Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW Weekly Q&A As Published In Yated Ne'eman
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Showing Results 320 - 360 (373 total)
What is the Processing Process?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2023-11-22 15:56:52
Dear Therapist: I have a pretty basic question about therapy, and I am hoping you can answer it for me. I went through something difficult recently and a few people have told me I should go to therapy so that I could “process” it. I have heard that word from a couple of people and no one has really been able to tell me what exactly that means. What does it mean to “process” something? To talk about it? I have been talking …
Medication and Dating Revisited
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2023-11-22 16:00:44
Dear Therapist: As a teenager our son saw a therapist for a while due to some burnout/depression. Baruch Hashem with some adjustments to his yeshiva life and the help he received he is doing amazing and has been for a while. He is still on a low dose of medication which has worked well for him. When he tried going off, he relapsed and our consensus is that it's best for him to stay on it for now. Now that he is starting shidduchim he is very nerv …
Engagement Anxiety
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2023-11-22 16:02:50
Dear Therapist: My son is engaged and has become very panicky about if he made the right decision. Initially we figured it was nerves but it has persisted. He can't really point out any major concerns about the girl but he also is very worried about getting married. More like he feels something is "missing." He acknowledges that he is very anxious but says that he doesn't know if that's just fear or his intuition telling him there is something wr …
Can My Coach Be My Therapist?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2023-12-04 12:58:45
Dear Therapist: Thank you for taking the time to answer our questions in this weekly column. I have an issue I hope you can provide me guidance with. I have been working with a coach for a long time to help me with my personal growth and self-confidence issues. This has helped me become a better person and inspired me to open my own business which was quite successful. However, I recently lost my mother to a sudden illness and am having a hard ti …
Dating Someone with a Mental Health Diagnosis
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2023-12-04 13:07:53
Dear Therapist: My daughter was recently redt a shidduch to someone who has ADHD. I initially thought that since that is something that pertains mostly to school work etc. that it would not be so relevant to marriage. You hear stories about people with ADHD being really successful. However, people are telling me that this can actually be the source of serious marital problems if it is at a serious level and has not properly been address …
Therapy for Kids at Risk
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2023-12-25 14:29:10
Dear Therapist: Thank you for your weekly column. I am involved in a drop-in program that helps "kids at risk." I am wondering on your opinion on sending younger teenagers with behavior issues to therapy. We have sent them in the past - with limited results. I'm not sure if most of them are really ready for any type of serious therapy. Wouldn't our time and energy be best invested in getting them a mentor and offering other types of support? Some …
Trauma and Young Children
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2023-12-25 14:31:51
Dear Therapist: Hi, my two-year-old child was recently exposed to something very traumatic. At least it was something that would be very traumatic for an adult. I am uncomfortable going into all the details but it involved a serious injury to someone right in from of her, with a large medical response etc. I am wondering if a child that young can be "traumatized" and what would be the signs in a child so young that they needed help? What kind of …
Academia and Woke Ideology
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2023-12-25 14:33:31
Dear Therapist: The world of academia has recently come under a lot of scrutiny for its antisemitism. To those paying attention the so-called intellectuals in college campuses have become more and more antithetical to Torah values, but even more so to common sense! These ideas seem more prevalent in the social work and psychology fields. I can only imagine that these newfangled ideas seep into how mental health disorders are evaluated and treated …
Are My Headaches "Real?"
