
NEFESH International Publications and Information
Subscribe to this blog to get the latest updates emailed to you
Subscription complete
Showing Results 160 - 200 (251 total)
How to be Part of the Solution
Author: Dr. Yaakov Siegel
May 25th, 2016
Lately, behavioral addiction has been in the forefront of the psychology world, and with good reason. Behavioral addiction covers a wide range of behaviors that can be devastating to marriages and to other relationships. When this occurs, otherwise functional people find themselves repeatedly engaging in unsafe behaviors to their own detriment. Oftentimes, they seem to be fully aware of the consequences, yet continue to return to the same old beh …
After Mother’s Day: Musings on Bereaved Mothers
Author: Dvora Entin, LCSW
May 25th, 2016
Historically, Mother’s Day involved a mother, her mother, and maybe her grandmother as well. Today, with Facebook, social media, and a multitude of blogs, Mother’s Day exposes us to everyone else’s mother-child relationships. We scroll through our newsfeeds and see photo after photo of mothers and their kids, as well as adult children celebrating their older moms. As a therapist with my heart immersed in the world of those who h …
Introduction May 2016
Author: Lisa Twerski, LCSW
May 25th, 2016
It’s that time of year again. Spring is in the air, summer is soon to follow. Everyone is out more, enjoying the nice weather. Children are playing ball, riding bikes, and maybe opting out of the stuffy school bus and walking home with their friends instead. Time to talk about safety. Have you made sure your children wear a helmet when they ride their bike? Check. Talked to them about not darting out into the street after a runaway ball? Ch …
Can't vs. Won't
Author: Dr. Sara Teichman
May 29th, 2015
Do you ever wonder about your children: they can’t orthey won’t? Are your children unable, or are they unwilling to meet your expectations? Are they deliberately sabotaging your Shabbos meal, or are they not ready to handle the challenge of a lengthy and structured seudah? The “can’t vs. won’t” conundrum comes up frequently in child rearing. There is a tremendous difference between the child who can’t do …
Bonding with Our Children
Author: Chaya Drucker
May 29th, 2015
Since my own childhood, I have had a passion for positive parenting, for which I credit my mother, of blessed memory. Perhaps because she lost her own mother at the tender age of five, she did not take being a mother for granted and consciously devoted herself to growing as a parent, by reading and attending lectures. As a little girl, I would lie on my mother’s bed, poring over the parenting manuals of that era. When I was older, she invit …
Black and Beautiful
Author:
May 29th, 2015
I’m washing my hands mindlessly when I look into the mirror. Just out of habit. To stare at that annoying pimple, I guess, or search for blackheads that keep popping up. Something makes me stop. And stare. There is something… so symmetrical. I stare, and it is true. It takes my breath away. That skin is marred by pimples, it is true. Malnourishment and not washing enough and fluctuating body temperature does that. That hair is messy …
The Power of Dreams
Author: Marlene Greenspan, MA, LPC
May 31st, 2015
Dreams come to us in different waves of experience. In the days of old, cavemen and women left pictures of dream fantasies; Shakespeare talked about his characters’ portrayal of dreams in a number of his plays. Today’s scientists have noted that individuals have different periods of dreaming in their sleep cycles, some of which are remembered while others are forgotten. Dreaming can refer to hopes that individuals have for their futur …
The Cell Phone Parent
Author: Michael J. Salamon, Ph.D., FICPP
May 31st, 2015
An earlier version of this article appeared on the Times of Israel. When parents ask me directly at what age they should get their children a cell phone, I generally do not answer. Despite the specificity of the question and regardless of what I say, parents make their own decisions, and these decisions usually fall into reasonably well-defined categories. Overprotective parents justify purchasing cell phones for their children while they are st …
Tall Guys Don’t Jump
Author: Shimmy Feintuch, LMSW
May 31st, 2015
No disrespect to sports fans, but sports discussions are not known for their wealth of theoretic wisdom. Certainly, sports are great fun, and the pull of professional sports has even the attention of the Wall Street Journal. Articles on sports are full of analysis and postgame hindsight, but rarely philosophical insight.
And so it was to my great surprise that an innocuous conversation about basketball turned up a philosophical gem. A child …
Mothers and Daughters: Open Communication
Author: Sarah Lewis-Levy, PhD
May 31st, 2015
In my generation, many girls found out–not from their mothers, but from talking to friends–about what to anticipate when their body changes. In the backs of buses, during private moments with friends, whispers, giggles, sleepovers, sleep-away camp–that’s where much of the education still takes place today. As Jewish mothers, don’t we want to be the one to impart the joy and holiness of our femininity to our daughters …
Sparks of Light
Author: Shaindy Urman
May 31st, 2015
You should hear the stories. My G-d, if only you heard some of the stories. The mother who punched her small child in the chest. The father who threw his daughter down a flight of stairs. The man who has nightmares, decades later, about the counselor in camp who violated him. Women who are afraid the moment their husband comes home from work. Newborn babies in intensive care, detoxing from their mother’s drug use. Toddlers left home alone f …
Does Alan Turing have Asperger’s Syndrome?
