Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW Weekly Q&A As Published In Yated Ne'eman
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Showing Results 0 - 40 (385 total)
Passive-Aggressive Mother
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
September 7th, 2018
Dear Therapist: I have always had a difficult relationship with my mother. I always blamed myself. As I get older, with the help of some friends, I can realize some of the issues. It is impossible to have a normal conversation with her. It’s like she won’t say straightforward what she means, and nothing gets resolved. For example, I can tell she is angry and something I did upset her, but she denies it but then seems to ignore me for …
Is My Daughter Ruining Her Sister's Marriage?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
September 7th, 2018
Dear Therapist: My daughter has just left for a year of seminary in Eretz Yisroel. I am concerned about the amount of time she is spending in her just married, shana reshona, sister’s house. She has only been in Yerushalayim the last few weeks but, by all accounts, she is spending way too much time there. I know it's early but I want to deal with this before it becomes an issue. This doesn't seem to bother either of my daughters but I …
My Daughter Wants to Ditch Her Friend
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
September 6th, 2024
Dear Therapist: My 14-year-old daughter is a kind soul. She is always nice to everyone and has many friends. She approached my husband and me recently and said she realizes that there is a friend of hers who is not a good influence on her and she doesn't think she should be spending time with her. I think her concerns are valid. She asked us for guidance about how to go about distancing herself from the relationship. Our daughter is not really th …
What is Career Counseling?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
September 6th, 2024
Dear Therapist: I am 27 years old and have been having a hard time choosing a job and career. I tried some jobs but found them boring because I really wasn't given anything to do. I also can't tell if I just haven't found the right job for me or I just didn't really get good opportunities. How can I figure out what I would be most interested in and what I would be best at? What is best approach to this? Is there a test or evaluation that yo …
My Brother Needs Premarital Counseling
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
September 6th, 2024
Dear Therapist: My brother has never really been that socially savvy. He has no official diagnosis as far as I know of but he has struggled in the past socially a bit. He recently got engaged and I am a bit nervous about how he will do in marriage. What would be the best way to prevent any issues and deal with them before they become a real problem? Is there any type of premarriage counseling or guidance that you recommend? Even a book that you t …
Homesickness
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
September 6th, 2024
Dear Therapist: My 7th grade daughter is in sleepaway camp for the first time and is very homesick. Do you think it is better to try and talk to her by phone every day and send her packages etc.? Or is it better to just leave it and let her figure it out. Does calling her more than once a week actually make it worse or is this a good way to support her? What other recommendations would you have for dealing with homesickness? Thank you for yo …
Israel Anxiety
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
September 6th, 2024
Dear Therapist: My son is scheduled to go to Eretz Yisroel to learn next year. He had a difficult high school experience but has grown tremendously over the last 2 years. The yeshiva in Eretz Yisroel is a great opportunity for him to keep growing. He is, however, extremely nervous about the whole security situation. As I write this, Haniyeh ym"s was just killed and things again look like they could escalate. It's always back a …
Major Decisions...No Problem; Minor Ones...Well...
