time I tell him “no” or reprimand him for something, as I would to any of my other children, he always looks deeply hurt. Should I treat him differently than, or the same as, my other children? I feel that in life he will have to deal with “no”s and not everything will go his way and people will tell him off. Am I correct in my judgment? Response: Your questio …
Self-Esteem Revisited Again
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-11-28 11:19:46
Dear Therapist: I enjoy your weekly responses and I think that it has provided me with a lot of insight into my own life. My question is: How would you define self-esteem? Is it the same thing as self-confidence? Is it something that someone can build on their own or must they be born and raised with? I understand that everyone might have a slightly different definition but I think I would appreciate hearing all of your perspectives on this. Than …
Self-Esteem Revisited
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-11-22 13:00:07
Dear Therapist: I am a young adult with anxiety and I constantly beat myself with mistakes that I make. I was wondering if you can please give me insight on how to deal with it. I'm a bit impulsive. Ex: I spent a bit too much on food recently and now I'm upset that I don't have any money left for more important things that I need. I think very bad thoughts that are not letting me move on in life. I get very tense and have negative thoughts like & …
Self-Esteem-Based Opinions
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2023-01-19 15:14:40
Dear Therapist: I'm in my early fifties, married with children and grandchildren. Problem is I'm still trying to figure out who I am. I don't have good self-esteem and not sure of my opinions. I don't express my emotions, maybe I don't trust them. You can even see in my walk that I am nervous/not confident (at least I think so). I grew up in a house without shalom bayis. What can I do now, at this stage of life, to help myself? Thank yo …
Self-Esteem and Emotional Reactivity
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2023-01-19 15:12:17
Dear Therapist: I have always been jealous of those who are able to keep calm when everything around them is in crisis. There are some people who it seems no matter what is going on around them are able to keep cool, stay rational, and make sound decisions. I always tend to panic and do exactly the wrong thing. Is this just a personality type that you are born with or is this something you can develop? If it is something you can really become goo …
Self-discipline
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-12-26 13:08:42
Dear Therapist: I have never been what you would call a "disciplined" person. I have always been jealous of those that kept their daily chavrusos so consistently and daven at 6:30 every morning. I can't say I am an unsuccessful person and bh I do well but I am a bit all over the place. My question is: Is this something I can learn and develop? Are there strategies or therapies that can help me develop discipline? Or …
Self-Confidence and Religiosity
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2023-01-19 15:36:21
Dear Therapist: My 15-year-old son has always been a bit shy and nervous. Not the bravest kid, he doesn't really take chances or challenge things. BH, he is a good kid and is doing well in mesivta. His 2 older brothers have struggled a lot with their yiddishkeit. Our son now would like to go to therapy to help him be calmer and more confident. A lot of his worries have a frumkeit aspect to it. He seems to look up to his …
School to Work Adjustment
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2021-11-18 10:45:11
Dear Therapist: I am a 22-year-old former yeshiva bochur. I have always struggled in yeshiva and never did well. I recently made the decision together with my parents and rov to find a job. I was able to find a job that keeps me busy, will teach me an important industry, and has a lot of growth potential. I also have a chavrusa daily. Surprisingly, I have found the adjustment to this new stage in life to be very difficult. I am workin …
Religious Obsessions
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2020-08-13 12:22:11
Dear Therapist: One of my teenagers is busy with "streaks." It seems that that is the only way he feels he shteigs. He will be very occupied, lemoshol, that he hasn't missed davening in “x” amount of days. Then when he misses he will completely fall apart and miss minyan for days at a time. It seems to be all or nothing for him. It is unclear to me exactly how much, but this mehalech does seem t …
Recommended Therapist or Available Therapist
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2022-05-11 11:52:15
Dear Therapist: Thank you very much for your informative column, I look forward to reading it weekly. I recently began looking for a therapist for my teenage daughter. The primary issue I think is her mood and she seems to me to be depressed. I did my research about the best therapists available for the problem we are dealing with. Unfortunately, all the more experienced therapists who were recommended are not available and have long waiting l …
Rebellious Teenager
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2023-01-19 15:32:11
Dear Therapist: We are writing this out of deep frustration in the hope that you will have some guidance for us. Our 16-year-old son has become rebellious and has been out of yeshiva the whole year. He seemingly spends his days and nights getting into trouble and living completely not like a mensch. He keeps crazy hours, dresses strange, has very few friends. and in general, is not being matzliach. My husband and I pride ours …
Rambunctious Boys
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-11-16 10:00:13
Dear Therapist: We are parents of 4 lovely boys BH. The house is very "rough and tumble" and while the boys often play very well together they also get physical with each other. We are having trouble figuring out when to intervene and when to let it go. We feel that on the one hand they need to learn to work it out among themselves; on the other hand at some point we need to intervene. Can you please give us some guidelines in raising rambunctiou …
Rabbi or Therapist
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-04-26 15:53:25
Dear Therapist: Our daughter has recently asked us to see (and pay for) a therapist. She says that her reasons for this are because she feels empty, without direction in life, and is not finding fulfillment. She is 22 years old, has never had any issues before, had no major difficulties in life, has a good job and has always done well. My husband and I have always felt that she could be a little more sincere with her yiddishkeit. She does everyth …
Purim and Positivity
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2023-04-18 16:02:23
Dear Therapist: There is so much talk about the mental health issues that many are facing. Lekovod the simcha of Purim can you please share some of the good news? Where have you seen success, and what has inspired you, as to how both individuals and the tzibur have made strides in the area of mental health? Thank you! Ah Freilichin Purim! Response: Our society does tend to focus on problems rather than on …
PTSD in Healthcare Workers
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2020-08-13 11:59:10
Dear Therapist: My wife works as a nurse in a local New Jersey hospital. Needless to say she has been working very hard and endured a lot over the last 6 weeks. She has seen a lot off suffering and death unfortunately. She has worked tirelessly as an advocate for hospitalized patients and their families but has not always been successful. She acknowledges that she might need some counseling when this is all over but says now is not the time &ldqu …
Psychiatrist Knows Best?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2021-03-01 13:10:39
