Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW Weekly Q&A As Published In Yated Ne'eman
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Showing Results 80 - 120 (385 total)
Stress and Insomnia
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 18th, 2021
Dear Therapist: I am 43 years old and consider myself a healthy person Baruch HaShem. Recently I began having trouble sleeping. Sometimes falling asleep, but also waking up in middle of the night and not being able to fall back asleep. My doctor said there is nothing wrong with me physically and it is stress related. We have indeed been having some difficulty with our teenage daughter recently. At this point I am winding up tired throughout the d …
Adult ADHD
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 18th, 2021
Dear Therapist: My primary care physician recently told my husband that he thinks he has ADHD. My husband never had that diagnosis as a child, though I am not sure that means anything because he had a lot of different issues going on as a kid and that may have slipped through the cracks. Baruch Hashem he is doing fine now but has had trouble staying on track, specifically in work related areas. The doctor would like to prescribe him medication, b …
Single-Area vs. Multiple-Area Issues
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2022
Dear Therapist: I am writing in regard to some of the questions that have come up in the column recently as to when there is an indication of a mental health issue for a bochur or child. I once heard that a good measure of evaluation is if the problem is happening across the board at home, school and camp that would be a sign that professional intervention is needed. If the child is fine at home and elsewhere and only having a problem in yes …
Does Our Marriage Counselor Care?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2022
Dear Therapist: My spouse and I went for marriage counseling for a while for some issues with someone who seemed to be a very competent therapist. The therapist seemed to understand how to breakdown the issues and attempt to work on resolutions. However, some things didn't seem to be adding up right. For example, the therapist left off a few sessions at some very crucial points, leaving us feeling very vulnerable and with a lot of raw emotions ex …
Adults with ADHD
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2022
Dear Therapist: Is it possible for someone who never had ADHD to get it for the first time as an adult? I have recently started having trouble just staying focused on work as well as paying attention during shuirim and concentrating in davening. I have never had this issue before and was an excellent student all through yeshiva. My chavrusah actually recently made an offhand comment about how "ADD" I am and it really got …
Death and Betrayal
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2022
Dear Therapist: There was someone close to my family who died last year. She was someone I was close with and trusted and did something that hurt me terribly. This is not the forum to go into details, but this was a tremendous avlah and I don’t think anyone would disagree. Since this happened shortly before she was niftar and I didn’t really have the full understanding of what she did until after she was already go …
When an Educator Should Refer to Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2022
Dear Therapist: I would like to thank you for this insightful column that so many gain from weekly. As a mesivta rebbe I occasionally need to send a bochur to therapy when I feel that his struggles may be mental health related and baruch Hashem I have generally had good experiences. There is a question that comes up that I would like to hear your opinion on. When are a bochur’s struggles or lack of motivation in le …
Work on Anxiety or Go to Israel?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2022
Dear Therapist: Our son recently acknowledged that he has been experiencing extreme anxiety over the last 6-8 months. This has been something that his menahel had been concerned about and mentioned to him, but he denied anything was wrong. I think that finally it got so bad that he couldn’t push it away anymore and he is coming to us for help. The issue is he is supposed to go to learn in Eretz Yisroel next zman along wi …
Are Millenials Suppressing Their Emotions?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2022
Dear Therapist: There are many emotions that come up this time of year. There are some like simcha, gratitude, and devekus that are wonderful to experience. I see from my children who are “millennials” that they are fine with that. However, they seem to be rejecting or suppressing some of the more uncomfortable emotions that can come up like anxiety, guilt, and regret. It got me thinking about how psychologically speaking ar …
Premarital Counseling
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2022
Dear Therapist: Our son recently got engaged B"H. He doing very well but is one of those kids who "took the scenic route." He had struggles with yiddishkeit and in yeshiva over the years. He told us that his rebbi recommended that he and his kallah go to a marriage therapist while they are engaged to work on their relationship. This frightened my husband and me. If they are already having issues maybe this isn't the right match? We were …
Somatic Anxiety
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2022
Dear Therapist: Our 10-year-old daughter has been complaining of headaches and stomachaches. This seems to happen whenever something is going on in her life, particularly when there are changes such as school starting, camp, and around yom tov time when there is a change in schedule. We discussed it with her pediatrician who said there is nothing medical going on. She suggested that we begin by having a conversation with her about what it m …
Bad Therapist
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2022
Dear Therapist: We recently went through a terrible experience with a licensed therapist that a family member used. It was not a subjective mismatch; the clinician lacked professionalism and training, and other professionals and rabbanim involved in the situation were distraught to hear about the techniques he used and the ensuing damage it created. We have switched clinicians and are now going through the process of undoing and re-learning, but …
The Placebo Effect
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2022
Dear Therapist: My 30-year-old daughter had suffered from anxiety for a long time. After a course of psychotherapy was not successful, she began seeing a psychiatrist and started taking an anti-depressant (which is also supposed to help for anxiety). This was very life enhancing for her and she has really thrived since then. Recently she says that new research has shown that antidepressants really don’t work, and it is all a “placebo& …
Faith and Depression
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2022
Dear Therapist: I was living a happy and fulfilling life as a busy wife and mom when out of nowhere darkness descended. I was diagnosed with clinical depression requiring medication. I’m in the midst of professional treatment and still struggling each day. My normally happy and meaningful avodas Hashem came to a sudden halt leaving me lost and confused.
