Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW Weekly Q&A As Published In Yated Ne'eman
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Showing Results 40 - 80 (385 total)
What's the Right Amount of Anxiety?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 6th, 2023
Dear Therapist: I have always considered myself a healthy person and have never been diagnosed with any kind of mental health issue. Recently, due to the current events in Eretz Yisroel, I have this feeling of uneasiness that follows me around all day. I can't say I'm anxious but I certainly don't feel like my regular self. I feel more "alert" when I am walking down the street, considering travel plans, or even dropping my kids off at school …
Enough Therapy Already?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 6th, 2023
Dear Therapist: Thank you for this forum and for your time and advice. Our son's school recommended that our 7-year-old be evaluated for behavioral issues at the end of last school year and that he may benefit from some extra help during summer vacation. We had him evaluated privately and paid privately for the sessions that he is receiving and b”H have seen improvement in his overall behavior and his ability to follow instru …
The Stonewalling Therapist
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 6th, 2023
Dear Therapist: When I asked my fifteen-year-old daughter’s therapist questions about what was being addressed in therapy and why we needed to continue, she was evasive, making it clear that it wasn’t my place to know and there was no reason for me to be involved. I was quite baffled and rattled. It just didn’t make sense to me at all that I was not being included as an important team member. But I put aside my troubled feelings …
Can I Force Someone Into Treatment?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 30th, 2017
Dear Therapist: What options are there for someone who clearly needs treatment but refuses to get it? I am currently involved with two cases where the person has serious issues that are affecting themselves and their families but won’t go for help. In one case the person is so depressed they barely leave the house for anything and won’t even hear of it. In the other case the person thinks there is nothing wrong with them but the …
Eating Disorder Group Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 2nd, 2017
Dear Therapist: Our daughter unfortunately suffers from an eating disorder. One of the things the doctor is recommending is “group therapy”. We have a number of concerns regarding this. First off, the people in the group will, presumably, be just as sick or worse than she is. We don’t want her to get any ideas that she doesn’t have already. Secondly, we are worried that she will meet people there and people will find out a …
Should I Seek Therapy Simply for Accountability?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 28th, 2024
Dear Therapist: Is there a benefit to using therapy just for accountability? I pretty much know what I need to do but I push things off a bit and I find that it helps for me to have someone that I check in with weekly to keep me on my game. I have done therapy in the past for deeper issues but I feel like at this point it's more about taking action. I am considering resuming therapy but mostly just for the goal of being accountable to someone. Pu …
Self-Esteem Revisited Again
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 28th, 2024
Dear Therapist: I enjoy your weekly responses and I think that it has provided me with a lot of insight into my own life. My question is: How would you define self-esteem? Is it the same thing as self-confidence? Is it something that someone can build on their own or must they be born and raised with? I understand that everyone might have a slightly different definition but I think I would appreciate hearing all of your perspectives on this. Than …
Teen Overspending
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 25th, 2024
Dear Therapist: We brought up our children simply and we tried to keep them pretty sheltered. Baruch Hashem many are married and have turned out well. One of our teenage boys has decided he was deprived and has now gone completely the opposite way where he says he needs everything he didn't have. Clothes, scooters, electronics, nothing bad per se, but definitely not how he was raised. We have been discussing with his rabbeim where to dr …
Tantrums! Aarrgghh!!!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 25th, 2024
Dear Therapist: My 7-year-old daughter seems to have an unusual temper. I understand it's normal for a kid that age to have tantrums but this is something else. She seems to have actual rage. It is also kind of hard to predict what sets her off. Sometimes she goes to school without a fuss and sometimes she will insist she isn't going and it turns into a huge fight. The "switch" seems to turn off as quickly and unpredictably. What works with …
Overspending Husband
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 25th, 2024
Dear Therapist: My husband and I have a wonderful marriage baruch Hashem. We share the same goals and are overall very much on the same page. One area where we keep having arguments is regarding finances. I am much more of a saver and a planner and he has an attitude of "we will figure it out." This is the kind of thing that keeps coming up again and again in our marriage and we just don't seem to have a path that works things out. …