Author: Sarah Kahan, LCSW
May 31st, 2015
The recent release of the movie “The Imitation Game” is about the life of Alan Turing, who lived from 1912-1954. He was a British computer scientist, mathematician, logician, cryptanalyst, philosopher, mathematical biologist, and marathon and ultra distance runner. He was highly influential in the development of computer science, providing a formalization of the concepts of "algorithm" and "computation" with the Turing machine, which …
Bag of Tricks
Author:
May 31st, 2018
By Sara Teichman, Psy.D. Are your children basically good kids who happen to drive you crazy when they want something? Or, perhaps they are better with your husband and, wouldn’t you know it, angels in school. Let me guess. This is what it sounds like….. Your five-year-old whines and nags until he gets it [Shabbos cereal, a new toy, whatever]. Lots of kids do that, but this is over the top. He can go on all day! And even in public pl …
Health and Healing
Author:
May 31st, 2018
By Pamela Siller MD What is healing? The healing process is individual and varies from person to person. A young child anxiously awaits a Band-Aid for a boo-boo, which magically cures all ails. A school-age child impatiently waits for an invitation to join the “in-crowd,” which is thought to banish loneliness. A physically ill woman hopes for a clear CT scan and a clean bill of health. In healthcare, we speak of response, …
Healing from Sexual Abuse: The Relevance of Religion
Author:
May 31st, 2018
By David H. Rosmarin & Talia Kaplan “Let bygones be bygones” is a fairly common phrase amongst adults. Indeed, it’s a sign of maturity to deal with the stresses of daily life without becoming overly limited or restricted by our past. In many instances, this is a useful approach for example, when arguing with a spouse it is typically helpful to only focus on the issue at hand instead of rehashing old arguments and missteps. S …
I love my child. I can't stand my child! Healing Your Relationship with Your Child
Author:
May 31st, 2018
By Rachel Rosenholtz, LCSW-R There are a lot of parenting books out there. You would think that any parenting issue could be solved by simply following the well charted path as laid out by the professionals in the field. You will have a great relationship with your kid. Homework? Piece of cake. Bedtime? What could be more fun? Yet, the reality is that raising children is an …
HEARING VOICES GROUP A RECOVERY ORIENTED APPROACH TO PSYCHOSIS
Author:
May 31st, 2018
By Leah Rokeach LCSW "You are no good. You are a failure. You won't achieve anything good in your life. You might as well be dead." These are the voices that Jay, who is 38 years old, has been hearing since he was 22 years old. Jay lives at home with his single mom. He started to hear voices after he was let go from his job as a messenger When he started to hear voices, he became very frightened and did not tell anyone. He isolated himself …
Introduction June 2018
Author:
May 31st, 2018
By Rabbi Dr. Yehuda Krohn, Psy. D Let’s try a brief experiment. I’m going to share a word or two with you. As you read the word, I want you to pay attention to any emotions that may arise within you. Then, I want you to rate your experience on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 representing almost no emotion and 10 signaling emotions that are so intense they’re “off the charts.” Ready? Here’s the first wor …
Co-Partners in Healing
Author:
May 31st, 2018
By Marlene Greenspan Healing involves a wide variety of techniques that enable the damaged or injured body to return to its original level of good health and functionality. Traditional medicine includes plants as well as synthetic applications and new technological releases from current research and development. Spiritual healing techniques today include mind and body connections that have been studied scientifically by modern therapists. Many of …
Standing in Silence
Author:
May 31st, 2018
By Dvora Entin, LCSW Several years ago, I had the privilege of accompanying a couple on a very painful path of medical care and difficult choices for their newly delivered child. This family had reached out to rabbonim months before the due date to plan a halachicly guided course of decision making and spent many hours devoted to preparatory palliative care and planning for the many outcomes both expected and unexpected. When that bab …
Introduction December 2016
Author: Lisa Twerski
November 23rd, 2016
When we look at others who are engaging in self-destructive behavior, the easiest way for us to understand what we are looking at is to relate it to our own experience, as we often have more compassion and understanding for ourselves than for the other guy. If I’m judging someone who has lost everything to an addiction, or illegal or illicit behavior, etc., and I’ve never come close to being caught up in anything of that nature &ndash …
Addiction: A Primer for the Perplexed
Author: Shimmy Feintuch, LCSW
November 23rd, 2016
This ice cream is addictive! You need to watch this new show on Netflix. I’m addicted to it! The word “addiction” has entered our vernacular in a variety of ways. It gives us a way to earnestly, sometimes humorously, express that we are really into something, or that something is very, very good. I’m addicted to Shimmy Feintuch’s blog, Spiritual Sofa. I can’t stop reading it! But the truth about addiction is m …
If Not ADHD, What Can It Be?