My question is what is one afflicted with mental illness to do? The very to …
I've Never Made a Decision
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2022
Dear Therapist: Over the last few years, I have begun to realize that much of what I have done in life I did because other people told me to. I feel like I have never really made my decisions in life. The schools I went to, the career I chose, and even my marriage are all things that I asked others for advice and followed it. As I have realized this, I have become more and more confused as to what I really want and have started doubting everythin …
Adult Identity Confusion
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2022
Dear Therapist: I am in my 30s, and BH I'm a busy mother. However, I constantly have dreams that I am in high school. The dreams are not at all disturbing, they are just filled with the day-to-day life of a high schooler (tests, lessons, etc.). This is very puzzling to me, as I am double the age I was then, and I'm at a completely different stage of life. Additionally, I always feel that I am "faking it" being an adult, and I feel overwhelmed by …
Generational Resilience
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2022
Dear Therapist: I'm in my low thirties and my oldest children are now in their early teens. Due to increased awareness and education, my friends and I focus on parenting with more positivity, empathy, validation, communication, and emotional awareness than the previous generation. Our parents expected more from us than we expect from our children, and we usually had to do what was right even if we didn't feel like it. Recently, I'm noticing a dis …
Therapist Advice and Fallibility
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2022
Dear Therapist: Here is a question I've been troubled by for a while. Many times, people will send their kid or spouse to therapy, but the kid or spouse is somewhat in denial or confused. They may see reality in a twisted way or be somewhat lying to themself or only see their side of the picture due to their emotional/mental health issue. When they sit and talk to the therapist, they are only giving over that twisted picture o …
Telling Someone They Need Help
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2022
Dear Therapist: I am a bocher who has a lot of friends in shidduchim and one of my best friends is about to start. Now this friend went through a very rough childhood and his father was very abusive physically, emotionally, and spiritually. His parents never really got along and they went to family therapy. Now from what I see that wasn't enough and I think there is a lot more he needs to work on before ent …
Camp or Therapy?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2022
Dear Therapist: Our 12-year-old was referred to therapy by her school for some behavioral and social issues. Nothing too severe but the school thought it would be beneficial for her to gain some skills before going into next year. After a while we finally got into the therapist we were suggested but now we are coming up on camp season. She and her friends are all supposed to go to camp for a big part of the summer but that would mean either delay …
Career Counseling
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2017
Dear Therapist: The time has come in my life for me to make a parnassah to support my family. I am having a difficult time choosing what career path I would like to take and what field I want to get involved in. I am generally not a person who has a hard time making up his mind but I can’t seem to settle on something that I think I would be good at and interested in. Someone mentioned that therapists are trained in career counseling so I th …
Rambunctious Boys
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 16th, 2018
Dear Therapist: We are parents of 4 lovely boys BH. The house is very "rough and tumble" and while the boys often play very well together they also get physical with each other. We are having trouble figuring out when to intervene and when to let it go. We feel that on the one hand they need to learn to work it out among themselves; on the other hand at some point we need to intervene. Can you please give us some guidelines in raising rambunctiou …
How to Lose Friends and Discourage People
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 8th, 2024
Dear Therapist: I am a parent of a 9th grade girl in a large mainstream high school. She is trying to find her footing in a long lasting friendship and is starting to get to know a few girls. But because she is a very friendly girl, she is nice to the girls who aren't as socially gifted. The problem with this is when her friendliness gets in the way of spreading her wings, since these girls cling to her in an unhealthy way. While she doesn't …
The Doctor Will NOT See You Now
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 8th, 2024
Dear Therapist: My spouse has the interesting issue where he just refuses to go to the doctor for a well checkup. He is pushing 45 and probably hasn't been by a doctor in 15 years. When he is sick etc. he will go to an urgent care or a PA and take care of it, but that is pretty much it. He claims he is healthy and doctors just find issues. He seems ok but at this point I wonder if he is just nervous and so he is avoiding it. Do you have any sugge …
Why Do We Need Things?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 8th, 2024
Dear Therapist: I have been pushing off writing this, which maybe is part of the problem, but I feel like at this point I really need to. A few years ago, my husband was making a very nice living which caused us to raise our standards of living significantly. Now unfortunately, like I imagine many others are, we are feeling the crunch of the economy. Baruch Hashem, we have what we need but we can no longer afford to spend like we used to. We …
Do You Know Who You Are?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 8th, 2024
Dear Therapist: I was recently asked by a shadchan to write a detailed description of myself and I was surprised at how stuck I got. It was very hard for me to write about what's important to me, what my personality is like, and what I truly value, in a way that is anything other than cliche. I started thinking that there is something wrong with me that I can't do this. I think part of this is because there is a big difference between w …
My Father Won't Let Me See a Therapist
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 3rd, 2017
Dear Therapist: I am a 12th grader in what is considered a very chosuva mesivta. There are some things that I would like to discuss with someone. They cause me a lot of worry but I do not feel comfortable discussing this with a rebbe or mashgiach in yeshiva. I think that maybe a therapist would be the right type of person to discuss this with. The issue is that my father doesn't hold of therapy. I am not sure how to bring this up with him and I d …
My Son Is Overbearing
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 26th, 2022
Dear Therapist: ​Our 20-year-old son recently returned home from a year learning in Israel. He is boy who struggled a lot in his teens both academically and religiously. Baruch Hashem, he seems to have had an excellent year of growth, he likes his rabbeim and has learned a lot about being a mentsch, though he still has a way to go. He is very proud of his year and some new concepts and ideas he has learned. The yeshiva has an emphasis on emotio …
OCD or Kefira
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 26th, 2022
Dear Therapist: ​My daughter has always been an all-around healthy 17-year-old . She does tend to have anxiety but it’s always been kept in check. Lately though she’s become a shell of herself. She’s had trouble eating and sleeping and is not herself. We’ve tried very hard to get to the root cause of her distress. Finally she confided that she’s been having intrusive thoughts of kefira type themes. She’s horr …
