NEFESH International Publications and Information
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Dear Brave One
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Dear Brave One, Before you come to your first appointment, I think it’s only fair that I share with you how stepping foot into my office could potentially impact you for the rest of your life. There will be some real consequences to borrowing the name of “client.” And I know you’re not thinking about that now. You just want to feel better. But it’s only right that I be transparent about …
Dear Brave One
Author:
Dear Brave One, Before you come to your first appointment, I think it’s only fair that I share with you how stepping foot into my office could potentially impact you for the rest of your life. There will be some real consequences to borrowing the name of “client.” And I know you’re not thinking about that now. You just want to feel better. But it’s only right that I be transparent about …
Couples Counseling in a Pasuk
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
The Recent daf Yomi, daily Talmud reading, (Yoma 23) discusses the prohibition of revenge and grudge bearing: What is revenge and what is bearing a grudge? Revenge is illustrated by the following example: One said to his fellow: “Lend me your sickle”, and he said: “No”. The next day he, the one who had refused to lend the sickle, said to the other person: “Lend me your ax.” If he said to him: “I …
Scared
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Is your child a real scaredy cat? With every noise your house makes, he reacts by crying, hiding under his bed or in the closet. He won’t go into the swimming pool or to a friend’s house. Climbing in the park or going on rides at amusement parks – don’t even think about it! So, how do we help him become brave? We want him to face new things, to trust himself to handle different experiences, and to use his body …
Debunking the Soul Partner Myth
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My interest in this topic dates back to 2001 when the renowned National Marriage Project published its study of 1003 married and single young adults titled, “Who Wants to Marry A Soulmate?” Three findings were enlightening: Ninety-four percent of never-married singles agree that when you marry, you want your spouse to be your soulmate - first and foremost. Secondly, eighty-two percent of young adults agree that it is unwise for a woma …
The Mean Girls
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It’s not just in the movies: The mean girls phenomenon is real and very much a subject of discussion today among professionals and parents alike. Unlike the boys who may be openly – and even physically – aggressive, mean girls use their words. They typically operate under the radar, far from adult view. And, no matter how many complaints there are from the other students, the mean girls continue to exclude, mock and/or tease, an …
How and why community safety matters
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Dear Readers Welcome to the August edition of Mind Body & Soul, themed Safe families; safe communities. In this issue we consider the various opportunities that present themselves, to create safety within ourselves, our families and our communities. In particular, Menachem Hojda advises the larger community how to aim for security, especially when some of its members are at risk. Chana Mark guides individuals toward …
A Glance at Integrative Mental Health at Hope Street
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The pressure is on:
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In today’s fast paced modern world, the experience of life is assaulted upon by a relentless barrage of stress and pressure. Mommy is rushing to get everyone out of the house. Mommy and daddy are getting ready for work and I am hurriedly escorted out of my home onto the school bus. I arrive at school and spend the next seven to eight hours jumping from one subject to another. I have to keep my finger on the place and I am expected to …
Introduction: November 2014
Author: Lisa Twerski, LCSW
2014-11-25 00:00:00
In contemplating the theme of this issue of Mind Body & Soul, so many possibilities of what it might mean to “face one’s fears” come to mind, both in the general context of life, and specifically, in the context of mental health and mental illness. Our own individual circumstances are the not the only times we find ourselves facing our fears, or trying to avoid doing so. As a community, there are times when we must act colle …
Facing Our Fears
Author: Shimmy Feintuch, LMSW
2014-11-25 00:00:00
What is fear? Is it a monster under your bed, or in the closet? Is it wide eyes, thumping heart, panicked breathing? Is it dangling off a cliff by your fingertips? Fear is all those things, and more. Fear, at its essence, is actually a good thing. Our bodies let us know when we are in a dangerous situation, so we can act accordingly. Do you have an aversion to standing near the subway platform edge? Do you tend to walk faster through a rough neig …
Reward and Punishment when Raising Children – A Second Look
Author: Chana Mark, LCSW
2014-11-25 00:00:00