Obsessive Praying
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 25th, 2024
Dear Therapist: I have been struggling for many years with my davening. Many times, I feel that if I only put enough emotion and feeling into my davening, I can get the results that I want. The problem is that forcing myself backfires. It's hard to concentrate on the meaning of the words when trying to create feelings. In my case, I wind up worrying all day about my relationship with Hashem, if I am a good person, and if I am a proper maamin …
Breaking News: Parents Embarrass Their Teenage Kids!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 25th, 2024
Dear Therapist: I'm curious to hear what the panelists have to say about the following: What is the correct approach that a parent should take when a child expresses their embarrassment about their parents, their parents clothing, cars, house etc.... For example, my teenagers will say, "What you’re wearing is so outdated," "Our house is so messy," "Ma, you can't wear this," "Please pick me up from school in our nicer car …
My Angry, Abusive Brother
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 25th, 2024
Dear Therapist: I have a middle-aged younger brother who lives a depressed, resentful, lonely, unemployed life. My mother, an almanna, has a heart of gold and would do anything to help him. Yet, he gets extremely angry at her when they speak on the phone, and expresses deep resentment to her, which is similar to how he connected with our father a"h. He thinks she favors me over him, among other gripes. On the rare occasion that he visi …
Dating Rejection Trauma
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 25th, 2024
Dear Therapist: Around a year ago my son was far along in a shidduch and at a late stage the girl said no. He was devastated at the time which we thought was normal. But it is now a while later and his dating has really suffered from it. He is constantly procrastinating when shidduchim are redt to him and he is an anxious mess when he dates. After every date he agonizes about his decision and, in my opinion, has said no to some very nic …
My Son is Being Left Back!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 25th, 2024
Dear Therapist: It is becoming clear that we are going to need to have our son who is now in 3rd grade go back to 2nd grade after Succos. He is too far behind and we can't provide the support that is necessary to help him maintain grade level. I am not sure how to break this news to him and how to help him so that this will not scar him emotionally or socially. Please advise us how to do this in the most painless way possible. Thank you …
Marriage Intrusion?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 25th, 2024
Dear Therapist: I am worried that my daughter who just went to seminary is spending way too much time at her newly married sister's home. I think she is missing out on the full experience and the chance to make new friends. I am more concerned that it isn't good for my shana rishona couple to have someone in the house all the time. Both my daughters say that I am over reacting and it's not a big deal. I would appreciate your opinion and …
Engagement Anxiety
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 22nd, 2023
Dear Therapist: My son is engaged and has become very panicky about if he made the right decision. Initially we figured it was nerves but it has persisted. He can't really point out any major concerns about the girl but he also is very worried about getting married. More like he feels something is "missing." He acknowledges that he is very anxious but says that he doesn't know if that's just fear or his intuition telling him there is something wr …
Medication and Dating Revisited
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 22nd, 2023
Dear Therapist: As a teenager our son saw a therapist for a while due to some burnout/depression. Baruch Hashem with some adjustments to his yeshiva life and the help he received he is doing amazing and has been for a while. He is still on a low dose of medication which has worked well for him. When he tried going off, he relapsed and our consensus is that it's best for him to stay on it for now. Now that he is starting shidduchim he is very nerv …
What is the Processing Process?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 22nd, 2023
Dear Therapist: I have a pretty basic question about therapy, and I am hoping you can answer it for me. I went through something difficult recently and a few people have told me I should go to therapy so that I could “process” it. I have heard that word from a couple of people and no one has really been able to tell me what exactly that means. What does it mean to “process” something? To talk about it? I have been talking …
Self-Esteem Revisited
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 22nd, 2017
Dear Therapist: I am a young adult with anxiety and I constantly beat myself with mistakes that I make. I was wondering if you can please give me insight on how to deal with it. I'm a bit impulsive. Ex: I spent a bit too much on food recently and now I'm upset that I don't have any money left for more important things that I need. I think very bad thoughts that are not letting me move on in life. I get very tense and have negative thoughts like & …