I'm Socially Awkward...Or Am I?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 24th, 2017
Dear Therapist: I know someone who has a sibling who is in his early 20's and is holding down a job. However, he is socially awkward and can really benefit from therapy. However, this person will get highly insulted after being told this and may resent the person who told him. How can he be told (by a relative or professional) that his behavior calls for therapy? Can it be said straight out? If so, how should it be done? On the other hand, is fin …
Anxiety and Faith
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 23rd, 2024
Dear Therapist: My daughter is in seminary this year and it's the first time she's dormed a full year with other girls. She mentioned to me that one of her roommates seems very socially anxious & has a hard time making friends & being sociable. My daughter tries to include her but she often withdraws because of her social anxiety. She suggested to this girl that she speak to someone about her struggles & she keeps responding that she …
Diagnosis and Labelling
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 20th, 2024
Dear Therapist: Can you please share your thoughts on the phenomenon that I am noticing (not common baruch Hashem, but it happens) where people disparage others by "diagnosing" them with a mental illness. Thus, people who are rigid are called "OCD," those who are a bit different are "apspergy" and those who are jumpier are "ADD." More disturbing to me is that I have noticed the word "narcissist" being thrown around quiet casually. Unfortunat …
Social Anxiety at Work...at Work
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 19th, 2021
Dear Therapist: After multiple failures at work, I finally realize that my feelings of being intimidated by people and being anxious to speak my mind has been something that has gotten in my way all of my life. I wind up staying in my corner and not engaging or communicating with the people I am supposed to. The issue is that someone presented me with a great job opportunity which I accepted and will start next week. I really don't want to b …
Childhood OCD Treatment and Disclosure
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 19th, 2021
Dear Therapist: About a year ago, our 9-year-old daughter started to engage in compulsive rituals. She would have 1 specific ritual (such as checking that her heart was still beating) for a few weeks and then switch to a different ritual. Right now, her specific ritual is sniffing is an unusual way. This was/is not interfering with her performance at school or home, and she seemed happy overall, but we decided to take her to a p …
Is ADHD Necessarily a Problem?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 19th, 2021
Dear Therapist: My primary care physician recently told my husband that he thinks he has ADHD. My husband never had that diagnosis as a child, though I am not sure that means anything because he had a lot of different issues going on as a kid and that may have slipped through the cracks. Baruch Hashem he is doing fine now but has had trouble staying on track, specifically in work related areas. The doctor would like to prescribe him med …
My Friend Needs Therapy...I Think
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 19th, 2021
Dear Therapist: I recently read an article describing different people who should be seeing a therapist. I have a good friend whom I feel matches the description in the article. The more I think about it the more I honestly think he could benefit from seeing one. The problem is being a 21-year-old and being told by your close friend that you should be seeing a therapist isn't the most pleasant experience. How as a friend am I able to convey over …
Why Doesn't My Daughter Want to go to Camp?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 19th, 2021
Dear Therapist: My 13-year-old daughter is an intense child. She puts a lot of pressure of herself academically and school is a big deal for her. All of her friends are going to (overnight) camp this summer and initially she had us register her as well. She is now insisting that she wants to stay home for the summer and "relax." She says she works hard all year, and she just wants a chance to have nothing to do. It is interesting that it doe …
Mental Health and Dating
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 19th, 2021
Dear Therapist: I recently went out with a boy who disclosed on the 3rd date that he was seeing a therapist for depression. He said he had struggled on an off with depression since he was a teen and had sometimes taken medication for it. It turned out that the shidduch didn’t work out for other reasons, but I was really confused as to how to deal with that information. I liked him and he seemed like a perfectly normal boy, wh …
Does Teenage Grieving Require Therapy?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 19th, 2021
Dear Therapist: My daughter was encouraged by her principal to see a therapist. She has been misbehaving in school recently, nothing serious really, but the principal suggested it. She has gone through a lot as my wife was niftar 4 years ago, though she says she is fine and doesn't really seem different than the other girls in her class. They are all a tough bunch. I mean she is a teenage girl so who can really tell what sta …
My Paranoid Sister
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 18th, 2018
Dear Therapist: My sister has always thought that everyone was out to get her. She is extremely insecure and very sensitive. Now her paranoia has increased to the point where she is in a fight with everyone in her family. She is furious at me because she thinks I didn’t try hard enough to get her kids into high school. She thinks my husband ruined her kids’ shidduchim. She thinks my brothers are trying to push her husband out of the f …
Generational Mental Health
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 17th, 2017
Dear Therapist: I am wondering if you can help with the following question that I frequently wonder about. Why is there more of a need for therapists today than a generation or two ago? Somehow we managed fine in the past. I am not, chas v'shalom, against therapists, especially those who follow Da'as Torah. I am just seeking to understand. Response: Your question is one that bothers many people. It can be viewed from a theological, p …
Teenage Anorexia
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 16th, 2019
Dear Therapist: I am a sixteen-year-old girl, and I hope you can help me with my struggle. I will go straight to the point. I feel extremely uncomfortable in my skin; I feel very blown up and fat. I know that maybe that's not how I look, but this is how I feel. I badly want to be (super) thin. My family thinks and says I am thin. Whenever I go hungry I don't have this uncomfortable pit in my stomach. Yet …
Childhood Triggers
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 16th, 2019
Dear Therapist: Today I am a married woman with a family and have friends b”h, but as a child, I didn’t have any friends. When I was with classmates and when I would try to interject with a comment my comment would go unnoticed. I only made friends after I finished school and started working. When I bump into people I knew as a child, such as classmates, I become terrified and start to shake and the unbearable pain that lays deep …
My Children Are My Life
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 16th, 2019
Dear Therapist: I am a mother of a large family k"ah, with a B"H healthy good marriage. I have come across many times in articles, speeches, etc.… a concept that is stressed that when couples talk just between themselves (i.e. date nights, walks, or just some good old schmoozing), they shouldn't talk about the kids and about the husband's work. We are told that couples should speak about "other stuff like they spoke when the …
Is Financial Stress Hurting My Family?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 16th, 2019