Many parents use a system of rewards and punishments to help change children’s behavior. This idea has come down to us from behavioral psychology as part of what is known as “operant conditioning.” This phrase is simply the following: Reinforcement means increasing the frequency or duration of desirable behavior. “If you go to bed on time for the whole week, I will give you a prize at the end of the week.” Pun …
FEAR: Controlling the Wide Spectrum of Moods and Feelings
Author: Marlene Greenspan, MA, LPC
2014-11-25 00:00:00
From anxiety to trauma, fear is a feeling of many colors. Colors and musical notes have a certain resonance or intensity that may vary with the emotion the artist wants to evoke. Feelings are emotions and also have stronger or weaker intensities, depending on the way a person is expressing those feelings inwardly or outwardly. Fear may begin with a mild feeling of worry or concern about someone or something that can escalate to the vibrancy of pa …
Coping Successfully with Stress
Author: Chana Simmonds, MSW, LCSW
2014-11-25 00:00:00
In the 12th century, the Rambam (Moshe ben Maimon, Maimonides), addressed the interconnection of the mind, body and spirit. He recognized that an ill person's thoughts and beliefs affected both his emotional state and physical experience. He did not believe in amulets, and yet, he wrote in his Laws of the Sabbath that a patient who believed that charms or talisman were healing should be allowed to wear them, even on Shabbat, because it mig …
Parenting Your Anxious Child
Author: Rachel Factor, MSW
2014-11-25 00:00:00
You have your sweet, intelligent, imaginative and creative child. A child who has clearly been blessed with endless potential and depth, a child that can blow your mind away with the most interesting questions you’ve ever been asked (which you only wished you could answer). The problem, or better said, the challenge, is that your child also has anxiety. You see, it’s part of this package deal. But there is good news; anxiety re …
Finding Humor in Everyday Situations
Author: Joel Verstaendig, PhD
2014-11-25 00:00:00
"A merry heart is a good medicine and a broken spirit dries the bones.” (Proverbs: Chapter 17, Verse 22) The health benefits of humor and a good laugh have long been hypothesized, and recent research has substantiated these assumptions. Norman Cousins, who researched the biochemistry of emotions, was diagnosed with a debilitating and painful illness late in life. In his best-selling book, Anatomy of an Illness, he related how ten min …
Bridging the Gap Between You and Your Teen
Author: Sara Teichman, Psy.D.
2014-11-25 00:00:00
Are you the cool mom? The mom who is young in attitude, spirit, and dress? Can you be mistaken for your teenager’s sister? Have you succumbed to the allure of Forever 21 or are you striving to win points in your teen’s eyes? Well, here’s the thing. Despite well-intentioned efforts to keep up with the times, many a daughter still sees her mom as irrelevant. Being young at heart, it seems, does not bridge the generation gap …
NEFESH INTERNATIONAL 18th Annual Conference
Author: Yeta Solomon, LCSW
2014-11-25 00:00:00
What does a highly successful, international mental health organization do after it has attracted many hundreds of members worldwide, and coordinated 17 outstanding conferences? It does what NEFESH International is about to do. It does it again, of course. NEFESH is proud and very excited to announce the Eighteenth Annual Conference to take place on Sunday and Monday, December 28th and 29th, 2014, at the Hyatt Regency in Hauppauge, New Yor …
How to Choose a Career that is Best for You
Author: Tzvi Pirutinsky, Ph.D.
2014-11-25 00:00:00
How to Choose a Career that is Best for You By Tzvi Pirutinsky, Ph.D. Choosing the right career can be a difficult and anxiety-provoking process. Will I enjoy it? Will I be good at it? Will it provide an adequate livelihood? Will my family support this choice? On the other hand, it is also an opportunity to actively explore and discover more about yourself and the world, so picking the right career can be exciting, informative, and even fun.
Do You Need a Marriage Therapist?
Author: Ovadia Trepp, MSW, LCSW
2014-11-25 00:00:00
For the purpose of this article, we will be discussing two distinct types of problems that impact marriages, namely, couple problems and individual problems. We will also be talking about two types (or modalities) of therapy: marital and individual. Like the handyman who needs to know the details of a job before choosing the appropriate set of tools, it is helpful to identify the type of issue you are experiencing before choosing one type of ther …
Transcending Adversity
Author: Harriet Cabelly, LCSW
2014-11-25 00:00:00
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” – Viktor Frankl Throughout life, people transcend their adversities in different ways; some people can go through a lot and be able to rise above and live well, and some people simply succumb to their circumstances. Th …
Introduction February 2015
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2015-03-01 00:00:00
Today, a frum person has so many options to choose from about the kinds of mental health services he or she needs. When once there were only a few providers, today there are more and more frum professionals training in psychiatry, psychology, social work, nursing, coaching and pastoral counseling. In addition, specialty fields such as trauma, sex abuse, addiction, marriage counseling, sex therapy, CBT, DBT and many others have grown, and Jewish m …
Victim of Abuse or Just a Bad Marriage?