My Impersonal Parental Relationships
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 18th, 2021
Dear Therapist: As a teenage boy I am going through lots of ups and downs. Throughout this period there is one particular issue that is getting worse and worse. That is my parents. As it stands now, I cannot "open up" to them about anything personal in my life. Whether it is about friends, family, teachers, or anything that is personal, I find it practically impossible to speak to my parents (though I do find it easier to speak about personal iss …
Is My Wife Milking Her Illness?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 18th, 2021
Dear Therapist: My wife was diagnosed with a serious illness a few years ago. While she was sick of course the entire focus of myself, our friends, and our extended families was to give her room and support and help her in every way possible. All we wanted was for her to able to be completely taken care of so that the only thing she needed to be busy with was getting better. Meals, housekeeping, mother's helpers, and so much more were provi …
School to Work Adjustment
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 18th, 2021
Dear Therapist: I am a 22-year-old former yeshiva bochur. I have always struggled in yeshiva and never did well. I recently made the decision together with my parents and rov to find a job. I was able to find a job that keeps me busy, will teach me an important industry, and has a lot of growth potential. I also have a chavrusa daily. Surprisingly, I have found the adjustment to this new stage in life to be very difficult. I am workin …
What's the Therapy Process?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 18th, 2021
Dear Therapist: Our daughter experienced a significant trauma when she was in seminary last year. It had been suggested a few times, both by her school and once she came home, that she go for treatment. For whatever reason she refused. She now approached us that she would like to speak to someone about what she experienced and saw. We read this column regularly and would like to hear your recommendation regarding what is the best type of approach …
My Bullying Co-Worker
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 18th, 2021
Dear Therapist: I recently started a new job which I was very excited about. Things started well enough but there is another woman who has chosen to make my life miserable. I believe she feels threatened by me because we have a similar position (though I don't think her job is in jeopardy at all). She never misses a chance for a nasty comment be it to coworkers or even managers. I tried to have a discussion with her about it, but she totall …
Laypeople Advising Professionals
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 18th, 2021
Dear Therapist: Hi, I work with bochurim in the community and am often involved during crises as well. I would like to know the panel’s opinion on having a doctor prescribe a fast-acting anti-anxiety medication such as Xanax or Klonopin for someone who is usually doing well but occasionally has severe bouts of anxiety? Some people have told me that just knowing they have that option, that the pills are there if they need them, can hel …
Does My Son Have Asperger's?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 18th, 2021
Dear Therapist: I am wondering if you can guide us where to turn regarding some challenges that we are having with my 7-year-old son. While it is hard to write everything that we notice, he is basically having problems with friends. For example, he has a hard time getting the concept that someone can play with him one day and then play with a different kid the next day. He also is very into trains and will talk about it as well as its …
Post-Traumatic Video Stress
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 18th, 2021
Dear Therapist: I am a 17-year-old girl who has had no psychological issues in the past. A few months ago, someone I know thought it would be a good idea to show me a very violent video clip. I can't go into details but basically it involved a real video of someone being killed. Seriously I don't know why a person would show that to someone. I understandably freaked out initially and was very traumatized. I pretty much got over it, but it still k …
Why Can't I Be Happy?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 18th, 2021
Dear Therapist: I am not a happy person. Is there a way to change that? That is honestly my whole question. I am pretty much fine in every way, I have a good husband, healthy frum kids, a decent job, we have decent parnassah, are part of a nice kehilla, etc.. Yes, I have the stresses of every frum family but nothing major. With all that said I am a pretty moody and cynical person. If I am being fully honest, I always have been …
Looking for Better Relationships
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 18th, 2021
Dear Therapist: Hi! I am a 22-year-old boy and I recently started reading The Couch and I really find it interesting and helpful. I think that even if a question is not directly related to me, I can still learn a lot from the answers. I went through some struggles as a teenager but with awesome parents and rabbeim I got through it, and I am doing really well. I was in a yeshiva in Israel the last two years and just got back to Ame …