Dear Therapist: We have recently experienced some significant financial difficulties which require us to change our standards of living. Up until 4-5 months ago, we were living what most people would consider a wealthy lifestyle. The reasons for the downturn are not important but it has been very rough on us as a family. This has caused my husband a lot of stress and has impacted our marriage as well. We are also having a difficult time explainin …
Hypnotherapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 16th, 2019
Dear Therapist: What is the panel’s opinion and experience with hypnotherapy? Does hypnotherapy work? How about when regular therapy fails? I have heard that hypnosis works because it reaches your unconscious self vs traditional therapy which only works on a conscious level. Response: Although I have had some training and experience with hypnotherapy, I’m certainly not an expert. I can speak generally, but I defer to those pane …
Traumatic Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 16th, 2019
Dear Therapist: A few years ago, I went to a therapist to deal with something very difficult going on in my life. Instead of validating my pain and letting me share my feelings in a non-judgmental environment, my therapist hurt me deeply. She said things that damaged my self-esteem more than anyone in my life had ever done. You might say that she was trying to help me grow? There is a way to say things to someone. Th …
My Child is Stealing
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 15th, 2018
Dear Therapist: Our 11-year-old son has been stealing things from his friends in school. We keep finding things in his room that we know he didn’t get from us. Recently he admitted that he took a toy from another boy’s briefcase. We are devastated. We give him everything he needs and he comes from a house that I would say has excellent chinuch. I have no idea where he picked up such a horrible thing. Additionally, we are very wo …
High School Isolation
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 15th, 2018
Dear Therapist: I am 14 years old, in mesivta, and I have no friends. I never really fit in. I am not interested in sports and the things that other kids are into. I feel very lonely and spend most of my day reading. I have always been very shy and I am not comfortable talking to anyone. My parents are not nogeah to talk to. Please help me. Thank you. Response: I’m sorry that you feel that you don’t fit in. It’s very iron …
Recommended Therapist or Available Therapist
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 11th, 2022
Dear Therapist: ​Thank you very much for your informative column, I look forward to reading it weekly. I recently began looking for a therapist for my teenage daughter. The primary issue I think is her mood and she seems to me to be depressed. I did my research about the best therapists available for the problem we are dealing with. Unfortunately, all the more experienced therapists who were recommended are not available and have long waiting l …
My Husband or My Therapy: Should I Have to Choose?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 11th, 2022
Dear Therapist: ​I am interested in starting to see a therapist. Mostly because I have a high amount of pressure and stress in my life and think it could be helpful to have a neutral person to share with weekly. My husband has had a hard time with this idea and says he feels hurt that I need to discuss things with a therapist and that I can't share them with him. He says he will be frustrated that there is someone that hears more about my life …
Am I Anxious and Depressed, or Just Unmotivated?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 11th, 2022
Dear Therapist: I struggle a lot with motivation. I have studied a lot of psychology on my own and have a good understanding of how to deal with negative emotions. I can deal with sadness and anxiety and stop them from interfering with my life but I still just don't feel energized and motivated. It is easy for people to tell me that I should "just do it" but I think that emotions are necessary for us to be driven and I just don't seem to have tha …
Anxiety or Language Issue?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 11th, 2022
Dear Therapist: Our 13-year-old daughter is a very sweet girl who is not the best academically but overall does well. She is however pretty quiet in general, seems slightly anxious and seems to have trouble really expressing herself. For example she has a hard time describing the details of a story and usually will just talk in short sentences and will answer a question with a word or two. We are considering therapy for her but someone rece …
Filling My Father's Shoes
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 11th, 2022
Dear Therapist: My father, who was a very choshuve rov was recently niftar. I was asked (pushed) to take over his position. I have another position that I am very happy with but I feel that it is important for me to continue in his footsteps and keep the kehilla that he worked so hard to build alive. So, I accepted the request to take over and an announcement was made that I will take over in a few months. I have bee …
Can Therapy Really Help Me?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 11th, 2022
Dear Therapist: People have told me in the past that I need to go to therapy. However, I am an extremely practical and logic-based person and I am skeptical that therapy actually helps people. If I had statistics that 70/80% of people had significant improvement through therapy that would make me much more likely to spend the money. As of now I am not convinced. Does the panel agree that until proven otherwise my position is the correct one in th …
Angry Teenager
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 11th, 2022
Dear Therapist: I have a 13 year old son who has been having these anger outbursts. He has always been a pretty good kid but since his bar mitzvah has been getting really angry with his parents and siblings. He has been physical with his siblings and talks with a lot of chutzpah to his parents, especially his father. His rabbeim say he is doing well in school and there hasn't been much of a change in his life other than the added responsibilities …
Problematic In-Laws
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 11th, 2022
Dear Therapist: My husband has a mental health issue, which is b"h under control, with the help of therapy and a lot of support. With incredible siyata dishmaya, we were able to repair the damage it caused to our relationship. However, because of his issues, which started in his parents' house at a young age, I have a very bad relationship with my husband's parents. They are aware of the issue and have been incredibly unsupportive. In fact, …
Trauma Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 10th, 2017
Dear Therapist: Around a year ago I went through something very difficult (I am not comfortable providing all the details). I have found that the passing of time since the event, keeping busy so that I don't have time to think about it, as well as writing about it, have helped but would appreciate any other suggestions that you might have. Someone I spoke to said it was a “trauma” and that something called “EMDR” is used t …
Has Depression Become a Catch-All?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 9th, 2017
Dear Therapist: I was wondering what your opinion was regarding taking anti-depressants. I have been feeling extremely tired and fatigued recently and when I went to my doctor thinking I needed some blood work he prescribed me an anti-depressant. Is this an advisable course of treatment? Do you think it would be more beneficial for me to see a therapist in addition to, or perhaps instead of, medication? Response: I’m not a psychiatri …
Can My Therapist Fix Me?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 7th, 2025