Dear Therapist: My daughter, who is a young adult and therefore has the autonomy to make her own decisions regarding medication, opted to take medication for depression. This in spite of the fact that as her mother I know her better than a doctor who spent 10-12 minutes interviewing her and over 40 minutes interviewing me at the initial appointment (after having been told the opposite is what would happen). Said doctor diagnosed my da …
Psychiatric Dating
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2020-10-23 08:12:44
Dear Therapist: My son has struggled with a kind of constant but not so severe depression for a while. He has a lot of trouble moving forward, being productive, and is often just down. He is at the age where he should be starting shidduchim and many of his friends are dating. He has been working with a therapist and had been getting better but recently is not doing as well. His therapist has suggested that he see a psychiatrist to possi …
Psychedelics
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2023-06-29 13:19:50
Dear Therapist: I experienced a lot of serious trauma as a teenager. Now, years later I still suffer greatly from it. Someone recommended "ketamine assisted psychotherapy." I was wondering what your opinion of this is and if you would recommend it. Response: Hallucinogenics have recently become increasingly popular, both in general and in conjunction with therapy. Specifically, with regard to trauma therapy various drugs with hallucinogeni …
Productivity Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2023-06-29 13:02:11
Dear Therapist: My son (19) hasn't been productive for a long time. He has been in therapy for two years and it hasn't really made much of a difference. He gave me permission to speak to his therapist who basically agreed that he hasn't made much progress and that the most important thing for him is to be productive but he just isn't moving forward. The therapist himself said he considered stopping with him but is hesitant to do so if my son does …
Problematic In-Laws
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2022-05-11 11:33:29
Dear Therapist: My husband has a mental health issue, which is b"h under control, with the help of therapy and a lot of support. With incredible siyata dishmaya, we were able to repair the damage it caused to our relationship. However, because of his issues, which started in his parents' house at a young age, I have a very bad relationship with my husband's parents. They are aware of the issue and have been incredibly unsupportive. In fact, …
Preventative Mental Healthcare
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2021-11-18 08:25:28
Dear Therapist: I am an avid reader of this column and have found it very informative. I think it is interesting that so many of the questions are focused on disorders. People are asking what to do when they are struggling with a mental health issue. In general, I find that people do not think of "mental health" until something goes wrong. I imagine that just as with physical health there are things one can do to stay in shape and keep healthy to …
Presumption of Therapeutic Obstacles
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2023-01-19 15:30:05
Dear Therapist: I'm a thirty-year-old wife and mother who's been recommended for therapy by my rov to address trauma and a difficult childhood. I am concerned about some obstacles that I think will come up—and that I have heard from others—and am curious if the panelists have any solutions. Being that the average session time is 45-50 minutes, how is it feasible to get anywhere in therapy? It takes a good fifteen minut …
Premarital Counseling
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2022-11-17 13:44:35
Dear Therapist: Our son recently got engaged B"H. He doing very well but is one of those kids who "took the scenic route." He had struggles with yiddishkeit and in yeshiva over the years. He told us that his rebbi recommended that he and his kallah go to a marriage therapist while they are engaged to work on their relationship. This frightened my husband and me. If they are already having issues maybe this isn't the right match? We were …
Post-Traumatic Video Stress
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2021-11-18 10:35:05
Dear Therapist: I am a 17-year-old girl who has had no psychological issues in the past. A few months ago, someone I know thought it would be a good idea to show me a very violent video clip. I can't go into details but basically it involved a real video of someone being killed. Seriously I don't know why a person would show that to someone. I understandably freaked out initially and was very traumatized. I pretty much got over it, but it still k …
Personality Disorder?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2023-08-24 15:31:54
Dear Therapist: I have a question that has been weighing on my mind for a while. I have a relative that is unfortunately unwell. I am not a professional but from what I've read on the subject I think that she has histrionic or borderline personality disorder. She is constantly needy and crying to everyone near her how she's afflicted with (fill in blank) and how she has the worst life. She craves attention and publicly ac …
Perfectionism: Good or Bad?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2023-06-29 13:04:59
Dear Therapist: I have been told for a while by others that I have "perfectionistic" tendencies. I am bh doing very well but I do have a significant amount of stress in my life. I struggle with the idea of "perfectionism" being a bad thing. Shouldn't we always be looking for growth, excellence, and to be the best we have to be? What is the difference between healthy and unhealthy perfectionism and how does one tell the difference? …
Peer Pressure in Adolescents
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-07-26 15:11:37
Dear Therapist: I am very concerned about the group of friends that my 14-year-old son has chosen. He has changed a lot for the worse since they started hanging out. It's a whole "pack" that spends all their time together and they are all negative influences on each other. The mesivta is struggling to try and figure out how to deal with them. I am hopeful that you could suggest a way that we could separate him from them. All our requests, pleas, …
Peer Pressure and Self-Esteem
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-09-28 12:22:12
Dear Therapist: Can you please give me some good guidelines on how to deal with peer pressure? I am very affected by what the people around me are doing. I don't know if it's that I'm afraid of people getting angry with me or I need to be the center of attention. I think that that is my most difficult challenge and if I could just not be afraid to be different I would be a much better person. Response: Most often, issues with peer pr …
Passive-Aggressive Mother
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-09-07 09:59:56
Dear Therapist: I have always had a difficult relationship with my mother. I always blamed myself. As I get older, with the help of some friends, I can realize some of the issues. It is impossible to have a normal conversation with her. It’s like she won’t say straightforward what she means, and nothing gets resolved. For example, I can tell she is angry and something I did upset her, but she denies it but then seems to ignore me for …
Parent's Verbal Abuse
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2021-03-01 13:35:21
Dear Therapist: I am aware of someone who is emotionally unhealthy and demonstrates real negative verbal abuse such as constantly putting others down/bad name calling, explosive reactions, and ignoring and not caring about others’ needs. This person is completely incapable of raising children and constantly lashing out at them and destroying them to pieces.