My Freeloading Brother
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 18th, 2021
Dear Therapist: My 27-year-old brother has become very stuck in his life and dependent on my sisters and me. He should be fully capable of getting a job, getting married, and moving forward with life. Instead, he has come to completely rely on his siblings for everything.(Our parents are sweet people but older and not so involved.) He sleeps in my sister's basement and eats the meals by us. He will occasionally get a job, but it never lasts …
Waking Up to Anxiety
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 18th, 2021
Dear Therapist: I am someone who has occasionally had trouble with my moods. I have gotten help in the past with anxiety and depression. While I am currently doing really well, I still have a rough time in the morning. I wake up with a lot of anxiety and it takes time for me to get out of bed. Once I get out of bed I generally do ok and have a good day. There are no noticeable "triggers” for me in the morning so there is no obvious reason t …
Suicidal Ideation
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 18th, 2021
Dear Therapist: Something has been bothering me for a while and I finally feel like I need to reach out for advice. I have these thoughts that get stuck in my head and no matter what I do I can't seem to get rid of them. For example, I feel like I might do something dangerous and no matter what I do I can't shake that thought or feeling. I never actually do anything, but I am really worried that one day I might. There are a lot of things that I a …
Camp Anxiety Disclosure
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 18th, 2021
Dear Therapist: I am a teenaged girl, popular, with a lot of personality, if I do say so myself. I’m the kind of girl who is the life of the party, and enjoys making the fun for the group, trying to make sure all are included at the same time. I applied for a staff position at a camp that is very excited to have me but got stuck on the application itself. I have a mild case of anxiety and am prescribed Zoloft. (They asked for addi …
Efficacy of Teletherapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 18th, 2021
Dear Therapist: Some providers are doing much more therapy via teletherapy these days. While it started during the pandemic it still seems to have become more common even after things have opened up. I would appreciate if the panelists can share their perspectives on therapy effectiveness in this mode of communication. What are the pros and cons of Zoom therapy versus in person? Are there specific areas such as attachment styles etc. that are bet …
Abrupt Therapy Termination
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 18th, 2021
Dear Therapist: Hi, I look forward to your column each week because you always have such insightful answers and opinions.
My therapist recently terminated my therapy with her. My psychiatrist as well has abruptly ended my treatment. I was not informed of the reasons as to why they stopped seeing me, and they did not give me closure either. I was wondering if this is a common thing for therapists and doctors to do. I was also wondering if I …
Informal Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 18th, 2021
Dear Therapist: I appreciate the tremendous service you provide to our community both in your practice and by clarifying and explaining so many mental health issues through this column. My daughter (age 13) was recently referred to therapy by her school principal due to concerns about her behavior. She insists my daughter must go in order to remain in school. My daughter is refusing to go. I am wondering if I can ask a therapist to meet my daught …
Teenage Smoking and Confidentiality
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 18th, 2021
Dear Therapist: Our 14-year-old son has been seeing a therapist for a few months on the advice of his yeshiva. Recently my husband discovered that he has started smoking. It was disappointing and confusing to us that our son told us that his therapist has known for a while that he was smoking. I am very disappointed that the therapist didn't deem this information important enough to share with us, his parents. I would like to hear your option on …
Get Angry with Me!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 18th, 2021
Dear Therapist: As someone who has recently began mentoring struggling teens, I had a question that I hope you can shed light on. There is one very angry kid who comes from a difficult background, and he is not only tough in how he talks to others but also gets angry if someone talks to him in a nice and calm way. It is surprising that the kid seems to react better when someone talks down to him and is very direct, over someone who talks to him n …
Preventative Mental Healthcare
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 18th, 2021
Dear Therapist: I am an avid reader of this column and have found it very informative. I think it is interesting that so many of the questions are focused on disorders. People are asking what to do when they are struggling with a mental health issue. In general, I find that people do not think of "mental health" until something goes wrong. I imagine that just as with physical health there are things one can do to stay in shape and keep healthy to …