Dear Therapist: I enjoy your column every week. I appreciate how each of you have your own style and way of seeing things. I was wondering if you could each share your opinion on what you think is most misunderstood about therapy. How would you clarify and reframe it for those who may be considering therapy? Response: Of course, as you said, all therapists have different styles and perspectives. (Thus, our responses to this question …
Post-Holiday Blues
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 7th, 2025
I find that I get very down and depressed after yomim tovim. Not just Purim but really every Yom Tov, and truthfully after every exciting time of year. I am sure most people have some sort of let down but with me it is really painful. As a matter of fact, when something enjoyable starts, I am already starting to think about how soon it will be over. I guess I just have a rough time with "regular life." How can I get better at handling this? …
Self-Sabotaging Tailspin?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 7th, 2025
I wonder if you have any suggestions for pulling out of what feels like a tailspin these last few weeks. I had been doing really well at work, at home, and in my learning and davening and suddenly I feel like I just lost all interest. It’s hard for me to get out of bed in the morning, I push off my chavrusah, and I am not paying attention at home or work. It seems to have come from nowhere. I know it will pass and I will get …
Decisions...Decisions...Decisions?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 7th, 2024
Dear Therapist: My son has always had a hard time making decisions. Even when it comes to making small choices, like what to order in a restaurant, it's a whole esek. He really never had to make too many serious choices in his life, he went to the same yeshiva straight through and to Eretz Yisroel together with his friends. Same with camp, there wasn't much choice. I am worried as he gets ready for shidduchim that he will have a rough …
Should I Choose My Husband or My Parents?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 7th, 2024
Dear Therapist: My husband has a very difficult time getting along with my parents. I am not sure what the source of this is but it's been like that for a while. My husband is a great father and wonderful husband and man, and my parents are wonderful too. We all have our quirks and somehow my husband and parents just grate on each other the wrong way. We have somehow managed this over the first 5 years of our marriage but it seems to be get …
Holidays in Isolation
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 31st, 2020
Dear Therapist: We live out of town and do not get a chance to see much of our extended family that often. A highlight of our year is the Yomim Tovim where we travel to our children. The thought of being home all alone for Yom Tov is just so sad for me. Baruch Hashem I get along with my husband but I was so looking forward to Yom Tov with the delicious grandchildren. I know that there are people that are sick and that in comparison this is not su …
Corona Isolation
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 31st, 2020
Dear Therapist: I am currently in self isolation on my doctor’s recommendation due to being exposed to COVID-19. Unfortunately, many others are currently in the same situation and many more will be in the coming weeks. I am basically alone in my room (so as not to expose the rest of my family) for at least another 5 days. Others I know need to remain in their homes with their families. What advice and guidance can you give me and othe …
Fear of Corona
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 31st, 2020
Dear Therapist: Any suggestions with coping for the tremendous amount of stress that coronavirus is adding to our lives? The constant stream of contradictory information from doctors, the hysteria of the media, and the genuine concern regarding what seems to be a serious problem is undeniably taking up alot of emotional space in my life. Any recommendations? Response: As far as specific information regarding COVID-19 is concerned, yo …
Learning Changed My Son's Personality
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 31st, 2020
Dear Therapist: My son started dorming in an out of town yeshiva this year. While he had tremendous growth in ruchniyus during the year, I am worried that his personality has been affected somewhat. He appears much more quiet and serious than his former care-free and humorous self. My husband says that this is a normal stage that bochurim go through when trying to find where they stand in the balance between a rigorous be …
Success Story
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 31st, 2020
Dear Therapist: It can be sad to see all the different issues people are facing in the area of mental health. I wonder if, lekavod Purim, you could each share a short success story from your practice about how someone was able to reach their goals and enhance their lives? Response: To preserve confidentiality, I cannot refer to specifics. However, I think that most therapists would agree that their successes tend to make all their work wor …
Kallah Classes
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 31st, 2020
Dear Therapist: Thank you for the invaluable awareness that you raise in our community. I have been in therapy to address anxiety. After much therapeutic work, I have become aware that I had been provided with misinformation in kallah classes that had negative effects on the health of my marriage. Upon further research in the mental health field and extensive consultations with rabbanim, I learned that this is unfortunately prevalent in our commu …
My Kid Bites!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 31st, 2020
Dear Therapist: What is the correct way to teach children not to bite? Our 4-year-old has been having this issue. When I was a kid, we were threatened with getting pepper on our tongue, getting soap in our mouths, or being bit back ourselves (so you know what it feels like). My sense is these ideas don’t fly today. Or do they? It can really hurt the other kids. Do you have any better ideas? Response: The three remedies to which you r …
Fractured Family
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 31st, 2020
Dear Therapist: My husband and I recently became estranged from our daughter. She is angry at us for what she perceives we have done her wrong. She was able to convince her brother, with whom we had good relations till then, that we are people who should be avoided. Both my daughter and my son forbade their children from having contact with me and my husband. I used to have very close relationships with both families, and I am bereft …
Should All Children Express Emotion?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 31st, 2020
Dear Therapist: What can I do to help my child express his emotions better? Most of my kids young and old don’t have any problems discussing issues, how they feel, or expressing emotion but my 8-year-old just doesn’t seem to have the vocabulary to describe how he feels. He seems to get “stuck” when it comes to emotions. Overall, he is a great kid who does well in school and with friends; it’s when it comes to things …
Son Misunderstood
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 31st, 2020
Dear Therapist: Our 20-year-old son insists that no one understands him. This is not in a bitter way; rather he seems to think that everything about him is so deep and complex that no matter how we respond he still thinks we don’t get it. We have been extremely patient with him and spent a lot of time listening and validating but, for whatever reason, he still thinks we just can’t understand him. He will give lengthy ha …
Threatening Dad
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 31st, 2020
Dear Therapist: I have a few small children, the oldest of whom is six years old, who can be quite difficult. My husband often threatens them, jokingly, with all sorts of physical punishments for their behavior, some mild and others outrageous. He says it is a harmless way to let off some of his stress. I am concerned about the effects of this on their psychological development. I know how literal little kids are, and I see the expressions on the …