Author: Michael J. Salamon, Ph.D
November 23rd, 2016
Yaakov is 17. He has attended four different high schools before completely dropping out. His parents, not knowing what to do with him, had him visit to several different doctors and therapists over the last five years. All of the doctors diagnosed him with an Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). For many years, he willingly tried several different medications and combinations for the disorder in two different classes of drugs, and al …
Lowering the Temperature
Author: Sara Teichman, PsyD
November 23rd, 2016
When you look into your children’s eyes, do you sometimes shudder to think of the parent you have become? Here’s what I mean: You wake up every morning with the best of intentions, determined to keep your cool and be positive with your children. But, like failed dieting, your resolve melts sooner or later in the day, when a child spills a drink, or you are late again, or there is just too much stuff for one set of parents to deal with …
The Effects of Teasing
Author: Marlene Greenspan, MA, LPC
November 23rd, 2016
Teasing has many faces. It can be used to make jokes, it can be used to play tricks, or it can be used to hurt someone as offense or defense, to suggest a few applications. When children do it to each other, teasing can lead to bullying. In fact, teasing is really steps away from bullying, if the behavior continues and if it is becoming hurtful. When adults tease children who do not know how to respond, teasing can be very detrimental. When a chi …
Understanding Self-Injury From Our Patients
Author: Pamela P. Siller, MD
November 23rd, 2016
As an intern and psychiatric resident, I was presented with a myriad of psychiatric symptoms, with varying degrees of severity. The patients, as well as their disorders, came alive for me the more time I spent with them and the more my empathy grew. To better treat my patients, I needed to understand their points of view, and I tried to see the world through their eyes. Depression and anxiety were easy to relate to, as we all have felt sad …
When Siblings Fight
Author: Sara Schapiro-Halberstam, MHC-LP, CASAC
November 23rd, 2016
When we watch our own children tumbling on the floor, grabbing toys from one another, shouting, screaming, and crying, we put our hands to our head and mumble: “Oh no, when will this ever end?” Children will tell you the facts of the fight, “he touched my stuff so I hit him,” and so forth, but what is the psychological cause of sibling rivalry and competition? From an evolutionary perspective, there is a biological …
Introduction: November 2014
Author: Lisa Twerski, LCSW
November 25th, 2014
In contemplating the theme of this issue of Mind Body & Soul, so many possibilities of what it might mean to “face one’s fears” come to mind, both in the general context of life, and specifically, in the context of mental health and mental illness. Our own individual circumstances are the not the only times we find ourselves facing our fears, or trying to avoid doing so. As a community, there are times when we must act colle …
Facing Our Fears
Author: Shimmy Feintuch, LMSW
November 25th, 2014
What is fear? Is it a monster under your bed, or in the closet? Is it wide eyes, thumping heart, panicked breathing? Is it dangling off a cliff by your fingertips? Fear is all those things, and more. Fear, at its essence, is actually a good thing. Our bodies let us know when we are in a dangerous situation, so we can act accordingly. Do you have an aversion to standing near the subway platform edge? Do you tend to walk faster through a rough neig …
Reward and Punishment when Raising Children – A Second Look
Author: Chana Mark, LCSW
November 25th, 2014
Many parents use a system of rewards and punishments to help change children’s behavior. This idea has come down to us from behavioral psychology as part of what is known as “operant conditioning.” This phrase is simply the following: Reinforcement means increasing the frequency or duration of desirable behavior. “If you go to bed on time for the whole week, I will give you a prize at the end of the week.” Pun …
FEAR: Controlling the Wide Spectrum of Moods and Feelings
Author: Marlene Greenspan, MA, LPC
November 25th, 2014
From anxiety to trauma, fear is a feeling of many colors. Colors and musical notes have a certain resonance or intensity that may vary with the emotion the artist wants to evoke. Feelings are emotions and also have stronger or weaker intensities, depending on the way a person is expressing those feelings inwardly or outwardly. Fear may begin with a mild feeling of worry or concern about someone or something that can escalate to the vibrancy of pa …
Coping Successfully with Stress
Author: Chana Simmonds, MSW, LCSW
November 25th, 2014
In the 12th century, the Rambam (Moshe ben Maimon, Maimonides), addressed the interconnection of the mind, body and spirit. He recognized that an ill person's thoughts and beliefs affected both his emotional state and physical experience. He did not believe in amulets, and yet, he wrote in his Laws of the Sabbath that a patient who believed that charms or talisman were healing should be allowed to wear them, even on Shabbat, because it mig …
Parenting Your Anxious Child
Author: Rachel Factor, MSW
November 25th, 2014
You have your sweet, intelligent, imaginative and creative child. A child who has clearly been blessed with endless potential and depth, a child that can blow your mind away with the most interesting questions you’ve ever been asked (which you only wished you could answer). The problem, or better said, the challenge, is that your child also has anxiety. You see, it’s part of this package deal. But there is good news; anxiety re …
Finding Humor in Everyday Situations
Author: Joel Verstaendig, PhD
November 25th, 2014
"A merry heart is a good medicine and a broken spirit dries the bones.” (Proverbs: Chapter 17, Verse 22) The health benefits of humor and a good laugh have long been hypothesized, and recent research has substantiated these assumptions. Norman Cousins, who researched the biochemistry of emotions, was diagnosed with a debilitating and painful illness late in life. In his best-selling book, Anatomy of an Illness, he related how ten min …
Bridging the Gap Between You and Your Teen
Author: Sara Teichman, Psy.D.