Stress and Insomnia
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 18th, 2021
Dear Therapist: I am 43 years old and consider myself a healthy person Baruch HaShem. Recently I began having trouble sleeping. Sometimes falling asleep, but also waking up in middle of the night and not being able to fall back asleep. My doctor said there is nothing wrong with me physically and it is stress related. We have indeed been having some difficulty with our teenage daughter recently. At this point I am winding up tired throughout the d …
Adult ADHD
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 18th, 2021
Dear Therapist: My primary care physician recently told my husband that he thinks he has ADHD. My husband never had that diagnosis as a child, though I am not sure that means anything because he had a lot of different issues going on as a kid and that may have slipped through the cracks. Baruch Hashem he is doing fine now but has had trouble staying on track, specifically in work related areas. The doctor would like to prescribe him medication, b …
Single-Area vs. Multiple-Area Issues
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2022
Dear Therapist: I am writing in regard to some of the questions that have come up in the column recently as to when there is an indication of a mental health issue for a bochur or child. I once heard that a good measure of evaluation is if the problem is happening across the board at home, school and camp that would be a sign that professional intervention is needed. If the child is fine at home and elsewhere and only having a problem in yes …
Does Our Marriage Counselor Care?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2022
Dear Therapist: My spouse and I went for marriage counseling for a while for some issues with someone who seemed to be a very competent therapist. The therapist seemed to understand how to breakdown the issues and attempt to work on resolutions. However, some things didn't seem to be adding up right. For example, the therapist left off a few sessions at some very crucial points, leaving us feeling very vulnerable and with a lot of raw emotions ex …
Adults with ADHD
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2022
Dear Therapist: Is it possible for someone who never had ADHD to get it for the first time as an adult? I have recently started having trouble just staying focused on work as well as paying attention during shuirim and concentrating in davening. I have never had this issue before and was an excellent student all through yeshiva. My chavrusah actually recently made an offhand comment about how "ADD" I am and it really got …
Death and Betrayal
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2022
Dear Therapist: There was someone close to my family who died last year. She was someone I was close with and trusted and did something that hurt me terribly. This is not the forum to go into details, but this was a tremendous avlah and I don’t think anyone would disagree. Since this happened shortly before she was niftar and I didn’t really have the full understanding of what she did until after she was already go …
When an Educator Should Refer to Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2022
Dear Therapist: I would like to thank you for this insightful column that so many gain from weekly. As a mesivta rebbe I occasionally need to send a bochur to therapy when I feel that his struggles may be mental health related and baruch Hashem I have generally had good experiences. There is a question that comes up that I would like to hear your opinion on. When are a bochur’s struggles or lack of motivation in le …
Work on Anxiety or Go to Israel?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2022
Dear Therapist: Our son recently acknowledged that he has been experiencing extreme anxiety over the last 6-8 months. This has been something that his menahel had been concerned about and mentioned to him, but he denied anything was wrong. I think that finally it got so bad that he couldn’t push it away anymore and he is coming to us for help. The issue is he is supposed to go to learn in Eretz Yisroel next zman along wi …
Are Millenials Suppressing Their Emotions?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2022
Dear Therapist: There are many emotions that come up this time of year. There are some like simcha, gratitude, and devekus that are wonderful to experience. I see from my children who are “millennials” that they are fine with that. However, they seem to be rejecting or suppressing some of the more uncomfortable emotions that can come up like anxiety, guilt, and regret. It got me thinking about how psychologically speaking ar …
Premarital Counseling
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2022
Dear Therapist: Our son recently got engaged B"H. He doing very well but is one of those kids who "took the scenic route." He had struggles with yiddishkeit and in yeshiva over the years. He told us that his rebbi recommended that he and his kallah go to a marriage therapist while they are engaged to work on their relationship. This frightened my husband and me. If they are already having issues maybe this isn't the right match? We were …