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
September 6th, 2024
Dear Therapist: I have some trouble making decisions. I am not really talking about big decisions like getting married or what yeshiva to send my kids to. I actually do ok with that. It is the smaller things like where to go for Shabbos and what suit to buy and things like that which take up way too much time in my life and occupy my thoughts too much. I just go back and forth and back and forth, and it can be almost comical. It can wind up being …
Balancing Differing Needs in a Family System
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
September 6th, 2017
Dear Therapist: Our 19-year-old son is sadly no longer shomer torah umitzvos. This is a tremendous source of pain and turmoil for the entire family. My wife and I are trying very hard to do what is best for him in accordance with the guidance we are receiving from Rabbonim and professionals. With lots of thought and hard work, we are slowly working on repairing our relationship with our son. Our question is regarding our other children. While the …
Peer Pressure and Self-Esteem
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
September 28th, 2017
Dear Therapist: Can you please give me some good guidelines on how to deal with peer pressure? I am very affected by what the people around me are doing. I don't know if it's that I'm afraid of people getting angry with me or I need to be the center of attention. I think that that is my most difficult challenge and if I could just not be afraid to be different I would be a much better person. Response: Most often, issues with peer pr …
Autism Effects on a Family
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
September 26th, 2019
Dear Therapist: Our 7-year-old son has always been challenging. He is a challenge behaviorally and has a difficult time getting along with his siblings and his friends. On the advice of our pediatrician, we had him evaluated and we got a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder. Now we have a name to the problem and are working on figuring out our best approach for treatment. As we are approaching yom tov and will be spending it together with famil …
Wrong Therapist?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
September 26th, 2019
Dear Therapist: We recently acceded to our daughter’s request to begin seeing a psychologist weekly. This is related to some eating disorder and body image issues. Without going into the specifics we were given a bad recommendation by a friend as to which psychologist to send to. This psychologist clearly did not share our values and we believed she would not be appropriate for our impressionable teenage daughter. So we switched her to a d …
My Wife's Depression
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
September 26th, 2019
Dear Therapist: My wife suffers from major depressive disorder and has for many years. Most of the time it is kept under control with medication but every so often will flare up into a severe depression. She has currently been suffering from a depressive bout for the past month and a half. She is working with a psychiatrist and therapist to get better. Part of her depression is that she doesn't want to do anything but sit at home all day. Sittin …
The Inflexible Child
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
September 26th, 2019
Dear Therapist: My 10-year-old son is smart and personable. He does great in school both academically and socially and is an all-around great kid. He is emotionally pretty mature for his age and can be pretty independent and self-reliant. He is, however, often very inflexible. He has a few foods that he likes and that's it. A few shirts and that's it. Same with general schedule and routine (i.e. he has a rough time moving out of his room f …
Fear of Marriage
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
September 26th, 2019
Dear Therapist: This might seem like a shidduch question, but I'm posing it here, as it dips into the mental health arena. In my experience with singles seeking to remarry, a barrier that presents itself repeatedly is fear. Many have had personal experiences of heartache and betrayal; they have experienced the pain of relationships falling apart. These experiences are a perfect breeding ground for fear to take hold, and possibly fester into a di …
Why is Camp Scaring My Child?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
September 26th, 2019
Dear Therapist: What is it with camps scaring the wits out of kids. How come all the scary plays, Holocaust stories, and color war breakouts. Granted my kids are a bit sensitive but do I need to have them come home from day camp all terrorized? Are these things appropriate? Are my kids just wimps? Can these types of things negatively impact kids? Response: …
Bad Business
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
September 26th, 2019
Dear Therapists, My husband keeps on making bad investments and losing money. He borrows money to try and invest and now he has lost other people’s money. He is totally out of touch with reality vis-à-vis his business ability, complete oyalam hadimyon, but it doesn’t "pas" for him to work for someone else or get a regular job. I am at my wits’ end. Please suggest how to talk some sense into him. Response: I’m …
Everyone Thinks I should be Married...Aside from Me!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
September 21st, 2018
Dear Therapist: I am an older year old single bochur who is learning in yeshiva. I have been told I am picky, unable to make a commitment, lazy, unambitious and many other diagnoses and labels. Many people have suggested that I “speak to someone” (meaning a therapist) in order to resolve the major issues I must have if I am not married at the old age of 28. I think I have just not yet met the right person. Thoughts? Response: Y …