November 25th, 2014
Are you the cool mom? The mom who is young in attitude, spirit, and dress? Can you be mistaken for your teenager’s sister? Have you succumbed to the allure of Forever 21 or are you striving to win points in your teen’s eyes? Well, here’s the thing. Despite well-intentioned efforts to keep up with the times, many a daughter still sees her mom as irrelevant. Being young at heart, it seems, does not bridge the generation gap …
NEFESH INTERNATIONAL 18th Annual Conference
Author: Yeta Solomon, LCSW
November 25th, 2014
What does a highly successful, international mental health organization do after it has attracted many hundreds of members worldwide, and coordinated 17 outstanding conferences? It does what NEFESH International is about to do. It does it again, of course. NEFESH is proud and very excited to announce the Eighteenth Annual Conference to take place on Sunday and Monday, December 28th and 29th, 2014, at the Hyatt Regency in Hauppauge, New Yor …
How to Choose a Career that is Best for You
Author: Tzvi Pirutinsky, Ph.D.
November 25th, 2014
How to Choose a Career that is Best for You By Tzvi Pirutinsky, Ph.D. Choosing the right career can be a difficult and anxiety-provoking process. Will I enjoy it? Will I be good at it? Will it provide an adequate livelihood? Will my family support this choice? On the other hand, it is also an opportunity to actively explore and discover more about yourself and the world, so picking the right career can be exciting, informative, and even fun.
Do You Need a Marriage Therapist?
Author: Ovadia Trepp, MSW, LCSW
November 25th, 2014
For the purpose of this article, we will be discussing two distinct types of problems that impact marriages, namely, couple problems and individual problems. We will also be talking about two types (or modalities) of therapy: marital and individual. Like the handyman who needs to know the details of a job before choosing the appropriate set of tools, it is helpful to identify the type of issue you are experiencing before choosing one type of ther …
Transcending Adversity
Author: Harriet Cabelly, LCSW
November 25th, 2014
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” – Viktor Frankl Throughout life, people transcend their adversities in different ways; some people can go through a lot and be able to rise above and live well, and some people simply succumb to their circumstances. Th …
When to Worry About Your Child’s Worries
Author: Regine Galanti, PhD
November 25th, 2015
Sam Cohen* is a bright 7-year-old boy who notices everything. If a paper clip is out of place on my desk, Sam is the first to comment. Though he’s always been intelligent, Sam’s parents have also noticed that their son has been a worrier for as long as they can remember. His thoughts often include fears like: What will the other children at school think of him? What if his parents’ car crashes on the way to the grocery store? Wh …
Nature versus Nurture: An Age-Old Debate
Author: Marlene Greenspan, MA, LPC
November 25th, 2015
Part of the great debate of nurture versus nature includes the question of: who influences the student more, the family or the school? How important is it for children to be coddled and guided both at home and at school? Nowadays, children attend school almost as soon as they can walk, starting with a toddler program at just two years old (or younger). Some families prefer to have small groups of children rotating houses with parents serving as & …
Forgetting Father’s Day: Perinatal Mood Disorders in Men
Author: Dvora Entin, LCSW
November 25th, 2015
As the field of maternal mental health is growing and expanding, we are becoming more alert to the shifting family dynamics as parents and extended loved ones welcome new members of the tribe. After the initial celebrations of the shalom zachor, bris or kiddush have passed and shortly after the first car ride home in the cute new outfit selected for just this event, parents are introduced to a completely new reality. Even as couples welcome baby …
Choosing Life
Author:
November 25th, 2015
They tell me that my grandfather loved life. I never met him – he passed away many years before I was born. But I've always wondered what it's like to love life. If I could just get through life without too much pain, I would be happy. Happy. That might not be the right word. Do I really know what being happy feels like? Satisfied is more like it. My childhood home was not a happy one. Growing up in the shadow of "the War," there was a lot …
Helping Children Cope with Terrorism
Author: Dr. Sarah Lewis-Levy
November 25th, 2015
As a neuropsychologist who recently moved to Israel, I have been inundated with questions from parents about how to deal with their young children’s questions and fears stemming from the recent slew of terror attacks. Tthe truth is that my response to terrorism in Israel is different from my response to terrorism in the United States. When I worked as the director of guidance at a school in America, I recommended that, for 9/11 memorials, t …
Facilitating Acceptance, Part II
Author: Kalman Canant, LCSW, CSAT-c
November 25th, 2015
The Serenity Prayer The serenity prayer is central to various 12-step programs, such as Alcoholics Anonymous and the other “anonymous” groups. Outside the context of the 12-steps as well, the prayer helps many people to handle daily life issues. With the prayer’s concepts, one learns to “live life on life’s terms” and cope with reality. Instead of using a substance, a process, or a relationship for instant grat …
Depression in Our Community
Author: Michael J. Salamon, Ph.D.