Somatic Anxiety
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2022
Dear Therapist: Our 10-year-old daughter has been complaining of headaches and stomachaches. This seems to happen whenever something is going on in her life, particularly when there are changes such as school starting, camp, and around yom tov time when there is a change in schedule. We discussed it with her pediatrician who said there is nothing medical going on. She suggested that we begin by having a conversation with her about what it m …
Bad Therapist
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2022
Dear Therapist: We recently went through a terrible experience with a licensed therapist that a family member used. It was not a subjective mismatch; the clinician lacked professionalism and training, and other professionals and rabbanim involved in the situation were distraught to hear about the techniques he used and the ensuing damage it created. We have switched clinicians and are now going through the process of undoing and re-learning, but …
The Placebo Effect
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2022
Dear Therapist: My 30-year-old daughter had suffered from anxiety for a long time. After a course of psychotherapy was not successful, she began seeing a psychiatrist and started taking an anti-depressant (which is also supposed to help for anxiety). This was very life enhancing for her and she has really thrived since then. Recently she says that new research has shown that antidepressants really don’t work, and it is all a “placebo& …
Faith and Depression
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2022
Dear Therapist: I was living a happy and fulfilling life as a busy wife and mom when out of nowhere darkness descended. I was diagnosed with clinical depression requiring medication. I’m in the midst of professional treatment and still struggling each day. My normally happy and meaningful avodas Hashem came to a sudden halt leaving me lost and confused.
My question is what is one afflicted with mental illness to do? The very to …
I've Never Made a Decision
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2022
Dear Therapist: Over the last few years, I have begun to realize that much of what I have done in life I did because other people told me to. I feel like I have never really made my decisions in life. The schools I went to, the career I chose, and even my marriage are all things that I asked others for advice and followed it. As I have realized this, I have become more and more confused as to what I really want and have started doubting everythin …
Adult Identity Confusion
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2022
Dear Therapist: I am in my 30s, and BH I'm a busy mother. However, I constantly have dreams that I am in high school. The dreams are not at all disturbing, they are just filled with the day-to-day life of a high schooler (tests, lessons, etc.). This is very puzzling to me, as I am double the age I was then, and I'm at a completely different stage of life. Additionally, I always feel that I am "faking it" being an adult, and I feel overwhelmed by …
Generational Resilience
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2022
Dear Therapist: I'm in my low thirties and my oldest children are now in their early teens. Due to increased awareness and education, my friends and I focus on parenting with more positivity, empathy, validation, communication, and emotional awareness than the previous generation. Our parents expected more from us than we expect from our children, and we usually had to do what was right even if we didn't feel like it. Recently, I'm noticing a dis …
Therapist Advice and Fallibility
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2022
Dear Therapist: Here is a question I've been troubled by for a while. Many times, people will send their kid or spouse to therapy, but the kid or spouse is somewhat in denial or confused. They may see reality in a twisted way or be somewhat lying to themself or only see their side of the picture due to their emotional/mental health issue. When they sit and talk to the therapist, they are only giving over that twisted picture o …
Telling Someone They Need Help
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2022
Dear Therapist: I am a bocher who has a lot of friends in shidduchim and one of my best friends is about to start. Now this friend went through a very rough childhood and his father was very abusive physically, emotionally, and spiritually. His parents never really got along and they went to family therapy. Now from what I see that wasn't enough and I think there is a lot more he needs to work on before ent …
Camp or Therapy?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2022
Dear Therapist: Our 12-year-old was referred to therapy by her school for some behavioral and social issues. Nothing too severe but the school thought it would be beneficial for her to gain some skills before going into next year. After a while we finally got into the therapist we were suggested but now we are coming up on camp season. She and her friends are all supposed to go to camp for a big part of the summer but that would mean either delay …
Career Counseling