Anxiety Or Concern...Which Is It?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
September 19th, 2017
Dear Therapist: I have struggled with anxiety all my life. I spent a few years in therapy and BH have it under control to the point where is doesn't severely impact my life like it used to. My question is it ever appropriate for me to be anxious or should I always be working on trying to remain calm. I hear people say that some anxiety is good but I wonder if that applies to someone like me. Even regarding the Yemei Hadin I wonder if the yirah th …
My Husband's Secret Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
September 13th, 2017
Dear Therapist: My husband recently revealed to me that he has been going to therapy for the last 6 months. I had no idea that he was going or that anything was wrong. I thought we BH had a good marriage and were doing well raising our family. When I asked him why he is going he says there are certain things he wanted to discuss with someone but refuses to tell me what they are. He won't even tell me the name of the person he is seeing. I am comp …
Grief and Dating
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
September 12th, 2023
Dear Therapist: I am a teacher who has stepped in to offer support to a former student of mine who has recently lost her father. She is currently of shidduchim age and the family is anxious for her to begin dating. They feel that she should "move forward" and have been exerting significant pressure on her to begin. I was wondering if you can give me some guidelines as to when that would be considered healthy. I imagine it isn't just a time thing …
Keep Up With the Joneses?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
September 12th, 2023
Dear Therapist: I live in a neighborhood/community where there is a big emphasis on money. It is a young neighborhood where people are just starting work, and some are making serious money and throwing it around. So there has recently become this pressure to “keep up with the Joneses.” I have a salaried job and al pi derech hateva I am not going to become a millionaire any time soon. This was always ok with me, and I didn&rs …
Father-Son Relationship
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
September 12th, 2023
Dear Therapist: I am not much of a letter writing type of guy, but I will give it a shot. I have been hearing from my wife, and now from my son’s rebbe that I need to work more on developing a better relationship with my teenage son. It isn’t that we have a relationship, it’s that we just don’t seem to connect. I know I am not the most expressive person in the world and though that doesn’t seem to be a problem with m …
I'm Being Bullied on the Bus
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
October 25th, 2018
Dear Therapist: I am an 8-year-old boy. There is an older boy who beats me up and bothers me every day on the bus. He is bigger than me and if I ignore him he just acts worse. There is nothing the Yeshiva can do because there is no teacher on the bus. I really worry about it a lot and I don't like going to school anymore (although it is true that I really like it once I get there). My parents said I can write to you to ask you for advice. …
Marriage and Siblings
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
October 25th, 2018
Dear Therapist: My younger sister (20 years old) got married last year. Although I am happy that she doesn’t have to deal with shidduchim any more, I am struggling with my own emotions about it. My sister was in seminary and already decided she was going to date when she came home. She “asked me” permission to date when I came to visit her that year—but only because my father told her she should. Then, when she came home s …
Night Terrors
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
October 25th, 2018
Dear Therapist: My very bright, mature, lovable, happy 5-year-old son has begun to experience what I have been told is called "night terror". He is a very happy child during the day, definitely with a more intense personality, but very healthy and well-adjusted and extremely bright. At night, he will wake up in terror, screaming, cowering in the corner, looking at me or my husband with terror, eyes opened wide, with real fear...and then a few min …
Teacher Abuse Revisited
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
October 25th, 2017
Dear Therapist: When I was a young boy in high school I was treated horribly by an English teacher. For whatever reason he would pick on me constantly, always pointing out when I didn't know something (I was not a good student so this was pretty often). He would embarrass me in front of the entire class and called me a "shoyta". It was a very bad tekufa in my life but I survived. Fast forward 20 years and I BH have a wonderful family with childre …
Affordable Quality Orthodox Therapists--Myth or Reality?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
October 23rd, 2020
Dear Therapist: I have a question which I hope you can help me with: I'm looking for a new therapist, one that is in-network and takes my insurance. I'm doing a ton of research, calling up therapists, clinics etc...but I keep bumping into the money issue. I just hung up with yet another therapist that didn't work out, and I'm honestly feeling helpless, hopeless and demoralized. Is this how the system is g …
Is My Husband COVID-Phobic?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
October 23rd, 2020
Dear Therapist: My husband has been taking COVID very seriously. Although he is young and has no health conditions, he basically isolated completely for the first few months of the pandemic. He spends a lot of time online "researching" the illness and spends a lot of time discussing and analyzing it. At the end of the summer, when we had gone so long without seeing any serious illness, he started relaxing a little and going out (with a mask). He …