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-02-13 14:46:02
Dear Therapist: I have suffered from migraine headaches for a few years. I have tried a bunch of different types of treatments and have seen all sorts of doctors. Somethings have helped a little, some not at all, and some for a short time but it didn't last. I am wondering if there is some possible help to be had from psychology in this area? I have definitely heard of psychology for back pain, can it work for headaches also? Respons …
How Involved Should I Be in My Son's Marriage?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-02-13 14:48:46
Dear Therapist: My son recently got married and I am a bit concerned about how he is treating his wife. It's nothing major but I see his immaturity and lack of awareness about living and thinking about someone else. Most people advise me to stay out of it and let them grow up together. I'm not so sure about that. I am worried about the damage that could be done to their relationship if I just let it go. I would appreciate hearing your opinions as …
Support Group Or Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-02-13 14:50:52
Dear Therapist: Thank you so much for your weekly insights. I am looking for some help due to a loss in my family and I was offered a support group by a local organization. I am also considering a private therapist. Can you please explain the differences and benefits of one over the other? Do you have an opinion as to which is better in this situation? Response: I’m sorry that you lost someone close to you. Of course, it’ …
Is It Sympathy, Empathy, Or Secondary Trauma?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-02-13 14:53:11
Dear Therapist: As a teacher, I've noticed that some of my high school students seem to be experiencing the weight of their friends' struggles. There is a student in my tenth-grade class who is going through a very hard time. Her family situation at home isn't easy and she is showing signs of unhealthy eating habits. We are aware that this student is struggling, and we are working on finding ways to help her. Recently, I noticed that her best fri …
How To Lose Friends and Un-Influence People
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-02-13 14:58:06
Dear Therapist: I am 17 years old and in 12th grade, I have a friend that I have known since 2nd or 3rd grade and we're very close. But overtime I realized that I don't enjoy her presence as much and she is extremely clingy. She always sees everything negatively and overthinks everything, which makes it difficult to talk and confide in her. She constantly asks to sleepover and come hangout. Luckily, I have a job that ends late at n …
Anxiety, Stigma, and Therapy When I Don't Need It
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-02-13 15:00:40
Dear Therapist: I'm a 21-year-old girl currently in shidduchim. I occasionally face mild anxiety and believe that seeking therapy could be beneficial for addressing and managing it, or gaining helpful tips. Thankfully, I am currently managing well, but I sense that further improvement is possible through therapeutic work. However, during this phase of life, there is some societal resistance to the idea of seeking therapy—it's not widel …
Helping Someone Who Doesn't Want Help
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-02-13 15:02:22
Dear Therapist: I have a brother who is very anxious but comes across as very cool and like he has it all together. When I finally convinced him to go for therapy, the therapist questioned whether he really needed therapy and took an approach of “it doesn’t seem to be causing too much dysfunction in your life.” Those who know him know about the constant tension that he lives with and how much he is suffering. Yes, he is su …
Teletherapy or In-Person Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-02-22 09:24:13
Dear Therapist: What advantages and disadvantages come with receiving therapy in person versus using an online platform? If a therapist offers both options, which should I choose? I would assume that in person would be more effective but sometimes maybe it would be easier to share through a screen? Aside from convenience, are there any other factors that I should be taking into consideration when choosing a venue for psychotherapy? Respons …
Therapy? Never Again!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-02-22 09:26:59
Dear Therapist: I have a friend who has a very serious problem with her shalom bayis. Her husband started going to therapy to try to help the marriage. She has a very long list of complaints against her husband, but she admits that she also has faults and she's not innocent. When I asked her why she doesn't go to therapy she told me she can't even think of it. She had gone for a lot of therapy in her late teens/early twenties …
Should I Choose My Husband or My Parents?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-03-07 15:23:08
Dear Therapist: My husband has a very difficult time getting along with my parents. I am not sure what the source of this is but it's been like that for a while. My husband is a great father and wonderful husband and man, and my parents are wonderful too. We all have our quirks and somehow my husband and parents just grate on each other the wrong way. We have somehow managed this over the first 5 years of our marriage but it seems to be get …
Decisions...Decisions...Decisions?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-03-07 15:28:53
Dear Therapist: My son has always had a hard time making decisions. Even when it comes to making small choices, like what to order in a restaurant, it's a whole esek. He really never had to make too many serious choices in his life, he went to the same yeshiva straight through and to Eretz Yisroel together with his friends. Same with camp, there wasn't much choice. I am worried as he gets ready for shidduchim that he will have a rough …
Therapy? Very Funny!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-03-14 13:41:52
Dear Therapist: Thank you so much for your weekly column. I enjoy hearing your different perspectives. I was wondering if lekavod Purim you could share your thoughts on humor and mental health. Does a good sense of humor help people in dealing with difficulties? How does this work? Is this something that can be developed or do you either have it or not? Additionally, I think for most of us we imagine therapy as a serious somber thing, i …
What, Me Intellectualize? Well, Come to Think of it...