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2015-03-01 00:00:00
Lisa Twerski, LCSW Differentiating Between Dysfunction, Disorders and Domestic Abuse When people feel abused in their marriage, it can be very confusing to try and determine if the cause is a dysfunctional relationship that may have some abusive features, a spouse with a mental illness, or domestic abuse. In fact, some of the abusive ways one may be treated by their spouse may be similar from situation to situation; what determines which type of …
Overview of Addictions
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2015-03-01 00:00:00
Rabbi Dr. Abraham J. Twerski We know that people may become addicted to alcohol or drugs. There are a number of other common addictions: cigarettes, food, gambling, sex, shopping, the internet. Although addiction cannot be precisely defined, we may say that anytime a person loses control over a behavior that he wishes to control (or should wish to control), that is addiction. We do not know what causes addiction.In addition to psychological/emoti …
Mussar or Marriage Counseling?
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2015-03-01 00:00:00
Chaya Feuerman LCSW-R Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R The frustrations people experience in marriage are actually opportunities. According to Chazal, when Man was first created, he was a double being, with two faces and two sides. One side was male and the other was female (Rashi, Bereishis 1:27). This suggests that a human being is not complete unless he or she has successfully integrated both the male and female aspects of his or her perso …
Getting the Help You Need: Who Can Provide Treatment?
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2015-03-01 00:00:00
Hindie M. Klein, PsyD Beginning psychotherapy can be very liberating. It is often the first step in a therapeutic process that hopefully ends with a decrease in disturbing symptoms, improved relationships and a restored sense of well-being. Getting to that first step takes strength and courage. It requires recognition that there are vulnerabilities, problems, and challenges. It requires a true desire for change. A frequent question may ari …
Depression or Ordinary Sadness?
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2015-03-01 00:00:00
Pamela P. Siller, MD All of us know what sadness feels like. Some may feel disappointment with a less-than-perfect grade in school. Others get upset after an argument with a spouse. Many of us have cried after a loss, whether a death, argument, or even a geographic relocation. Sadness is expressed differently by each of us, as we are individuals. Yelling, crying, and irritability are the most common reactions to loss or unhappiness, but so …
Understanding Assessments
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2015-03-01 00:00:00
Dr. Judith Guedalia, PhD As a parent, teacher or mental health professional, we have surely, at one point or another, been bombarded with referrals to do testing or assessments. “Testing” may refer to every area in our anatomy and psyche. Some are physically intrusive, and others emotionally so. Most are expensive in time and money. What is the purpose for, and what exactly are, assessments? When a child or adult is referred fo …
Anxious? Or Just Jewish?