I am very concerned for these children and the negative effects th …
Parenting Beyond Childhood
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-02-16 09:58:29
Dear Therapist: My son (age 26) was diagnosed with anxiety by our family physician a few years back. I took him to a psychiatrist and he was given medication. He does very well when he is on the medication but I find he constantly skips doses. Even more concerning is that without telling me he will try and take himself off the medicine to see how he can do without it. I will often notice that he isn’t doing well and will confront him and re …
Parental Alienation
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2023-08-14 11:03:47
Dear Therapist: I appreciate your weekly insights and value the fact that there are therapists and mental health professionals who are true bnei Torah. I have heard rumblings about an issue and would like to give you an opportunity to clarify it for us. Can you please explain what is "parental alienation" which I understand to mean is when a therapist instructs a client to break off contact with a parent? Is this something that frum therapis …
Overspending Husband
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-11-25 13:29:54
Dear Therapist: My husband and I have a wonderful marriage baruch Hashem. We share the same goals and are overall very much on the same page. One area where we keep having arguments is regarding finances. I am much more of a saver and a planner and he has an attitude of "we will figure it out." This is the kind of thing that keeps coming up again and again in our marriage and we just don't seem to have a path that works things out. …
OTD Friend
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2022-03-15 12:08:17
Dear Therapist: I have a friend that went off the derech and I think I can be a mashpia on him. I've texted him a few times and called him once in a while but he always ignores me. I'm just curious does he think I'm invading his privacy and I should stop calling or he just is embarrassed of his new lifestyle and I should keep calling him in order to mechazek him? Response: I obviously don’t know what it …
Opposites Attract...Or Not
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-01-13 10:11:00
Dear Therapist: I am in my low 20's and have OCD and Anxiety. Baruch Hashem, I am more or less stable as I am in college, and holding down a job at the same time. My question is: In a Shidduch, do you think I should look for someone who’s similar to me- someone who also has Anxiety or some other disorder, or should I rather look for someone who’s "regular" without those kinds of challenges? (Honestly, I would prefer someone who doesn' …
Oh! Was I Analyzing You?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-08-20 16:24:12
Dear Therapist: I am struggling with a problem I fear is most uncommon. I have recently started practicing as a therapist. This is a positive thing, or at least it should be. My concern is that some friends of mine from the past have begun to resent speaking with me because they feel that I will automatically treat them as clients. This is mostly, but not limited to, secret or personal events in their lives. My question is, as therapists what are …
OCD or Kefira
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2022-05-26 15:22:28
Dear Therapist: My daughter has always been an all-around healthy 17-year-old . She does tend to have anxiety but it’s always been kept in check. Lately though she’s become a shell of herself. She’s had trouble eating and sleeping and is not herself. We’ve tried very hard to get to the root cause of her distress. Finally she confided that she’s been having intrusive thoughts of kefira type themes. She’s horr …
Obsessive Praying
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-11-25 13:28:09
Dear Therapist: I have been struggling for many years with my davening. Many times, I feel that if I only put enough emotion and feeling into my davening, I can get the results that I want. The problem is that forcing myself backfires. It's hard to concentrate on the meaning of the words when trying to create feelings. In my case, I wind up worrying all day about my relationship with Hashem, if I am a good person, and if I am a proper maamin …
Obsessive or Religious?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-12-14 12:51:12
Dear Therapist: We have a wonderful daughter who is back from seminary, happily working and doing very well BH, but here is the concern... While my daughter was in high school she started taking on more and more chumras and started becoming more and more frum and shtark. It affected her relationship with her friends, how she dressed, what she ate, (or didn't eat), her sleep, her davening, her ability and confidence in herself when making decision …
NVLD Anyone?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-02-07 10:41:05
Dear Therapist: I was recently at a meeting at my son's yeshiva and was told that my son should be evaluated by a neuropsychologist. When I asked why, the principal suggested that he should be tested to see if he has a nonverbal learning disability. I have scheduled an appointment, but was curious what this condition is, how it would present with a frum boy in yeshiva, and what can be done about it. I am looking for practical suggestions that ca …
Non Verbal Learning Disability Revisited
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2020-08-13 12:07:01
Dear Therapist: I am a 17 year old girl in a mainstream school, who has been through "tons" of therapy in my life. Language/speech therapy, O.T., P.T., Social skills—you name it. I have never gotten a clear diagnosis, but upon reading your article (January 25,2019) and then recently reading a book by Yated columnist Rivka Schonfeld, it appears to my parents and I that I really fall under the category of Non Verbal Learning Disability, being …
Night Terrors
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-10-25 13:42:44
Dear Therapist: My very bright, mature, lovable, happy 5-year-old son has begun to experience what I have been told is called "night terror". He is a very happy child during the day, definitely with a more intense personality, but very healthy and well-adjusted and extremely bright. At night, he will wake up in terror, screaming, cowering in the corner, looking at me or my husband with terror, eyes opened wide, with real fear...and then a few min …
My Wife's Depression
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-09-26 10:35:15
Dear Therapist: My wife suffers from major depressive disorder and has for many years. Most of the time it is kept under control with medication but every so often will flare up into a severe depression. She has currently been suffering from a depressive bout for the past month and a half. She is working with a psychiatrist and therapist to get better. Part of her depression is that she doesn't want to do anything but sit at home all day. Sittin …