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-03-14 13:46:39
Dear Therapist: I have been wondering about a friend who is very smart but is still struggles with motivation. He has been confiding in me recently but I think that he is very focused on philosophical reasons for his unhappiness, like the purpose of life, but doesn't pay enough attention to his emotions. It's hard to tell really but I am wondering if you could give me some pointers in how to steer him for the proper help. Thanks. Response: …
Medication or Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-03-14 13:48:24
Dear Therapist: I have a specific fear that I have a hard time with but it isn't something that I really have to face very frequently. Let's say it's flying. It's not something I do very often but when I need to it's really hard. I was prescribed a medication I can take from my doctor and I can use it before flying and I feel ok. Is this a good enough way to deal with it or would it be better to invest in therapy to get rid of the fear? Would the …
Do You Know Who You Are?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-05-08 09:31:57
Dear Therapist: I was recently asked by a shadchan to write a detailed description of myself and I was surprised at how stuck I got. It was very hard for me to write about what's important to me, what my personality is like, and what I truly value, in a way that is anything other than cliche. I started thinking that there is something wrong with me that I can't do this. I think part of this is because there is a big difference between w …
Why Do We Need Things?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-05-08 09:34:56
Dear Therapist: I have been pushing off writing this, which maybe is part of the problem, but I feel like at this point I really need to. A few years ago, my husband was making a very nice living which caused us to raise our standards of living significantly. Now unfortunately, like I imagine many others are, we are feeling the crunch of the economy. Baruch Hashem, we have what we need but we can no longer afford to spend like we used to. We …
The Doctor Will NOT See You Now
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-05-08 09:41:00
Dear Therapist: My spouse has the interesting issue where he just refuses to go to the doctor for a well checkup. He is pushing 45 and probably hasn't been by a doctor in 15 years. When he is sick etc. he will go to an urgent care or a PA and take care of it, but that is pretty much it. He claims he is healthy and doctors just find issues. He seems ok but at this point I wonder if he is just nervous and so he is avoiding it. Do you have any sugge …
How to Lose Friends and Discourage People
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-05-08 09:50:24
Dear Therapist: I am a parent of a 9th grade girl in a large mainstream high school. She is trying to find her footing in a long lasting friendship and is starting to get to know a few girls. But because she is a very friendly girl, she is nice to the girls who aren't as socially gifted. The problem with this is when her friendliness gets in the way of spreading her wings, since these girls cling to her in an unhealthy way. While she doesn't …
Diagnosis and Labelling
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-05-20 14:23:36
Dear Therapist: Can you please share your thoughts on the phenomenon that I am noticing (not common baruch Hashem, but it happens) where people disparage others by "diagnosing" them with a mental illness. Thus, people who are rigid are called "OCD," those who are a bit different are "apspergy" and those who are jumpier are "ADD." More disturbing to me is that I have noticed the word "narcissist" being thrown around quiet casually. Unfortunat …
Anxiety and Faith
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-05-23 16:17:28
Dear Therapist: My daughter is in seminary this year and it's the first time she's dormed a full year with other girls. She mentioned to me that one of her roommates seems very socially anxious & has a hard time making friends & being sociable. My daughter tries to include her but she often withdraws because of her social anxiety. She suggested to this girl that she speak to someone about her struggles & she keeps responding that she …
Bad Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-06-26 10:02:51
Dear Therapist: I have heard my friends discussing an idea developed by an author concerning "bad therapy." I presume that means there is bad therapy and good therapy. Would appreciate if the panel would state their opinions on the difference between helpful and unhelpful therapy. What is the best way for someone who is considering therapy to tell the difference? Response: I haven’t read Abigail Shrier’s book, but I …
Aliyah-phobia
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-06-26 10:06:58
Dear Therapist: I have a silly fear of getting an aliyah. I have actually heard others that have it as well. This is even though I actually don't have an issue with doing other things in public. In the past I have managed to "white knuckle" it when I needed to but recently, I have found myself slipping out of shul during laining to try and avoid it. I do well otherwise and have no traumas or anything like that in my life. I am wond …
Delayed Traumatic Reaction
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-06-26 10:14:30
Dear Therapist: I really appreciate your weekly column. What happens if a someone goes through trauma at home and doesn't take care of it—meaning, go for help. If they're fine, could they stay fine? I am worried because many people say it comes back in later years. Thank you! Response: The simple answer is yes; someone who experiences a “trauma” can be fine. However, this depends on a number of factors. Th …
Inappropriate Touching and Safety
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-06-26 10:17:35