Should I Hire an Addict?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 31st, 2020
Dear Therapist: Can you please share your opinion on whether it is possible to be "cured" from an addiction? If someone had an addiction and had treatment are they ok now or is this something they will struggle with for the rest of their lives? I ask specifically because it's nogeah a business partner who wants to come back in the business now but when he was struggling caused the business significant harm. He is a good friend and a talented pers …
My Husband's Therapy Isn't Working
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 31st, 2020
Dear Therapist: My husband had a rough childhood. His parents were very "old school" and harsh and critical. This has led to a general lack of confidence and low self-esteem which is prevalent in everything he does (or doesn't do). He has been in therapy for two years and says that he finds it very beneficial. However, as an outside observer, I don't really see any change other than him creating a narrative for his problems. He understands why h …
Can I Quit Smoking?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 30th, 2018
Dear Therapist: I took my first cigarette in 9th grade. I have been smoking steadily for the past 15 years. If I am honest I realize that it is a big health risk but that doesn’t seem to motivate me to stop. I guess I kind of “want to want” to stop. It certainly would make my wife and parents happy. My questions are: 1. Do you have any suggestions as to how to become more motivated to quit? 2. Are there any specific …
Bad Shidduch
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 30th, 2018
Dear Therapist: My best friend recently became engaged. I should be overjoyed; however, I am very afraid for her. She has never had great self-esteem and is not a great judge of character. Her chosson does not appear to be a good person at all. He doesn’t treat her with respect and is constantly making demeaning remarks to her in front of everyone. You can tell a lot from the way others talk about him as well. I feel like she just has such …
Should I Be My Friend's Therapist?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 29th, 2017
Dear Therapist: I am a 17 year old girl and one of my closest friends is constantly saying very depressing things. I'm not always sure if she is serious or just doing it to get attention. I don't know if anyone else is aware of this but she definitely does not want me to tell anyone. Point is, I'm not really sure what to do about it. It's getting to be a bit much for me but if I don't listen to her and take her seriously I don't think she will ha …
My Sister's Rare Condition
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 27th, 2019
Dear Therapist: I have a sister with a rare medical condition. Hardly anyone knows about it and I found out by mistake. I have watched her surmount her many challenges, but I am stuck pitying her (and myself) and wishing things were different. She’s such a good person so why her?! I have not moved past it and it pains me deeply watching her... I’m helpless and powerless in terms of helping and I wish there was something I can do Any …
"Losing It" with the Kids
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 27th, 2019
Dear Therapist: Pesach is approaching! I find that as a mother of a large family I get overwhelmed at this time of year and really lose it with my kids. Overall I think I am a wonderful parent but I could use some extra tools to deal with this extra stress. Any advice? Or does this just come along with being a Jewish mother? Response: I don’t know exactly what you mean by “lose it.” I also don’t know the ages of yo …
What is Happiness?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 27th, 2019
Dear Therapist: As the yom tov of Purim approaches, I wonder if the esteemed panel can elaborate a bit on "happiness." There is so much attention today being paid to being happy. It is even enshrined in the declaration of independence as a right. I sometimes wonder if the fact that people chase happiness, which can be so elusive, actually makes them more miserable. As therapists who are bnei torah I was hoping you could share your thoughts on ha …
Graphology
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 27th, 2019
Dear Therapist: I once used the services of a graphologist to gain some insight into myself and my challenges. I sent in my handwriting and a drawing, and I received a short reply with some advice, basically that I am living in a way that I exert myself very strongly, striving to force myself to be something I am not, and I must stop living with my illusions and focus on being myself and achieve according to my ability in order for me to be happ …
Constant Blushing
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 27th, 2019
Dear Therapist: I am a 19-year-old boy who went to an out of town yeshiva this year. My yeshiva provides a dormitory, but they don't provide Shabbos seudas. Every Shabbos I have to find meals and many times I end up by people whom I don't know and never met before. There is one issue with this. When I introduce myself to new people I turn red in the face. This is something that I feel I can't control as much as I prep myself before. This is extr …
I Can't Stand my Mom's Criticism
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 27th, 2019
Dear Therapist: I am a 20 something year old girl struggling with shidduchim and finding Mr. Right. In the meantime I am living at home with my parents and here lies the problem. My mother doesn't realize but she is singling me out for emotional mistreatment. Nothing I say, think, or wear is good enough. My opinions are too left wing, my clothing is too tight, this outfit doesn't make me look good. All day every day that's all I hear from her. I …
Differing Parenting Styles...Harmful or Helpful?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 24th, 2021
Dear Therapist: We live in a duplex and are friendly with our neighbors. We do however have different parenting styles. Recently our 9-year-old daughter has become very friendly with the young girl next door. She spends hours on end there and seems to enjoy being there much more than home. I kind of see where she is coming from as there are practically no rules and not much in the way of supervision either. There is no moderation and things that …
Call Me Stonewall Husband
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 24th, 2021
Dear Therapist: Overall, my husband and I—married for ten years with five wonderful children—have beautiful shalom bayis,. We have a loving relationship and bring harmony and happiness into our home on a day-to-day basis. The problem is when we have something to work through. When I do something or say something that upsets my husband he totally shuts down and becomes handicapped at communicating. He is not overall an emotio …
Does Mental Illness Exist?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 24th, 2021
Dear Therapist: My sister has a difficult time with her 2 of her children. They are socially awkward, struggle in school and seem to me to be very anxious. Whenever they go through something difficult, she seems to quickly find a "medical" related reason why whatever is happening is happening. One time it's strep, one time PANDAS, or Lyme disease or whatever else. She runs around from doctor to doctor getting all sorts of treatments for them.&nbs …
Choosing the Right Therapist
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 24th, 2021
Dear Therapist: I'm looking for some direction about something that I've been thinking about for a while. Maybe you can help. Often, I struggle with thoughts and feelings that make it hard for me to get through my day and I think I have felt like this since I was a teen. Feeling this way has affected my relationships at work, with my kids and my siblings. My current state has even put pressure on my relationship with my husband. It&rsqu …