My Wife Spends All My Money!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-06-07 08:48:16
Dear Therapist: I know this sounds almost cliché but I can’t get my wife to stop spending money. Sounds like a bad joke no? I work hard and make a very nice living but she seems to have no awareness of financial responsibility. Whenever I speak to her she feels bad about it but it doesn’t really stop her. I don’t want to turn this into a huge fight, and she is sensitive to confrontation, but I’m telling you it&rsquo …
My Wife Feels Controlled
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2022-03-15 12:01:15
Dear Therapist: I got married a few months ago and everything is amazing, I just have one problem. My wife's older sister who got married a few years before us is married to an extremely uptight and controlling person. My wife was specifically looking for someone laid back, relaxed, easygoing, and nonopinionated after witnessing what her sister is putting up with. I definitely fit the description. However, any time I do voice my op …
My Unstable Parents
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-11-09 13:21:27
Dear Therapist: My parents are very controlling, critical, self-centered and emotionally unstable (they may possibly have personality disorders). One of my sisters recently started disconnecting by minimizing her interactions with my parents. My parents are very hurt and angry and are trying many tactics to change my sister's behaviors (which includes badmouthing her to rabbanim). I come from a large family and all of the children are married. We …
My Therapist Abandoned Me
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-07-05 14:59:35
Dear Therapist: Thank you so much for your weekly column, I really enjoy the panelists’ responses. I have decided to seek therapy because of my eating habits and low self-esteem. I started seeing a therapist with whom I was very happy and I enjoyed going every week. After around two months the therapist informed me that she will be opening her own private practice and referred me to a different therapist. I had a very hard time with this as …
My Son's Therapist Won't Talk to Me
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2023-04-18 16:12:25
Dear Therapist: My 18-year-old son is currently seeing a therapist which was recommended by his rosh reshiva. Even though we are paying for the therapy our only interaction with the therapist is to arrange for payment. My son doesn't want us to speak to the therapist and when we have called the therapist, he doesn't want to speak to us either. How are we supposed to help our son if we have no idea what is going on with him? It also seems very unf …
My Son's School Wants Him in Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2021-03-01 13:24:46
Dear Therapist: My son’s yeshiva has been putting some pressure on me and my wife to send him for therapy. The primary reason for this seems to be because he has been getting in trouble at school. Not serious trouble but being disruptive in class. My son has a great personality and is a leader, so I am sure that this is partly why the focus is on him. The yeshiva is insistent that he should be seen by a therapist because they assume that th …
My Son's Medication Obsession
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2023-08-14 11:10:08
Dear Therapist: My teenage son (18) had been struggling with anxious and obsessive thoughts and went to see a therapist based on the recommendation of our rov. He was also told by the rov that medication could be an option as well. He was very against taking medication, probably out of a concern for shidduchim, and decided to just try therapy. The issue is that since he knows that the option of medication is out there, he has …
My Son Is Overbearing
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2022-05-26 15:32:21
Dear Therapist: Our 20-year-old son recently returned home from a year learning in Israel. He is boy who struggled a lot in his teens both academically and religiously. Baruch Hashem, he seems to have had an excellent year of growth, he likes his rabbeim and has learned a lot about being a mentsch, though he still has a way to go. He is very proud of his year and some new concepts and ideas he has learned. The yeshiva has an emphasis on emotio …
My Son is Being Left Back!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-11-25 13:20:30
Dear Therapist: It is becoming clear that we are going to need to have our son who is now in 3rd grade go back to 2nd grade after Succos. He is too far behind and we can't provide the support that is necessary to help him maintain grade level. I am not sure how to break this news to him and how to help him so that this will not scar him emotionally or socially. Please advise us how to do this in the most painless way possible. Thank you …
My Son is a Weakling!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2023-04-18 16:20:19
Dear Therapist: I have a 12-year-old son who has always been a bit of the “weaker” sort. Always been very needy, very fragile, as well as academically challenged. He always seems to want more and more attention from mommy and daddy and spends at least 3-4 weeks a year home sick (really sick not faking it). It seems like it is just the personality that he was born with. As he gets older, I am becoming more and more concerned about his …
My Sister's Rare Condition
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-03-27 12:15:56
Dear Therapist: I have a sister with a rare medical condition. Hardly anyone knows about it and I found out by mistake. I have watched her surmount her many challenges, but I am stuck pitying her (and myself) and wishing things were different. She’s such a good person so why her?! I have not moved past it and it pains me deeply watching her... I’m helpless and powerless in terms of helping and I wish there was something I can do Any …
My Paranoid Sister
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-05-18 13:43:26
Dear Therapist: My sister has always thought that everyone was out to get her. She is extremely insecure and very sensitive. Now her paranoia has increased to the point where she is in a fight with everyone in her family. She is furious at me because she thinks I didn’t try hard enough to get her kids into high school. She thinks my husband ruined her kids’ shidduchim. She thinks my brothers are trying to push her husband out of the f …
My Oppositional Teenager
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2020-08-13 11:56:36
Dear Therapist: I am writing to see if you have any suggestions regarding our 17-year-old son. In general, he hasn’t been doing awesome over the last year. He has a particularly tenuous relationship with his mother while he does a little better with me. This period of quarantine has been particularly difficult. I guess I can break down the issue into a couple different questions. He is not really functioning on a normal schedule, waking up …