Dear Therapist: As we begin the season can you please share your general recommendations as to how parents should talk to their children about safety in the summer. Many parents (hopefully) know the basics, but I wonder if, based on your experiences, there are ways to discuss things that people don't know. Or maybe there are some things that people don't realize they should talk about with their kids. I think this would be a public service …
Do I Have Psychosis?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-07-11 12:15:35
Dear Therapist: I have a friend at work that was acting strangely and my coworkers are saying he "snapped." I am not sure what this means. Someone said this means he has psychosis. What is the meaning of psychosis? Is this something that can happen suddenly to someone without warning? I myself have gone to therapy in the past for anxiety and baruch Hashem I am doing very well but I am worried about something like this happening to me. I …
Tragedy and Children
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-07-11 12:19:19
Dear Therapist: Recently there have been few shocking tragedies in my area. Each one has been very sudden, unexpected, and jarring in its own way. This is on top of the overall tzaros that have been happening in Eretz Yisroel since Succos. I find that for the last few weeks I am constantly on edge. Of course, I have been taking hisorerus from rabbonim and I try to be mechazek myself as much a …
I Don't Get No (Self) Respect!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-07-11 12:23:48
Dear Therapist: I recently realized that I am never happy with myself. I used to think that if I learned well, did a good shidduch, was top of my class, and was successful, then I would finally feel worthwhile. I was recently complaining to a friend and he pointed out to me that objectively things are really good right now and if I feel so bad all the time, I should probably get help. It was a bit jarring to me honestly. I am starting …
Major Decisions...No Problem; Minor Ones...Well...
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-09-06 15:28:21
Dear Therapist: I have some trouble making decisions. I am not really talking about big decisions like getting married or what yeshiva to send my kids to. I actually do ok with that. It is the smaller things like where to go for Shabbos and what suit to buy and things like that which take up way too much time in my life and occupy my thoughts too much. I just go back and forth and back and forth, and it can be almost comical. It can wind up being …
Israel Anxiety
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-09-06 15:31:37
Dear Therapist: My son is scheduled to go to Eretz Yisroel to learn next year. He had a difficult high school experience but has grown tremendously over the last 2 years. The yeshiva in Eretz Yisroel is a great opportunity for him to keep growing. He is, however, extremely nervous about the whole security situation. As I write this, Haniyeh ym"s was just killed and things again look like they could escalate. It's always back a …
Homesickness
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-09-06 15:34:31
Dear Therapist: My 7th grade daughter is in sleepaway camp for the first time and is very homesick. Do you think it is better to try and talk to her by phone every day and send her packages etc.? Or is it better to just leave it and let her figure it out. Does calling her more than once a week actually make it worse or is this a good way to support her? What other recommendations would you have for dealing with homesickness? Thank you for yo …
My Brother Needs Premarital Counseling
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-09-06 15:37:14
Dear Therapist: My brother has never really been that socially savvy. He has no official diagnosis as far as I know of but he has struggled in the past socially a bit. He recently got engaged and I am a bit nervous about how he will do in marriage. What would be the best way to prevent any issues and deal with them before they become a real problem? Is there any type of premarriage counseling or guidance that you recommend? Even a book that you t …
What is Career Counseling?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-09-06 15:39:47
Dear Therapist: I am 27 years old and have been having a hard time choosing a job and career. I tried some jobs but found them boring because I really wasn't given anything to do. I also can't tell if I just haven't found the right job for me or I just didn't really get good opportunities. How can I figure out what I would be most interested in and what I would be best at? What is best approach to this? Is there a test or evaluation that yo …
My Daughter Wants to Ditch Her Friend
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-09-06 15:42:42
Dear Therapist: My 14-year-old daughter is a kind soul. She is always nice to everyone and has many friends. She approached my husband and me recently and said she realizes that there is a friend of hers who is not a good influence on her and she doesn't think she should be spending time with her. I think her concerns are valid. She asked us for guidance about how to go about distancing herself from the relationship. Our daughter is not really th …
Marriage Intrusion?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-11-25 13:17:32
Dear Therapist: I am worried that my daughter who just went to seminary is spending way too much time at her newly married sister's home. I think she is missing out on the full experience and the chance to make new friends. I am more concerned that it isn't good for my shana rishona couple to have someone in the house all the time. Both my daughters say that I am over reacting and it's not a big deal. I would appreciate your opinion and …
My Son is Being Left Back!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-11-25 13:20:30