Is Everything an Addiction?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 24th, 2021
Dear Therapist: I would like to know the panel’s opinions regarding video games. I have heard that it is possible to become addicted to video games and I am not sure how this could be possible considering there is nothing the person is taking into their body like nicotine or alcohol. I understand that there are more productive ways that I can be spending my time but it seems that there is a tendency now to turn everything into an addiction. …
Work Anxiety?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 23rd, 2017
Dear Therapist, I recently graduated from college and began a job in an accounting firm. Although the job is working out well and I get along with everyone there, I have been feeling increasingly anxious as time goes on. I can't put my finger on what is bothering me because nothing else in my life has changed. In school I was always a relaxed, happy, popular person. I have good relationships and I am happy with my career, but I can't seem to shak …
Do I Have Social Anxiety?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 20th, 2025
Dear Therapist: Is feeling that I don't have anything to say in social situations social anxiety? Even in situations where I don't feel anxious, I have a hard time making conversation. Even when I am with people that I feel comfortable with. Am I just missing some sort of social skill or is this part of social anxiety? Or maybe this is just who I am and I should accept it. I would appreciate your advice. Thank you. Response: At first …
Family Religiosity
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 20th, 2025
Dear Therapist: I am writing regarding my 19-year-old daughter. She is doing well baruch Hashem but has always been a different personality than the rest of our family. She has also landed on a derech in life that, while she is living as a frum yid, is different than the way she was brought up. Our relationship has had its up and downs over the years but now I would say it is kind of neutral. Although we are accepting of …
Dealing with a Bully
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 1st, 2021
Dear Therapist: I am looking for advice on how to deal with bullying in school on the elementary school level. I have found a lot of conflicting opinions on it. There are those that emphasize standing up to the bully, others ignoring the bully, and those that say neither works. A lot of warnings about how having the child who is being bullied change his/her behavior is "blaming the victim" and that how can you really expect a young kid to stick u …
Parent's Verbal Abuse
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 1st, 2021
Dear Therapist: I am aware of someone who is emotionally unhealthy and demonstrates real negative verbal abuse such as constantly putting others down/bad name calling, explosive reactions, and ignoring and not caring about others’ needs. This person is completely incapable of raising children and constantly lashing out at them and destroying them to pieces.
I am very concerned for these children and the negative effects th …
Diagnosis Withholding
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 1st, 2021
Dear Therapist: Our 26-year-old daughter recently went through a time where she was down. We didn’t think much of it and she appeared to get better but then showed some troubling behaviors. On the advice of our rov, we brought her to a psychiatrist. We are also still on a waiting list to see a therapist. The psychiatrist believes that she has bipolar disorder and is giving her medication for that. Our question is, does it make a difference …
Do Not Remove This Label...
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 1st, 2021
Dear Therapist: A well-known educator recently spoke out strongly against "labeling" a child. Even if a child has a mental health issue and is receiving services, we must make sure he/she is not labeled. The remark struck a chord with me as 2 of my children are currently in therapy one for behavioral issues and one for anxiety. While the idea of not labeling a child sounds nice in theory, I am not sure how to put it in practice. At the end of the …
Here a Diagnosis, There a Diagnosis, Everywhere a Diagnosis...
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 1st, 2021
Dear Therapist: As there has been an increase in mental health awareness in the community I am noticing that people can be somewhat quick to point out what they believe are mental health issues in others. I see this particularly when it comes to personality disorders, more specifically Borderline Personality and Narcissistic Personality. I see these terms get thrown about and I am hoping you can clarify for the readership. Are personality disorde …
My Son's School Wants Him in Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 1st, 2021
Dear Therapist: My son’s yeshiva has been putting some pressure on me and my wife to send him for therapy. The primary reason for this seems to be because he has been getting in trouble at school. Not serious trouble but being disruptive in class. My son has a great personality and is a leader, so I am sure that this is partly why the focus is on him. The yeshiva is insistent that he should be seen by a therapist because they assume that th …
Decision-Making...I Mean Decisiveness
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 1st, 2021
Dear Therapist: My husband and I are struggling with our 23-year-old son. There is a certain amount of instability to him where he is constantly changing his mind. For example, one day he is all into learning and is talking about staying in learning for a long time after he gets married and a few weeks later he is talking about leaving yeshiva now and going to work. When it comes to shidduchim he changes significant pieces of what he is …
Choosing a Therapist
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 1st, 2021
Dear Therapist: I'm looking for some direction about something that I've been thinking about for a while. Maybe you can help. Often, I struggle with thoughts and feelings that make it hard for me to get through my day and I think I have felt like this since I was a teen. Feeling this way has affected my relationships at work, with my kids and my siblings. My current state has even put pressure on my relationship with my husband. It&rsqu …
Psychiatrist Knows Best?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 1st, 2021
Dear Therapist: My daughter, who is a young adult and therefore has the autonomy to make her own decisions regarding medication, opted to take medication for depression. This in spite of the fact that as her mother I know her better than a doctor who spent 10-12 minutes interviewing her and over 40 minutes interviewing me at the initial appointment (after having been told the opposite is what would happen). Said doctor diagnosed my da …
I Don't Get No Validation!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 1st, 2021
Dear Therapist: I live in a home that is not a healthy happy environment. I feel my parents have trouble providing for me emotionally. They are not abusive in any way, but I never received any validation, affection, healthy communication etc. growing up. I recently hit this stage where I woke up from a “bubble” and started realizing and processing how difficult the situation really is and how much I am lacking in my life as a result. …
Discussing Drug Use with Kids
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 1st, 2021
Dear Therapist: The unfortunate reality is that marijuana use is becoming increasingly less taboo in society. This has been driven home by the recent vote in NJ to legalize its use. Until recently it never would have crossed my mind as something I need to worry about with my children. However, with its increased prevalence in society, I am starting to wonder if this is something I need to discuss with my kids? Do you think this is something I sho …