My Narcissistic Son
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-07-25 10:41:25
Dear Therapist: I am writing this letter with great difficulty. I am a Holocaust survivor who had two children. One of them died of serious illness. My second child was showered with everything. He has not visited me in years because since I am widowed I am on a limited income and he feels should be getting more money from me. My son has never worked as he claims he is always learning. His spouse earns over one hundred thousand dollars a year an …
My Kid Bites!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2020-03-31 12:52:03
Dear Therapist: What is the correct way to teach children not to bite? Our 4-year-old has been having this issue. When I was a kid, we were threatened with getting pepper on our tongue, getting soap in our mouths, or being bit back ourselves (so you know what it feels like). My sense is these ideas don’t fly today. Or do they? It can really hurt the other kids. Do you have any better ideas? Response: The three remedies to which you r …
My Job Trauma
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2022-03-15 12:14:30
Dear Therapist: I had a terrible experience with my first job. I had been looking forward to this career and had high expectations but things really did not work out well. I had a very hard time with my boss who had a strong personality and we clashed. I only lasted 3 months before we realized it was time to move on. I had wanted to leave sooner but he actually convinced me to stay. I think he felt he could get me to buy into his way of thinking …
My In-Laws Make Us Pay
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2022-03-15 12:34:02
Dear Therapist: My husband and I are married for ten years, we have 6 beautiful children. BH our expenses for tuition, healthcare and rent are significant. We should be able to make it to the end of the month without an issue since we are both working. However, that rarely happens. My husband grew up in a home where both his parents worked full time but never budgeted or thought about the future. Now, in their mid-70’s the financial situati …
My Impersonal Parental Relationships
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2021-11-18 10:50:13
Dear Therapist: As a teenage boy I am going through lots of ups and downs. Throughout this period there is one particular issue that is getting worse and worse. That is my parents. As it stands now, I cannot "open up" to them about anything personal in my life. Whether it is about friends, family, teachers, or anything that is personal, I find it practically impossible to speak to my parents (though I do find it easier to speak about personal iss …
My Husband's Therapy Isn't Working
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2020-03-31 12:00:35
Dear Therapist: My husband had a rough childhood. His parents were very "old school" and harsh and critical. This has led to a general lack of confidence and low self-esteem which is prevalent in everything he does (or doesn't do). He has been in therapy for two years and says that he finds it very beneficial. However, as an outside observer, I don't really see any change other than him creating a narrative for his problems. He understands why h …
My Husband's Therapy is Hurting Our Marriage
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2022-03-15 12:06:27
Dear Therapist: Thank you for the wonderful education that you provide for our community. My husband is currently in therapy for mental health issues that he unfortunately brought into the marriage. I am in therapy as well, dealing with terrible trauma that these issues caused. I believe that my husband's therapist has helped him greatly in some areas, but does not have a clear understanding of some of the other areas and how they impact th …
My Husband's Secret Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-09-13 09:20:24
Dear Therapist: My husband recently revealed to me that he has been going to therapy for the last 6 months. I had no idea that he was going or that anything was wrong. I thought we BH had a good marriage and were doing well raising our family. When I asked him why he is going he says there are certain things he wanted to discuss with someone but refuses to tell me what they are. He won't even tell me the name of the person he is seeing. I am comp …
My Friend Needs Therapy...I Think
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2021-05-19 12:34:20
Dear Therapist: I recently read an article describing different people who should be seeing a therapist. I have a good friend whom I feel matches the description in the article. The more I think about it the more I honestly think he could benefit from seeing one. The problem is being a 21-year-old and being told by your close friend that you should be seeing a therapist isn't the most pleasant experience. How as a friend am I able to convey over …
My Freeloading Brother
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2021-11-18 10:28:19
Dear Therapist: My 27-year-old brother has become very stuck in his life and dependent on my sisters and me. He should be fully capable of getting a job, getting married, and moving forward with life. Instead, he has come to completely rely on his siblings for everything.(Our parents are sweet people but older and not so involved.) He sleeps in my sister's basement and eats the meals by us. He will occasionally get a job, but it never lasts …
My Father's Unlicensed Exposure Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2022-03-15 12:23:53
Dear Therapist: When I was a teenager, I developed a severe phobia. I don’t think it is relevant to be more specific as to what it was. What matters is that my father learned a lot about it, got a lot of books and workbooks, and took it upon himself to help me work through it. The best method he said is a CBT approach called “exposure therapy.” This led to him pushing me very hard to be in the exact situations that were making m …
My Father Won't Let Me See a Therapist
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-05-03 15:54:19
Dear Therapist: I am a 12th grader in what is considered a very chosuva mesivta. There are some things that I would like to discuss with someone. They cause me a lot of worry but I do not feel comfortable discussing this with a rebbe or mashgiach in yeshiva. I think that maybe a therapist would be the right type of person to discuss this with. The issue is that my father doesn't hold of therapy. I am not sure how to bring this up with him and I d …
My Father-in-Law's Ultimatum
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-07-18 09:06:52