Dear Therapist: It is becoming clear that we are going to need to have our son who is now in 3rd grade go back to 2nd grade after Succos. He is too far behind and we can't provide the support that is necessary to help him maintain grade level. I am not sure how to break this news to him and how to help him so that this will not scar him emotionally or socially. Please advise us how to do this in the most painless way possible. Thank you …
Dating Rejection Trauma
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-11-25 13:21:53
Dear Therapist: Around a year ago my son was far along in a shidduch and at a late stage the girl said no. He was devastated at the time which we thought was normal. But it is now a while later and his dating has really suffered from it. He is constantly procrastinating when shidduchim are redt to him and he is an anxious mess when he dates. After every date he agonizes about his decision and, in my opinion, has said no to some very nic …
My Angry, Abusive Brother
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-11-25 13:24:11
Dear Therapist: I have a middle-aged younger brother who lives a depressed, resentful, lonely, unemployed life. My mother, an almanna, has a heart of gold and would do anything to help him. Yet, he gets extremely angry at her when they speak on the phone, and expresses deep resentment to her, which is similar to how he connected with our father a"h. He thinks she favors me over him, among other gripes. On the rare occasion that he visi …
Breaking News: Parents Embarrass Their Teenage Kids!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-11-25 13:26:41
Dear Therapist: I'm curious to hear what the panelists have to say about the following: What is the correct approach that a parent should take when a child expresses their embarrassment about their parents, their parents clothing, cars, house etc.... For example, my teenagers will say, "What you’re wearing is so outdated," "Our house is so messy," "Ma, you can't wear this," "Please pick me up from school in our nicer car …
Obsessive Praying
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-11-25 13:28:09
Dear Therapist: I have been struggling for many years with my davening. Many times, I feel that if I only put enough emotion and feeling into my davening, I can get the results that I want. The problem is that forcing myself backfires. It's hard to concentrate on the meaning of the words when trying to create feelings. In my case, I wind up worrying all day about my relationship with Hashem, if I am a good person, and if I am a proper maamin …
Overspending Husband
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-11-25 13:29:54
Dear Therapist: My husband and I have a wonderful marriage baruch Hashem. We share the same goals and are overall very much on the same page. One area where we keep having arguments is regarding finances. I am much more of a saver and a planner and he has an attitude of "we will figure it out." This is the kind of thing that keeps coming up again and again in our marriage and we just don't seem to have a path that works things out. …
Tantrums! Aarrgghh!!!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-11-25 13:35:07
Dear Therapist: My 7-year-old daughter seems to have an unusual temper. I understand it's normal for a kid that age to have tantrums but this is something else. She seems to have actual rage. It is also kind of hard to predict what sets her off. Sometimes she goes to school without a fuss and sometimes she will insist she isn't going and it turns into a huge fight. The "switch" seems to turn off as quickly and unpredictably. What works with …
Teen Overspending
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-11-25 13:36:32
Dear Therapist: We brought up our children simply and we tried to keep them pretty sheltered. Baruch Hashem many are married and have turned out well. One of our teenage boys has decided he was deprived and has now gone completely the opposite way where he says he needs everything he didn't have. Clothes, scooters, electronics, nothing bad per se, but definitely not how he was raised. We have been discussing with his rabbeim where to dr …
Self-Esteem Revisited Again
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-11-28 11:19:46
Dear Therapist: I enjoy your weekly responses and I think that it has provided me with a lot of insight into my own life. My question is: How would you define self-esteem? Is it the same thing as self-confidence? Is it something that someone can build on their own or must they be born and raised with? I understand that everyone might have a slightly different definition but I think I would appreciate hearing all of your perspectives on this. Than …
Should I Seek Therapy Simply for Accountability?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-11-28 11:22:11
Dear Therapist: Is there a benefit to using therapy just for accountability? I pretty much know what I need to do but I push things off a bit and I find that it helps for me to have someone that I check in with weekly to keep me on my game. I have done therapy in the past for deeper issues but I feel like at this point it's more about taking action. I am considering resuming therapy but mostly just for the goal of being accountable to someone. Pu …
Will My Next Therapist Be an AI Model?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
2024-12-18 12:12:00
Dear Therapist: I have heard that people are developing AI therapy and that it could be just as effective as in person therapy. Setting aside for the moment the issues that come along with use of technology, I am wondering if you think this is, or can be, and effective method of therapy? Response: Your question can be understood from a global perspective or with regard to specific needs for specific people within the context of a therapeut …