I Lost My Ambition
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 1st, 2021
Dear Therapist: I have never been the most ambitious guy but I have a decent job and make a living. What I find recently is that it is really hard for me to stay motivated. I’ll do ok for a few days and then (usually mid-week) I hit a wall and just can’t seem to push myself to get anything done. Initially I thought it would pass but it’s becoming a pattern that repeats itself. My life is actually pretty full so it’s not li …
Gaming and Addiction
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 1st, 2021
Dear Therapist: I would like to know the panel’s opinions regarding video games. I have heard that it is possible to become addicted to video games and I am not sure how this could be possible considering there is nothing the person is taking into their body like nicotine or alcohol. I understand that there are more productive ways that I can be spending my time but it seems that there is a tendency now to turn everything into an addiction. …
Medication and Dating
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 1st, 2021
Dear Therapist: I’m on medication (citolophram) for minor depression, so minor that I “lived” for 20 years with it always wanting to go for help, but never being desperate. My parents put me on meds with the guidance of a qualified top psychiatrist although I was going into shidduchim. It wasn’t even a discussion; medication was the best option for me along with regular therapy and that’s what we did. I could have st …
Eating Disorders in Men
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 1st, 2021
Dear Therapist: Is an eating disorder something that primarily is an issue for women/girls? I am concerned about my teenage son’s eating habits. I try and get him to eat more but he doesn't want to. When is there a cause for concern and how can I get him to eat more? Response: Treatment centers and resources for eating disorders do seem to cater more to women than to men. This may be due to various factors. Traditionally, social cult …
The Mental Health Impact of COVID
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 1st, 2021
Dear Therapist: I have heard that COVID-19 illness can have effects on mental health. Based on your knowledge and experience is there any truth to this? If yes, how can someone prevent and/or deal with this appropriately? Response: Your question is a bit unclear. I don’t know whether you are referring to possible physical side effects that can medically adversely affect the brain, or if you are referring to the psychological ef …
Help Me Sleep!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 1st, 2017
Dear Therapist: I'm really enjoying your column, and I'd love to hear your take on my problem. I am eighteen and I've always suffered from anxiety, and in times of stress also insomnia, but since I graduated from school last year and started working it’s gotten a lot worse. These days, I barely sleep and I am constantly in a state of sleep deprivation and exhaustion. I've tried melatonin, but it doesn't really help much. It basically only m …
I Hate My Job!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 16th, 2018
Dear Therapist: My husband has had a job in finance for around 15 years. He is very good at it and makes a nice living but it is a stressful job and he is under a lot of pressure. He has recently begun complaining a lot and is overwhelmed by work. He took off a few weeks recently and that helped, but only briefly. He is talking about changing careers but I don’t know why he suddenly can’t handle it. He says he just isn’t interes …
Hagbah Issues
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 16th, 2018
Dear Therapist: I appreciate your column and insights and I would like to get your opinion on something that has been bothering me for a long time. I am afraid to do hagbah. I have only done it once in my life (with a really small Sefer Torah). I should be strong enough but I just have such a fear that I will drop the Sefer. I usually duck out of shul when it’s time for hagbah so that the gabbai won’t approach me. If I do get asked I …
Trichotillomania
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 16th, 2018
Thank you for your column. I really enjoy it. I am a teenage girl who bh has many things going for me; I have a great, loving family, plenty of friends, good grades and all in all I am very happy. I do suffer from trichotillomania (I pull out my hair). But just to make it clear those who don't know would not be able to tell. My friends know and really don't think about it—it really has no effect on my life. Do you think it is necessary to g …
Infertility Depression
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 15th, 2022
Dear Therapist: I have been married for a long while with no children. There is a possibility that we will never be able to have children. Recently I have been extremely depressed about it, although still functioning through daily life. I do not feel therapy can help such an awful emotional situation but my wife disagrees. Who does the panel side with? Response: I’m sorry that you are going through this difficult situation. Unfortuna …
My In-Laws Make Us Pay
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 15th, 2022
Dear Therapist: My husband and I are married for ten years, we have 6 beautiful children. BH our expenses for tuition, healthcare and rent are significant. We should be able to make it to the end of the month without an issue since we are both working. However, that rarely happens. My husband grew up in a home where both his parents worked full time but never budgeted or thought about the future. Now, in their mid-70’s the financial situati …
Man-Made Mental Illness?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 15th, 2022
Dear Therapist: Thank you so much for the column, I really enjoy it each week. I would like to know what the panelists think of the following:
Of course, there are real mental illnesses that exist and those that suffer from them should obviously get the help and support that they need. But I feel like many of the people "suffering from mental illness" are suffering from man-made problems based on the expectations of our society. For instance …
Why Do I Always PANIC?!?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 15th, 2022
Dear Therapist: I have always been jealous of those who are able to keep calm when everything around them is in crisis. There are some people who it seems no matter what is going on around them are able to keep cool, stay rational, and make sound decisions. I always tend to panic and do exactly the wrong thing. Is this just a personality type that you are born with or is this something you can develop? If it is something you can really become goo …
My Father's Unlicensed Exposure Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 15th, 2022
Dear Therapist: When I was a teenager, I developed a severe phobia. I don’t think it is relevant to be more specific as to what it was. What matters is that my father learned a lot about it, got a lot of books and workbooks, and took it upon himself to help me work through it. The best method he said is a CBT approach called “exposure therapy.” This led to him pushing me very hard to be in the exact situations that were making m …
Is My Student Depressed?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 15th, 2022
Dear Therapist: I am a teacher in a high school and am writing regarding a girl in one of my 11th grade classes. Some of the other staff think she should be sent for therapy because "she doesn't seem happy." She is a girl who is shy and introverted. I know her mother and she is also quite shy. She has friends but is quiet in big groups. She does well in groups of 2 or 3. She isn't very happy in school because learning is a st …