Dear Therapist: My husband and I are faced with the following situation and we're stumped as to what to tell our children. Our family was always very close to my parents in law and their children at home. My father in law is a controlling person. He thinks the world is against him. He doesn't talk to most of his married kids because he thinks they don't "hold" of him. My husband and I are close to the married siblings. My father in law recently …
My Daughter's Addiction Is Her Fault...Isn't It?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-07-26 12:50:14
Dear Therapist: Without getting into the gory details, my daughter is currently being treated for a substance abuse addiction. My husband and I are trying to be supportive of her while understanding that it is going to take time. We are being told that we are supposed to view this as an “illness” just like any other mental health or physical illness, such as depression or heart disease. I can’t for the life of me understand how …
My Daughter Wants to Ditch Her Friend
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-09-06 15:42:42
Dear Therapist: My 14-year-old daughter is a kind soul. She is always nice to everyone and has many friends. She approached my husband and me recently and said she realizes that there is a friend of hers who is not a good influence on her and she doesn't think she should be spending time with her. I think her concerns are valid. She asked us for guidance about how to go about distancing herself from the relationship. Our daughter is not really th …
My Children Are My Life
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-05-16 10:54:24
Dear Therapist: I am a mother of a large family k"ah, with a B"H healthy good marriage. I have come across many times in articles, speeches, etc.… a concept that is stressed that when couples talk just between themselves (i.e. date nights, walks, or just some good old schmoozing), they shouldn't talk about the kids and about the husband's work. We are told that couples should speak about "other stuff like they spoke when the …
My Child is Stealing
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-05-15 11:39:58
Dear Therapist: Our 11-year-old son has been stealing things from his friends in school. We keep finding things in his room that we know he didn’t get from us. Recently he admitted that he took a toy from another boy’s briefcase. We are devastated. We give him everything he needs and he comes from a house that I would say has excellent chinuch. I have no idea where he picked up such a horrible thing. Additionally, we are very wo …
My Bullying Co-Worker
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2021-11-18 10:41:37
Dear Therapist: I recently started a new job which I was very excited about. Things started well enough but there is another woman who has chosen to make my life miserable. I believe she feels threatened by me because we have a similar position (though I don't think her job is in jeopardy at all). She never misses a chance for a nasty comment be it to coworkers or even managers. I tried to have a discussion with her about it, but she totall …
My Brother Needs Premarital Counseling
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-09-06 15:37:14
Dear Therapist: My brother has never really been that socially savvy. He has no official diagnosis as far as I know of but he has struggled in the past socially a bit. He recently got engaged and I am a bit nervous about how he will do in marriage. What would be the best way to prevent any issues and deal with them before they become a real problem? Is there any type of premarriage counseling or guidance that you recommend? Even a book that you t …
My Brother Has Schizophrenia
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2023-01-19 15:16:56
Dear Therapist: I have been hesitant to write for a while because this is not a scenario that most people deal with. My son, who has always had mental health issues, was recently diagnosed with psychosis - the doctors say most likely he has some form schizophrenia. This is not so shocking to us because, like I said, he has been struggling for a while. We are hopeful that with the right treatment he will be able to live a full and productive life …
My Angry, Abusive Brother
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-11-25 13:24:11
Dear Therapist: I have a middle-aged younger brother who lives a depressed, resentful, lonely, unemployed life. My mother, an almanna, has a heart of gold and would do anything to help him. Yet, he gets extremely angry at her when they speak on the phone, and expresses deep resentment to her, which is similar to how he connected with our father a"h. He thinks she favors me over him, among other gripes. On the rare occasion that he visi …
My 17-Year-Old Thinks I Don't Understand Her!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2023-06-29 13:15:24
Dear Therapist: Our daughter (she is 17 years old and a bit moody) has recently begun complaining to us that we don't understand her and that we have no relationship with her. This seems to be a common teenage complaint but she is being very persistent that this is a problem. To be honest I can't say that she doesn't have something of a point, but I don't believe that the fault lies completely with us. We are seeking advice from a few sources but …
Moody Kids
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2023-02-15 16:04:37
Dear Therapist: I had a question I hoped you could help me with. My 11-year-old son is a bit moody. Usually when he is able to talk to me about what is bothering him, we work through it, he does really well and feels better. The problem is it takes a while for him to finally open up. He first says he doesn't want to talk about it and it takes a while for me to get it out of him. Then when he finally does, he usually feels better right away. The i …
Misophonia
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-07-18 09:14:02
Dear Therapist: I have this "thing" where I get filled with extreme rage, frustration, and hate from hearing certain sounds like chewing loud, slurping, whistling, wiggling of feet, snoring... These sounds drive me crazy to the point where I need to leave the room or I might just yell at the person causing the trigger. People think I'm just finicky and I have to learn to deal with these noises. When I mentioned this to a friend, they said it sou …
Mindfulness Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-07-19 00:00:00
Mindfulness Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-07-19 15:06:08
Dear Therapist: I am a working mother of 6 beautiful children bh, and I am dealing with the regular life stresses that come from parnassah, shalom bayis, and running a family etc. A friend of mine suggested something called "mindfulness" as a way to help me ease the stress. I have looked into it and am wondering if this is something that is used by the frum therapists? Also, do I need to actually see a therapist who is trained in this (for …
Mental Health and Dating
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2021-05-19 12:26:57