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 17th, 2017
Dear Therapist: The time has come in my life for me to make a parnassah to support my family. I am having a difficult time choosing what career path I would like to take and what field I want to get involved in. I am generally not a person who has a hard time making up his mind but I can’t seem to settle on something that I think I would be good at and interested in. Someone mentioned that therapists are trained in career counseling so I th …
Rambunctious Boys
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 16th, 2018
Dear Therapist: We are parents of 4 lovely boys BH. The house is very "rough and tumble" and while the boys often play very well together they also get physical with each other. We are having trouble figuring out when to intervene and when to let it go. We feel that on the one hand they need to learn to work it out among themselves; on the other hand at some point we need to intervene. Can you please give us some guidelines in raising rambunctiou …
How to Lose Friends and Discourage People
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 8th, 2024
Dear Therapist: I am a parent of a 9th grade girl in a large mainstream high school. She is trying to find her footing in a long lasting friendship and is starting to get to know a few girls. But because she is a very friendly girl, she is nice to the girls who aren't as socially gifted. The problem with this is when her friendliness gets in the way of spreading her wings, since these girls cling to her in an unhealthy way. While she doesn't …
The Doctor Will NOT See You Now
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 8th, 2024
Dear Therapist: My spouse has the interesting issue where he just refuses to go to the doctor for a well checkup. He is pushing 45 and probably hasn't been by a doctor in 15 years. When he is sick etc. he will go to an urgent care or a PA and take care of it, but that is pretty much it. He claims he is healthy and doctors just find issues. He seems ok but at this point I wonder if he is just nervous and so he is avoiding it. Do you have any sugge …
Why Do We Need Things?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 8th, 2024
Dear Therapist: I have been pushing off writing this, which maybe is part of the problem, but I feel like at this point I really need to. A few years ago, my husband was making a very nice living which caused us to raise our standards of living significantly. Now unfortunately, like I imagine many others are, we are feeling the crunch of the economy. Baruch Hashem, we have what we need but we can no longer afford to spend like we used to. We …
Do You Know Who You Are?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 8th, 2024
Dear Therapist: I was recently asked by a shadchan to write a detailed description of myself and I was surprised at how stuck I got. It was very hard for me to write about what's important to me, what my personality is like, and what I truly value, in a way that is anything other than cliche. I started thinking that there is something wrong with me that I can't do this. I think part of this is because there is a big difference between w …
My Father Won't Let Me See a Therapist
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 3rd, 2017
Dear Therapist: I am a 12th grader in what is considered a very chosuva mesivta. There are some things that I would like to discuss with someone. They cause me a lot of worry but I do not feel comfortable discussing this with a rebbe or mashgiach in yeshiva. I think that maybe a therapist would be the right type of person to discuss this with. The issue is that my father doesn't hold of therapy. I am not sure how to bring this up with him and I d …
My Son Is Overbearing
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 26th, 2022
Dear Therapist: ​Our 20-year-old son recently returned home from a year learning in Israel. He is boy who struggled a lot in his teens both academically and religiously. Baruch Hashem, he seems to have had an excellent year of growth, he likes his rabbeim and has learned a lot about being a mentsch, though he still has a way to go. He is very proud of his year and some new concepts and ideas he has learned. The yeshiva has an emphasis on emotio …
OCD or Kefira
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 26th, 2022
Dear Therapist: ​My daughter has always been an all-around healthy 17-year-old . She does tend to have anxiety but it’s always been kept in check. Lately though she’s become a shell of herself. She’s had trouble eating and sleeping and is not herself. We’ve tried very hard to get to the root cause of her distress. Finally she confided that she’s been having intrusive thoughts of kefira type themes. She’s horr …
I'm Socially Awkward...Or Am I?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 24th, 2017
Dear Therapist: I know someone who has a sibling who is in his early 20's and is holding down a job. However, he is socially awkward and can really benefit from therapy. However, this person will get highly insulted after being told this and may resent the person who told him. How can he be told (by a relative or professional) that his behavior calls for therapy? Can it be said straight out? If so, how should it be done? On the other hand, is fin …
Anxiety and Faith