November 25th, 2015
In the United States, roughly 12 million women suffer some form of depression. Symptoms of depression include changes in mood, sleep patterns and eating habits, along with decreased pleasure in many activities, fatigue, agitation, feeling worthless, helpless and alone, and difficulty concentrating. Although not everyone suffers from all these symptoms, women who have some of the symptoms should get proper care. Unfortunately, only about half of w …
Building Our Marriages through Torah
Author: David Mark, MS, LMSW, Certified Gottman Therapist
November 25th, 2015
It is not uncommon for all books of faith to honor and respect marriage. In Judaism, two sources of the Living Bible were given to Moses on Mount Sinai some 3,328 years ago. Both of equal importance, they are known as the Written Law (also referred to as the Torah, the Five Books of Moses, or the Old Testament), and the Oral Law (also known as the Mishna). This article will share some examples of how the wisdom in the Living Bible can be used to …
All in the Family
Author: Shaya Hecht, LMSW
November 25th, 2015
As many parents can attest, oppositional and defiant behavior can be quite difficult to manage. I have encountered parents who are eager to develop behavior plans from our very first meeting, as well as parents who report that behavioral interventions do not seem to work for their child. While research shows that behavioral interventions can be very helpful in reducing a child’s negative behavior, it is also important that the parent-child …
A Parenting Guide for the Chanukah Frenzy
Author: Sara Teichman, Psy.D.
November 25th, 2015
You don’t have to be Orthodox or even Jewish to know about the commercialization of Chanukah in our time. What with too many parties, too much fried food, endless doughnuts and an abundance of gifts, the holiday starts to lose its meaning. The surplus of stuff (some families give a gift every night!) makes some children grabby and whiney, and liable to lose appreciation for each individual gift – and its giver. For the parents of thos …
Introduction November 2015
Author: Lisa Twersky LCSW
November 25th, 2015
Dear Readers, Sarah*, a single young woman in her twenties, was talking to me about needing to make some changes. She described an incident that she was deeply uncomfortable with, which she felt she needed to do something about. Sarah and her friend Tzippy* got into a disagreement, and Tzippy said something that Sarah found very hurtful. Sarah’s response was to break down crying, unable to relay what she was feeling and express herse …
Staying The Course of Therapy
Author: Pamela P. Siller, MD
November 27th, 2021
Patients frequently question their mental health professionals as to what action they should take in any given circumstance. Most want advice about marriage, children, jobs and coworkers, while others have concerns about other relationships. One of the most complicated of these, which can cause the most angst, and possible detriment, is the therapeutic relationship. ______________________________________ Miri is an 18-year-old g …
Introduction November 2017
Author:
November 28th, 2017
By Yehuda Krohn, PsyD A little over a month ago, many of us were present in shul when Megillas Kohelles was read. In perhaps the best known section of Kohelles, the beginning of the third chapter, we are introduced to the notion that there is a time and season for every object under the heavens. What is remarkable about what follows – a time to give birth, a time to die; a time to plant, a time to uproot; and each of the subsequent pairings …
Defusing Defensiveness
Author:
November 28th, 2017
By Sara Teichman, Psy.D. Do you feel like you can’t tell your kids anything? Even something like “remember your lunch money” or “Did you shut the air in your room?” Forget about something that is actually instructive – mind you, not critical. So, does a reminder that there is a family Bar Mitzvah the night before finals or a suggestion to take winter clothes to the school Shabbaton elicit a barrage of eye rolli …
Choose a Therapist Wisely
Author:
November 28th, 2017
By Michael J. Salamon, Ph.D. A recent report from ABC News Australia validates what those of us in the field already know, “Poorly trained relationship counsellors (are) doing more harm than good.” According to the Australian College of Relationship Counsellors, couples experiencing marital difficulties are turning to therapists who are not well prepared but are less expensive. This is due to the fact that, in Australia, less prepared …
Misdiagnosed: Overlooked medical issues and their effects on children’s behaviors
Author:
November 28th, 2017
By Rachel Rosenholtz, LCSW *Names and circumstances have been altered to protect client privacy He’s out of control. David is constantly fighting with kids in his class and taking things from them, often unprovoked. He has been this way since he entered preschool a year ago. He is defiant at school and aggressive at home. Leah has a difficult time focusing and following instructions. She often appear …
Sober Kiddushes and Sober-Brengens
Author:
November 28th, 2017
By Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D. Author’s note: The privacy and confidentiality of individuals found in this narrative was safeguarded, by modifying identifying details. Our session began, as scheduled, the Sunday after Simchas Torah. I waited for Moe to choose a starting point. He opened with “Well, Yom Tov was fine. It was really draining, though.” I thought I knew what Moe meant: There …
Being a Mindful Parent
Author:
November 28th, 2017
By Esther Goldstein LCSW How can you provide a framework for your children to develop into confident, solid individuals who can build meaningful lives? Let's take a look at the trajectory of a life. Children come into this world seeking safety, love, connection, and responsiveness. What matters beneath it all is that child know they are seen, heard, responded to, and reassured with safety. This way they can begin to trust that they are saf …