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2015-03-01 00:00:00
Shimmy Feintuch, LMSW Being Jewish would make even a Buddhist monk anxious. There are so many laws and rituals that are part of our daily lives. Did you eat enough matzah? Is it time for davening yet? Or worse, is it too late? Did you say the words just right, or was it slightly off? Better say it again, then. Young children learn particular laws, such as those regarding hand washing, early, to form routines that will last a lifetime. But …
All Care is Not Equal: The Advantage of Treatment by a Psychiatrist
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2015-03-01 00:00:00
Shalom Feinberg, MD But they are both MD’s… Moshe hasn’t been feeling well for months. He has a growing list of medical complaints and worries. His family doctor examines him and finds no illness to explain his symptoms. Moshe is no longer able to help his wife Leah with their children as he withdraws into bed whenever he is at home. With the help of a credible referral agency, Leah finds a competent psychiatrist nearby and cal …
Can't vs. Won't
Author: Dr. Sara Teichman
2015-05-29 00:00:00
Do you ever wonder about your children: they can’t orthey won’t? Are your children unable, or are they unwilling to meet your expectations? Are they deliberately sabotaging your Shabbos meal, or are they not ready to handle the challenge of a lengthy and structured seudah? The “can’t vs. won’t” conundrum comes up frequently in child rearing. There is a tremendous difference between the child who can’t do …
Bonding with Our Children
Author: Chaya Drucker
2015-05-29 00:00:00
Since my own childhood, I have had a passion for positive parenting, for which I credit my mother, of blessed memory. Perhaps because she lost her own mother at the tender age of five, she did not take being a mother for granted and consciously devoted herself to growing as a parent, by reading and attending lectures. As a little girl, I would lie on my mother’s bed, poring over the parenting manuals of that era. When I was older, she invit …
Black and Beautiful
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2015-05-29 00:00:00
I’m washing my hands mindlessly when I look into the mirror. Just out of habit. To stare at that annoying pimple, I guess, or search for blackheads that keep popping up. Something makes me stop. And stare. There is something… so symmetrical. I stare, and it is true. It takes my breath away. That skin is marred by pimples, it is true. Malnourishment and not washing enough and fluctuating body temperature does that. That hair is messy …
The Power of Dreams
Author: Marlene Greenspan, MA, LPC
2015-05-31 00:00:00
Dreams come to us in different waves of experience. In the days of old, cavemen and women left pictures of dream fantasies; Shakespeare talked about his characters’ portrayal of dreams in a number of his plays. Today’s scientists have noted that individuals have different periods of dreaming in their sleep cycles, some of which are remembered while others are forgotten. Dreaming can refer to hopes that individuals have for their futur …
The Cell Phone Parent
Author: Michael J. Salamon, Ph.D., FICPP
2015-05-31 00:00:00
An earlier version of this article appeared on the Times of Israel. When parents ask me directly at what age they should get their children a cell phone, I generally do not answer. Despite the specificity of the question and regardless of what I say, parents make their own decisions, and these decisions usually fall into reasonably well-defined categories. Overprotective parents justify purchasing cell phones for their children while they are st …
Tall Guys Don’t Jump
Author: Shimmy Feintuch, LMSW
2015-05-31 00:00:00
No disrespect to sports fans, but sports discussions are not known for their wealth of theoretic wisdom. Certainly, sports are great fun, and the pull of professional sports has even the attention of the Wall Street Journal. Articles on sports are full of analysis and postgame hindsight, but rarely philosophical insight.
And so it was to my great surprise that an innocuous conversation about basketball turned up a philosophical gem. A child …
Mothers and Daughters: Open Communication
Author: Sarah Lewis-Levy, PhD
2015-05-31 00:00:00
In my generation, many girls found out–not from their mothers, but from talking to friends–about what to anticipate when their body changes. In the backs of buses, during private moments with friends, whispers, giggles, sleepovers, sleep-away camp–that’s where much of the education still takes place today. As Jewish mothers, don’t we want to be the one to impart the joy and holiness of our femininity to our daughters …
Sparks of Light
Author: Shaindy Urman
2015-05-31 00:00:00
You should hear the stories. My G-d, if only you heard some of the stories. The mother who punched her small child in the chest. The father who threw his daughter down a flight of stairs. The man who has nightmares, decades later, about the counselor in camp who violated him. Women who are afraid the moment their husband comes home from work. Newborn babies in intensive care, detoxing from their mother’s drug use. Toddlers left home alone f …
Does Alan Turing have Asperger’s Syndrome?
Author: Sarah Kahan, LCSW
2015-05-31 00:00:00
The recent release of the movie “The Imitation Game” is about the life of Alan Turing, who lived from 1912-1954. He was a British computer scientist, mathematician, logician, cryptanalyst, philosopher, mathematical biologist, and marathon and ultra distance runner. He was highly influential in the development of computer science, providing a formalization of the concepts of "algorithm" and "computation" with the Turing machine, which …
Teenagers: Mission Impossible
Author: Alexander Rand, LCSW-R CASAC
2015-08-26 00:00:00
Raising teenagers in 2015 requires education, skill, luck, practice, and of course, prayer and God. Even with all that, it’s still not enough. We need more prayer and more God, and if you’ve ever raised a teenager, you’ll understand exactly why. Adolescence is a time when a child naturally starts to experiment with rules, challenging authority, and beginning to form his/her own identity. While that can be terrifying for parents, …