Dear Therapist: I recently went out with a boy who disclosed on the 3rd date that he was seeing a therapist for depression. He said he had struggled on an off with depression since he was a teen and had sometimes taken medication for it. It turned out that the shidduch didn’t work out for other reasons, but I was really confused as to how to deal with that information. I liked him and he seemed like a perfectly normal boy, wh …
Medication or Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-03-14 13:48:24
Dear Therapist: I have a specific fear that I have a hard time with but it isn't something that I really have to face very frequently. Let's say it's flying. It's not something I do very often but when I need to it's really hard. I was prescribed a medication I can take from my doctor and I can use it before flying and I feel ok. Is this a good enough way to deal with it or would it be better to invest in therapy to get rid of the fear? Would the …
Medication Compliance
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2023-01-19 15:20:38
Dear Therapist: Our 18-year-old daughter was prescribed medication for depression and we think that it makes a real difference for her. Unfortunately, she starts and stops taking it pretty much whenever she wants. We have discussed this with her therapist but get the sense that the therapist doesn't want to waste the whole session talking about medication compliance. That being said we are concerned that this might be unhealthy for her and certai …
Medication and Dating Revisited
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2023-11-22 16:00:44
Dear Therapist: As a teenager our son saw a therapist for a while due to some burnout/depression. Baruch Hashem with some adjustments to his yeshiva life and the help he received he is doing amazing and has been for a while. He is still on a low dose of medication which has worked well for him. When he tried going off, he relapsed and our consensus is that it's best for him to stay on it for now. Now that he is starting shidduchim he is very nerv …
Medication and Dating
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2021-03-01 12:57:35
Dear Therapist: I’m on medication (citolophram) for minor depression, so minor that I “lived” for 20 years with it always wanting to go for help, but never being desperate. My parents put me on meds with the guidance of a qualified top psychiatrist although I was going into shidduchim. It wasn’t even a discussion; medication was the best option for me along with regular therapy and that’s what we did. I could have st …
Medical Anxiety
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2023-06-29 13:12:30
Dear Therapist: I have always been a bit of an anxious person, particularly when it comes to my health and the health of my family. For a while I was pretty obsessive and was constantly going to doctors "just to make sure" I was ok. Any little ache or pain I made an appointment and had it looked at. At some point in my life, I realized that I was making myself (and my doctors) crazy and I learned to control myself, essentially learning to ignore …
Mazel Tov! It's...The Baby Blues
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-08-09 13:33:25
Dear Therapist: After my last baby, I was feeling very sad and not myself. I thought it was just because I was very tired but people said I was depressed and I had what they call the baby blues. Now I am BH expecting again and I want to know what steps I can take to prevent this from happening again. I would appreciate any advice you can offer. Response: What used to be known as postpartum depression is a very common. Though many peo …
Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make Me a Match
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-01-25 12:50:22
Dear Therapist: I am a single boy who has been dating for 4 years. Whenever I start dating I get tremendous pressure from my parents to get married. I can’t think straight when I am dating because of all the pressure; of course, the shaddchanim join in as well. I have started saying no to any shidduchim that are read to me because I can’t put myself through this again. My parents seem to think that all the girls I have dated are prett …
My Husband or My Therapy: Should I Have to Choose?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2022-05-11 11:49:15
Dear Therapist: I am interested in starting to see a therapist. Mostly because I have a high amount of pressure and stress in my life and think it could be helpful to have a neutral person to share with weekly. My husband has had a hard time with this idea and says he feels hurt that I need to discuss things with a therapist and that I can't share them with him. He says he will be frustrated that there is someone that hears more about my life …
Marriage Intrusion?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-11-25 13:17:32
Dear Therapist: I am worried that my daughter who just went to seminary is spending way too much time at her newly married sister's home. I think she is missing out on the full experience and the chance to make new friends. I am more concerned that it isn't good for my shana rishona couple to have someone in the house all the time. Both my daughters say that I am over reacting and it's not a big deal. I would appreciate your opinion and …
Marriage and Siblings
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-10-25 14:01:31
Dear Therapist: My younger sister (20 years old) got married last year. Although I am happy that she doesn’t have to deal with shidduchim any more, I am struggling with my own emotions about it. My sister was in seminary and already decided she was going to date when she came home. She “asked me” permission to date when I came to visit her that year—but only because my father told her she should. Then, when she came home s …
Marital Communication
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-11-09 12:59:06
Dear Therapist: I have been married for almost a year. Overall things are good. The problem is that whenever my husband and I have a disagreement he will completely shut down. For example, I didn't appreciate that he came home really late the other night and I told him so but instead of discussing it he got all offended and basically avoided me for 2 days. I get the impression that he thinks that I am never allowed to be upset at him or justified …
Man-Made Mental Illness?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2022-03-15 12:29:37
Dear Therapist: Thank you so much for the column, I really enjoy it each week. I would like to know what the panelists think of the following:
Of course, there are real mental illnesses that exist and those that suffer from them should obviously get the help and support that they need. But I feel like many of the people "suffering from mental illness" are suffering from man-made problems based on the expectations of our society. For instance …
Major Decisions...No Problem; Minor Ones...Well...