Parent Child Relationship Building: The Power of Praise
Author:
November 28th, 2017
By Regine Galanti, Ph.D. A parent was recently in my office to discuss her young daughter’s defiant behavior. She described noticing that, in her relationship with her children, she’s constantly busy with them, but rarely gives them her full attention, especially if they’re not misbehaving. As a parent, I can relate. My children take up almost all of my time, cooking their dinners, supervising homework, shepherding them between …
Emotions Of Loss
Author:
November 28th, 2017
By Dvora Entin, LCSW Let’s share a cup of tea: the emotional experience of grieving a pregnancy loss Bereavement doesn't really come with an instruction manual. Mourning does. As Torah guided people, we get the directions about burial, shiva, tearing clothes, where to sit, and what to cover, but the experience of what comes next is a bit absent for the grieving. Especially for those that have a less defined, focused period for …
Staying The Course of Parenting
Author: Rabbi Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
November 28th, 2021
Dear Readers Welcome to the November issue of Mind Body & Soul, titled “staying the course”. The term “staying the course” may not be familiar to everyone. Staying the course, in its most literal sense, refers to those on a sea journey, facing forces – be they powerful storms, loss of power, or even pirates – that jeopardize their reaching an intended destination. A skilled traveler calmly adjusts in a mann …
Change Is Essential To Mental Health
Author: Dr. Alan M. Singer
November 28th, 2021
"Your life does not get better by chance; it gets better by change." (Jim Rohn) I am not trying to be a contrarian, but when I saw that the theme for this Mind-Body-Soul is Staying the Course, I thought to myself that one foundation of our field of mental health is to NOT stay the course. The founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy, Dr. Sue Johnson explains it this way: clients come into our offices with one story, and we help them leave with …
A Nagging Problem in Marriage
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R DHL
November 28th, 2021
The Gemara Beutza 35b describes the halakhic status of water dripping into a house from a leaky roof, and if it is permitted to put a pot underneath it to collect the drippings. You can imagine this man’s wife begging him to get the roof fixed before Yom Tov (the Holidays), and him procrastinating. While we are on the subject of leaky roofs and nagging, let us take a look at what Mishlei (Proverbs) has to say about this: משלי כ״ …
Staying The Course - The Big Picture
Author: Esther Gendelman, MS, LPC, CPC
November 28th, 2021
One word encapsulates the theme of staying the course. That word is LIFE. If we want to choose life, we choose to stay the course no matter what happens. Sometimes, the course is filled with pain and grief while at others, there are experiences that elicit intense joy and we savor each moment. I might be a young child whose world changed when a parent died, or a special needs sibling was born, or my parents divorced, or I experienced …
Living in Real Time
Author: Eitan Zerykier
November 29th, 2019
What is it like when you cannot find an item that you need, your child whines, or you see someone toss an entire meal’s worth of McDonald’s wrappers and soda bottles out their window? Frustrating, annoying, and disgusting? Our brain automatically sends us messages in response to what we see, hear, or experience around us. What we do next defines how we live our lives. No one will remember what you were thinking, only how you behaved. …
When Compassion Heals
Author: Rabbi Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
November 29th, 2022
Dear Readers
Welcome to the November edition of Mind Body & Soul, themed “Is there more than one way to heal?” Interestingly, most of the articles submitted focus less on the differences between treatment modalities and more on the common threads of effective, healing treatment. Also, several articles challenge the notion that emotional healing must eradicate any and all vestiges of illness. In particular, Douglas Balin d …
Resilience for Healthy Living
Author: Douglas Balin, LMSW, MPA
November 29th, 2022
Resilience can be thought of as G-ds natural medication for a healthier and thriving life. We can learn a great deal from resilient people and each one of us can take advantage of this wonderful and holistic tool to stay physically and emotionally healthy. Some have it innately; most of us must learn the secrets. The best part is, we can all learn to become resilient. We can train ourselves to improve our lives and obtain the skills and knowledge …
Approaching Healing with Realistic Expectations
Author: Dr. Alan M. Singer
November 29th, 2022
Please don't be disappointed if this essay approaches the topic of healing with a measure of skepticism. From my professional point of view, there may not exist the concept of “complete emotional healing”. When discussing trauma with my MSW students at the Touro University Graduate School of Social Work, I begin the semester by quoting Dr. Sue Johnson (creator of Emotionally Focused Therapy) who states that our role as therapists is t …
Putting the Jew in Jewelry
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R, DHL
November 29th, 2022
On a recent daf yomi (Kesuvos 63) we heard about the great sacrifices that Rochel made to support her husband, the famous Rabbi Akiva, in his study of Torah. As the well-known story goes, Rabbi Akiva was unlettered and unlearned, but Rochel saw great character and potential in him. She married him even though her wealthy father disowned her, and she endured 24 years of poverty while her husband studied Torah abroad.
When she finally sees he …
Resistant to Change: Can a Treatment- Resistant Client Be Helped?