Headaches--Physical or Psychological?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
October 23rd, 2020
Dear Therapist: I am writing to ask for some clarification as to the extent that stress or other psychological issues can cause physical problems. Basically, I have not been feeling well for a while, mostly with very bad headaches. I have been to a doctor and a specialist who both are saying that there is nothing they can see that is wrong and it must be that I am stressed out. They suggested I go to counseling which I am looking into. I guess my …
Classroom Orphans
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
October 23rd, 2020
Dear Therapist: As a 3rd grade rebbe sometimes I have children in my class who have lost a parent r’l. I wonder if in such cases I should avoid using the word totty or mommy during class to avoid hurting the child. Is this something that is helpful or perhaps avoiding it is just something that is not realistic and unfortunately it is something they will live with all their lives? Response: Your sensitivity to oth …
Who is a Narcissist?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
October 23rd, 2020
Dear Therapist: I find the letters and responses to the Couch very informative. Would it be possible for the panelists to share advice on how to detect narcissistic behaviors? I had an awful experience with a narcissistic individual and tried so hard to make it work. However, if I would have been aware of the classic signs of narcissists, I would have realized early on that it would not work. Narcissists are very charismatic people that are …
Psychiatric Dating
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
October 23rd, 2020
Dear Therapist: My son has struggled with a kind of constant but not so severe depression for a while. He has a lot of trouble moving forward, being productive, and is often just down. He is at the age where he should be starting shidduchim and many of his friends are dating. He has been working with a therapist and had been getting better but recently is not doing as well. His therapist has suggested that he see a psychiatrist to possi …
Do I Need a Therapist or a Coach?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
October 23rd, 2020
Dear Therapist: I am considering hiring a therapist for work purposes. I bh don't feel the need for therapy in my personal life but someone suggested seeing a therapist to help me/coach me in my management position. Basically, even if I am doing well can this help me perform even better? Perhaps it would be a good idea for our bottom line if we hired someone for the company to motivate employees and help manage workplace issues. What ca …
Summer to School COVID Transition
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
October 23rd, 2020
Dear Therapist: As the school year hopefully begins, I am somewhat concerned about my elementary school children who have not been on a regular structure/schedule since Purim. I wonder if there is any advice you can give us on how to manage the transition back to normalcy? Or maybe it's nothing and the kids will bounce right back into it? Also, are there any signs we should look out for that would indicate an issue? Response: I&r …
Is the Social Work Profession For Me?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
October 18th, 2017
Dear Therapist: Thank you for taking your time each week for this column. I have found it to be very enlightening and educational. I am 33 years old and not finding fulfillment in my current occupation. I am considering going back to school to obtain a degree in social work. I have always been interested in helping people and people seem to gravitate to me when they need help solving a problem. I am curious as to what type of person you think mak …
Children and Israeli Terror
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
October 12th, 2023
Dear Therapist: Could you please share advice on dealing with younger children who are struggling with the news from Eretz Yisroel. Of course, we are preventing them from seeing any images, but they have inevitably heard some of the horrible details, particularly about kidnapped children r'l. Any advice you can have to help them deal with this terrible situation more effectively would be helpful. Response: I think that I speak f …
My Unstable Parents
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 9th, 2018
Dear Therapist: My parents are very controlling, critical, self-centered and emotionally unstable (they may possibly have personality disorders). One of my sisters recently started disconnecting by minimizing her interactions with my parents. My parents are very hurt and angry and are trying many tactics to change my sister's behaviors (which includes badmouthing her to rabbanim). I come from a large family and all of the children are married. We …
Marital Communication
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 9th, 2018
Dear Therapist: I have been married for almost a year. Overall things are good. The problem is that whenever my husband and I have a disagreement he will completely shut down. For example, I didn't appreciate that he came home really late the other night and I told him so but instead of discussing it he got all offended and basically avoided me for 2 days. I get the impression that he thinks that I am never allowed to be upset at him or justified …
Somatic Symptom Disorder
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 8th, 2017
Dear Therapist: Our teenage son has always been a bit of a complicated personality but he does well socially and academically. Recently we have noticed a trend where he keeps on asking to go to the doctor because of different things that are bothering him physically. My husband and I recently calculated that he has had 6 separate issues in the last year or so. Only once was there actually something wrong (strep); the other times the doctor …