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 23rd, 2024
Dear Therapist: My daughter is in seminary this year and it's the first time she's dormed a full year with other girls. She mentioned to me that one of her roommates seems very socially anxious & has a hard time making friends & being sociable. My daughter tries to include her but she often withdraws because of her social anxiety. She suggested to this girl that she speak to someone about her struggles & she keeps responding that she …
Diagnosis and Labelling
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 20th, 2024
Dear Therapist: Can you please share your thoughts on the phenomenon that I am noticing (not common baruch Hashem, but it happens) where people disparage others by "diagnosing" them with a mental illness. Thus, people who are rigid are called "OCD," those who are a bit different are "apspergy" and those who are jumpier are "ADD." More disturbing to me is that I have noticed the word "narcissist" being thrown around quiet casually. Unfortunat …
Social Anxiety at Work...at Work
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 19th, 2021
Dear Therapist: After multiple failures at work, I finally realize that my feelings of being intimidated by people and being anxious to speak my mind has been something that has gotten in my way all of my life. I wind up staying in my corner and not engaging or communicating with the people I am supposed to. The issue is that someone presented me with a great job opportunity which I accepted and will start next week. I really don't want to b …
Childhood OCD Treatment and Disclosure
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 19th, 2021
Dear Therapist: About a year ago, our 9-year-old daughter started to engage in compulsive rituals. She would have 1 specific ritual (such as checking that her heart was still beating) for a few weeks and then switch to a different ritual. Right now, her specific ritual is sniffing is an unusual way. This was/is not interfering with her performance at school or home, and she seemed happy overall, but we decided to take her to a p …
Is ADHD Necessarily a Problem?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 19th, 2021
Dear Therapist: My primary care physician recently told my husband that he thinks he has ADHD. My husband never had that diagnosis as a child, though I am not sure that means anything because he had a lot of different issues going on as a kid and that may have slipped through the cracks. Baruch Hashem he is doing fine now but has had trouble staying on track, specifically in work related areas. The doctor would like to prescribe him med …
My Friend Needs Therapy...I Think
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 19th, 2021
Dear Therapist: I recently read an article describing different people who should be seeing a therapist. I have a good friend whom I feel matches the description in the article. The more I think about it the more I honestly think he could benefit from seeing one. The problem is being a 21-year-old and being told by your close friend that you should be seeing a therapist isn't the most pleasant experience. How as a friend am I able to convey over …
Why Doesn't My Daughter Want to go to Camp?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 19th, 2021
Dear Therapist: My 13-year-old daughter is an intense child. She puts a lot of pressure of herself academically and school is a big deal for her. All of her friends are going to (overnight) camp this summer and initially she had us register her as well. She is now insisting that she wants to stay home for the summer and "relax." She says she works hard all year, and she just wants a chance to have nothing to do. It is interesting that it doe …
Mental Health and Dating
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 19th, 2021
Dear Therapist: I recently went out with a boy who disclosed on the 3rd date that he was seeing a therapist for depression. He said he had struggled on an off with depression since he was a teen and had sometimes taken medication for it. It turned out that the shidduch didn’t work out for other reasons, but I was really confused as to how to deal with that information. I liked him and he seemed like a perfectly normal boy, wh …
Does Teenage Grieving Require Therapy?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 19th, 2021
Dear Therapist: My daughter was encouraged by her principal to see a therapist. She has been misbehaving in school recently, nothing serious really, but the principal suggested it. She has gone through a lot as my wife was niftar 4 years ago, though she says she is fine and doesn't really seem different than the other girls in her class. They are all a tough bunch. I mean she is a teenage girl so who can really tell what sta …
My Paranoid Sister
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 18th, 2018
Dear Therapist: My sister has always thought that everyone was out to get her. She is extremely insecure and very sensitive. Now her paranoia has increased to the point where she is in a fight with everyone in her family. She is furious at me because she thinks I didn’t try hard enough to get her kids into high school. She thinks my husband ruined her kids’ shidduchim. She thinks my brothers are trying to push her husband out of the f …