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-09-06 15:28:21
Dear Therapist: I have some trouble making decisions. I am not really talking about big decisions like getting married or what yeshiva to send my kids to. I actually do ok with that. It is the smaller things like where to go for Shabbos and what suit to buy and things like that which take up way too much time in my life and occupy my thoughts too much. I just go back and forth and back and forth, and it can be almost comical. It can wind up being …
"Losing It" with the Kids
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-03-27 12:10:12
Dear Therapist: Pesach is approaching! I find that as a mother of a large family I get overwhelmed at this time of year and really lose it with my kids. Overall I think I am a wonderful parent but I could use some extra tools to deal with this extra stress. Any advice? Or does this just come along with being a Jewish mother? Response: I don’t know exactly what you mean by “lose it.” I also don’t know the ages of yo …
Looking for Better Relationships
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2021-11-18 10:30:13
Dear Therapist: Hi! I am a 22-year-old boy and I recently started reading The Couch and I really find it interesting and helpful. I think that even if a question is not directly related to me, I can still learn a lot from the answers. I went through some struggles as a teenager but with awesome parents and rabbeim I got through it, and I am doing really well. I was in a yeshiva in Israel the last two years and just got back to Ame …
Learning Disability Or Something More?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-12-26 14:14:04
Dear Therapist: My 16-year-old son has a slight learning disability and has never really been able to sit still all day. Now he is in mesivta from 7:30 am until 8:30 pm. He is not doing well in yeshiva and his menahel suggested that we take him to therapy. I am not sure what/how that can possibly help. It isn't a mental health issue but more likely he just isn't cut out for his schedule. Do you think therapy would benefit him? …
Learning Changed My Son's Personality
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2020-03-31 13:14:01
Dear Therapist: My son started dorming in an out of town yeshiva this year. While he had tremendous growth in ruchniyus during the year, I am worried that his personality has been affected somewhat. He appears much more quiet and serious than his former care-free and humorous self. My husband says that this is a normal stage that bochurim go through when trying to find where they stand in the balance between a rigorous be …
Laypeople Advising Professionals
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2021-11-18 10:39:04
Dear Therapist: Hi, I work with bochurim in the community and am often involved during crises as well. I would like to know the panel’s opinion on having a doctor prescribe a fast-acting anti-anxiety medication such as Xanax or Klonopin for someone who is usually doing well but occasionally has severe bouts of anxiety? Some people have told me that just knowing they have that option, that the pills are there if they need them, can hel …
Keeping Up with the Joneses
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2022-03-15 12:03:19
Dear Therapist: Many years ago, we moved to what was then a quiet neighborhood. We were excited to live in a less developed part of town away from the hustle and bustle. Since then, a lot of other people have taken advantage of the large properties and built fancy houses here. While our neighbors are all wonderful people, the standard of living is very high, much different than when we moved in. We are starting to feel the pressure and as our kid …
Keep Up With the Joneses?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2023-09-12 11:54:50
Dear Therapist: I live in a neighborhood/community where there is a big emphasis on money. It is a young neighborhood where people are just starting work, and some are making serious money and throwing it around. So there has recently become this pressure to “keep up with the Joneses.” I have a salaried job and al pi derech hateva I am not going to become a millionaire any time soon. This was always ok with me, and I didn&rs …
Kallah Classes
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2020-03-31 12:57:25
Dear Therapist: Thank you for the invaluable awareness that you raise in our community. I have been in therapy to address anxiety. After much therapeutic work, I have become aware that I had been provided with misinformation in kallah classes that had negative effects on the health of my marriage. Upon further research in the mental health field and extensive consultations with rabbanim, I learned that this is unfortunately prevalent in our commu …
I've Never Made a Decision
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2022-11-17 12:59:37
Dear Therapist: Over the last few years, I have begun to realize that much of what I have done in life I did because other people told me to. I feel like I have never really made my decisions in life. The schools I went to, the career I chose, and even my marriage are all things that I asked others for advice and followed it. As I have realized this, I have become more and more confused as to what I really want and have started doubting everythin …
Israel Anxiety
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-09-06 15:31:37
Dear Therapist: My son is scheduled to go to Eretz Yisroel to learn next year. He had a difficult high school experience but has grown tremendously over the last 2 years. The yeshiva in Eretz Yisroel is a great opportunity for him to keep growing. He is, however, extremely nervous about the whole security situation. As I write this, Haniyeh ym"s was just killed and things again look like they could escalate. It's always back a …
Is Therapy a Dating Red Flag?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2023-01-19 15:34:31
Dear Therapist: I am dating a girl who disclosed to me that she has been seeing a therapist for the last year. She seems like a good girl and she said the things she went to therapy for are not significant. She gave me permission to speak directly with her therapist and signed a form allowing me to do so. My question/concern is how reliable will the information I get from the therapist be? Can you give me some advice on what type of questions to …
Is the Social Work Profession For Me?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2017-10-18 11:17:10
Dear Therapist: Thank you for taking your time each week for this column. I have found it to be very enlightening and educational. I am 33 years old and not finding fulfillment in my current occupation. I am considering going back to school to obtain a degree in social work. I have always been interested in helping people and people seem to gravitate to me when they need help solving a problem. I am curious as to what type of person you think mak …
Is My Wife Milking Her Illness?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2021-11-18 10:48:05
Dear Therapist: My wife was diagnosed with a serious illness a few years ago. While she was sick of course the entire focus of myself, our friends, and our extended families was to give her room and support and help her in every way possible. All we wanted was for her to able to be completely taken care of so that the only thing she needed to be busy with was getting better. Meals, housekeeping, mother's helpers, and so much more were provi …
Is My Student Depressed?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2022-03-15 12:21:42
Dear Therapist: I am a teacher in a high school and am writing regarding a girl in one of my 11th grade classes. Some of the other staff think she should be sent for therapy because "she doesn't seem happy." She is a girl who is shy and introverted. I know her mother and she is also quite shy. She has friends but is quiet in big groups. She does well in groups of 2 or 3. She isn't very happy in school because learning is a st …
Is My Son Hook(ah)ed?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2019-12-26 13:30:10
Dear Therapist: Our 16 year old son is a good kid but not really cut out for learning and struggles in yeshiva. Because of this we try and give him some extra space and don’t pressure him too much. We allow him and his friends to hang out in our house, on the porch, in the basement, etc. because we figure it’s better that we keep an eye on him. Recently he and his friends have taken up smoking hookah. We aren’t thrilled abo …
Is My Husband COVID-Phobic?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2020-10-23 08:27:56
Dear Therapist: My husband has been taking COVID very seriously. Although he is young and has no health conditions, he basically isolated completely for the first few months of the pandemic. He spends a lot of time online "researching" the illness and spends a lot of time discussing and analyzing it. At the end of the summer, when we had gone so long without seeing any serious illness, he started relaxing a little and going out (with a mask). He …
Is My Daughter Ruining Her Sister's Marriage?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2018-09-07 09:51:58
Dear Therapist: My daughter has just left for a year of seminary in Eretz Yisroel. I am concerned about the amount of time she is spending in her just married, shana reshona, sister’s house. She has only been in Yerushalayim the last few weeks but, by all accounts, she is spending way too much time there. I know it's early but I want to deal with this before it becomes an issue. This doesn't seem to bother either of my daughters but I …