Author: Chaya Rubin, Ph.D.
November 29th, 2022
There used to be a popular joke about psychologists that went as follows: Q: How many
psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? A: That depends on if the light bulb
wants to change.
The mutative process in therapy is no laughing matter, though, and mental health
professionals differ in their understanding of these mechanisms. The most popular
therapeutic methods, namely behavioral therapies, hum …
Empowering Ourselves
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
November 30th, 2019
Dear Readers: Welcome to the newest edition of Mind Body & Soul. Its theme is. Power is an evocative term, an emotion-laden concept. Allow me to illustrate: Have you ever been in the presence of a powerful person? How did you come to know that they were powerful? Did you feel as though their power was supporting you, that some of their power might even be flowing through you, making you stronger? Alternatively, were you painfully aware of hav …
Taking Responsibility
Author: Sara Teichman, PsyD
November 30th, 2019
Taking responsibility—for our attitudes, actions, and behavior—is a sign of maturity and good mental health. So, while we can understand that a five-year-old denies taking a cookie when his face is covered with crumbs, we are less forgiving of the adolescent who cheats on a test because “all his friends do.” As we mature, we develop more of an internal locus of control, (i.e. the understanding that our behavior is the resu …
Empowerment
Author: Pamela Siller, MD
November 30th, 2019
“To be empowered you have to know what you want for your life and why. Without some degree of personal empowerment, your life will live you. Nothing changes unless you change it. No matter what you’re seeking it can only happen if you do something about it” (The Startup) Some children are lucky enough to grow up with parents who are nurturing and supportive. They teach their children from a young age that they can accomplish the …
Addiction Challenges a Parent’s Love
Author: Alberta Montano-DiFabio
November 30th, 2019
In my present life, I welcome the opportunity to write on the topic of addiction, but this was not always the case. Life experiences, knowledge, and the healing of time have brought a clarity of thought and feelings to be shared. For some, this article may provide an opportunity to experience an inside view on addiction as well as new information and insight on the effect of addiction on families with a focus on how it challenges a parent’s …
Narcissism: Self Love Disordered
Author: Dvorah Levy, LCSW
November 30th, 2019
In the last edition of The Jewish Press’s Mind, Body and Soul, I published an article on attachment templates. In my article, I described a woman struggling to heal from a narcissistic relationship with her ex-husband only to find herself drawn to narcissists when she began dating again. In response, multiple individuals reached out to me wanting to talk about their relationship with a narcissist. Due to the interest this sparked, I thought …
Are Positive-Thinking Gurus Snake Oil Salespeople?
Author: Benjamin Halpern, LCSW
November 30th, 2019
There are so many gurus who talk about positive thinking. They teach that everything is essentially positive. You need to recognize that everything is great and rosy, if you don’t then you are not thinking positively, and you will not have the happy life that you desire. This is taken even a step further, that if you don’t see something as positive, you make it become negative; you are in control and responsible for all the negativity …
Caring for an Invisible Illness
Author:
November 30th, 2019
I once had an ingrown toenail which got removed but kept coming back. So, I went to my foot doctor to treat it. As I was sitting on the reclined chair, he sprayed a saline solution, which numbed my toe and allowed him to work on it without causing me an ounce of pain. He finished his job, but I couldn’t wear my regular shoe, as my toe had swelled from the injection. And so, I was given a boot to wear for two days. I was a bit embarrassed to …
Just in Time
Author: Rabbi Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.,
November 30th, 2022
Mordy, a 40-something father of three, has been meeting with me for about a year. We focus on issues of intimacy, productivity, and accountability. His wife, Leah, works downtown, in an
executive position. Mordy’s graphic design job allows him to work part-time from home. He is present for their children, and manages assorted household responsibilities.
Mordy struggles, though, to follow through on tasks. The work-projects he unde …
The First Step Toward Change
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
September 1st, 2021
Dear Readers, Welcome to the August edition of Mind, Body & Soul, themed “Taking the first step”. I’d like you to consider the many and varied ways that people take their first steps. A baby, transitioning from crawling and cruising to walking, is literally taking his first step. Until now he did not even have the capacity to walk. Children and adults, who can already walk, sometimes feel as though they are stuck in a …
First and Most Important: The Foundation Stone of Marriage
Author: Dr. Alan Singer
September 1st, 2021
The foundation stone of a building, also known as the cornerstone or setting stone, is the first stone set in the construction of a masonry foundation. All other stones will be set in reference to this stone, and will thus determine the position of the entire structure. This metaphor can be used in searching for the foundation stone of marriage. In my professional opinion, the foundation stone of marriage is TRUST. …
Why do We Hate The People Loved?
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
September 1st, 2021
Why do We Hate The People Loved? Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R The Recent daf Yomi (Succah 4b), quotes a verse (Shemos 25:22) that becomes the inspiration from one of my favorite sayings in the Gemara. וְנוֹעַדְתִּ֣י לְךָ֮ שָׁם֒ וְדִבַּרְתִּ֨י אִתְּךָ֜ מֵעַ֣ל הַכַּפֹּ֗רֶת מִבֵּין֙ שְׁנֵ֣י הַכְּרֻבִ֔ים אֲשֶׁ֖ר עַל־אֲר֣וֹן הָע …
Emotional Well Being for Older Adults
Author: Douglas Balin, LMSW, MPA
September 1st, 2021
The Covid 19 pandemic has placed a spotlight on a long-neglected issue; the emotional health of older adults in America. Older adults have become a significant part of our society. Each day, 10,000 individuals celebrate their 65th birthday in the United States, and there are more than 40 million people over the age of 65, according to the Census Bureau. Peluso, Watts and Parsons, in their book, Changing Aging, Changing Family Therapy, predict tha …
Its Not On Me
Author: Tzipora Shub, LCSW
September 1st, 2021
My trusty 2008 Honda Accord was in the shop (it had been acting a bit less trusty than usual), and my very generous friend who was going out of the country on vacation offered me her brand new Toyota Corolla to use while she was away. It’s sleek, compact, smooth, and still has the new car smell. We were getting along great, the car and I, until it started telling me what to do. (I see some married people nodding at this point. You get it). …
Why Is it So Hard To Take The First Step?
Author: Shuli Sandler, Psy.D.
September 1st, 2021
Many of us know what we want. We have ideas of what we want to accomplish, we may make lists, or set goals. And yet, productive action often evades us. We may feel a gap between what we want to achieve and what we do. Other times, we may feel confused and unable to define what it is it that we truly want. How do we take that first step? Or rather, why is it that we often don’t take the steps to define what we want and accomplish our goals. …
Write Your Way Home
Author: .Yocheved Rottenberg, CJF
September 1st, 2021
Imagine I told you that I know of a therapist that costs about a dollar an hour, has a lot of availability and is surprisingly effective. You wouldn't believe me, but I'd insist it's true. Take out a notebook, find yourself a pen, and begin writing. Therapy has officially begun.
Therapeutic writing is research-based, effective and very simple. Once you learn to do it properly, you can achieve tremendous growth by understanding yourself, cont …
An Open Letter to Caregivers for the Opening of 5782
Author: Adina Segal, LCSW
September 3rd, 2021
The month of Elul is the only time it is brought down in Halacha to visit the graves of departed family members. While there are a variety of reasons for this, it is a way to connect us to the full spectrum of the lifespan and to connect us to those who came before us. Instead of being a morbid practice, this minhag is meant to assist us in focusing on reevaluating our actions and priorities in our lives. In the vein of both teshuva and con …
Fostering Positive Behaviors
Author: By Mendi Baron, LCSW
September 4th, 2018
So many young people come through the doors of treatment struggling with a variety of behavioral and addiction issues. Oftentimes they are accompanied by their parents, who tend to feel pain, frustration, and, most commonly, guilt for their child’s struggle. What did we do? What could we have done? How did it come to this? There is no easy answer. It is difficult, maybe even impossible, to find one specific cause or lapse of judgment within …
METHODOLOGIES FOR CHANGE WITHIN THE CONTEXT OF A DATING/MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP
Author:
September 4th, 2018
By: Marcy Davidovics, LCSW The couple sitting before me were dating for 6 months. After ups and downs and working through the logistical, emotional, and practical components of their relationship, they seemed to be making headway. It was now down to one perception that one of them labeled as seemingly “non-negotiable.” They felt stuck. The concern had nothing to do with character traits or negative behavior, for those are not f …
Decisions from within
Author:
September 4th, 2018
By: Dr. Michael J. Salamon How do we make decisions? How do we process information and use it to help us determine which decisions are appropriate for us to make? The human brain is an intricate organ. It processes voluminous amounts of information every second and responds instantly to complex data. To operate that way, the brain uses algorithms, allowing us to react rapidly. Evaluating this process is an enlightening study of the brain and how …
Changing from Within
Author:
September 4th, 2018
By: Pamela P. Siller, MD The Beginning As a practicing psychiatrist, I am frequently asked how to engage an unwilling patient in mental health treatment. My response is unvaried, “It is very difficult. The desire to change must come from within.” Although the precipitant to change can take many forms, it usually involves some degree of psychic pain or discomfort, as change is neither easy nor comfortable. The next step involves a will …
Change: It’s Not About Them
Author:
September 4th, 2018
By Sara Teichman, Psy.D. Many parents see changing some part of their children’s behavior as a critical goal. They feel that it is their duty to fix their children, to eradicate any negative patterns of behavior. Some try to teach, lecture, give examples, and tell stories all in an effort to get their children to change. However their children already know the rules. They know that they should wait their turn, follow directions, etc. They d …
The Change From Within
Author:
September 4th, 2018
By Lisa Twerski, LCSW When we are children, our parents can imbue us with a healthy sense of self. They love us and we feel loved, they show confidence in us and we feel self-confident, they esteem us and we feel self-esteem. They may do this by expressing these things directly. They may do this by giving us the opportunity to try and succeed or fail, showing us that we have them by our side no matter what. There are many ways parents can seek to …